Chapter 11

"Thank you for the help, Commander Shepard. I knew we could count on you."

"You're welcome, Admiral Hackett. Now if you don't have any other pressing issues, I need to go over some things with my crew before we reach our next mission." And by that, I mean I need to go get some goddamn sleep. Going toe-to-toe with that turret was fucking exhausting! Between that and destroying probably, what, a hundred drones, I've got shit left in the tank.

"Certainly, Commander. I took the liberty of having a bit of money transferred to your account. I know you took time out from your hunt for Saren to do this, and the Alliance appreciates it."

Fucking right. I like getting bonuses just for doing my job. Keep it coming, old man. "Feel free to contact me in the future if you have similar jobs you need doing, Admiral." If you're paying for it, I'll kick ass all day long.

"I will. Hackett out."

Shepard paused; making sure the Admiral was actually gone. Certain that he could speak freely again, he contacted Joker over the intercom. "Joker."

"What can I do you for?"

"You ever gonna treat me with respect, Flight Lieutenant?"

"Let me think on that." The pilot's voice oozed sarcasm. "Nope, probably not. That all you wanted, Commander?"

"No. What's our ETA to Artemis Tau?"

"Sometime between six and seven hours. Kinda depends on how much you want me to push my baby."

"I'm gonna just assume you mean the Normandy, and that you didn't sneak a kid onto the most advanced warship in the Alliance Navy."

"You just keep right on assuming that, Commander."

Shepard managed to chuckle at Joker, despite his exhaustion. "Let's see what she's really capable of, then, Lieutenant. Get us there as fast as you can, without blowing up my ship."

"Whose ship, Commander?"

This time, Shepard could only muster up an eye roll at the helmsman's quip. "My ship, Joker. Unless you'd like to try to wrest control of the Normandy away from someone certified in ICT hand-to-hand?"

"No need to get violent, Commander. The Normandy's your girl; I'm just the guy who gets her off," the pilot waited a beat, then added, "of planets." Shepard heard the pilot chuckle over the intercom.

Shepard shook his head at Joker's terrible joke. "I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that, Joker. Let me know when we're two hours out."

"Suit yourself, Commander."

Shepard walked over to his terminal and pulled up his message inbox, which still displayed the text from Bethany that had pissed him off so much before the Luna mission. As he read over it again, he decided that his previous thoughts might have been a little harsh towards his girlfriend. Fuck. I can't tell if it's just because I'm really fucking tired or what, but she makes a little bit of sense. And she does kind of apologize for what she said, even if she says she isn't. I guess I can ease off, a little. I remember how pissed off I was at everything and everyone when I found out how and why my parents were killed. She probably feels the same, and I was just the closest person available for venting. Hell, maybe she only felt comfortable saying that shit to me because we're close. Fucking women. They need to get rid of some of that bullshit they teach in school and replace it with a "What the fuck to do when a woman says 'this' to you" course. I'd take that fucking class in a heartbeat. Probably fail, but that'd just give me another go-round at it.

Great. So now that I've decided to forgive her for being a gigantic, fire-breathing, fucking bitch, what do I do about talking to her? I don't know what the Alliance wants or is letting get out about the action on Eden Prime. Oh wait, who gives a shit? I'm a Spectre now! I can say whatever the hell I want. Alright, I'll throw her a bone; try to appease her with some info. If she flips out on me again, though, I swear to Christ I'm gonna make Joker drop me off at Arcturus so I can find her, kick her ass, and throw her out a fucking airlock. I guess I'll send her a message and set something up.

He tried a few different options before settling on something direct.

"Beth,

I can't have a conversation like the one you probably want to have while we're out on a mission. I have to stay focused on the job at hand. But next time I'm on the Citadel, I'll make sure to set aside some time for a vid-chat with you. It probably isn't exactly what you want, but it's the best I can do.

Regards,

Spike"

There. That's reasonable enough. A little bit of "fuck you" got through there, but I'm okay with that. Serves her right for being such a bitch earlier. Now fuck everything else, I'm getting some goddamn sleep.

Three and a half hours later, Joker's voice brought Shepard out of an uneasy sleep. "ETA at the Artemis Tau Cluster in 2 hours, Commander."

