Chapter 18

Shepard walked up behind Joker and waited for the helmsman to look up at him. Finally, his patience was rewarded. "Hey Commander."

"Hey right back, Joker."

"Whatcha need?"

"Ship wide intercom, if you don't mind."

"Well, I guess I'm not toooo busy to do that." The two men shared a smile, and then Joker reached forward and tapped a section of his control panel. "You're on, Commander."

"Attention crew. This is Shepard. As you have no doubt heard from our peerless helmsman, we'll be arriving at the Citadel in a few hours. Once we dock, you'll have three days of shore leave. Before you leave the ship, make sure to check in with Navigator Pressly. He can tell you when you have to work over the next three days. The rest of the time is yours." Shepard took a deep breath before continuing, and when he spoke again his voice was harsher and carried a note of warning.

"Keep in mind, however, that if you get into trouble, I won't be coming to help you. You won't get any bail money from me, or a good word with C-Sec. I'll tell them to keep you there as long as they want. And you will no longer be welcome on my ship should you find yourself no longer a ward of the state. So have fun, but don't fuck up. Or this'll be the last shore leave you all ever see. Ground team; meet me in the CIC when we dock. We have some business to take care of, so I need you to be in full gear. Shepard out." He made a slashing motion across his throat to Joker, who reached over and deactivated the intercom.

"Sheesh Commander, hard-ass much?" Joker asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, actually. It's my preferred method of dealing with people." Shepard responded with a smirk of his own. "Especially irreverent helmsmen."

"Ya know, I think I know some women who would disagree with you that you're a hard-ass. Hard something, maybe, but . . ."

"What was that, Joker? I didn't quite catch what you said. Before you repeat it, though, you should make sure you know what it means to be keelhauled. Then ask yourself if you'd rather do that, or have three days of shore leave. Then tell me what you were saying before."

"I don't know what that is, Commander, but I've decided I don't want it. Anything that makes you happy makes other people sad. Or dead." Joker grimaced. "Therefore, earlier, I was just asking what you wanted me to do while we're docked."

"That's what I thought you said, Moreau." Shepard said with a wink. "You're one of the lucky ones this time around. Just make sure the hull gets a careful inspection to make sure the crazies on Feros didn't hurt anything, and go over the reports from the last few days. If the Normandy's running well, you're free for the next three days. If she's not everything she's supposed to be and more, I want to know about it immediately."

"I think I love you, Shepard." Joker replied with a false catch in his throat.

"I love you too, Joker." Shepard replied while rolling his eyes. "I'll see you later."

Once they docked at the Citadel, Shepard waited at the galaxy map for the rest of his team. Garrus, Tali, and Wrex arrived together, then Liara showed up, and finally Ashley and Kaidan made their appearance.

"Alright everybody, here's what we're doing." Shepard began. "I 'procured' several hours of uninterrupted time at one of the C-Sec gun ranges. That's why I wanted you all to be fully kitted up, because I want to know what you all can do with your weapons. I know some of you have biotics, and I've seen those in the field. I'm really more concerned with weapon proficiency. So make sure you have something to read, watch, or listen to on your omni-tools, because I'm going to be bringing you in one at a time. Also, I will be ranking you, with each weapon, from best to worst. I also may or may not tell make the rankings known publicly. I therefore advise you to do your best. Any questions?" Nobody spoke or moved, so he decided they were all ready. "Alright gang, let's move out. I'll meet you there in an hour."

Tali and Garrus stayed behind. "Um, Shepard?" Tali asked nervously.

"Yeah Tali?" He responded as they all started walking towards the airlock.

"When you said you were going to meet us at the range in an hour, were you implying that you were going to wander the Citadel, alone, until then?"

"Of course not." Shepard smiled as Tali released a little sigh of relief. "I have several things that I need to get done before I meet you guys at the range. So I will in fact be traversing the Citadel in a very direct and purposeful manner." Looking down at her, Shepard thought he could just make out a frown, and he heard Garrus stifle a chortle.

"That wasn't what I meant, Shepard." She said crossly, while glaring daggers at Garrus. "I don't think you should be on your own right now, since you're still recovering from the fight on Therum."

"Well Tali, I think being an N7 oughta get me at least a little respect, especially on my own ship. I don't think I like being told I can't go shopping without an armed escort because I'm too weak and frail."

"That wasn't what I meant!" Tali exclaimed. "And what are you doing, Garrus?" She turned her anger on the turian.

