Inception on a Rainy Night by KT8812
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: This chapter is dedicated to BookwormBaby2580 who has very graciously accepted to be my Beta. The credit for the improvement in my writing goes to her!
Previously:
I dropped next to him, ignoring the little pieces of debris that dug into my flesh. It was nothing compared to the pain, his pain. I curled my body around his, hoping he'd realize my presence but he remained unmoved. My heart was about to explode.I needed to talk to him, apologize to him for doubting him, us.I needed to tell him that I loved him, but my tongue wouldn't work, my mouth felt like it was full of cotton.
As the darkness closed in, I had only one prominent thought.
I love you.
Chapter 11:
JPOV:
If you really expect me to believe that you care for me as much as you say you do, you'll let me go.
Her words echoed over and over in my mind, rising to a deafening crescendo till I could hear nothing else and feel nothing other than the pain they brought. She didn't want me. She wanted to run away from me. My mate had left me.
I let loose a scream of pain that reverberated along the ancient walls of the house and yet it did nothing to assuage the pain burning in my chest. I would have chosen to undergo the pain from the transformation again rather than suffer this agony.
All I felt was pain and rage. I wanted to tear down buildings and burn the trees to the ground. I wanted to kill anyone who came in my path and bathe in their blood. For the first time in years I felt my bloodlust spiral out of control. I needed something to fill the gaping wound Bella left in my chest and blood seemed to be the answer. My heart had been broken and all I wanted to do was burn and tear, destroy and desecrate, mutilate and eviscerate.
But I couldn't.
Even in her absence I couldn't rid myself of hope. Hope, that somehow she would come back to me. I would do whatever it took to bring her back to me, to keep her with me for all eternity.
I was among the strongest creatures on the planet, yet the stone walls of the mansion held me captive. I couldn't leave, not when there was a chance that Bella might come back, but the pain, the fury was too much. It needed to be unleashed but there is nowhere for me to go. I let loose my wrath on the house that surrounded me, not caring what Esme would say when she found her precious house in ruins.
I punched the walls, tore down the fancy chandelier and pulverized the furniture till there was nothing left to demolish. I ran up the stairs, wanting to continue my mad frenzy but stopped short in front of my room. Not my room, our room. It was the room where I first claimed my Bella. I walked over to the bed and it was still saturated will her smell. More importantly, it held the smell of our passion, our love. The sheets were creased and wrinkled and they reminded me of each move my Bella made.
The room held too many memories. Had it just been two days since I first brought my Bella here? No, this room was too special, too sacred for me to destroy. I turned and walked out of the room and down the stairs. I surveyed the devastation I had caused and thought that the scene in front of me very well epitomized the condition of my dead heart.
I crumbled to the floor there, waiting for my Bella. Only she could put me out of my misery and I'd wait an eternity for her if I had to. I let my pain flow out of me and surround me like a blanket. I lost track of time as my mind slipped into a limbo with only Bella's memories to keep me company.
"I love you", she said, her voice just a whisper. Warmth poured into my soul at her words and it was a balm to my burnt heart. Through the haze of pain, I wondered if I had actually heard her say those words or if my mind was playing games with me. But slowly, the ache reduced, my muscles thawed and I drew in a ragged breath.
Ah sweet heavens! The smell was like manna from heaven. It enveloped me, teasing and tantalizing me, making me crave it in a way I had never wanted anything else. I regained my senses to find something warm curled up behind me, something soft and warm, its lifeblood pulsing and throbbing, enticing me.
The thirst flared in my throat like an inferno, blinding me with its intensity. Nothing mattered but the thirst and the need to quench it. But before I could claim that inviting aroma, I was thrown across the room.
Growling, I turned towards the intruder who stood over my prey. A feral smile stole over my features. Did this fool think he could keep me from my kill? I crouched down to mimic his pose. I started stalking him, but he remained unmoved. Was he too much of a coward to fight for his kill? If so, I had no intension of playing games. The burn at the back of my throat was becoming unbearable. I flung myself at him, confident of my fighting prowess.
In just five moves, I had him pinned to the floor completely at my mercy. I just wanted him out of my way so that I could have my meal.
"Son, please, you don't want to do this. Jasper, come back, my son. Remember who you are," he pleaded with wide black eyes.
I wanted to lean down and rip off his head but something seemed to be pulling at the edges of my conscience. I looked at the man pinned beneath me. Blonde hair, kind eyes, and compassion even in the face of death.