"Thanks, Joker." I don't know how much more shitty sleep I can take. I know how to go without sleep; I've been there and done that more than a few times. And god knows I love a good night's sleep when I can get it, preferably with a good-looking woman sharing my bed (not that that's happened in fucking forever. Too damn long, Spike!). But waking up more tired than when I went to sleep, as if I spent the whole time actually fighting, instead of just watching violence happen? That shit is unacceptable. Alright, calm down and pull yourself together, Spike. You've got a job to do. Shepard spent a few minutes thinking about how to best use the time until the Normandy reached Artemis Tau, before he remembered that he needed to have a team meeting.

"Joker. Get the ground team to meet me in the comm room in fifteen minutes. Tell them their presence is required, not optional."

"Will do, Commander."

Shepard got up and started to walk to the door, stretching his body out along the way. Suddenly he stopped as a sharp pain stabbed through his torso. Shit. I forgot to go down to Chakwas and have her take a look at where I almost got hit by a rocket. Oh well. If it was really bad, I'da remembered. We'll see how it feels when we get back from wherever we end up going next. If it's still twinging, I'll have her run a check. For now, though, I need a quick shower to wake the fuck up.

Fifteen minutes later, Garrus, Wrex, Tali, and Ashley were sitting in the comm room, looking expectantly at Shepard. Less than a minute later, the door opened and Kaidan came running into the room. Stopping in front of the Commander, he snapped into a rigid salute.

"Was fifteen minutes not long enough for you, Lieutenant?" Shepard waved in the general direction of his forehead, and continued. "At ease, and take a seat so we can get started."

Kaidan moved quickly to one of the open chairs and sat down. "I apologize for my tardiness, sir. I was in the med-bay with Chakwas. Migraines were flaring up again."

"From your implants? L2's, right?"

"Yes sir. I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't." Shepard threatened, but there was no real bite in his voice. "Now, I'm sure you're all wondering why I interrupted whatever it is you do between missions with this meeting."

Various nods confirmed Shepard's statement.

"Well, it was brought to my attention recently that not everybody here went to the same school, so to speak." Looking up, Shepard spotted several quizzical glances at his statement. Sighing at his abysmal attempt at humor, he remembered that not everyone could see inside his head and realize how truly funny he was. Probably a good thing, too. I bet what I got runnin' around inside my skull would make most of these people cry themselves to sleep. Forever, even. But I'm supposed to be talking to them, not myself. "What I mean, is, not all of us present went through Alliance basic training. This means that not everybody uses or understands the same nonverbal battlefield communication. We need to standardize the one we use. So that's why we're having this here meeting of the minds."

"Why bother, Commander? Anybody who doesn't understand should figure it out or get left behind." Ashley spoke up as soon as Shepard stopped speaking. "The Alliance uses basic hand signals. Any moron should be able to understand." Her face twisted into a sneer as she glanced pointedly at Garrus and Tali.

"Ashley." Shepard's voice carried an unspoken warning. "The Alliance's methods may be a no-brainer to you, but you grew up Alliance. Not everybody did. And I would much rather make sure everybody's on the same page here, than get myself, or somebody else, shot all fulla holes because someone didn't understand what this means." As he spoke, he raised up a closed fist, the back of his hand facing behind him.

"Then maybe you should make sure the people following you aren't stupid." Ashley's retort was out before she even thought about it.

"That's enough, Williams!" Shepard's voice was suddenly loud, deep, and full of authority. He winced for a brief moment as his outburst caused a sudden pain to shoot through his chest. He lowered his voice, but made sure every word still rolled out of his mouth with menace. "If you have a problem with what I do, and who I do it with, you can come talk to me in private. But you will not insult your colleagues in front of them like this. In fact, you'd be better off refraining from insulting them at all, because everyone in this room is here for a reason. Everyone here has at least one unique characteristic that is gonna help me pop a cap right in Saren's brain box. And if you can't get that through your head, you will no longer be welcome on my ship."

A stunned silence filled the room when he finished. He stared at the top of Ashley's head, waiting for her to raise her eyes to his. For a long minute, she couldn't bring herself to do so. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she met his gaze. "Do you understand, Chief Williams?"

"Yes, sir." She said quietly.

"Good." Shepard nodded and turned to look at the rest of the group. "Then you and Kaidan can help me explain some of this stuff. Some of this might be better explained via demonstration, and I'm certainly not gonna make a fool of myself." He finished his statement with a grin, trying to break the tension. It worked, as Kaidan forced out a laugh and everyone's shoulders relaxed from their tense position.

