Chapter 22

"Alright, so help me figure out which one of these places serves both dextro- and levo-based food, Tali." Shepard said with a vague gesture towards the many middle class restaurants that surrounded the pair. Because goddamn, there are a lot of choices. Why do there need to be so many of these fucking places, anyway?

"Umm, hold on." Tali pulled up her omni-tool and started looking for information on the extranet. I should have been doing this while we walked over here. With luck, I can steer him away from any places that have a noted prejudice against quarians. "It says here that the two best places serving food that is safe for both humans and turians are called 'The Boutique Bistro' and 'Digeris Foods.'" And neither of them seems to be overtly anti-quarian.

"Digeris? Why does that sound familiar . . ." Shepard trailed off, trying to remember where he had heard the name before. I didn't eat out anywhere last time I was on the Citadel, did I? Unless I did something I don't remember while I was hammered. That might be bad. Shit.

Tali did another quick search on the 'net. "It says that Digeris was the site of an important battle during the Krogan Rebellions."

"That's it!" Shepard snapped his fingers. Oh thank god. I haven't embarrassed myself at some random restaurant, then. "I remember studying this in one of my tactics classes during basic. They wanted to show us the way you, or your enemy, can use the surroundings to your advantage. It was supposed to teach us how to pick the proper engagement area."

"What happened? In the battle, I mean?"

"I figured you meant that, Tal." He shot her a smile that warmed her entire body. "A krogan warlord attacked Digeris, which is in the same system as Palaven. When reinforcements from Palaven arrived, he put his dreadnoughts' backs to the planet to discourage the turians from firing their main guns too often. The turians won, eventually, but it took them a lot longer than it otherwise would have."

"That's . . . interesting, I guess." I really don't find that interesting at all. But if this is the cost of spending time with him, alone, I will gladly listen to as many boring lectures as he cares to recite.

Shepard burst out laughing at her tone of voice. I think she finds that just as boring as I did when I was in basic. Of course, I now know how valuable that lesson can be, but I hope she never has to learn those lessons the way I did. ICT was a fucking nightmare. But hot damn does it work! "It's okay, Tali. I didn't find it very interesting when I learned it, either. I just memorized part of the story in order to learn the lesson."

"Oh. Good." I'm glad he wasn't insulted. "Which of the two places would you like to try, Spike?"

Shepard turned away, trying to simultaneously hide his grin and look for the two restaurants. It sounds so fucking nice when she calls me by my first name. Still don't know why, but I'm not gonna care anymore. I'm just gonna sit back and enjoy it. "It looks like that Boutique place is closer. Try there first?"

"Okay." She said, smiling up at him through her helmet.

Yeah, she's definitely smiling. I feel like I'm really starting to get the hang of reading her body language and, what, eye expressions? Or something like that. Whatever. Point is, I'm awesome. That means it's okay for me to smile back though. Which he did, locking his eyes with hers for a moment that seemed to stretch on for much longer than its actual two-second duration. Tearing himself away, Shepard gestured for her to walk next to him.

They walked to the restaurant in silence, both of them lost in deep thought regarding their feelings about the person next to them. When they reached the eatery's façade, Shepard marched up to the host and fixed her with an immobilizing stare. Tali followed behind, wringing her hands in worry.

"Do you serve quarians here?" Shepard jumped right to the heart of the matter.

"Uh, hello, sir." The host answered, taken aback by his forthrightness. "Unfortunately, we are unable to accommodate quarians in our restaurant."

"Fine. Have a nice fucking day." Shepard's harsh response caused the host's jaw to drop, before he turned and quickly walked back out onto the Commons proper.

