Chapter 16

"Hey Tali."

"Hello, Shepard." She turned away from the terminal she was working on and looked at him. He looks tired. I'm surprised Doctor Chakwas let him leave the med-bay already. "I'm a little surprised to see you up already. I expected Doctor Chakwas's treatment to keep you bed-ridden for a lot longer than this, to be honest."

"Well, you know how it is." Shepard shrugged her concern away. "But I don't want to talk about me, I can do that anytime. I came down here to talk about you."

"Well, uhm, thank you, Shepard." Tali felt herself get flustered. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Erm," Shit. I shoulda come up with something before I got over here. Now I feel like an idiot. You sound like one, too, Spike. Say something, dumbass! "Well, I wanted to see if you were sleeping better? I know last time we talked, you were having trouble because it was so quiet down here."

"Oh, yes! I am, thank you very much. I've started to get used to it. Now I don't know how I'll sleep when I get back to the Flotilla."

"I'm sure you'll adapt, Tali. You're brilliant, so I bet there's nothing you can't do." Eurgh. That sounded all kindsa stupid. Maybe I shoulda taken Chakwas's advice. Oh well, too late now.

Tali flushed deeply beneath her helmet. "Thank you, Shepard. It means a lot to hear you say that."

"I'm serious, Tali. Engineer Adams actually just stopped me to tell me that you've been a huge help to him." And managed to almost get himself dropkicked into space by not being clear that he was complimenting you.

"That's very nice of him." Tali said, glancing over at the older man.

Shepard watched her turn towards Adams, and had to fight, once again, to suppress the irrational urge to go toss Adams headfirst into the drive core. What the hell is wrong with me? He's my chief engineer, for Christ's sakes. Maybe I'm more tired than I thought, if I'm acting this possessive of something- someone, rather- that isn't even mine. Fuck. "So, Tali," he said, trying to turn her attention back to himself, "tell me more about growing up on the flotilla."

"What do you want to know, Shepard?"

"Um. . ." He thought quickly, trying to come up with a valid question. "Do you have any brothers and sisters?"

"No. On the flotilla, each family is only allowed to have one child. Of course, if the population suddenly goes into a decline, that rule can be temporarily lifted. But the Conclave hasn't had to take such action in over a century."

"Huh. I never would have guessed that." He digested her answer for a bit longer. "Wait, what's the Conclave?"

"It's our governing body. Representatives are elected from each ship, and they work together to make decisions that affect the entire flotilla."

"So quarians are democratic? Did not know that."

"We are." She nodded her assent. "But we also have a body called the Admiralty Board. They oversee and direct any military issues that arise. Also, they have the power to overturn any decision made by the Conclave."

"See, now that doesn't seem very democratic."

"The Admiralty Board can only take such a drastic action once, and then all members have to resign their posts, and a new Board is selected."

"Alright, that makes more sense. Any other interesting tidbits about the Admiralty Board or the Conclave?"

"Not really." She shrugged, then thought of something he might want to know. "Although my father is one of the admirals on the Board."

"That's cool!" Shepard said, before he noticed that she didn't seem particularly happy about it. "Or, it's not cool?"

"I guess it is. It's just difficult, being the daughter of an admiral. Everyone expects so much from me. And if I don't come home with a good pilgrimage gift, it will reflect poorly on my father."

"He wouldn't like that, I assume?"

"No. He's always expected the very best from me, but he's always been a little, distant? Detached?" She shook her head. "I know he loves me, but we've never really talked much, and after my mother died, it got worse."

Shepard reached out and put his hand on her shoulder, then squeezed it once, gently. "I'm sorry to hear that, Tali. All of it. I know it's hard to lose a parent."

Tali just luxuriated in the warmth of his touch, her eyes closing slowly as she felt a wave of peace wash over her. Then she suddenly stood bolt upright and her eyes snapped open as his words sank in. "Oh, Keelah, Shepard, I meant to apologize! I was talking to Joker after you and I talked before the Luna mission and he told me about your family and why you had to grow up on Arcturus and that you were all alone and I'm so sorry! I should have tried to be more tactful or just not asked about it and please forgive me!"