The next forty-five minutes passed relatively quickly, as the team listened to each other and asked questions, everyone trying hard to show themselves that they were worthy of a spot on Shepard's team. Finally, after Joker notified them that they were an hour out from the Artemis Tau cluster, Shepard broke up the discussion.

"Alright everybody. I think this was a valuable waste of our time. And if anybody disagrees, too damn bad." He smiled, making sure everyone knew he was kidding. "For now, though, I have to go talk to Joker, and I don't want you all talking behind my back. You're dismissed."

Everyone got up, and moved towards the door as a group. Tali walked a bit slower, trying to get closer to Shepard, who was bringing up the rear. "What did Doctor Chakwas say?" She asked him quietly, stopping him so they were the only two left in the room.

Her question seemed to knock him out of some deep thought. "Huh? What did the doc say about what?"

"I just wanted to know if there were any negative consequences from your duel with that heavy cannon back on Luna." She said, her voice heavy with concern. "I saw you grimace when you were, um, talking to Ashley."

"Oh." Shepard turned his face away. "I, er, forgot to go down and see her. I feel fine, so there was no reason to go bother her."

"Fine? How can you be fine? You fought a heavy turret, by yourself, and somehow didn't die. The first thing you should have done is go have a doctor confirm my not-very-detailed battlefield scan." She seemed completely exasperated at his lackadaisical attitude. "And I know I saw you wince!"

"I trust your judgment, Tali. Besides, I know my own body. When there's something wrong, it lets me know." He smiled at her. "Pain's nothing new to me."

"I still could be wrong, though, Commander. You're too important to the galaxy to risk your health on my 'diagnosis.'" And without you, I don't know what I would be doing. So, you are too important to me to die. "I don't have any real medical training. Not like Doctor Chakwas. And," she poked him in the chest and watched him wince away, "if that didn't hurt, then why did you cringe?"

"I never said it didn't hurt." Shepard took a step back to get out of her reach. "I'm allowed to bruise, aren't I?"

"So it's just a bruise?" Tali said sarcastically. "Let me see it then." She took a step towards him, getting within arm's reach again.

Shit. Shepard tried to think quickly. I'm a patchwork-fucking quilt of bruises thanks to that damn cannon. If she sees that, she's gonna throw a hissy fit about going and seeing Chakwas. And I am too damn tired for a hissy fit. There's gotta be a way outta this. Think, damnit! Maybe if I can distract her with something else, she'll let me go. That's complete shit, but it's all I've got. "Wow, Tali, already trying to get me undressed? I never thought you'd be so . . . forward." He winked at her as he spoke, and reached forward to grab one of her hands and placed it on his waist, where his shirt was tucked into the waistband of his pants.

She yanked her hand back like he'd just stuck it in a pot of scalding-hot water. "Um, no, I mean, I, uh, I don't. . ." She stammered, trying to think of what to say while she blushed deeply underneath her helmet. I didn't mean it like that. Of course, I want to see what his body looks like underneath his clothes, who wouldn't? But I'm not trying to do so now. This took her train of thought in another, less helpful direction. His body felt so hard when I touched him just now, though. I can just imagine how his torso probably looks like sculpted steel, and probably feels like it too. I bet it feels like running a hand over the walls of the Rayya, only warmer and so much more-

She mentally shook herself. This is not helping. You are supposed to be making sure he's okay, not daydreaming about what he looks like naked. Save that for another time, if it must be done at all. Realizing he was still staring at her, waiting for an answer from her, she felt her blush renew. Thank the Ancestors he couldn't hear what was going on in my head just now. I sound like a little girl with a crush! "No, um, never mind, Commander. I'll see you later." She turned and practically ran from the room.

Ha ha ha. Score one for Spike! She's really cute when she gets all flustered. And I would bet good money that her face was as red as a tomato under there. Or whatever color quarians turn when they blush. I wonder if she's always like that around "adult" topics? Maybe I'll wheedle her a bit next time I talk to her. See if I can't find out. Thinking about talking to her again, he remembered her words in the Mako while they were on Luna. Damnit! I forgot to ask what that "bosh'tet" word meant. I guess that's just one more thing I'll have to remember to ask her about another time. Still grinning at the way she had reacted when her hand had been on his waist, he walked out of the comm room and headed for the bridge.