Once again, Tali had no choice but to follow him meekly. I'm starting to feel like I'm eight years old again, and Father is leading me around his labs, telling me to behave, while he gives orders to his staff. That feels unfair to Shepard, though. He hasn't told me to be quiet, or even ordered me to follow him. He's been nothing but considerate. How many non-quarians would even want to be associated with one of us? No, he is most certainly not subjugating me the way my father did. Perhaps it's that he carries himself with the same air of commanding authority that Father did while overseeing work on the Flotilla. If that's the case, then why do I find him attractive? Am I attracted to Father? No, I can't be. Despite her mental reassurances, she shivered.

Shepard noticed when she shook slightly, and that fact immediately derailed his other, less-pure thoughts. "Are you alright, Tali?" Christ, I don't even know what I'd do if she got sick. Do I call for help? Call Chakwas? I don't even know where the doc is. Wait, that doctor on the Wards, Michel or something, treated Tali before. I'd commandeer a vehicle and get Tali there. That's a solid plan.

"No, I'm fine, Commander." By the Ancestors, I certainly can't tell him that I was struggling to convince myself that I am not attracted to my father. "I'm just glad you didn't get quite as angry that time."

"Ah, yeah, I'm sorry about earlier, again. It was just a surprise to me. I don't think of you, or quarians in general, as any different from anybody else. I forgot that the rest of the galaxy tends to be full of xenophobic dicks. Don't misinterpret my actions in that 'Boutique' place though, I'm really pissed off. Humans don't have any right to look down on any of the other races. I expected better of her, because now I feel like she's reflecting poorly on my whole race, you know?"

She nodded. "I understand, Spike. Should we try the other restaurant, or do you just want to go back to the ship?"

He steeled his features and set out for Digeris Foods at an initial pace that had her struggling to keep up. "No. We're getting a nice meal together if I have to pull out my gun and Spectre credentials and force somebody to let us in."

"That's really not necessary, Spike." She tried to calm him down. "You don't have to prove anything to me."

"I know." But now it's personal. All these fucking places dissed my crew, which means they disrespected me. And I'm gonna kick some ass if they don't wise the fuck up. "Let's at least try this last place, then we'll re-evaluate our strategy."

"Okay." I don't think that the next place will let us in, either. At least this gives me more time to watch him walk. She spent the rest of the walk idly fantasizing about Shepard's body.

When they reached the entrance to the restaurant, he paused for a second and composed himself. He forced a smile onto his face, and then strolled up to the wait station. "Hello." Damn it, I still sound angry. Lighten the voice, Spike.

"Good afternoon." The turian on duty responded, with a nod of his head.

"I have a question, before I came in here and spent my hard-earned credits." That's better. You sound much more casual now. They're not all "hard-earned" credits, but enough of them are.

"Yes?"

"Do you let quarians in here?"

The turian hesitated before answering, in an effort to buy time to decipher the correct answer, the one that would entice the human in to spend some credits. He couldn't get a read on the human, though, so he decided just to opt for the bare truth. "We do."

"Really?" Shepard was taken aback. Well I'll be damned. The fucking human-run restaurant won't let quarians in, but this obviously turian place, run by the most annoying fucking race in the galaxy, does. Almost makes me ashamed to be associated with those other racist bastards. "Excellent!"

The turian was pleasantly surprised at the human's response. "I must tell you, however, that we do not have the ability to convert anything on the menu to something that would be edible to quarians."

"But most of the dextro stuff on the menu is an option, right?"

"Of course." The turian nodded to reinforce his point. "Some of the specialties, however, cannot be sterilized due to their ingredients."

"That's fine." Shepard waved the last comment away. "Table for two, please."

"Follow me." The turian turned and led them away.

Shepard contained his excitement until he reached the table, where he pulled out the chair for Tali to sit in. He took the seat at the other side of the table, and then grinned widely at her. "How about that, huh? This place is perfect. Great atmosphere, too." Alright, maybe I'm embellishing a bit. He glanced around furtively. Definitely a turian atmosphere, but hey, beggars can't be choosers, right?

