Chapter 25

Shouts of "Commander!" "Shepard!" and "Skipper!" woke Shepard the next day. He sat up groggily, rubbing his head. Fucking hell. I can hear you yelling, for the love of god please stop pounding on the door. He looked around and saw Garrus slumped over onto the table. Both of the once-full bottles of alcohol were empty and laying atop the table right next to the turian. Christ. Shepard chuckled twice. We really tied one on last night. I suppose I can understand why the crew's trying to break down the door. He stood up, and then winced as the room spun. Placing one hand on his desk to steady himself, he slowly made his way over to the door.

Shepard hit the haptic interface and leaned on the doorframe as soon as it opened. "Hey guys, where's the fire?" In response, Doctor Chakwas, Kaidan, and Ashley all started talking at once.

"Commander, have you seen Garrus? We were supposed to go over some adjustments to the Mako's suspension this morning, but he didn't show up. It's not like him to no-show. I asked around, but no one else has seen him either." Kaidan kept nervously glancing back over his shoulder, as though Garrus was going to magically appear from the elevator.

"Shepard, your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" Doctor Chakwas's voice was stern, as was her norm whenever she was talking to the commanding officer.

"Skipper!" Ashley let out a huge sigh of relief. "I haven't seen you all day, and I was starting to get worried. You don't sleep in!" She took a step closer to Shepard, eager to help in whatever way she could.

"Ach. Easy, you guys." Shepard rubbed his temple where his painful headache had turned into a debilitating migraine as a result of their cacophonous assault. For fuck's sake, shut the fuck up. Your yammering makes me want to kill myself. "One at a time, please." He pointed to Kaidan. "You first, and no need to yell."

"Right." Kaidan nodded. "I'm worried about Garrus, Commander. He isn't one to shirk his responsibilities, but he was nowhere to be seen this morning at the Mako. I even checked inside."

Ashley scoffed. "What can you expect from a turian?" She mumbled under her breath.

Shepard, despite his condition, caught her words. "Stow it, Ashley. Another comment like that and I throw you in the nearest escape pod and hit the eject button." He turned back to Kaidan. Now what the fuck am I gonna say about why Garrus is passed the fuck out on my table? I'd probably have a much better explanation if my goddamn brain wasn't trying to leak out through my ears. "As far as Garrus goes, he was unavailable because of me. I asked him to go over some mission reports and tactical maneuvers with me last night. We got a bit carried away, and we both ended up asleep at my table." Not the whole truth, but damn good for the size of the hangover I'm suffering from. He turned to Chakwas who was standing in the middle. "Doc?"

"Were you drinking, Shepard?" She asked, carefully examining his puffy face and bloodshot eyes.

"Of course not." She may piss me off at times, but I gotta give the doc some credit. She goes right for the jugular. Shepard mustered a smile. "Drinking on the ship is against regs. Like I told Kaidan, we were working late into the night." He saw her continue to examine his face. "And if I look like hell, it's because sleeping face down on a table does shit for your complexion. Not the most restful night of sleep I've ever had, that's for goddamn sure." And that's not even a lie. Before the good doctor could respond, he turned to Ashley. "Ash?"

"I was just really worried, Skipper." Her arm twitched out towards him, but was quickly reigned in and held immobile at her side. "I'm used to seeing you down in the cargo bay bright and early, working out. Not seeing you was just a big surprise, is all."

"Sure. Understandable." A little over the top, given that she's seen me get shot, punched, and otherwise bodily abused during her time onboard. But I guess I appreciate the sentiment. Now if she could just shut up about the alien bullshit, she'd be tolerable 24/7. "But after last night's cramming session, I just couldn't do the bright and early shit today. We've been going non-stop for the last two weeks, and I needed a bit of a lie-in. Maybe not the most professional thing, but I'm no use to anybody if I'm falling asleep in the field."

Ashley nodded, as did Kaidan. Chakwas continued to stare at Shepard with narrowed eyes. "That may be true, but then where is Garrus?" She asked.

