This one's modified from a kink meme prompt: A cat has snuck in the 3rd Precinct. Efforts to relocate have proven futile. It's friendly and cuddly. Officers have taken it home, but it keeps coming back. It seems to like Captain Renard a lot. (It's a hexenbiest thing.)
This wasn't healthy, Wu was well aware of the fact. If the Captain found out, there was no doubt that something very painful was going to be involved. But it was just so hilarious that he couldn't stop glancing at it, just to make sure that he wasn't imagining things.
"You realise that he'll kill you if he finds out your involvement in all of this? And it won't be painless or quick either," Nick commented as he walked in front of him, handing him a cup of coffee.
"Strangely enough, I don't find the thought of dying all that terrifying at the moment," Wu replied, accepting the caffeine gratefully. "Not after I've had the chance to witness – that," he said, nodding towards the Captain's office.
The chaos that was going on inside was obvious by the simple fact that the blinds hadn't been drawn, giving everyone an unobstructed view of what was happening. However, despite how interesting it was, most of the people in the Third Precinct averted their eyes as they walked by. Captain Renard's anger was not something anyone wanted brought down upon their heads.
Of course, as Nick very well knew, Sergeant Wu wasn't exactly known for self-preservation, at least not when their boss was involved. So he was more than happy to sneak constant quick glances inside, enjoying what was infinitely more interesting that any of his usual soaps.
"He will find out, you know," he said.
"I'm aware," Wu replied back, "But this is just too amusing for me to be sorry about."
Watching the usually stoic Captain chase behind a tiny, pure-black Bombay kitten, trying desperately to get his badge back – well, Wu was right, the sight was just too hilarious to pass up, even if it did mean certain death.
"I still don't understand it," Wu said after a few moments of enjoying the sights. "We all know how animals react to the Captain – hell; we need to keep the police dogs away every time he's on a crime scene to make sure they don't start attacking him instead of tracking whatever they need to. I was certain we'd have to do the same with her when I brought her in today morning…And then this? I mean, I know weird stuff has been happening in Portland lately, but this just boggles the mind."
"Let's just chalk it up to one more win for the gods of craziness?" Nick asked.
Wu nodded; completely unaware that Nick was struggling to control his sniggers. He had known that this would happen as soon as he had seen what Wu was carrying in his arms when he had entered the precinct that morning. After what had happened with Adalind's cat – well, he had done a bit more digging on the Hexenbiester.
So he was well aware of the strange fondness that the feline family had for the witch-like wesen. There had even been documented instances of Hexenbiester in Africa forming friendships with wild lion. And even though the males of the species weren't as involved in witchcraft as the more well-known females, it was a trait that was found in Zauberbiester as well.
The Captain might only have been half-Zauberbiest, but Nick had been sure that it would have made no difference to the little kitten Wu had brought into the precinct to shield it from the cold. It was rather obvious that he had been right.
"Nick!"
"Go talk to your partner, Burkhardt, I don't think he can survive for more than a half hour without you," Wu snarked at the sound of Hank's voice.
As he walked away, taking one last glance at the scene in Renard's office, he couldn't hold back his sniggers any longer. Monroe and Rosalee weren't going to believe him when he told them about this, which meant he could do only one thing.
Pet Grimm or not, Renard would murder him when he found out – and he would find out, he was the Captain after all – that Nick had hacked into the surveillance in the building and downloaded a copy of the events that were currently taking place in his office, that much he knew. He just hoped the Monroe and Rosalee would appreciate the trouble he was going through to get them the best early-Christmas gift ever.
After all, he doubted there could be anything more amusing than watching the big bad Captain Sean Renard, the half-royal who struck more fear into Portland's wesen community than he did, finally meet his match.
A/N: I just couldn't resist the thought...
As for the Hexenbiest-cat thing, I'm going to go with it's a residue of the 'black cats are used in witchcraft' thing. The Hexenbiest protected the cats because they were useful, and the cats developed a liking for anyone with any sort of Hexenbiest DNA.
Anyhow. I hope you guys liked this! And as always, please don't forget to drop a review on your way out :)