Tali smiled widely back at him. He seems so happy. Did finding a place where we could have dinner together really mean that much to him? It is quite a pleasant surprise. Maybe he does care for me. No, he can't. He can't even see my face. I also don't understand why he pulled my chair out for me. It must be a human thing. Maybe I can research it later on the extranet. "It is very nice, here, Spike. Thank you again for inviting me."

"It's my pleasure, Tal." He couldn't keep the smile off his face. "Now let's find something to eat, shall we? I'm starving." All that walking around and being angry drained whatever I had in the tank. What do they have that looks good? "Oh, and make sure you order whatever you want. I know people; humans at least, can be shy about ordering food when they're not paying. Order something that looks tasty. Business has been good lately." He winked at her.

"Fine, Spike." She said with a smile that threatened to split her face in two. I feel badly about not contributing to the meal, but I don't want to insult him. I suppose one nice meal can't hurt.

The pair sat in silence for a few minutes, looking over the holographic menus. Finally, Shepard spoke up. "You know what you're gonna get yet, Tali?"

"Umm, yes. I think so. Do you?"

"Yep. What are you gonna get?"

She hesitated and looked back down at her menu. "Would you tell me what you're getting, first?"

Shepard smiled, not caring that the only part of her that could see would be the top of her head. She's really cute. I bet she wants to see what I order, then pick something that's nearly the same price. That's what I'd do, anyway. Should I set a bad example and get a beer, too? Oh hell, why not? I'm taking a well-deserved break from some serious shit. One beer is the least I can do for myself. "Sure. I'm gonna get the Ottawa Special, and a 375 of Stella Veisse." He tapped the proper commands into the menu, which then faded away.

Ottawa Special . . . Ottawa Special . . . There it is! Okay, 18 credits. And Stella Veisse, that sounds like a drink. There! Oh, beer. I didn't expect him to be drinking. I didn't really think about a drink at all, to be honest. But if he is, does that mean that I can? It must. "Okay, Spike. Then I'm going to get the tarkza quon. And a 350 milliliter bottle of sarkouzy." She finished inputting her order, then looked up and caught him grinning at her. "What?"

"Nothing." Yeah, I was totally right. She definitely made me go first and then ordered something that was the exact same price. There's no freaking way that that's a coincidence. "I'm just glad you found something you wanted to try."

"Me too." I feel like there's something he's not saying. I'm sure if it were important, he would tell me. I should be spending this time finding out more about him. Every time we talk, it's always about me. I feel this, craving, to know more about him. I don't understand, but for some reason it doesn't matter. "So, Spike, I was wondering if you'd be willing to tell me more about yourself, now. I feel like you know everything about me, but I know nothing about you."

Oh, I wouldn't say I know everything about you. I feel like I've barely scratched the surface. Ha ha. "Scratched the surface." Oh, good one, Spike, very funny. You find the weirdest fucking shit funny. Whatever. "Well, Tali, I can't say that I feel the same way, but what do you want to know?"

So many things! What do I want to ask first? I should probably avoid anything to do with his family, at least for now. Oooh, I know. "You said that 'Spike' is your nickname." He started shaking his head, but she held up a hand. "Don't worry; I'm not going to ask you about your real name." He stopped shaking his head, and she continued. "I was wondering how you got that nickname."

He smiled. "Well, it all started back when I was little. As you already found out, I didn't grow up with my parents, after the age of, like, three or something. I lived in a sort of group home that the Alliance created especially for kids who were orphaned by the First Contact War."

"I'm sorry, Spike." She frowned under her helmet. "Were there a lot of orphans?"

I don't like her being sad. It's unbecoming. And makes me feel sad. Time to make this story happy in a hurry. "Not really. Maybe 30 or so. But that's not the good part of the story."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. So I grew up with a bunch of other kids, running around trying to find trouble. Of course, on a space station, there wasn't that much trouble to get into. But we managed to find our fair share."

