Chapter 29
A knock on his door brought Shepard back to an upright position. For fuck's sake. Can't a guy get two fucking seconds to himself? I swear to everything that's holy, I'm gonna turn my fucking omni-tool off and hide out at some shitty hotel for the first 24 hours we're on the Citadel. "Enter!" He called out, putting an end to his internal pity party.
The door slid open to reveal Alenko and Williams. "Come in." Shepard said simply, and then waved them forward.
As they entered the small cabin, Shepard got up from his chair and moved to his bed, gesturing for the two newcomers to take the only two chairs in the room. Plopping down on the edge of his bed, he waited for the other two to get situated.
"Alright guys, what can I help you with? Kaidan, is Ash questioning your masculinity again? Because I've already told her to stop once, it's up to you to enforce it now." Ha ha. Twenty credits on Williams in that fight.
Grimacing at the joke, Kaidan shook his head.
"Skipper, we wanted to talk to you about the missions." Ashley took the initiative and started the conversation, since Alenko's posture and downturned gaze indicated supreme reticence.
"Go ahead. You have concerns about whether we'll be able to catch Saren? Because I'm telling you, we'll get him. You just have to trust me." And when we catch him, I'll gut him like a fish. Then, I'll let Chakwas patch him up so the Council can interrogate his ass.
"We believe you, Skipper. I guess it's more that I," Ashley hesitated and looked at Kaidan before continuing, "I mean we, want to talk to you about how much you've been bringing the aliens along with you on missions. Instead of us. The three of us haven't gone out together since Eden Prime."
"Not true." Shepard countered. "I brought you with me when we went to the Citadel after Eden Prime." Is she seriously gonna waste my time by bitching about not spending enough time with me? We're not dating, you daft wench! We're chasing down a deranged mass-murderer who's hell-bent on exterminating humanity! Get your fucking priorities in order, woman.
"You did, Commander." Ashley conceded his point. "But as soon as you found a couple of aliens who wanted to join up with us, that was it. We haven't seen the outside of the ship since."
Oh good, maybe I was wrong. It's just her classic "I hate aliens" spiel. "Ash, who I bring with me when I go ground-side is my prerogative. I don't have to explain myself to you," he looked over at Kaidan, "or you, Kaidan. It's one of the perks of command." One of the only perks I've found so far. Well, that and my sweet cabin. No hot bunking and a personal shower? Yes please.
"Commander, we've been with you longer than any of the aliens. We were with you on Eden Prime. We deserve to know why you're not taking us with you."
"Oh, you deserve it, do you Ashley? I'm sorry; I must have missed that memo." Shepard's voice was caustic, and his gray eyes were icy. Fucking bitch is gonna get it now. Who does she think she is, to tell me what she deserves? "In that case, let me tell you all about it. I bring Tali along because she's never met a geth she couldn't hack, and I happen to like letting the bad guys kill each other. Makes my job easier, ya know? And I bring Garrus because he's the best sniper on this squad, excepting myself. Plus, quite aside from their skills, they both know how to follow orders no questions asked. Is that enough explanation for you, Williams?" When he finished speaking, Shepard continued to glare at Ashley, daring her to meet his eyes.
"Commander." Kaidan spoke up for the first time since he entered the commander's quarters.
"Alenko. You finally have something to say?" Shepard turned his cold gaze to the other man in the room.
"Sir. I just want to know why you bring the others instead of me, so that I can do what I need to in order to prove myself to you and earn my spot on this team."
Kaidan's words calmed Shepard down, a little. I wonder if he secretly agrees with Ashley, and is just trying to keep me from tossing the both of 'em out the airlock? Or maybe he genuinely wants to contribute to taking Saren down. Hell, maybe he just wants a piece of the action so he'll get promoted when all this is done. He's probably telling the truth, though. Neither of these two marines have anything closely resembling a good poker face.
"Ok, Kaidan, I can respect that. Do you have anything specific you want to know?"
"Could you perhaps talk me through that first time on the Citadel? I thought we worked well together during the mission on Eden Prime, but you were pretty quick to replace us with Vakarian and Wrex."
