Chapter 28
"What do you mean; I'm not coming with you?" Tali asked Shepard, putting her hands on her hips and giving her commander a look that could penetrate dreadnought armor from a hundred paces.
"I mean, you're going back to the Normandy, Tali. Liara and Garrus are coming with me for this one." Shepard sighed. Sometimes, I fucking hate being right. I knew she wasn't gonna like this plan. I already brought her along while we were cleaning up some of the scummier parts of this fucking place. Goddamn suits and bureaucrats. Noveria's a fucking cesspool. Give me a straight up fight any day of the week. Granted, I did get some new armor out of the deal. It's only fair of Parasini, after all. Seeing as my old armor was fucked up like nobody's business by that bitch in the Synthetic Insights office while I was doing Parasini's job for her. Gah. That Explorer armor was absolute crap against biotics. This Guardian shit doesn't seem too much better though. Why is everything I own rubbish?
"Why, Spike?"
"Because Liara has the right to come with me on this one. It's her mom, Tali!"
Tali had to agree with his logic. "Then why are you bringing Garrus instead of me?"
"Look, Tali, I don't know what's waiting up there." Once again, zero fucking intel. Which seems to be the default fucking way of doing things anytime Saren's involved. Pain in my fucking ass is what it is. I don't know if there's gonna be geth up there, and that's Tali's strongest enemy. Garrus is just more versatile. Hell, I should probably bring Wrex, tactically speaking, but I've noticed Liara and Garrus talking a lot, and if things go south with Benezia I need somebody who can console Liara. And that's a good reason to speak aloud, moron. "And I need someone who can talk Liara down if Benezia fights us. I'm not any good at that sentimental stuff, and I've noticed that those two seem to get along pretty well. Thus, they're the two who're coming with me."
Tali was quiet for a minute. "Fine. But I'll be watching the mission with Joker. If you," Wait, I can't make him uncomfortable with me again. Things are just now getting back to normal between us, after whatever that was in his cabin the other night. I will not make him uncomfortable again! So the way to do that is to focus on everyone, not just him. "If any of you, get hurt, I will be very unhappy."
Shepard smirked. It's good to know she cares. I wonder if she cares about Liara and Garrus and me, or just me? A mildly unsavory part of me is kinda hoping that her concern is mostly limited to just me. Is that wrong? Yeah, probably. "We'll be fine, Tali. I'm sure Liara will be able to talk some sense into her mom. Hell, we might even come back from this with another crewmember!" Now that would be awesome, even if that statement was initially intended as some false bravado so Tali doesn't worry. But come on, an asari matriarch, the person who probably taught Liara, and someone who was once in Saren's camp? I'd wager that that'd be pretty useful in tracking down Saren. So why do I have this terrible feeling like nothing's gonna go right on this mission?
The airlock opened, and Shepard walked back onto the Normandy. Behind him, Garrus was holding up a sobbing Liara, as he had been ever since the trio left Peak 15. Shepard had walked through Port Hanshan with his shotgun in one hand and his pistol in the other, promising a painful death to anyone who got in between his team and the Normandy. The asari, turian, and human had therefore made it back to the Normandy in record time, and completely unmolested.
Tali walked out of the cockpit and saw Shepard, Garrus, and Liara. "Keelah! What happened to your armor, Shepard?"
Shepard gave her a wry grin. "I thought you were watching the mission the whole time?"
"I was. I was watching it through your helmet cam feed, though, not Garrus or Liara."
"Huh. Why'd you do that?"
"Um." I can't tell him that I did that because it made me feel closer to him. That would surely make him uncomfortable. "I wanted to see what you see, during a fight. I was hoping it would help me to understand and predict your orders during battle."
"That's really smart, Tali." Shepard gave her a wide smile as he said this. "Hey Garrus, why don't you get Liara downstairs and situated? I'll deal with Joker and the Council."
The turian nodded, and began helping Liara aft. Tali and Shepard both turned to watch, before the pilot's voice turned them forward again.