"Like what?" I can't believe Spike was a troublemaker when he was younger. Although, based on his actions during our engagements, perhaps I should have expected something like this.

"Well, a couple of kids; not me, by the way; used to try stowing away aboard Alliance ships. I usually led raiding parties on ships that were in dock for a while. We'd explore around a bit, pretend we were fighting the turians, and then high-tail it out of there before somebody found us. Sometimes, if we found something that looked neat, we might," he coughed, "borrow it."

"You stole things?" Tali was shocked, as stealing was punished both criminally and socially on the Flotilla.

"Well, yeah. We were just kids at the time. It was never anything really big or expensive. Just a hat, or a pen, or a knife. Actually, that plays into how I got the nickname." He took a hard look at her. "You seem upset, Tali. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? You're telling me, quite calmly, that you stole things from your fleet. From the people who protected you! How could you?"

"Hey, Tali, it wasn't that big a deal. Like I said, I never let anybody take anything that was too valuable. And, to be fair, I've more than paid the Alliance back for anything I took when I was younger. Actually, I've probably paid them back for everything all of us took, with interest, all by myself. I've been in the Alliance for over a decade, and contributed copious amounts of blood, sweat, and tears to protecting people. So as far as I'm concerned, I'm square with everyone." Well, not everyone. I still owe Saren the ass whooping of a lifetime. However, he's not really the subject of this conversation.

Shepard's explanation gave Tali pause. That . . . actually makes sense. Whatever he may have done in the past, he has atoned for. Why did I get so angry with him, and then forgive him just as quickly? Maybe I'm hungrier than I believed. "I suppose you're right, Spike. We actually have a similar notion to what you expressed, although I've never heard of it being applied to a crime."

"What's your 'notion' all about?" I can't believe she didn't keep arguing with me. I was all ready for another attack along a different line. I know Beth woulda just jumped on a different part of all that. Point to Tali.

"Ever since we've been restricted to living in space, the formal way to say 'thank you' is to say 'this gift of resources shall be repaid.' If the other person wants to convey that repayment is unnecessary, they say that 'that which is given freely incurs no debt.' What you're expressing seems to be that you've repaid your 'debt of resources' in quarian terms."

"That's beautiful, Tali. Do your people have a lot of sayings like that?"

"None that I can remember off the top of my head." She giggled. "Now stop trying to get me off topic and finish your story."

"Right. Story. Well, anyway, one of the things I 'liberated' when I was, like, six, was a knife. Of course, now I know that it was a knife. But at the time, it was so unlike the things we used to eat food, I knew it had to be something else, something more exotic. I carried that thing around with me everywhere, trying to hide it inside of baggy clothes or backpacks. I eventually got tired of referring to it as 'it,' so I went to one of the public terminals and tried looking up the name of whatever this thing was." He laughed at the memory.

"So I kept trying different descriptions, and kept getting 'knife,' which I just knew wasn't right. Finally, I got back 'spike' with one of my searches. I liked the sound of that, so I started calling my knife, my 'spike.' I also began insisting that my friends and teachers call me Spike. By the time I got to basic, though, the military knew me as 'Shepard,' and I didn't really have many friends left to call me Spike. Oh don't worry," he noticed she was starting to look anxious, "they didn't die or anything. We just drifted apart as we got older. So now I'm usually Shepard; but certain people get to call me Spike. I don't have that knife anymore, but I still carry a knife around at all times. Even found out when I joined the Navy that it's one of their unofficial rules. Number 9, I think."

"Thank you for sharing that with me, Spike." She smiled as she said his name. "I'm glad that I was able to earn your trust."

"Hey, thanks for coming along with us on this crazy adventure. Actually, now that I think about it, you're the only living person that I know who actually knows that story. Aside from myself, of course." He smiled at her.

Tali's heart kicked into overdrive. "Thank you, Spike." Her grin was practically ear to ear, when a sudden thought occurred to her. "So your girlfriend doesn't know?"