Father… Carlisle!
"Find yourself, my son. You don't want to hurt her. You love her; she's your mate. You don't want to drink from Bella. Find the will to stop, Jasper," he continued to talk to me.
I finally took a closer look at the creature whose heartbeat called to me. There she was, face pale, dark hair fanned out behind her, lying in the dirt and grit, tiny and defenseless, unconscious.
"Bella," I cried, trying to get to her but in the same instant Carlisle had me in an unmovable grip.
"You need to hunt before you go to her, Jasper, or you might end up hurting her," he said as he dragged me towards the door, the only intact structure in the entire living room.
"No! I won't hurt her, please! Why is she on the floor? Is she hurt?"
"She'll be fine just as soon as you're next to her after your hunt. Please don't argue with me on this, son. You've expended a tremendous amount of energy due to the emotions you were projecting. You need to hunt before you do anything. Bella will be fine for a while by herself," he explained even as we ran deeper into the forest. I was contemplating ignoring his requests and turning back to go to my Bella when the scent caught me. I prayed for my Bella before I let my instincts take over and pounced on the nearest animal.
Two deer, a cougar and a fox later I was so full I could feel the blood sloshing around inside me. Carlisle was waiting for me but with out a word to him, I took off towards the house. As I approached the house, I could hear Bella's rhythmic heart-beats and her slow breathing. She was still unconscious. Without breaking stride, I picked her up and laid her on our bed in my room. From what I could tell, there was nothing wrong with her. She might just have been sleeping from the look on her face.
"Bella? Darlin', please wake up. I'm so sorry, I need to see your eyes love," I begged but there was no change in her state.
"You need to let her rest, Jasper," Carlisle said, standing outside the door.
He knew better than to come closer to us when my mate was in such a vulnerable condition. I wanted to growl on instinct, but controlled myself. This wasn't about me, it was about Bella and she needed help. I buried my face in her neck, reveling for a moment in her warmth and scent before drawing a deep breath, hoping I would have the strength to do what was needed.
"Come in Carlisle, I need you to check what's wrong with her."
He took a cautious steep inside, locking his eyes with mine, silently asking for permission to continue. I nodded in response and waited as he came closer and closer to Bella's prone form on the bed. I sat on the bed so that my body was in between Bella and Carlisle. There was a limit to my control on my natural instincts and Carlisle seemed to understand this.
He reached across me to check her, and ordinarily it would have seemed very weird except Carlisle did not take offense and ignored the growl or two that escaped from me. As soon as he finished, he moved to the farthest point of the room, barely standing inside the door as I gathered Bella in my arms, pulling her close. I needed to ensure that she had truly returned to me.
"There doesn't seem to be anything physically wrong with her," Carlisle told me in his doctor voice. "The pain you were projecting must have taken a toll on her and hence she must have fainted. If she doesn't wake up in the next six to eight hours then we'll have to get a CT scan and MRI done," he added.
"She came back to me when I was projecting? How could you let her do that Carlisle?" I demanded, angry that he'd allowed Bella to do something so reckless.
"I've been able to bring down vampires with that kind of pain and you let her endure something like that in her fragile state? Where's your common sense, Carlisle? I thought you were supposed to be intelligent!" I seethed. I had never taken such a tone with Carlisle, but the fear for Bella's health prevented me from thinking of respect and deference.
"I advised her against it, Jasper, but Bella is a very strong-willed child," he said with a kind smile on his face. "She refused to allow her mate to suffer alone, especially when she knew that it was her absence that caused you such agony."
Carlisle's words gave me the hope I so desperately needed, but I did not want to have them dashed again. I tried interpreting all possible meanings of the sentence, but only came up with one answer.
"Does it that mean that she accepts me as her mate? She came back to me so she must… she loves me?" I despised the amount of anticipation and need in my voice as I looked to Carlisle for confirmation.
"Indeed she does, Jasper. The amount of pain you were projecting had me on my knees before I could even enter the foyer, but she forged on. I wanted her to wait till you calmed down a bit, but she couldn't bear to see you hurting so much. I don't think you'd have broken out of your trance if it hadn't been for her," he said, love and pride reflecting on his face.
"I almost killed her," I whispered as I thought of my crazed actions after regaining my senses. "She couldn't watch me hurting and I almost drained her dry. I even attacked you!" I cried.
"Not for the first time in the day, I might add," he said dryly.