"That's easy. He's still in his chair. We were up late discussing tactics, like I said, and he's still sleeping. Like I would be, if you all hadn'ta woken me up." And like I quite possibly may be doing again as soon as you people leave me the fuck alone.

"We were just worried, Skipper." This time, it was Ashley who spoke. "I'm- well, we're, glad that you're alright."

"And Garrus too." Kaidan added.

Chakwas added her own two cents. "Yes, Commander. We hope to see both you and Garrus up and among us in the very near future."

"I can practically guarantee it." Shepard smiled. Wait, where the hell's Joker? "And I coulda sworn I heard Joker's voice when I was waking up. Where is he?"

"I'm up here, Commander." Joker's voice came out of the intercom in Shepard's cabin. "You're not that important, Shepard. I could hardly leave my baby alone just to come look for you."

Shepard laughed. "Alright, Joker. Since I've got you on the horn, what's our ETA to the Armstrong Nebula?"

"Four hours. More, depending on if you want to get to the other side of the Cluster."

"Nope. Just start at the first system. Keep your eyes and ears peeled for any sign of the geth. You get so much as a whiff of their chattering little asses; I want to know about it ASAP. You read me?"

"Aye aye, el capitano. Er, I mean, el commandero. Shit, that doesn't sound right." Joker continued to mutter to himself as he deactivated the intercom.

Shepard turned back to the three people in front of him. "As for you three, I thank you all for your support. Now if you don't mind, I'm gonna go check on Garrus and then grab a shower." He turned around without another word, and disappeared into his cabin. The door closed, and the haptic interface ticked red.

"I suppose that means we're dismissed." Alenko said to Ashley. She shrugged back in response.

Doctor Chakwas walked away mumbling, while the two marines headed back towards the elevator.

Inside the cabin, Shepard walked back to where Garrus still sat, with his face buried in the table and his arms stretched out across it to the other side. Shepard reached out and tapped Garrus on the shoulder. "Garrus. Hey, buddy, wake up." The turian stirred feebly. Shepard pressed harder. "Garrus, get up. Dude, get off my table." The turian growled quietly, but otherwise did not respond.

God damn! What the hell was in that hwoon danh shit he was drinking? He really needs to get to his duty station before more crewmembers start asking questions. Shepard suddenly chuckled. I can just imagine the rumors. "Shepard's having gay sex with the turian!" "Shepard's gay!" "Shepard's a xenophile!" Although to be fair, thinking about some of the incredibly sexy female aliens I've met, to say nothing of the two on board the Normandy, that last one probably wouldn't be far off the mark. But I really don't need that kind of hassle.

Shepard grabbed Garrus roughly by the shoulder and shook him. "Garrus, wake the hell up!" In an instant, the turian awoke from his slumber and assumed a crouched, predatory position. His right hand shot out towards Shepard, talons outstretched and looking to draw blood. Shepard stepped in towards the strike and grabbed Garrus's outstretched arm with his left. Holy fuck! What the hell is Garrus doing? Is this the part where he turns on me and tries to kill me? Maybe he's just out of it. Who knows what fucking shit they put in that turian booze. He shifted his grip down to the turian's wrist, and used his free hand to slap his friend's face.

Instantly, Garrus's eyes focused on Shepard. "Commander?"

"Good to see you again, Garrus." Shepard smiled. "How you feelin' today?"

"Like you ran me over with the Mako a few dozen times." Garrus dragged one hand over his sore cheek. "Um, why did you slap me? And why are you holding my hand?"

"Technically I'm holding your wrist." Always fun to be pedantic in the morning. And apparently, he wasn't trying to execute some sort of secret assassination plan. He was just out of it. Can't say I fucking blame him. "And the only reason I'm doing that is because you tried to gut me with that hand. Coincidentally, that also answers your other question. I slapped you in the fucking face because I wanted to see if you were just having trouble coming out of your liquor-induced stupor. I was really hoping to not have to kill you."

Garrus snatched his hand back. "Spirits help me! I didn't mean for that to happen. It must have been the hwoon danh. I haven't had that much to drink since I was a recruit."