"No. I've never really opened up to her the way I have to you." Oops. That may explain why she's been so pissed off lately. I guess it's possible some of her arguments actually do have a valid point. Huh. Who'da thunk it? "I don't know why that is. Any ideas?"

Tali was practically hyperventilating. Keelah! I don't know why I feel this way but I'm full of pride and happiness and excitement all at once. I can't understand why he seems to trust me so much, but I'm certainly not going to question it. Maybe that's why I've grown to trust him so quickly, even with my life. Reciprocal trust. Perhaps I can message Auntie Raan about it. No, we're supposed to be out on our own, and fully independent. Whenever I return to the Flotilla, I can ask her then. I should really answer Shepard for right now, though. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath, trying in vain to calm her body. "No idea. I'm still struggling to understand you and the rest of the crew."

They both smiled at that. Before she could ask another question, their food arrived. True to the word of the turian at the door, Tali's food was enclosed in a container that was clearly marked "Sterile." The pair looked up at each other, then, as if reaching an unspoken agreement, started eating in unison. Shepard cut into one of the pancakes and carefully inspected it before popping it into his mouth. That's not half-bad. This place is definitely going right up to the top of my list of "places that don't suck to eat at." He looked over at Tali, to see how she was doing.

At the same time as Shepard had picked up his fork and knife, Tali had started her own, rather more extravagant process. First, she picked up the container with the food in it and carefully inspected it, making sure all the seals were intact. Then she threaded the outgoing port of the tube into her helmet's intake port. She took a moment to queue up an application of medi-gel and antibiotics, just in case, then opened the ports' seals and took a hesitant sniff. When nothing untoward happened, she tried a little of the food inside.

Shepard had watched the whole process with rapt fascination. Alright, Spike, stop watching her. Don't you realize how fucking creepy it is to just stare at someone while they eat? To be fair, I can't actually tell if she's even had a bite, yet, but it's still creepy. And wipe that stupid grin off your face, before she thinks you're some sorta psycho.

For her part, Tali was, for the first time all night, not paying any attention to the man seated across from her. By the Ancestors, this is amazing! It's so much better than nutrient paste! I don't know if I'll be able to enjoy nutrient paste ever again, even the chazlit flavor. I wonder if they can sell me several tubes full of this, and then I can bring it with me on the Normandy. I hope Spike's meal is as good as this is. She looked up, and finally noticed him staring at her.

He ducked his head down, and suddenly became very interested in his bacon. Crap. Caught with your hand in the cookie jar, Spike.

"How is your meal, Spike?" She asked with a wide smile.

I really hope that smile is because of her food, and not because she's gonna give me shit about staring at her. "Pretty good. You seem pretty happy over there, how's yours?"

"It's amazing! Thank you so much for bringing me here, Spike. This is probably the best thing I've ever had in my mouth." To her surprise, Shepard burst out laughing, practically choking on his food. "Why are you laughing?" She asked, suddenly defensive. I wasn't making a joke! If he is making light of this meal, I will do something very mean to him. I don't know what, but he will not enjoy it.

Shepard caught the warning in her tone. "It was just something you said, Tali. I'm really glad to hear that you're enjoying yourself, and it was my pleasure to bring you here."

"Then why are you laughing at me?" She repeated, only slightly mollified.

"It's just, you said something that is pretty funny to human guys, and I couldn't help myself. Really, it's no big deal."

"What did I say?" I'm not mad at him anymore, now I just want to know what I said so I can avoid it in the future. Especially around the other members of the crew.

"Erm." Sheppard rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, it was that 'best thing you'd ever had in your mouth' comment."

"I don't understand."

Oh boy. Are we really gonna talk about this over dinner? I guess I don't really have a choice, because I recognize the "I'm not dropping this" look I'm getting. Funny how even though her face is shielded, stubbornness shines through like nobody's business. "Well, sometimes, when a boy human and a girl human love each other very much-" although that's not strictly true, since usually the boy human is always good with it and the girl human has to either be really infatuated or really drunk, but there's no way I'm going there.