"She could have been dead by my hands," I said, still trying to come to terms with the horrifying realization. I had thought that nothing could hurt me more than losing my mate, but now I knew that being the cause of her demise would have been even worse.
"Stop wallowing in guilt, Jasper," Carlisle commanded. "You've said the same thing to Edward innumerable times and now I want you to follow your own advice. Stop over-thinking the situation. You didn't hurt her and that's all that matters. Also, if my medical expertise is anything go by, I'm sure she'll be fine when she wakes up, so try focusing on that."
I nodded as I held my Bella tighter in my arms. She was safe and well; that was all that mattered.
"Thank you, Carlisle, and I'm sorry," I said.
"Don't mention it, son. All's well that ends well," he quoted sagely just as his cell phone vibrated.
"Alice," he stated.
I let lose the roar that welled up inside me.
"She knew!" I roared. "She knew what would happen, but she did nothing to stop it! She could have prevented the suffering I caused Bella, but she didn't. If it hadn't been for you, I'd have drained her dry! I'll rip her apart, Carlisle!" I threatened.
Alice must have seen everything that had happened but she warned neither of us to prevent it. Me suffering from the pain of believing that my mate had deserted me was something I could forgive her for. But the fact that I put Bella at risk because she didn't deem it necessary to inform us of the future was not something I could ever forgive her for. It was a blessing for Alice that she wasn't present; otherwise nothing could have stopped me from destroying her.
"Jasper, calm down. Don't go accusing Alice before hearing what she has to say. I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for her actions," Carlisle said.
"You really should trust me more than that, Jasper," Alice said sounding wounded but I was not about to give in to her.
"I stopped trusting you the day I found out that you had lied to me for over five decades, Alice," I said, my voice infused with venom.
Deadly silence greeted us as all my family members who'd been engrossed in various activities all over the house in Forks came to a standstill. My separation from Alice had been difficult for the entire family. While they pretended that everything was fine on the surface, I knew how shook up inside they were. They couldn't hide from an empath and it was the reason why I had decided to spend some time alone. Obviously, our break-up was still a sore subject for them.
"That's not fair, Jasper," she whispered.
"Not fair? Not fair?" I hissed as I struggled to keep my voice low in fear of disturbing Bella. "You allowed the situation to get so out of hand that I could have drained Bella without knowing what was happening!"
There were gasps all around the house and two voices spoke up simultaneously.
"Is she ok?" Edward and Esme.
I remained silent, still trying to reign in my anger.
"Jazz man, if you kill my baby sister before I meet her, so help me man, I'll rip you a new one!" Emmet threatened. All there voices sounded closer, it seemed they were now surrounding Alice who still held the phone. One of the perks of being a vampire was you never needed to use the speakerphone.
"Language please, Emmet," Carlisle chastened as Emmet gave him a subdued grunt in apology.
"So what if he had killed her? It's not like he can't replace her, humans are a dime a dozen," came Rosalie's particularly high pitched voice and for the first time I understood why Edward had such a difficult time being around her.
I couldn't control my growl this time and looked at Carlisle, hoping he could control what she said before I lost it again.
"Rosalie, be kind. That is no way to talk about your sister," Esme admonished but Rosalie could be really pig-headed when she wanted to be, which was most of the time anyway.
"That pathetic human is no sister of mine," she spat and I could hear a door bang, meaning she had left the house. I snarled in viciously. At least I wouldn't have to put up with her; I was nearing my wits' end.
I had always been particularly fond of Rose. Both Rose and Emmet were simple beings, and you could always trust them to be blunt about stating the truth. Beating around the bush was not their forte. You could give them the most complicated situation and they would break it down till only the root cause remained. In comparison to Edward or even Carlisle, their company was always soothing.
The difference in Rosalie and Emmet was their outlook towards life. While Emmet was carefree and fun loving, Rosalie held a particularly embittered perspective on life. She despised what we were and could never cope with the fact that she could never have a normal family.
I always took unholy glee in watching Rose put Edward in his place when he was becoming particularly unbearable with his guilt and self-loathing. Rosalie was the only one of us who was thick skinned enough to call Edward an 'emo chick' and give him a tongue lashing. Now I realize that being at the receiving end of Rosalie's wrath is never fun and if she wasn't careful, she'd be at the receiving of the Major's fury. Nobody could hold me responsible for my actions if the fool threatened my mate.
