Finally, an update! Thank you all so much for your never-ending patience. I promise I am updating as quickly as I am able. Hope you like this chapter. I swear I have never written so many sexually suggestive comments in a fic ever!
"Morning everyone." Emily smiled serenely as she carefully placed two coffees, a pastry and finally her tote bag on her desk. As expected, it didn't take long for her beloved team members to react to her unexpected presence.
"Emily! Why the hell didn't you tell me you were coming in today?" Morgan leapt up from his desk and was by her side in a flash.
The slender brunette smiled as she returned his hug. "Hey Morgan."
"Emily. It's good to see you." Reid embraced her somewhat awkwardly, but his wide smile warmed her.
"Hey Reid. So have you been keeping Morgan in line in my absence?"
"Finally decided to invest in a riding crop and it seems to be working. Morgan's rather like a prized stallion." Reid lowered his voice. "At least he seems to think he is. It's very puzzling."
Emily stared at her younger colleague in surprise, then burst out laughing, almost drowning out Morgan's 'haha, very funny' comment. Finally recovering, she clapped the doctor on the back. "Nice one, Reid. Although I personally won't have used the riding crop since it has some particular connotations." She winked at him as she sat down on her swivel chair. Boy, was she exhausted. She and Hotch had talked for hours at her apartment last night.
"What do you mean?" Reid frowned.
Now it was Morgan's turn to laugh. "Let me guess. You still haven't read 50 Shades yet, have you?"
The younger man shot him an evil eye and Emily tried to smother a smile. Her little boy was growing up and starting to hold his own.
"I don't need to read that book," he said the last as if it was a dirty word, "to know what a riding crop can be used for. And for the record, if that is in the book, it's such a cliché. Even I know of better things to use."
"Oh, do tell." Morgan smiled disbelievingly. "I didn't think you'd be the type who liked feeling pain, Reid."
"Who said I was the one on the receiving end?" retorted Reid as he returned to his desk, leaving Morgan gaping after him. The younger man cast Emily a mischievous look when he saw her raised eyebrows. "Don't think you know everything about me, Morgan."
She shook her head, grinning. "Ah, it's good to be back at work. I'd almost forgotten how entertaining you guys are. Way better than day time tv."
"Don't think this conversation is over, Reid," called out Morgan. He leaned against her desk. "Speaking of work, where is our fearless leader?" He gave her a teasing look. "Or did you tire him out last night?"
Emily shot him a WTF look. "I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Unless you mean when I asked him to suck ..." she paused for a significant period of time, watching as her colleague's mouth parted. "...the dust and dirt from the carpet with the hoover. I haven't vacuumed in such a long time and he was sweet to offer to help." She fought the urge to snicker when Morgan shot her an annoyed look.
"You're an evil woman."
She gave her best witch cackle while imagining Lana Parrilla's evil smile in her mind. Hey, not a bad effort for her first go. Thanks Lana.
"So you expect me to believe Hotch spent the night vacuuming." Morgan looked challengingly at her.
"I suppose you were expecting some other type of hoovering," said Emily sarcastically as she started to delete the emails in her inbox.
"What's this about hoovering?" Garcia's chirpy voice projected over her shoulder. "Are we talking about dust sucking or dick sucking? Hey peaches." She leaned down to give her friend a hug.
"Pen!" Emily shook her head in laughter. "Good thing it's only 7.30 and no one else is around. Oh look, you've made Reid blush."
The trio glanced over, and sure enough, Reid was bright red. "Seriously guys, I wish you won't discuss Emily and Hotch's sexual proclivities. It's completely inappropriate in the workplace."
"Thank you, Reid. Although I feel as if I should correct something. We do not have sexual proclivities at the present moment because we are not engaging in any bedroom type activities regularly." She paused for effect. "A fact I plan to change as soon as it is physically feasible."
Morgan grinned. "Let me guess. Moet and Chandon, candles and a sexy negligee."
"That is so nineties, Morgan. Or is that your M.O.? I'm thinking more basic. Like coffee, a cruller and a desk. And who even does candles any more? Although the hot wax could be fun," she said, sounding thoughtful. Damn, it was so good to be back.