"I'm hurt, Commander. How can you lump me in with the Council? I, unlike them, know my head from my ass."
Shepard laughed. "Too true, Joker. Waaaay too true. But I just meant I needed to stay up here to tell you where to go."
"Uh huh. And where is that?"
"The Citadel. I need to talk to Anderson and some other people about stuff, and I think we all need a break."
"Amen, brother!"
Shepard rolled his eyes at his pilot's exuberance. "Get me the Council on the horn in the comm room. After I finish with those morons, tell the ground crew to report there for our debriefing."
"Okey-dokey."
Shepard and Tali left the pilot and headed towards the CIC. "Shepard, what happened to your armor?"
"Oh, right." He looked down at the pitted, gouged, and warped armor. "Turns out you really do get what you pay for. This free armor is shit. The rachni ripped it to shreds." And wasn't that just the greatest goddamn surprise ever. Fucking rachni! They're supposed to be extinct. Seriously, what the hell is up? Geth are seen outside the veil for the first time in centuries, a millennia-old ugly-ass mind-controlling plant is discovered, and a supposedly extinct species is rediscovered. Did Saren pop open a portal to the twilight zone or something?
And speaking of rachni, I reaaaaally hope that that decision doesn't come back to bite me in the ass. I know I probably shoulda just killed that queen, and I'm sure the Council and Wrex will have some choice words about letting her get away, but I just couldn't do it. First, if there's one rachni, there's more rachni; thus having a rachni queen who owes me a pretty big favor is probably a good thing. Second, my internal bullshit-o-meter was dead quite while she was talking; leading me to believe that everything she said was the truth. And third, if she was the last of her species, I just didn't feel up to some genocide today. The rachni, and her in particular, never did anything to me. "Hey Tal, I'm gonna take the call with the Council by myself. See you later?" He said, remembering that the quarian engineer was still next to him.
She nodded. "Bye, Shepard." As he walked away, she turned to XO Pressly and started to talk to him. I wonder how long it will take Spike to talk to the Council? She thought idly, not having any idea as to just how short the conversation would be.
Shepard strode into the comm room and waited for the Council to appear. A few seconds later, their holograms popped into life.
"Commander." The asari started. "We do not approve of being disconnected. We are the Council, and we will be treated with respect."
Ya know, I was gonna give them a proper debriefing this time. But since they're gonna play the "high and mighty" card, I'm gonna play the "fuck off" card.
"I'm – can't - you. Must be – through - tunnel. Try – later." Taking his cue, Joker ended the communication. Both Shepard and Joker burst into laughter. In the cockpit, Joker was wiping tears from his eyes, while Shepard was rolling on the floor clutching his sides.
It really wasn't that funny. Shepard thought idly while he was on the floor. But the look on their faces was fucking priceless. And I haven't pranked somebody in way too long. That was great!
"Oh shit, Commander." Joker finally spoke over the intercom when he had caught a bit of breath. "That was hilarious!" He burst out laughing again. "I gotta remember that one."
"Thanks." Shepard said from his spot on the floor. "Perfect timing, by the way. Would you mind sending out the message for the team to meet me here?"
"I live to serve, Shepard." Joker ended their connection, and chuckled once before opening up a shipwide channel. "Ground team; please report to the comm room for a debriefing. You know who you are."
From where she was talking to Pressly, Tali had been able to hear rolling peals of laughter from both the cockpit and the comm room. That worries me. Shepard should not be laughing in front of the Council, they are never intentionally funny. What happened? Hearing Joker's announcement, she excused herself from the XO and walked into the comm room, only to find Shepard lying on the floor.
"Spike! Are you okay?" She shouted, rushing over to him.
He cracked open an eye. "Of course, Tali. I'm just relaxing a bit."
"Oh." She said, suddenly embarrassed that she had run over and knelt by his side so quickly. What came over me? I know Shepard is strong enough to survive more than a conversation with the Council. Actually, that was a very quick conversation, considering how much he had to tell them. "How did the Council take the news of Benezia's death and the rachni's release, Commander?" His sudden burst of laughter was a surprising answer.