"Nothing much, Tali." His mandibles fluttered in amusement, before he turned to Shepard and they stilled. "But I agree with her, Commander. Safety in numbers."

Shepard shot Garrus a withering stare. "Et tu, Brutus?"

"I don't know who that is, but I'm C-Sec, remember? I know how shady the Citadel can get. Trust me on that. And you don't even have armor." Garrus pointed out, trying to appeal to Shepard's logical, soldierly side.

"Fine." Shepard gave in. "You two can follow me around like little lost puppies if you want. But I'd be alright on my own, just so you know."

"We know, Shepard." Garrus said in a patronizing tone.

Scowling, Shepard hailed a cab to take them to the Financial District.

Getting out of the cab, Shepard made a beeline for the office of Barla Von. Reaching the door, he stopped and turned towards the other two. "You two wait out here. Make sure we're not interrupted. And don't give me any looks." He cut off whatever they were about to say with a raised hand. "It's one freaking volus. If he could take me down, I'd resign from the Alliance and the Spectres right now. Stay. Here." And without another word, he turned and strode into the volus's office.

"I think you made the Commander angry." Garrus said in a mocking voice.

"Shut up." Tali said crossly. It's bad enough that I made Shepard think I question his ability to lead us safely by criticizing his ability to keep even himself safe. I don't need Garrus's jibes on top of that.

"Maybe you could tell him you're sorry?" Garrus's voice was still distressingly sarcastic.

"Shut up, Garrus." If that stupid turian bosh'tet doesn't shut up, I'm going to wipe that stupid smirk off his stupid face.

"Actually, while you're at it, maybe you could apologize on behalf of your race to him for letting the geth break free and endanger the galaxy." The turian's tone had turned from jest to condemnation. "Actually, you may as well make that apology galaxy-wide."

"SHUT UP, GARRUS!" Tali finally exploded, turning to look at him while she yelled. A part of her noted that unfortunately, he no longer had a snide smile in place for her to wipe off, but that only made her angrier. "You have no idea what the geth did to my people! And if my people are apologizing for the geth, why don't your people apologize for releasing the genophage upon the krogan?!"

"That's assuming that sterilizing the krogan was a mistake. Which it wasn't."

Garrus's ability to keep calm in the face of her anger fueled the fire burning within her. "Then why don't you try telling that to Wrex, Garrus? And at least the geth haven't brought any species to the brink of extinction!"

"Except their creators."

"Why you-"

"That's enough, Tali." Shepard's sudden reappearance took them both by surprise. "You're making a scene." Even if she is making some of the same arguments to Garrus that I made to Wrex earlier today, there's a time and a place for everything; and this is neither.

Sure enough, when she looked around at the financial district she noticed several groups of people had stopped talking, shopping, and even moving, in order to watch her shout. As they began resuming their former activities, Tali flushed with embarrassment beneath her helmet. Now I've made a fool of myself in front of Shepard! I hate you sometimes, Garrus! She continued to berate herself, Garrus, and even Shepard for his untimely arrival, while Shepard turned his attention to the turian.

"And you, Garrus. You didn't need to provoke her like that. You knew she was in a bad mood, but you gave her the mickey anyway. If we're gonna work together as a team, I can't have you two at each other's throats every time I walk away."

"What do you mean; she was in a bad mood?" Garrus seemed surprised to hear about Tali's mood. "How can you tell?"

Shit. Can I really tell how she's feeling, when even another dextro can't? That's gotta mean I'm paying way too much attention to her, right? I shouldn't be doing that. And what do I tell Garrus? "Well, I'm not surprised, since I can't take my eyes off her and you seem to be a completely normal, non-stalkerish individual." Maybe a little white lie, then. "I guess I'm just better at reading people and their body language. Probably because I'm trained as an infiltrator, so I need to be able to tell how anxious someone is, or how close of attention they're paying to me."

Hmm. I suppose that makes sense, but I've been a C-Sec Detective for four years, and I'm quite good at reading body language. I had no idea she was in a bad mood. Between my C-Sec training and experience, as well as the extra training Father gave me, I should be better than a human naval officer at reading people. Is that a deficiency on my part, or is Shepard just that much better than I am? Maybe he received additional training while earning his N7 designation? I will pursue this later, once I have some free time. For now, I have another question.

"No offense, Commander, but how did you hear us? Specifically, me?" Garrus asked, without realizing how much he sounded like a child caught instigating a fight.

"I may not have armor on, but technology has created these wonderful comm units that can be placed in one ear, and allow me to have access to our radio channels."