"Alright. So we got to the Citadel, we were tracking down info on Saren, and we ran into Garrus. I really liked the way he handled that situation in the Med Clinic. He was being patient, waiting for an opening, and as soon as one presented itself, he moved. I wanted to see if he could follow orders as well as he could improvise, so I figured taking him along for a while was the best call. Since he told me he had some skill with tech, he was a logical substitute for you, rather than for Ashley. Does that make sense?"
"Yes, Commander. You were just trying to balance the strengths and weaknesses of the team."
"But why did you replace me with Wrex when you went to take on Fist?" Ashley found it impossible to hold her tongue any longer. "I'm a soldier, through-and-through. He's just some krogan mercenary."
"Firstly, Ashley, he's more than just 'some krogan mercenary.' If you talked to him at all, you'd know that." Actually, I reckon I'm about due for another chat with Wrex. It's been a while since we had some free time. I'll have to make sure I set some time aside for him when we get to the Citadel. His countenance darkened again as he turned towards her. "And secondly, the reasoning is the same as what I just told Kaidan, weren't you listening?" She shook her head tersely.
"Fine, I'll explain it again. Try to listen this time." The scowl she sent his way at these words was put to shame by his glare. "Wrex is like a walking tank. Krogan are ridiculously hard to take down, and have amazing regenerative abilities. I needed a heavy-hitter, and it doesn't get any heavier than a krogan battlemaster. I knew what you could do in combat, having worked with you on Eden Prime. But he was an unknown. I wanted to see what kind of a fighter I was dealing with. Hopefully I was testing out a potential team member, but if not, it never hurts to have additional first-person experience with the fighting styles of potential enemies. Plus, he was going after Fist whether I was with him or not. Why not take advantage of that fact?"
"Fine." Ashley said with a huff.
"Commander, that makes sense. After you took down Fist, though, why didn't you send for either or both of us?" Kaidan tried to draw Shepard's attention away from Ashley. "We would have come back to help you, if you had asked."
"I don't doubt it, Kaidan. But firstly, we were under a severe time constraint. Fist's thugs were going to meet with Tali, kill her, and take the evidence she had on her within minutes. It would have taken too long for either of you to get back. Secondly, I figured that the best way to ensure Tali's safety would be to spring the trap that Fist had set. Wrex was just the person to bring along, seeing as he could barge into the middle of a trap, get caught in the crossfire, and live to tell about it. I don't think I could say the same about anyone else on this team. And lastly, Garrus is dextro-DNA, just like Tali. So on the off chance that we were too late, or that we couldn't kill the baddies before they got a shot off, I wanted someone with me who would hopefully have some idea about how to help her. Savvy?"
"Sorry, Commander, what was that last bit?" Kaidan asked perplexedly.
"'Savvy.'" Shepard explained. "Old English lingo used by pirates who sailed Earth's seas, means 'do you understand?'"
"Oh. Then yes, Commander, I understand." Kaidan answered.
"Ok, fine, you wanted to see what the aliens could do. But why do you keep bringing them with you?" Ashley's anger was back.
"Because every time we've tried to catch Saren or stop Saren or find out what Saren was up to, we run into geth. And like I said, Tali is a genius when it comes to making life hard on synthetics." If anything, I'm selling Tali short here. She makes those damn things cry for their mommies.
"But you take her with you all the time!" Ashley complained. "Even when there's no chance of seeing geth anywhere. Do you have a thing for the little alien girl, Commander?" She asked with a sneer.
Do I have a thing for her? Shepard was momentarily lost in his own thoughts. I can't, right? First off, I'm pretty sure I still have a girlfriend. No matter how annoying she's been, we're still together. And even if I were single, nothing could ever come of it anyway, because if she opens up her suit, she could die. So that would be a real fulfilling relationship. 'Hey there baby. How about a kiss?' And then she's dead. Fucking wonderful.
Bringing himself back to the real world, he neatly dodged Ashley's question. "Any private relationship I may have with anyone is none of your business, seeing as it's private. Aside from that, though, do you even know anything about the quarians, Ashley? Why do you think her shields are so strong? Because if she gets a suit rupture, she could die! That's why quarians live inside of a suit their whole lives. Because contact with the outside world kills them!" Alright, maybe I'm laying it on a little thick, but Ashley deserves it. I've had it about up to here with her nonsense on this cruise.
