"I'm so done with that boy. I know it's kind of my fault that he doesn't like me, but I just can't deal with him! He totally thinks he's amazing."

I was laying on my back on my sofa, talking to Trish on the phone. I had to go meet Austin in an hour and I really wished I didn't.

"I'm sorry he's such a drag, Ally. I really owe you big time for this one."

"Yes, you do," I told her. "And when I don't have to see him anymore, we're going out and you're paying."

"You want to go out? Man, he's really changing you." I laughed.

It was true. I didn't usually like to go out. I liked being in my flat, watching movies. But hanging around a person who didn't like me made me realize how much I missed hanging out with Trish.

My only friend.

And she loved going out.

"I've got to go, Trish, or I'm going to be late and he's going to murder me. Or throw a party because he thinks I'm not coming. Anyway, I'll talk to you later, yeah?"

"Jup. And Ally?"

"Yeah?"

"Good luck."

I was late. Only a little, but still. I hated being late.

Austin's door was open and I ran in, expecting them to be waiting for me.

They weren't.

Austin was laying on the sofa, just like I had 15 minutes ago. Except his guitar was laying on top of him, and he was softly playing it. I stopped in the door opening, not sure whether to announce my presence or leave.

But I didn't move. He seemed upset. Really upset.

A familiar tune reached my ears, and immediately, tears started to well up in my eyes.

The song he was playing, I recognized it.

Because it was the song that I cried to a million times, when I was 16 and my mother left. The song I cried to at night, for three years, every night in a row. The song that almost immediately brought me to tears, now.

"Was it easier to pack your bags,
And book that flight to Paris as
the plane began to move that afternoon."

I wanted to just leave, I really did. But I couldn't. The only thing I could do is walk to him. He had his eyes closed, and didn't seem to notice me.

"And the kids that you hold, in your arms
With promises to protect them from harm
But they grow, and they go,
and you're all alone.
All the kids, all the kids that you hold.

And it's a shame that it ends this way,
with nothing left to say.
So just sit on your hands, while I walk away.
It's a shame, it's a shame, it's a shame
When my hands begin to shake,
when bitterness is all I taste. "

I sat down on the sofa opposite of him. It seemed to snap him out of his trance, as he opened his eyes and stopped playing. But he didn't sit up. And he didn't tell me to leave.

Maybe because he saw the tears that had formed in my eyes.

"I always sing this song when I think of my father," he said softly. It was barely audibly.

"I miss him a lot, you know. But he chose to leave, and there is nothing I can do about that."

He pointed to a piece of paper on the table. I didn't take it.

"What is it?"

"It's a letter. From my dad." He strummed the guitar strings.

"The one he left me when he left us. He told me he wouldn't forget me, Ally."

I could tell he was on the edge of crying and I really didn't want him to. Not because it was messy or because we weren't friends or because I couldn't do anything for him.

Because I didn't want to see him hurt.

"But he did, didn't he?" I whispered. "My mom did too."

"That why the song…?" He didn't finish his sentence and he didn't have to.

"Yeah. It reminds me of her."

"Me too. Of my dad, then, not of your mom." Despite everything, I laughed. Austin laughed, as well.

He slowly sat up, looking at me.

"Do you see your dad often?" he asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, I do. We're really close." He bit his lip, and then he looked me right in the eyes.

I could feel his look piercing through me, as if he was staring right into my soul.

"Keep him close. When I lost my dad, I lost a piece of my mom, with him. I forgot that it was a hard time for her, too. I still haven't found a way to fix that…part of her. The missing part."

He sounded so incredibly sad.

This was the first time Austin felt like a normal human to me. Right now, he wasn't the pop star or the guy that didn't trust me or the guy that was being a dick.

He was being a guy consumed by the kind of grief I was all too familiar with.

And so I smiled at him.

"I will." I thought about that for a while.

"I do think my dad and I have a special relationship. When mom was gone, we needed to find a way to live without her. That was difficult. But now, I don't think I could live with another person. We have found a way together, living together but not living our entire lives together, you know?"

I was going to add something else. But Austin interrupted me.

"Ally, has someone ever told you that you talk too much?"

Offended, I made a sound that sounded like a puff. Just like that, we were back at where we started.

Without saying a word, I stood up, making my way out. I turned to look over my shoulder one last time before turning the corner.