"Oh." Garrus looked chagrined. "I, um, forgot, Commander. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

Tali finally re-emerged from her thoughts and caught the end of Garrus's apology. "I'm sorry, too, Shepard."

"While I appreciate your apologies, I'm not really the person who needs them." He cleared his throat heavily and looked pointedly between the two people in front of him.

Does he really expect me to apologize? I didn't do anything wrong! Garrus was being mean to me! He started it! Ugh! Tali suddenly felt angry with herself, rather than Garrus. And now I sound like a child! I can't say something like that to Shepard! I suppose I do have to apologize to that big dumb annoying turian. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, Garrus." She said without looking at either of the men standing next to her.

"And I shouldn't have tried to push your buttons, Tali. I'm sorry."

"Good. Now that you two have made up, I need to do some shopping." He headed towards a hanar shopkeeper he had talked to the last time he was on the Citadel.

Following along behind, Garrus plucked up a bit more courage to ask yet another question. "If I may, Commander, you seem to be in a fairly good mood, considering you were just forced to reprimand us."

"It wasn't a reprimand, Garrus." Shepard sighed. "Christ, I'm not a turian commander. I just didn't want you two making fools out of yourselves in public. I did it for your sakes, not mine."

"I understand, Commander. Nevertheless, you are practically bouncing. Why?"

"Well, I had a chat with my financial advisor, and he told me that I finally have some money to spend. Just in time, too, since I need some new armor."

"Good for you, Shepard." Tali spoke up.

"Do you know what you're going to get yet?" Garrus asked.

"Not sure." Shepard replied, before coming to a stop in front of the floating hanar. "Hello again, er, Dijon?"

"This one's face name is Delan." The hanar said. "It is good to see you again, Commander Shepard. Would you like to see this one's products?"

Son of a bitch. Way to insult the merchant you're about to buy shit from, Spike. You're such a moron sometimes, you know that? Hopefully he won't take it out on me with his prices.

"What do you have as far as light human armor, Delan?"

"Oh, you will be pleased." The hanar opened up a holographic interface next to him with six different armor sets displayed in miniature.

Shepard scanned through the listing with a practiced eye. He activated his omni-tool and started interacting with the display. He quickly reorganized the list by price, and then closed the visualizations of the three most expensive sets. Looking at what was left, he quickly made a decision. "I'll take a set of Devlon's Explorer VI Armor, please, Delan."

"Certainly, Commander Shepard. Please remain motionless while your outer dimensions are catalogued." Shepard didn't move while a blue light reached out from Delan's console and scanned his body. "Thank you, Commander. Can this one interest you in changing the color on your new purchase? The cost is nominal at only 10 additional credits."

Shepard rolled his eyes. "What color's it come in, Delan?"

"This one is gladdened by your consideration of our offer. The standard armor is white, Commander."

"Thanks, but I'll be alright with white armor, Delan. The geth might think I'm one of theirs long enough to give me an edge in a firefight."

"This one is sad to hear of your decision; however, your words ring with truth. May the Enkindlers guide and watch over you, Commander."

"Thanks, Delan. Ehm, you too. When can I pick up the new armor?"

"If the Commander would be able to wait approximately two and one-half standard minutes, this one is glad to be able to say that the Commander could leave our store with your new armor."

"Sure thing, Delan." Shepard activated his omni-tool and sent a direct fund transfer to the hanar. "There's the money. Thanks for the armor."

"This one thanks the Commander for his choice in selecting our store for your purchases."

Shepard, Garrus, and Tali stepped away from the storefront to give Delan a chance to attract some other consumers. They each passed the two minutes in their own way. Shepard activated a holo of the Citadel and appeared to be looking for the best route to get to his commandeered gun range. In reality, however, he was looking through the hologram, and was watching Tali.

She really is very pretty in profile. That suit clings so closely to her body, and she just looks so graceful, even though all she's doing is standing there. I wonder what she looks like without the suit. Is her skin smooth, like ours, or rough like a turian's? Do quarians have hair? I wonder what it would feel like to run my hand up her bare back, and tangle my fingers in her hair, before pulling her face to mine. Suddenly realizing that his thoughts had gone down a patently unprofessional and troublesome path, he pulled his mind out of the gutter and back to reality. I have a girlfriend! I think, probably. For now. But even if I didn't, it's a moot point anyway, because she's still a child according to her people. And that's just creepy. His mind was expending so much effort trying to convince itself that looking at Tali's beautiful body was wrong, it failed to address the fact that his eyes were once again locked onto her lithe form.