"Whoa whoa whoa Tali, slow down." She's so freaking adorable when she's all nervous and she rattles off a dozen words in like three seconds. And I bet she is the loveliest shade of- well, whatever color quarians get when they're nervous. Damn that stupid shield in front of her face, I want to see what she looks like! "Really, Tali, it's not that big of a deal. I'm used to people asking about my family, I was just totally exhausted and didn't want to go through all that right then." Maybe if I put my hand on her arm, that will comfort her. Right, I should do that. Purely to comfort her. The fact that I'm having trouble keeping my hands to myself has nothing to do with wanting to touch her in comfort. Shepard was unsuccessful in convincing himself of the purity of his motives, but he nevertheless reached out his left hand and lightly touched Tali's upper arm. Damn this suit is soft. I know it has to be sturdy, what with the whole high-risk-of-death thing, but how do they make it feel so nice? Maybe it only feels nice because Tali feels nice? Without realizing what he was doing, he started to run his hand up and down her upper arm, roving from shoulder to elbow and back again.

Tali's heart went even faster at his touch than it had when she was trying to string together an apology. My heart feels like it wants to beat its way out of my chest. And his hands feel so good stroking my arm like that. I wish we could just stand like this forever. Him rubbing my arm, then maybe I could reach out with my other hand and slide my fingers up his back, all the way up to his broad shoulders, and then I could squeeze his- Hearing her name from his lips pulled her back to reality. Keelah, what was I thinking about? She thought in a panic.

"Um, Tali? Are you okay?" Shepard's voice was concerned, and he started to pull his hand away. "I'm not offending you or anything, am I?"

She quickly reached up to stop his hand from leaving her arm, but thought better of it at the last second. Anxious to cover her unexplained movement, she scurried to come up with an answer. "Uh, no, Shepard. It's fine. I was just, erm, thinking about the Migrant Fleet, and got a little bit lost in the memory. You weren't offending me, though. Not at all."

"Oh. Well, that's good." Then he remembered she had said something else. "And I'm not all alone, technically. I have a girlfriend who's also in the Alliance." Shit. Why'd I say that? Does she really need to know I have a girlfriend? Fuck!

"Well that's, um, good to know, Shepard." Why didn't I think about that earlier? Of course he has a girlfriend, he's magnificent. At least she isn't on this ship where she could see me drooling over him. Wait, she isn't on this ship, is she? It's not Ashley, is it? That would be terrible! "Um, you said she's in the Alliance?" Tali waited until Shepard nodded, before she continued. "She isn't, uh, on this ship, is she?"

"What? No, of course not." Shepard had to bite down on his instinct to laugh. "The Alliance doesn't permit relationships within the same unit or on the same ship. They'll occasionally make an exception for a married couple, but that situation's really rare. She's stationed on Arcturus right now, working on becoming a fully-qualified engineer."

"Well, that's nice." Tali lied. But thank goodness it isn't Ashley. She scares me sometimes. I wonder if he likes his girlfriend because she's an engineer. If that's the case, maybe I have a chance? She quickly dispelled that notion. No I don't. They would have to split up for that to be possible, and that can't happen. She would have to be insane to leave him, and he probably doesn't want to be alone again. Also, I'm a quarian. So no human would be caught dead with a quarian. To say nothing of how one of us would likely die, just from a single unprotected kiss. She sighed.

Shepard noticed that her mood seemed to have taken a turn for the worse. Uh, what now? Do I try to cheer her up? Do I just leave? Do I wrap her up in a gigantic hug, give her ass a little squeeze, and tell her she can be my honey on the Normandy? What the fuck was that last one all about? Christ, Spike, go get some fucking rest before you do something you'll regret. Deciding to take his own advice, he made to leave. "Right, well, then, it was good talking to you, Tali. I'm sure I'll talk to you again soon. I should go upstairs and check on the rest of the crew before getting everything ready to dock with the Citadel."

"Okay, Shepard." She smiled wistfully as she watched him turn and walk away. He's got so much muscle! Even if I can never be with him, at least I get to see him every day. His "girlfriend" doesn't get to do that. Mmm. I could watch him walk away all day long. Well, actually, I'd like to see him walking towards me, too, but the view is just as good this way. He looks very tired, though. Maybe I'll ask Doctor Chakwas if he was really ready to leave the med-bay. No, then I'll look like I'm trying to be nosy or controlling, and I don't want anyone to think that. I guess I'll just keep watching him. "Come back anytime, Commander." She murmured as he finally disappeared from view.

Shepard turned the corner and stepped into the elevator, hitting the button to begin its long, torturous ascent. Alright, so I should talk to Kaidan and Liara, then I can try to find a gun range I can commandeer on the Citadel. Damnit, seeing Liara means passing through Chakwas's lair. I'm sure she's got that look of doom all queued up, just waiting for me. Fuck! It wouldn't be right to talk to everybody but Liara, so I'm just gonna have to man up and deal with it. Maybe I'll just do that first, then talk to Kaidan, then go hide in my cabin. Yeah, I'll do that. Just don't make eye contact with the Doc, Spike, and you'll make it through unscathed. Mostly. Finally! This fucking elevator will be the death of me someday.