"Oh? Do turians haze?"

Garrus took a second to let his translator work that one out. "Yes we do, Shepard." His face turned crestfallen. "I apologize for my actions. I have no excuse."

Shepard sighed. "God damn it, Garrus, I don't give a shit!" This caused the turian to start, and look up. "Look, you need to lighten the fuck up. If you keep worrying about every little thing that goes wrong, or every little mistake you make, you're gonna end up giving yourself a fucking stroke, or heart attack, or whatever the hell the equivalents to those things are for turians. Seriously. Shit goes wrong, and we fuck up. It happens. If you beat yourself up over it, you're never gonna get anywhere. You understand me, Mr. Vakarian?" Shepard fixed his friend with a hard glare. And now my head feels even worse. Thanks a lot, Mr. Grumpy Garrus.

"I understand, Shepard. And thank you again, for everything." At Shepard's quirked eyebrow, Garrus continued. "You didn't have to help me with Dr. Saleon, but you did. You helped to make me realize that the right thing to do was to try to bring him in to the Citadel. You even gave me a way to forget my troubles for a time. And you keep trying to give me advice. So, thank you."

"You're welcome, Garrus." Shepard smiled. "And if half of what I remember from last night is right, we're in this together. Brothers in arms or something similar, right?"

"Definitely." Garrus offered his hand to Shepard who shook it, looking surprised. "I should go get cleaned up. I'll see you later."

Shepard let Garrus see himself out, and then grinned at the closed door. I may just make a man outta Garrus yet. His skills are impressive, but he needs to get a little more confidence. If I can help him get there, and get him not to take everything so seriously, he's gonna be a hell of a leader someday. C-Sec or the turian military or wherever the hell he ends up are gonna be damn fucking lucky to have him.

Shepard made his way up to the bridge. Whoever invented the shower is a fucking god. My head still hurts like shit, but at least I can fucking move again. "Hey Joker. How we doin'?"

"Not too bad, Commander. Nice cover this morning, by the way." The pilot grinned up at his C.O.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, helmsman." Shepard refused to look down at the diminutive man.

"Uh huh. You do remember that the intercom runs throughout the whole ship, right?"

"Were you spying on me, Joker?"

"Of course not. I am an Alliance pilot, and as such would never think to spy on my Commanding Officer." Joker laughed. "If, however, I thought I heard said Commanding Officer requesting my assistance, I would of course be obligated to open up a channel to his quarters. And man, was it worth it."

"Spin it however you like, Joker." Sheppard cracked a grin. "You're still a devious little man. But if I catch you spying on me again, we will be exchanging words." Shepard's grin disappeared. "And I tend to prefer non-verbal means of communication." He cracked his knuckles menacingly.

Joker swallowed hard. "Sheesh. Lighten up, Commander."

Shepard chuckled. "Ya know, I said something just like that to Garrus earlier."

"Yeah, I heard. Maybe you should take your own advice."

Shepard patted his pilot on the shoulder. "I will, Joker. It's just been a rough couple of days." Joker stared incredulously up at him. "Alright, maybe it's been a tough couple of weeks." Yeah, that just might be the understatement of the fucking year. "Either way, we'll get some downtime eventually. Next time we're back on the Citadel I'm making everybody take at least 24 hours of R&R." And that's gonna include me. I might just sit in my cabin and get Chakwas to dose me with something to keep me out for the whole 24 hours. God damn, that sounds pretty fucking amazing right now.

"Sounds good to me, Commander!"

"Somehow I knew it would." Shepard chuckled. "ETA?"

"A shade under two hours."

"Alright. I'll be in my cabin until we get there." Fucking mission reports. Worst fucking part of this job. Fucking bullshit. They should have, like, voice reports or something, where we just talk about how the mission went, record that shit, then send it in. Instead, we're stuck using some anachronistic relic of the 19th fucking century or some shit. Fuck. I guess complaining isn't gonna make them go away. Without another word to his pilot, he turned and left.