Tali, although she appeared to be looking out into the crowded financial district, had her eyes locked securely on the person to her right. Positively straining her ocular muscles to keep as much of him in her field of view as possible while keeping her head facing forward, she observed him surreptitiously. It's so nice to be able to see him without his armor and without him knowing I'm looking. Usually when we're together on the ship, he's talking directly to me, so I have to keep my attention focused on what he's saying (and making sure that he can't see me eyeing him up and down like a wonderful piece of turian chocolate). But right now, mmmm. I can just devote my entire being to looking at his strong, broad shoulders and his large, manly hands and his tight, flat buttocks and his bulging arms and that adorable stubble he's growing and – oh my, is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?

She took a deep breath, trying to control her racing pulse to little effect. I desperately want to go over there and run my hands over his taut chest, and reach around behind him to his butt and – oh Keelah, I need to stop. I can't keep thinking of him like this. He's my Captain while I'm on his ship! And nothing could ever happen anyway, because I'm stuck in this suit, and he's a human, and I'm a quarian.

While Tali and Shepard were silently agonizing over one another, Garrus had seized on the opportunity to do some of his research into the Alliance's N7 program. I didn't know that its real name was the Interplanetary Combatives Training program. Or that its students could pick what training they wanted to receive. I had assumed it would be similar to the early Spectre candidacy training for turians. Stupid mistake. Of course the humans do things differently. I wonder what ICT courses Shepard selected? Garrus tried to access Shepard's service file, but found out quickly that the Alliance's encryption was too difficult for him to crack.

Apparently I won't be able to find out that way. I suppose he could be better at reading body language than I am, if he took some sort of advanced course. However, it is impressive that the Alliance's training includes how to read the body language of other species. I can't think of any other reason why Shepard would be able to know how Tali feels. Thinking on it for another few seconds, the real reason never occurred to Garrus, and he went back to researching the ICT program.

After Delan's stated two and a half minutes, a human arrived pushing a small hover cart with a large case on the top. Popping the top off, Shepard looked inside and was pleased to see his new armor. Motioning for the deliveryman to wait, Shepard began pulling off his casuals. Garrus looked on curiously, while Tali let out a small "Eep!" that no one heard and looked away, before looking quickly back.

Oh, by the ancestors! Shepard's shirt came off, followed quickly by a thin yet sturdy flak vest. This gave Tali the opportunity to drink in the sight of ribbed ridges of muscle standing out underneath Shepard's tight-fitted under-armor bodysuit. That is the most glorious sight I've ever seen. I remember how tight his muscles felt when he made me touch his waist the other day, but seeing them is something altogether different. Without noticing, she started lightly petting her own stomach while ogling her commander. And when he bent over to slide his pants off, revealing the matte black bodysuit clinging to his finely sculpted ass like a second skin, she very nearly lost control of herself. Keelah! I need to touch that- Wait! What am I thinking? I can't go over there and just grab his butt! What would he think? What would Garrus think? What would Shepard say?! I'd be mortified. Of course, I'd also have touched what has to be one of the most glorious things in the galaxy, but at what cost? No, no, no. I must behave. Maybe tonight, before I go to sleep, I can think about how I just saw every little bit of his perfect, gorgeous body and dream about what it would feel like to touch it, but for right now, I need to focus on appearing calm.

Luckily for Tali, by this time Shepard had already put on all of his armor except for his helmet and gauntlets. While she watched, he slid on the gauntlets and tried on the helmet before pulling it off and attaching it to a hard point on his hip. Then he leaned back into the crate where he had dropped the flak vest and his clothing, and emerged with two wide lengths of matte black metal. These were quickly buckled around his existing armor, giving his forearms an extra inch of protection all the way around. I wonder what those are? Tali thought to herself as she watched Shepard close up the armor case. Perhaps he needs extra armor around his forearms? Or maybe they hold additional medi-gel supplies? I'll ask him next time he comes to visit me in engineering. If they're something useful, maybe I'll look into finding or making a pair.

"Thanks, Delan." Shepard said, going up to the now customer-less hanar. "It's great."

"This one is pleased to have been of assistance to you, Commander Shepard."

Shepard then turned to the deliveryman. "Can you deliver that to the Normandy?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks, man." Shepard said, activating his omni-tool and flicking it towards the deliveryman. "There's the docking information, and a little something extra for your time."

"Thanks." The deliveryman said before he headed off with the hovercraft.