Under her helmet, Tali felt a flush start to rise in her cheeks and her palms start to sweat, as she started to guess where the conversation was going.

"The girl human will do this nice thing for the boy human where she puts a part of the boy human's body in her mouth, and it makes the boy human veeeery happy. So happy, he just explodes with excitement." Fuck that was awkward. I sure as hell hope that that was clear enough, because I really don't wanna have to go more in-depth about that. Especially not here, and especially not with her. I can't even properly see her face, but just her and that in the same conversation is getting a reaction. Down boy! He looked over at Tali, expectantly.

She refused to meet his gaze. I feel so embarrassed! I can't believe I just talked about mating, with my Captain! Now he's looking at me as if he expects me to say something. What do I say? Why don't people have personal FTL drives so I could just disappear and reappear in some dark corner on the Normandy? Better yet, some dark corner down in Engineering on the Rayya. Then her thoughts took a different tack and a flash of jealously coursed through her. The feeling went unrecognized, however. I wonder if he is speaking from personal experience, with his kuzo'yar of a girlfriend. I shouldn't ask him that. "So does your girlfriend do that to you?" WHY did I just ASK that?!

Shepard spit out his last mouthful of beer all over the remains of his dinner. What the fuck? Is she just yanking my chain because I explained that to her like she was a stupid little kid? Or is she honestly just curious because she's never heard of it before? I don't expect it to be that first one, since she's never said something like that to me before, but I think the second one is worse! How the hell do I get outta this one? I'm pretty sure Beth would be super-pissed if she knew I was talking about our sex life, or rather more accurately, lack thereof, to one of the girls in my squad. And a really hot girl, no less. Fuck. "Ah. Er. Well, uh . . ." Oh real fucking smooth, Spike. Try saying something coherent the next time you open your damn mouth.

He took a deep breath, and then started again. "Actually Tali, she doesn't. But I don't really want to talk about whatever my girlfriend and I do, or don't do, in private. Okay?"

Tali nodded mutely, still in shock at what she had just said. She scrambled for a different topic. "That's, um, fine, Spike. Can you tell me more about your girlfriend?"

Shepard nodded, somewhat relieved by the change in topics. I don't really want to talk about Beth right now, but hey, it's Tali. I have the hardest damn time shutting her down about anything. Even when she goes off about the Tantalus's positive flux west capacitor or some shit that I cannot fucking follow. She's just too damn cute! Right, Beth. Focus on Beth, talk about Beth. "Anything specific you wanted to know?"

Tali had done some research on human relationships during the hour she was waiting for Shepard. I know that the "how they met" story is usually important, and I do want to know more about what she looks like, and how nice she is. She must be amazing if Spike is courting her. "How did you meet her?" She asked, before she started switching out the empty food container for the full wine container.

"Well actually, she is the younger sister of this guy I knew, Brian. He and I met at basic, and just sort of hit it off. Since I didn't really have a family to go home to, he sorta just brought me along with him whenever he would head back. Long story short, I apparently made an impression on Bethany, and a few months ago, she told me that she liked me." Well, I guess kissing me out of the blue is more showing me she liked me, but eh, close enough. "We agreed to give it a try."

"That sounds . . . nice, Spike." I wonder how long she had to hide her feelings for him before she was able to tell him that she cared for him. That must have been hard. "I don't have a brother, obviously, older or younger, but I feel like in most species, older siblings tend to look out for their younger counterparts. How did your friend Brian react when you, or his sister, told him that you were courting her?"

Shepard held up a hand. "Whoa whoa whoa, Tali, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. I wasn't courting her." He saw her look of confusion, and then realized what the problem might be. "To explain, in our culture, courting means you're seriously looking to marry somebody. Dating, what Beth and I are doing, is where you just try to get to know enough about each other that you can see if there's potential for a life together to succeed."

