One month after "that night"...

"Em? Em, are you in there? Emily!"

Emily moaned, curling tighter into a ball. "Go away." She thought she had said that aloud, but no sound emerged from her mouth.

"EMILY PRENTISS! If you don't answer in the next five seconds, JJ and I are going to come in! I really hope you're not having naughty dirty sex with Mr No-Face-but-Gorgeous-Butt."

The brunette profiler grabbed a pillow and covered her head with it. "Go away, Pen!" This time her voice worked. Unfortunately, it didn't travel anywhere near where it needed to go.

A minute later, she heard a cacophony of noises in the living room and then Pen's voice again. This time much nearer. As in right next to her.

"Em? Are you all right?"

Couldn't she tell from the smell of sickness in the room? "No."

"Sweetie, I'm going to take the pillow away now, okay?" Slowly, the pillow she was holding was tugged away.

"Wow. Oh my goodness," she heard JJ say. "Emily, what happened?"

"I think I'm dying." She didn't even know who was speaking, it didn't sound like her at all. Maybe she had been possessed a la The Exorcist. She'd even had the exact same projectile vomiting symptoms. Case in point, yesterday when she couldn't make the six extra steps to the bathroom and had to throw open her window in a panic. Mr Thompson on the ground floor wasn't going to be impressed when he opened the window outside his bedroom. On the bright side, she had given his roses an extra dose of fertiliser. She wondered vaguely if regurgitated food had the same nutrients as manure. Where was Reid when she needed him?

"You are not dying, don't be ridiculous." Emily watched blearily as Pen leaned over to prop a pillow behind her head.

"I'm going to get her some tea. But first, this bucket needs emptying."

"Sorry, JJ," whispered Linda Blair lite.

"Lucky for you, I'm a mum. I can handle anything you throw at me. Snot, vomit, runny poop..." Her voice trailed off as she walked into the bathroom.

Emily felt her tummy roil. "Oh God, JJ..."

Pen smoothed the hair off her face. "Sweetie, why didn't you call us? We hadn't heard from you in four days! I was on the verge of sending Kevin over to check in on you. Lucky our case was solved just in time. Have you been sick the whole time we've been away?"

"Yeah, I think. All the days are kinda blurry. I don't know where I got this stomach flu from. I've been too sick to get to a doctor. Not that it matters, I don't think he'd be able to do anything. Because I swear I've even puked out the lining to my stomach. I don't even think that sphincter thingy on top of my stomach even sphincs or whatever any more." She sank into her pillow, exhausted from that small surge of energy she had just expended talking.

JJ walked back into the room, bucket in hand. "I'm no doctor, but I have read my family medical encyclopaedia from beginning to end since I've had Henry. I don't think a stomach flu would have lasted this long." She frowned. After putting the bucket down next to the bed, she perched on the edge of it. "Em, I'm not asking you this because I doubt your recall, and I know you told us you used protection, but are you one hundred percent sure you used protection in Topeka?"

Emily gaped at her friend. "I am not pregnant, JJ! And I am one thousand percent sure we used protection. I clearly remember pulling out the Trojans from my clutch. Pen, go check, it's on the shelf in my wardrobe. I tell you, they're gone because we used them all."

The tech analyst pulled the bag out and opened it. "Hmm..." She pulled out a foil wrapper and examined it. "Do you want the good news first or the bad news?"

Emily felt her heart stop. "Pen, what is it? Tell me!"

Her friend gave her a pained look. "So, the good news is that all the Trojans are gone, which means you probably did use them. The bad news is that they expired like a year ago."

A deathly silence fell over the room.

"Oh my God." This from JJ because Emily was too stunned to even speak. It seemed her stomach was stunned too, because she felt no nausea for the first time in almost a week.

"Okay, okay, we need to just calm down and take a deep breath," said Pen.

Unfortunately, it seemed that Emily's lungs were in too much shock to work. Her vision started tunnelling.

The tech analyst continued. "Em, you're forty-two right? Almost forty-three. Anyway, I was watching some documentary about babies and pregnancy the other night, and it said that at forty-three, women had only a one to two percent chance of conception in a year! So it would pretty much be a miracle if you had gotten pregnant."

Emily felt like she had just been plunged into a vat of jelly. Everything around her was muffled and she couldn't breathe or move.

"Emily? Hon, did you hear Pen?" She felt JJ's hand on her arm. "The chances of you being pregnant are extremely low. You know, between your fertility and the fact that a condom would have had to break, which it mightn't have. So don't worry. Em, did you hear me? Em?"

The brunette looked blankly at her two friends. "I'm pregnant."

"E, you don't know that for sure. You – " Pen started to speak.

"No, I'm pregnant."

"How do you know?" asked JJ.

Emily blinked. "My boobs hurt and I haven't had my period. Also..." She bit her lip. "I haven't told you, but I've been having fertility treatments because I've decided to a baby."

The jaws of the two blondes fell open and they both stared at her with enormous eyes. Pen's were practically googly behind her glasses.

"WHAT! You've been trying to get pregnant and you didn't tell us? Oooh, you are in big trouble SSA Prentiss." Pen shook her head, outrage mixed with shock reflected on her face.

JJ's response was more moderate. And a hell of lot more more terrifying. "Well, if you're right, the good news is that you don't have to worry about fertility treatments any longer." She paused. "The bad news is that you could be carrying more than one baby in there."

"Fricking shit on a stick," muttered Emily, squeezing her eyes shut. "No, the worse news is that this baby is going to have a slutty mama who doesn't have a clue in hell who its father is."

Pen's next statement made her eyes fly open in horror. "Worst news. You could be carrying little cowboy babies. Oh no! Em? Em? Wake up, sweetie!"

Next chapter, the team finds out. And so does our favourite couple! Please leave me a review if you can.