Walking past the CIC, he nodded to Pressley who had looked up at his passing. As he finally reached the cockpit, he watched the pilot mutter to himself while the purple light of Artemis Tau shimmered outside the window. "You okay, Joker?" He asked as he decided to make his presence known.

"Crap, Commander!" Joker jumped at the sound of Shepard's voice. "How can somebody as butch as you be so damn quiet? My heart's now trying to beat its way out of my chest. So, thanks a lot!"

Shepard chuckled as he watched the pilot pat his chest as though trying to calm a racing heart. "Years of practice, Mr. Moreau. That, and some instructors who planned nasty surprises if you made too much noise." Shepard shook his head, remembering. "Be glad you weren't there."

"I'll take your word for it."

"So why were you muttering just now? Finally cracking up?"

"Har har. Anybody ever tell you you're a barrel of laughs, Commander?"

"Not recently."

"Well, I can see why." The helmsman laughed when he saw Shepard's wry grin out of the corner of his eye. "But I'm picking up some weird signals coming out of Artemis Tau. Seems like it might be geth, but I'm not sure. I'm trying to clean it up, but it's not cooperating."

"Can you track it?"

Joker turned in his seat to look at the Commander, before rolling his eyes with deliberate slowness. "Uh, duh, Commander."

"Cute, Joker." Shepard shook his head at his helmsman's antics. "Where's it coming from, then?"

"Well, we're getting a bit of chatter from all four systems in this cluster, but most of it's coming from Knossos."

Shepard moved over to one of the co-pilot's seats and pulled up a star chart for that system. "Knossos it is, then. Take us in fast, Joker." He perused the chart quickly and added an addendum to his prior order. "This system has two asteroid belts. Think you can drop us out of FTL and find a quiet spot just on the edge of the outer belt?"

"Of course, Commander." Joker's voice was arrogant, but not overly so.

Shepard looked over and noticed that even though his voice was serious, the pilot still had a smile on his face. Looking up, he noticed that the shimmering purple light of Artemis Tau had been replaced with the flickering blue and red of FTL travel. A few minutes passed in silence with Shepard thinking about who he was going to bring with him to whatever planet they ended up on, and Joker paying attention to actually flying the Normandy.

Whoever I bring is gonna depend on where we're going. I don't think it'll be the gas giant, because I can't see anybody surviving down there. I really hope it isn't Phaistos or Armeni, either. We don't have the stuff onboard to deal with 550ºC heat or -200ºC cold, and I don't know what we'd do. Hot as fuck or cold as balls, either way, we're screwed. So we can go planet-side on Zakros or Therum. I think it's gonna be Therum though. I know there are some Prothean ruins there, even if corporations have looted them all. Ha, just like those ExoGeni bastards on Feros. Part of it is that Zakros if covered in slush, which would make walking and fighting a pain in the fucking ass. Come on, Therum! Be nice to daddy.

Moments later, the Normandy dropped out of FTL. "Stealth systems engaged, and we're hanging out, literally, in the outer asteroid belt."

"Nice job, Joker." Shepard nodded approvingly. "I knew I kept you around for something."

"You're welcome." The pilot said smugly.

"Are you able to get a more precise fix on the geth transmission?"

"Yep. Still can't translate it, though."

"Work on that when I'm not around, Joker. Where are we going?"

"Therum." He said simply, pouting a little.

Yes. Winner winner chicken mother-fucking dinner! "Alright, I'm gonna go get in the Mako. When I give the word, take us in and drop us as close to the bulk of the signals as you can." Shepard got up and started walking towards the back of the ship, quickly losing himself in thought to the point where he didn't hear Joker's sullen "Bye."

Damnit, I forgot to figure out who I'm actually gonna take with me down there. Since it's geth, I guess I'll bring Tali. Hmmm. Who else? I'm not bringing Ashley after her little tantrum in the comm room, and I don't wanna bring Kaidan since his implants are slowing him down. So Wrex or Garrus then? I don't know anything about the terrain. I really fucking hate going in blind. You never really appreciate intel until you don't have any, then you miss it like your mommy's tits. Ah, fuck it. Since I don't know what kind of a reception I'm gonna get, I'll bring Garrus. He knows how to be diplomatic and shit. Plus, he can shoot stuff pretty good if "negotiations" with this T'Soni chick don't go well. Garrus and Tali it is. Might be the makings of a modern dream team. Shepard, Zorah, and Vakarian: ass-kickers extraordinaire. I kinda like the sound of that.