"Oh. For quarians, courting is the first stage of forming a bond. I don't think we really have an equivalent to 'dating.'"

"Huh. So how does that work, then?"

Tali sighed. "It's a very confusing process, even to the people undergoing it. I think you probably have to be quarian to understand."

Well damn. That sounded pretty interesting, too. I wonder how many stages there are? "Fair enough, but can I ask one more question?" She nodded, so he continued. "You said 'stage' like there are discrete, easily identifiable steps. Is that the case? And if so, how many 'stages' are there before you get to be bonded to someone?"

I can probably answer that. "There are three stages. Once both quarians have made it through all three, they are bonded by their ship's Captain, and then they will be together forever."

That sounds . . . idyllic. Probably pretty nice, too. But are they really together forever? "Forever? What about divorce?"

I remember seeing that on the extranet. Tali shuddered. "There is no such thing, for quarians. No quarian would ever even entertain the notion of leaving their bondmate."

Really nice then. I never really saw the point of divorce anyway. Just don't be an idiot, and marry the right person. How hard can it be? "Was there anything else you wanted to know? And how's the wine?"

"It's very good, thank you. How's your beer? And yes, I wanted to know more about her, your girlfriend. What does she look like? What does she do? What do the two of you do during your time together?" She suddenly flushed as she remembered his earlier words. "I mean, what do you do when you are just passing the time?"

He laughed. "Firstly, my beer is not bad. As to some of your other questions, let me show you a holo. He typed in a few commands to his omni-tool, and a small holograph popped up.

I was right. Tali thought sadly. She is beautiful. Much prettier than Ashley, anyway. Although maybe I'm being unkind to Ashley because she scares me a little. And because she is so forthright in her desire to be with Spike. I don't quite know why that upsets me, but it does.

Shepard deactivated his omni-tool then answered her other questions. "As for what she does, I think I mentioned last time that she's an engineer, or trying to be. She went to college, and got a degree in something cutting-edge, then joined the Alliance. She's graduating from basic soon, right now she's in that last part where she starts to get some specialized training in her chosen field of expertise. Even once that's done, though, she'll still probably end up avoiding the front lines. She's too intelligent to risk out in the field."

He drained the last of his beer, and then continued. "And in what little free-time I ever have, I like to keep it low-key. Occasionally we go out to dinner, but usually we just sit at home and watch a vid or read something together on the couch. Usually one of us cooks something halfway decent, and we just relax. It's really nice. Well, from my perspective at least."

That sounds so nice. I would probably believe that I had died and passed on to live with the Ancestors if I got to spend entire evenings just sitting next to him, stroking his body, feeling his powerful arms pulling me closer. Mmmm. I should wait until I get back to the ship to fantasize about that, though. I have the real thing sitting right in front of me, right now.

"Hey Tali, are you about done? I was thinking about heading back to the ship soon, make sure Joker hasn't absconded with it."

She laughed warmly. "Okay." As he leaned down to pay their bill, a sudden thought struck her. "Oh, Spike?" He nodded without looking up. "You never answered one of my earlier questions."

"And what was that?" He said as they stood to leave and started walking for the door.

"You never said how your friend Brian reacted when he found out that you were 'dating' his sister." Her stomach immediately plunged into a boiling pit as she saw grief contort his face into a look of pure pain. Quicker than she could believe, a colder, more neutral look replaced it

"He wasn't around to see it." He said softly, looking at her for a brief moment before he turned and scanned the area for the nearest fast-transit station.

Oh Ancestors, does he have no one left? Is there anyone that he has cared for who hasn't passed into the beyond? He must feel so . . . alone. She followed him to the taxi, every fiber of her being calling out to hold him, to embrace him, to drive away his pain. Instead, she clutched her arms tightly to her chest, and wondered what other secrets he hid that were too painful to share.