"I'm sorry, Jasper," Emmet apologized, this being one of the rare cases when he was serious.
"You don't need to be," I said. Nobody could control Rosalie, not even her mate.
"Jasper," came Edward's hesitant voice. "I was with Alice the entire evening, she never had a vision of you turning on Bella in your bloodlust. I know it is difficult to believe what she says, but in this case it is the truth. The only vision she had was of the three of you sitting in the living room, discussing the mating bond."
"I swear I would never try to hurt Bella deliberately," Alice insisted, now sounding hysterical. "I never saw anything like this happen, I would never let her get hurt, she's going to be my best friend, my sister," she sobbed as she started babbling incoherently. I could here Esme trying to console her and the phone on the other side changed hands. I could hear the wind whipping around before Edward spoke into the phone.
"She's really upset," he said. "I think you were a bit too tough with her," he added.
"She deserved it," I snapped. "I almost killed Bella, Edward! Do you have any idea what that feels like?" I asked before I snidely answered the rhetorical question. "No, of course you don't understand, given that you're unmated!"
I heard his breath hitch on the other end of the phone and felt a twinge of guilt. Carlisle eyed me reproachfully as he continued to hold the phone in his hands and I could feel how disappointed he was with me.
I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Edward, that was uncalled for," I apologized. I felt terrible to have hit him below the belt, especially since Alice's lies would never have been detected had it not been for his mind reading abilities. It was he who'd caught Alice's guilty thoughts and alerted the family of the situation. If it hadn't been for him, I'd still be in a phony relationship with Alice. I'd always owe him for the fact that he opened my eyes and that of the family to the truth.
"It's alright, Jasper. I understand that you're under tremendous strain, but what I said was also true. Alice never saw anything like this happen. She sat the entire afternoon looking for how things would go. She even saw you attack Carlisle, but that turned out ok," he said. "By the way, I told you Carlisle, you stood no chance if Jasper decided to attack you," he teased as Carlisle gave a very rare chortle.
"Don't laugh, Father. I had you pinned in just five moves the next time," I added with a smile, thankful that I hadn't truly hurt my father figure.
"Second time? When was this?" Edward asked, and Carlisle and I filled him in on the events of the afternoon.
"I still don't understand how Alice could have missed so much," Carlisle mused.
"I think I have an idea," came Edward's voice. "After Bella said she needed to go, Alice's visions went blank. When she searched the distant future, she still saw the two of you together, but she could see nothing in terms of what happened after the conversation. From what you told me, you were in far too much pain to make a conscious decision and Bella was indecisive about the two of you being mates."
"I think what Edward is saying has merit, Jasper," Carlisle stated. "When I felt that you were projecting, I got a call from Alice saying my future looked blurry to her. When I asked her what I should do, she had no idea of what was happening here. I think the problems in her visions regarding my future were because you had later attacked me in your bloodlust."
"Since you had stopped functioning and Bella was indecisive, it's possible that Alice never got a vision of what happened," he concluded.
I felt guilt overwhelm me. Alice had done nothing wrong, but I was still bitter from her deceit, I still couldn't bring myself to trust her. It was too soon, but I knew I needed to apologize.
"You're forgiven," she chirped out of nowhere and I felt my lips curl into a reluctant smile. In spite of of all the lies and deceptions, she was still a useful little Magic 8-ball.
"Also, you should stop worrying about Bella. She's going to fine and she'll wake up at 6:37 am tomorrow. But, you need to be prepared, she's going to be pissed about missing work today," she added happily. "And now, my dear brother, I see myself winning against you in a race towards home," she squeaked as I heard a whoosh signaling that she'd taken off without a warning.
"Evil pixie," Edward muttered before hanging up.
Both Carlisle and I wore matching grins as the phone call ended. I now knew that Carlisle was right when he said that things would go back to normal gradually.
I heard Carlisle sigh and found him smirking.
"Now, I think I'll have to call Esme so that she can direct me towards the completion of this impromptu renovation program that you started here," he said as I groaned, imagining Esme's reaction when he described the condition of the living room.
"You don't have to do it, I'll do it later on," I said. I didn't think any force in the world could pry me away from my Bella at the moment.
Carlisle seemed to understand my thoughts as he said, "Don't worry about it, son. Just take care of my precious child. I'll look after the rest."
I heard Carlisle setting things to rights downstairs as I buried my face in my mate's chocolate curls and inhaled her scent.
I was at peace.