Her colleague looked suspiciously at her. "No way Hotch would be into that."
"How would you know what Hotch would be into?" This from Garcia. "Dontcha know still waters run deep and all that jazz? It's always the quiet ones." She winked at Reid and Emily chuckled when the doctor rolled his eyes and blushed simultaneously.
"That's true. Just think about JJ and Will. There's a reason why she fell for a detective," said Emily distractedly when she saw a strangely titled email. What in the world?
"What are you talking about?"
Garcia snickered at Morgan's puzzled expression. "Gunplay babe."
"WHAT? No fricking way! JJ and Will?" Her BFF looked flabbergasted. "What the hell is with all of you and your crazy ass sexual fantasies?"
"You haven't even heard about Rossi and his food fetish," said Garcia sagely. "And FYI, my sex life is completely normal."
"Awesome," muttered Morgan. "Now I'm thinking of Rossi and an apple pie. Sheez. And hey, what sex life? You dating someone and you haven't told me?" He frowned.
"Oh no. Way too much emotional commitment. I see a sexual surrogate and he gets me off. It's great."
Emily couldn't remember the last time Morgan was at a loss for words. She was tempted to continue with the ribbing but she had more important things on her mind. "What's this email about? Morgan's ass versus Anderson's ass. Vote now?"
"Oh that." Garcia giggled. "Morgan was crowing about how his ass was The. Most. Perfect. Ass in the whole BAU. JJ and I disagreed and said Anderson's was better. So Morgan bet that he would get more votes than Anderson. Hence the ass-off."
"What!" Emily spluttered in laughter. "Geez, I leave you guys for three weeks and your minds all descend into the gutter."
"C'mon, Prentiss. You're going to vote for me right?" Morgan got up and turned around, his jean-clad backside barely a feet from her face. He even lifted his shirt up so she could have what she assumed was the 'full' effect. "This is the most perfect ass you've seen, right? I could show you my naked butt if that would help. Cos I've got a g-string in my locker somewhere."
"Yikes. No thanks." Emily tried to ignore the loud sounds of hilarity from Garcia's direction. "I get enough nightmares from my cases."
"Emily, you really think Anderson's ass is better than mine?" Morgan sounded seriously serious.
"Um … I can't say I've really thought about it," she said diplomatically and truthfully. "Now, will you please take your rear end out of my line of sight?"
Morgan finally turned around, much to her relief. Her eyes were beginning to burn. And not in a nice way. "What, you've suddenly stopped appreciating the male form? Come on, whose ass is the best?"
Emily rolled her eyes. "For goodness sake, if you really want to know, both your butts are fair, but it's your Unit Chief's derriere that really rocks my boat. Okay?"
Reid and Garcia burst into laughter at the look of frustration on Morgan's face. "Got you there, Morgan," said Reid.
"Hotch's ass! You're joking, Prentiss!"
"I never joke about the form of a male form. Guess you didn't notice Hotch's glutes in his bike shorts. Let me tell you that those charcoal slacks cover up a hell of a lot of yummy … well, boy things." Emily glanced at her watch. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to his office to wait for him." She stood and picked up the coffees and pastry from her desk. "I've got a date with Hotch and his desk." She winked at her friends, then strode out without waiting for their comments.
"Ok, I'm going," said Garcia, turning to walk away, "'cos here comes the Chief."
The two male profilers watched as their supervisor walked up the stairs to his office, an expectant smile on his face.
"Emily's such a bloody joker." Morgan walked back to his desk. "Like Hotch would ever get it on in his office."
"Oh really?" Reid was gazing at their supervisor's office with wide eyes. "Then why did Hotch just shut his door and the blinds?"
"No fricking way!" Morgan followed his gaze. "I'm sure they're just talking."
They both jumped when the unmistakable shape of a body landed against the blinds, flattening it against the window. Two large hands pressed against the blinds on either side of the form.
"Talking. Well, I suppose that's one way of describing it," said Reid slowly as the blinds trembled violently.
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