Ashley looked shocked. I can't believe she didn't know. Shepard thought with disgust. She's been on this ship for months (months!) with Tali, and hasn't even bothered to ask her why she wears her suit and helmet all the time? It's no wonder humans have a shitty reputation in the galaxy.
Ashley recovered from her surprise and continued to press the Commander for an answer. "So then why do you take her with you all the time if you're so worried about her dying?"
Shepard sighed, and tried to control his temper. It's not good to get angry with your subordinates, Spike. It makes you look weak. No matter how much they deserve your foot so far up their ass they can taste it. Aloud, he said, "Because her style of fighting fits in well with my preferred method of taking out targets. Garrus and I find a spot at range and take out whatever targets we can. Then we move around to come at them from a different side, and go in with guns blazing. Garrus and I are well equipped to deal with longer-range threats, and Tali protects us if anything gets too close. Works well for clearing buildings, too."
"But I can do all that, too, Skipper." Ashley sounded almost plaintive now, less angry.
"I know you can, Ash. But I feel like this team gives me the best chance to come out alive, no matter what situation I run into. And when I feel like I need a little something different, I'd rather have somebody with biotics. Preferably Wrex, for the reasons I mentioned earlier."
"And if Wrex wasn't available?" She asked.
"Probably Liara." Shepard answered quickly.
"What makes Liara more attractive than me, Commander?" It was Kaidan's turn to ask a question this time.
"Well to be frank, I don't really go in for dicks, LT." Shepard said with a wink at Alenko.
Alenko managed a small smile, then sat and waited for a serious answer.
With a sigh, Shepard gave him one. "It's really close, Kaidan. But when it comes down to it, she has two advantages. One of them isn't something you can do anything about, but the other is." Kaidan continued to look at him expectantly. "The thing you can't do anything about is your implants. I know it's not your fault, but she doesn't have any problem using her biotics all day long without being incapacitated by migraines like you."
Kaidan frowned, knowing Shepard was telling the truth. "You said there was something I could do, Commander? To get better?"
"Yes. That singularity of hers is really handy. It wouldn't hurt for you to try to learn it sometime. I don't know for sure that you can learn it, but if it were me, I'd be begging her for lessons."
"Ok, Commander. I'll see what I can do."
"What about me, Skipper? Is there anything I can do to get more ground time?"
"The only thing I can say, Ash, is to stay ready. You're already one of the best marines I've ever seen, and I think it's a damn shame that the Alliance isn't fast-tracking you, but that's another story. I can't guarantee what will happen in the future, so I don't know if we'll run into a situation where I need somebody who can use any weapon ever invented, or if somebody will need to be replaced or backed-up or something. So yes, for now, you are on the bench. But stay ready, 'cause shit could go south in a hurry at any time. And of course, you could always ask the rest of the team to work with you on some tips, tricks, techniques, and practice. There're some of the best shooters in the galaxy on board this tin can, and it'd be a shame to waste this opportunity. But don't tell Joker I said that about the Normandy."
"What about you, Skipper? Don't you have any tips or tricks you can give me?" She asked sadly.
"Sorry Ash. I'm just naturally this good." He shot her a grin, trying to cheer her up a bit. She still didn't perk up. "It's also years of practice and thousands upon thousands of rounds. If you make it to N7 someday, you'll know what I mean." He stopped there, and waited to see if they had anything else to say.
After a few minutes of silence, he spoke up again. "Thank you for coming to see me about this in private, you two. I respect you a lot for that. You're also lucky that you came to see me in private, because if you had brought this up in front of the rest of the crew, I'da keelhauled you right then and there."
"What exactly does being 'keelhauled' entail, sir?" Kaidan had one last question for the Commander.
"It's another term from the old Earth pirates." A grin lit up Shepard's face as he got to talk some more about pirates. "If you pissed off the pirate captain, he'd tie one end of a rope to the bow, the other end to you, and toss you over the side. Then you'd be dragged along underneath the keel, 'til he decided to pull you up. Well, what was left of you, anyway."
"But we're in space, sir." Kaidan respectfully pointed out.
Shepard's grin turned evil. "I know."
Alenko and Williams just shook their heads and got up to leave. "I think you mighta been born in the wrong time period, Skipper." Ashley said as she went through the door after Kaidan.
"You might be right, Ash." Shepard said softly, before turning back to his mission briefings.