And I felt my heart freeze. I could see tears in Austin's eyes. I could tell that he was trying to hide them from me, biting his lip, turning his head away when he saw me looking.

Was that why he had snapped at me? Did he want to have me gone so he could cry?

Maybe he wasn't just a plain jerk, maybe he was only a jerk because he had been hurt.

I always tried to see the good in people. And today was the first day I could think of a reason for Austin's behaviour. And it was actually quite a good reason, too.

He hadn't just lost his dad, he had lost his mom too, a little bit. They were still close, I could tell by the way Mimi looked at him.

But I could also see something else in her eyes.

Something like… regret, maybe. Because when she looked at him, she was reminded of a part of her life that she didn't want to be reminded of. She was reminded of that hurt, that I knew all too well.

I was torn between going back to make Austin feel better, or leaving him to it. I decided that I didn't know him well enough to go back.

But I couldn't help but feel a little guilty, as I stepped into the elevator.

Because for some reason, seeing Austin hurt, it kind of hurt me too.

Austin had nothing really important to do that day. He had some interviews, and a lot of rehearsals. Mimi told me I could have the day off if I wanted.

Strangely enough, I didn't want to.

I wasn't sure why, but the idea of spending the day without Austin didn't seem all that terrible to me anymore. Maybe it was because of what happened this morning.

Or perhaps the boy was growing on me.

Whatever it was, it made me come along with him, even though I didn't have to.

Watching Austin rehearse with his band was amazing. He sounded amazing, he was an amazing dancer, an amazing musician.

Amazing performer, I wrote down.

"That's great guys, take five!" I heard Austin call. The band members got up and left, but Austin didn't go anywhere. He just sat there with his guitar, just like the time we promised we would be civil.

And I kind of felt like we could be, now. He wasn't that bad.

I think.

I still wasn't entirely sure what to make of him. Sometimes I felt like he didn't hate me anymore. And other times I felt like if looks could kill, he would've killed me a million times.

"Hey," I said softly, as I approached him. He acknowledged me with a small smile.

"Hey."

It was silent for a little while. It was an awkward silence, and I was wondering if I should just leave. Then he started talking.

"Can I ask you something, Ally?"

I nodded.

"My mom just told me something. And I'm not sure what to do with it." He was talking, but not looking at me. He was still sitting on the ground, strumming his guitar, his eyes focused on the ground.

"Well, what did she tell you?" I sat down next to him.

But not too close.

"That I can perform on national television on Christmas eve?" It came out like a question, and for a moment I didn't know what to say.

"Wow, that's… That's huge. Right?"

"Yeah. It's in New York. It's not playing Times Square on New Year's Eve, but it's kind of a big deal."

He finally looked up at me, and he looked almost… sad.

"Which means that really, I have to do it. I have to say yes. But I really don't want to let my fans down, Ally."

I furrowed a brow. "Let your fans down?"

"Rehearsals for it are mandatory, and they are on the same day as my Miami concert was scheduled. Which means that if I do it, I have to cancel that concert." He paused.

"I have never cancelled a concert. And I don't want to. But I can't really say no to New York either. What do I do?"

"Austin," I said softly. "Why are you asking me?"

"Because…" He stopped, and seemed to think about that question for a little while.

"Because you'll answer me honestly. You don't care about my feelings like Dez or what's best for my career like mom, you'll just tell me what's the right thing to do."

I thought about it for a second. Imagined myself being in his shoes.

I didn't know what I would do. It's a difficult decision. But on the other hand, a thing as big as performing on national television on Christmas eve was a big thing. Lots of people would watch it. He would gain tons of fans.

"Do you think your fans are reasonable?" I asked him. He nodded.

"Then they will understand that you have to do New York. And you won't have to cancel the performance, you just have to postpone it. They will get their concert, just a little later."

He sighed.

"Do you really think I should go to New York?"

I looked at him, and I could see the doubt in his eyes.

Like I'd said before, you could tell a lot by his eyes.

I thought about my motives for the answer I gave him. I wasn't saying it because it meant he wouldn't be able to spend the entire week with me, since Christmas was only four days away. I wasn't saying it because I cared about his career.

I was saying it because that was what I would do.

"Yes, I really think you should go."

Song: The Morning Song by The Lumineers
Author's note: Hi guys! I want this story finished before Christmas and since it's already December and I have a lot of chapters to post, I will be updating this story a lot more. Just to let you know!