Turning back to his team, Shepard pointed off towards a fast transit station. "Alright you two, clear out."

Exclamations of "What, Commander?" and "Shepard?" were Garrus's and Tali's responses, respectively.

"I've got some business to attend to, and I don't need you two to escort me around anymore." He pointed to his chest. "See? All armored up."

"But Commander-"

Shepard ended whatever argument Garrus had been about to present. "I went along with both of you earlier, because you made sense. But I'm now in brand new armor, and no longer in any danger. So I thank you both for your concern, but I'm giving you an order. Meet me at the gun range with the rest of the crew."

Shaking his head, Garrus turned to walk away. Before Tali could do the same, Shepard reached out and grabbed her upper arm. "Tali, I wanted to say something."

Tali's heart jumped when she felt his touch, but then plummeted at his words. Oh no! He must have noticed me staring at him! What do I say?! As she felt the flush completely overtake her face, she forced herself to listen to his words.

"I wanted to say that I'm really glad you cared enough to want to come with me on the station. I'm sorry I'm sending you away now, but I don't want you to be mad again. Trust me when I say if I didn't feel completely fine, I'd be bringing you and Garrus along. You believe me, right?"

Shocked into silence by his words, she could only nod mutely. He's not angry with me! He just wanted to make sure I wasn't angry. I feel so . . . warm inside. She smiled up at him. "I believe you, Shepard."

Shepard saw the corners of her eyes crinkle when she smiled, and he felt his own face light up with a smile of its own in response. "That makes me really happy, Tali. Now go catch up to Garrus so I don't have to worry about you wandering the Citadel on your own." He pushed her gently towards the turian, who had stopped to wait for her. She practically skipped away, her head swimming with the idea that Shepard cared about her.

An hour later, the full team was at the C-Sec gun range, Shepard included. He was the last to arrive, and when he did, he pointed to his body and said towards Tali and Garrus "See? No holes." The team looked at him; Garrus and Tali in appreciation, and the rest of the team in confusion, but no one said anything. Continuing, Shepard added "And I didn't even get into a single battle the whole way," seeming to expect praise for his "accomplishment."

"Good for you, Shepard." Garrus said as Shepard moved forward to usher his team inside. "Wait!" He added suddenly as he noticed the matte black weapons affixed to Shepard's back and sides. "Those are different weapons than what you used when we were on Therum. They seem familiar, but I can't place the manufacturer . . ." Garrus trailed off, as he, like Shepard, Ashley, and Wrex, prided himself on his knowledge of weapons and their origins.

Shepard smirked, since he had been waiting for someone to notice. "Well, Garrus, I'm glad you noticed. These here are some HMW VII Spectre weapons. Top of the line death-dealing machines. They do more damage at a longer range and with a shorter cool down time than anything else you can get on the market. They're my new favorite toys in the galaxy."

"They look beautiful, Skip." Ashley chimed in, eyeing the AR covetously. "Can I have a go once we're in the range?"

"Sorry Ash, that's a no-can-do." He replied with a smile. Seeing Ashley's smile turn to a frown, he decided to tell her why. "These are Spectre weapons, which means they're only sold to Spectres. Seems obvious, right? But there's an addendum: they overload themselves, killing the person holding them, if anybody who isn't me tries to touch them. And since I don't want anybody on my team to die, nobody, and I mean nobody touches these but me." He met the eyes of each member of his team, making sure that they understood. Suddenly he thought of another thing he wanted to mention.

"Actually, while I've got you all here, and we're talking about weapons, let me add one more thing. While we're on missions, after we kill all the baddies, aka once we've completely cleared an area, feel free to look through the dead guys and take whatever you want. Especially weapons-wise. Armor may be a problem once we've riddled it full of holes, but hey, if it floats your boat, go for it. Any questions?" When nobody moved or spoke, he shrugged his shoulders and made sure everybody was in the gun range.

"Here's how it's gonna work." He said once they were all inside. "One by one, you're gonna come in here and show me whatcha got. Then, I'm gonna look at who excels in certain areas, and who could maybe us a little help in certain areas. Those two people are gonna work together, and hopefully everyone will be at or near the same superb skill level by the time we head out for our next destination. Capisce?"

"Commander, I think my translator glitched." Garrus said. "What is 'ka-peesh?'?"

Shepard suppressed a laugh at the turian's pronunciation of Italian. "It means, 'understand?'"

"Oh. I ka-peesh then." Garrus replied. This time, Shepard couldn't help but laugh aloud, making Garrus look both confused and a little cross.