Shepard exited the elevator and turned left to head for the med-bay. Think positive thoughts, stare straight ahead, and don't let her see weakness. Or smell it. Or taste it. Although that would be really fucking weird. Yeah, above all, don't let Chakwas lick you? How in the hell did I go from wanting to talk to Liara to worrying about Chakwas licking me? Jesus, I'm fucked up. I really need to get some sleep. Shepard stalked through the doors into the med-bay, and strolled right past the evil glare from Doctor Chakwas.

"Hello, Liara!" He said with forced cheerfulness.

"Commander!" Liara stood up from her chair with such force that it almost fell. Shepard quickly stepped forward to catch it and just managed to keep it upright. "I'm sorry, Commander. You startled me!"

"Sorry about that, Liara. And please, call me Shepard."

"Very well, Shepard. Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?"

"I was hoping to pick up where we left off last night. If I remember correctly, we were talking about the sorry state of my armor?"

"Yes, we were."

"Right-o. So while we were trying to fight our way to you, the geth massed up right outside the entrance to your ruins. Long story short, we had to fight off about a dozen of the bastards, and their pet Colossus."

"A Colossus, Commander? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the term."

"It's what we've started calling the really big ones. You know the Mako, down in the hold?" She nodded. "Well, a Colossus is about the same width, probably three-quarters as long, and twice as tall. Fires a great big blue ball of death referred to as a siege pulse. One of those hits you, and you're done. As in, dead." He explained, seeing her questioning look. "Oh! And I almost forgot: they're also equipped with some sort of high-powered machine gun. Normally we blow them up with the Mako, but we had to fight the one on Therum on foot. This in turn led to my armor taking one helluva beating. But we got to you in time, which is really all that matters."

"Oh my." The asari seemed shocked. "I'm very glad you rescued me, Commander. Although, it is too bad that the Prothean ruins were destroyed. There was so much to be learned."

"Ugh. You sound just like the Council." Shepard pitched his voice up. "Well Commander, we're of course glad that you saved Miss T'Soni, but why'd you break the Prothean toys? Don't you realize how valuable those were?" He brought his voice back to its normal timbre. "Blah blah blah. I told Joker to cut the feed right about then, because I was tired and I hurt all over from that damn Colossus."

"You hung up on the Council?!" Liara was shocked. I have never even heard of someone doing something so disrespectful to the leaders of our galactic civilization. They must think the Commander is very valuable, to allow such blatant disregard for common etiquette. It is, interesting, though. What kind of man feels comfortable enough to ignore the most powerful beings in the galaxy? "I must admit, Commander-"

"Shepard."

"Yes, of course. As I was saying, Shepard, despite your rather, brusque, mannerisms, I find you very intriguing."

"Oh yeah?" Shepard smiled at her. "Is it me you find 'intriguing,' or the Prothean visions I've got dancing around in my head?"

"Both, Shepard?" She sounded unsure. "I merely got a glimpse of the visions, but it nearly overwhelmed me. I wonder what kind of mind can stand up to such a powerful onslaught?"

"It sounds like you want to dissect me in a lab somewhere." He chuckled.

"No! Of course not!" Liara said, flustered. "I only meant that you would be an interesting specimen for an in-depth study. Wait, that sounds even worse." She buried her head in her hands while Shepard just stood there and laughed quietly, trying not to jar his chest too much.

"It's okay, Liara. I was just joking."

"A joke? Oh, by the Goddess, I'm making such a spectacle of myself. This is why I prefer isolated dig sites."

"You'll get the hang of it, don't worry. Maybe you just need more practice with being around people."

"Perhaps you are right." She agreed, although her tone of voice indicated her skepticism.

Alright, I've been yakking with her long enough. I oughta get going so I can get a little rest at some point before we hit the Citadel. "Well, it was good talking to you Liara, but I've gotta get going. We'll talk more later, alright?"

"I'd like that, Shepard." She smiled at him, and got a smile in return before he turned and marched out of her room.

He once again walked straight past Doctor Chakwas, feeling her burning glare on his back the whole way. Maybe I should poke fun at her a little, ask her if she can give me a little something for the pain. Nah, she'd probably drug the crap out of me and lock me in the med-bay, strapped to a bed. Better to just avoid pissing off the already-angry doctor. He walked out of the med-bay, and headed for where Kaidan stood working. "Hey, Kaidan. Busy?"