"They took it really well, Tali." Seeing Tali's confused look made him laugh all the harder. "Or rather, I'm gonna assume that they would have if I had told them."
"You didn't tell the Council? Why not?" She cocked her head to the side, indicating to Shepard her complete loss at his words and actions.
"Well, I just didn't get a chance. They were being bitchy, so I felt it was my duty to put them in their place."
"You did what?" Tali was shocked. While she didn't think highly of the Council, they were still incredibly powerful.
"I had a little fun with them, then hung up on them." He burst into laughter again.
"What exactly did you say to them, Spike?"
He was too busy laughing to respond. After some time, he managed to choke out an, "Ask Joker," before he succumbed to laughter once again. She was about to do just that, when the door opened and Ashley and Kaidan walked in.
"Are you alright, Skipper?" Ashley asked, concerned.
Shepard waved her concern away. Finally, he stopped laughing and asked for Tali to pull him up. She did so, before he turned to Ashley. "I'm fine. Just having a good laugh is all." He went over and took his seat. The other three did the same, and they passed the time in silence until Wrex came in, followed by Garrus and Liara shortly thereafter.
"Let's get this show on the road, gang." Shepard announced.
Shortly after the debriefing, Shepard and Tali were both reading messages that made their nerves hum with electricity.
Tali's letter was from her Auntie Raan. She found a quiet corner of the hangar bay and opened it up.
"My dear Tali,
I'm glad to hear that your Pilgrimmage is going so well. I can't wait to see you again, and hear all about your new ship and the people with whom you're serving. I talked with Kal'Reegar, and he was quite pleased to hear about your success as well. However, he gave me some interesting information that I wanted to pass on to you, to do with as you please. He was able to figure out who you are currently serving with, and noted that that man has two interesting titles. The first, you probably already know. 'The Hero of the Skyllian Blitz.' The second is more of a name whispered in shadow, and does make me worry about you; there are people who call him 'The Butcher.'
I also want to tell you that, as far as that 'personal' matter you mentioned in your last letter, please don't worry. I do not believe that it will put you, or your shipmates, in danger. I know that my answer isn't exactly what you wanted, but trust me, you'll be fine.
Love,
Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay"
By the Ancestors, Auntie! Was that really the best you could do? Argh! At least I won't be a danger to my team. Most likely. Why did she mention that part about Spike's titles? Maybe she's trying to tell me something. I have no idea what it could be, though. Why would Spike be called a butcher? I understand that he is dangerous, but he would never do anything evil. Would he? Her hands started making knots with each other and her heart was pounding. She pulled her hands apart and forced herself to calm down and write a response.
"Aunt Shala,
I can't wait to see you again, as well. Thank you for your kind words. I do wish you could have been more specific about what I experienced, but I understand your meaning. I hope things on the Flotilla are going well, and give my love to Father.
Love,
Tali"
She read the letter over once, and then hit send.
At the same time, in his cabin, Shepard was struggling to understand a letter from his girlfriend.
"Spike,
I need to see you as soon as possible. I know you're busy, but I need to see you in person. Please come to Arcturus as soon as you can. I'm really sorry to take you out of your way, but I promise I wouldn't bother you if it wasn't important.
Beth"
What is this about? Did the Alliance find something about the Lees? Were they turned into those husk things? Fuck, that would be shitty. I hope it's not that. What in the fuck is this about? I guess there's only one way to find out. With a sigh, Shepard activated the intercom. "Joker."
"Yeah?"
"A little change of plan. We need to make a quick stop on Arcturus."
"Alrighty then. Can I ask why?"
"Sure. Shepard out." Shepard ended the conversation abruptly. He leaned back in his chair, looking forward to some downtime. Thank god I finally got outta that armor. I can't believe I need to buy more, already. The Alliance needs to give me a raise for hazard pay or something. Seriously, who woulda guessed that so-called "Guardian" armor couldn't guard its way out of a wet paper bag? Certainly not me.