Chapter 43
As soon as he had finished the debriefing with the crew, Shepard made his way back to his cabin. Once he had reached the sanctuary of his semi-private accommodations, the exhaustion of the day finally caught up with him. The commander collapsed into his chair in a crumpled heap, not even bothering to remove his armor. Fuck I'm tired. Giving the team that full-fledged "inspirational speech" was probably a good thing, but gods damn if that shit doesn't take a lot outta ya. Hopefully, it was good for morale. I've still got about six hours before we reach the Citadel, that should be enough time to catch some shut-eye. Without any more thought, Shepard quickly succumbed to the siren's call of his fatigue.
Shepard was standing on a metal platform with a communications terminal in front of him. "Wait, isn't this where-" He started to speak, before movement atop the console interrupted him.
As though his thoughts had brought the monster into reality, a wireframe holographic projection of Sovereign appeared in front of him. Before Shepard could comment on his growing sense of deja vu, the Reaper spoke. "Before us you are nothing. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything."
"Yeah, I know, I already went through this spiel with you, remember? You were bragging about being the 'pinnacle of evolution' or something."
The cold metallic voice laughed at Shepard's bravado. "Your extinction has already begun. Allow me to show you the first casualty of your petty revolt."
"What? No-"
Before Shepard could voice his protests, the scene shifted. Although he was still on Virmire, he was back in the center of the cloning facility. He could hear the spine-tingling staccato of multiple automatic weapons, and he recognized the salarians' improvised nuclear device. Suddenly, Kaidan ran into view before hiding behind the bomb.
"What the hell is going on?" Shepard asked, half-hoping for a response.
Instead of answering the commander, Kaidan leaned out from behind the bomb, shooting at several geth that were approaching. The geth platforms returned fire faster than any organic could have, and their combined fire shattered the human biotic's shields and ripped a half-dozen holes in his armor. Kaidan gave a massive gasp of pain and fell to the ground. Displaying their usual coldness, one of the machines moved forward and put another three-round burst directly into the human commando's heart.
"Nooo!" Shepard yelled, wishing desperately that he had a weapon, any weapon, to use against these murderous bastards. Seconds later, Shepard flinched and closed his eyes as a massive wave of white-blue light exploded outwards from the bomb, vaporizing Kaidan's body.
When he opened his eyes, Shepard realized that he was standing in front of the projection of Sovereign again. "Okay, what the fuck was that?!"
"The beginning of your extinction." Sovereign responded.
"Well, it's fucking bullshit. Why the fuck would you show me that, anyway?"
"You will understand the true nature of what you face. Unlike your fragile species, we have no beginning. We have no end. We are infinite."
"Oh yeah? Then where are all the rest of your little buddies, huh? Maybe the protheans gave as good as they got, eh?"
"Would that give you hope, Shepard? I will show you what happened to the protheans."
Shepard was once again transported to somewhere else. This time, it looked a lot like Eden Prime. As the commander walked around a corner, he came across a familiar sight. A good-looking female clad in pink and white armor was taking cover behind a rocky outcropping. Two basic geth platforms were approaching the soldier, one from each side. While the female soldier was able to turn and incapacitate one of her attackers, the other geth struck her hard on the head from behind. The blow was enough to knock off the soldier's helmet, revealing long chocolate locks that Shepard was only too familiar with.
"Ash!" He yelled out, taking off at a run. Part of him knew that there was no way he could possibly reach her in time, but his conscience wouldn't allow him to slow down or stop. Before he was even halfway to his teammate, the geth carrying Ashley had already reached a set of Dragon's Teeth. With an almost tender motion, the metal biped set down his captive and stepped away. A millisecond later a massive spike erupted out of the apparatus's base, skewering the attractive woman. The pain of having a large metal spear driven through her body woke Ashley, and she with her dying act she looked deep into Shepard's eyes, asking "why couldn't you save me?"
An enraged Shepard closed his eyes tightly, hoping that when he opened them, he would be back on Virmire, talking to Sovereign. When he opened his eyes, he found that he was. "I thought you were gonna show me the Protheans, asshole!" He shouted at Sovereign.
"I did. The same cycle is always carried out."
"Yeah? Well this time it won't be. I'm gonna stop you, you sonuvabitch!"
Sovereign laughed again.
"And quit fucking laughing! You never laughed when we talked on Virmire, so I don't know why you're doing it now!" Shepard yelled.
"Your protests are amusing. You cannot possible stop us, for we are each a nation unto ourselves. Independent, dominant, and free of all weaknesses."
Before Shepard could respond, he was once again whisked away. This time, he was on a barren, dusty planet. A lone figure could be seen running towards a massive Reaper. Suddenly he was teleported to stand midway between the two opposing forces. As he looked at the much-smaller figure, he recognized his comrade Wrex. The krogan was barreling along at a surprising clip, alternating fire from an AR in one hand and a missile launcher in the other. Shepard couldn't understand whatever word or words Wrex was screaming, but the look of fearlessness and determination that was present on the battlemaster's face supplied all the translation Spike really needed.
With a sickening sensation forming in his stomach, Shepard turned back around to look at the Reaper. A vile red glow was beginning to light up the end of the tentacle that was pointed at Wrex. With a deep, low thrumming, the light lanced out towards the charging krogan, vaporizing Shepard's friend before either organic could even blink. The red beam of death continued through the krogan and carved a hole in the tough ground that was at least ten feet deep.
"Motherfucker!" Shepard yelled, before he was once again teleported back to Virmire. "You know, I really fucking hate you. It's quickly becoming my life's goal to kill each and every one of you motherfucking cunt-punters, if I have to rip you apart with my bare fucking hands."
"Your delusions do you no credit. You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it."
Shepard found himself once again transplanted to a different world. The terrain looked very similar to Feros, except that the ruins were even older and more dilapidated than he remembered. He quickly followed the sounds of moaning and biotic energy discharges. Within minutes, he had located Liara T'Soni being set upon by a horde of husks. "Finally. Something I can help with." Shepard then waded into the fight, punching as many abominations as he could reach.
Despite Shepard's assistance, Liara was clearly outgunned. Shepard was keeping an eye on his teammate, and noticed that her face was covered in a sheen of sweat and her breathing was clearly becoming more and more difficult. Soon enough, she was reduced to trying to fend off the husks by hand; her body simply drained of energy with which to produce biotic attacks. Shortly thereafter, one husk was able to stick a hand into the asari's stomach, causing her to double over in pain. Another husk took advantage of this to drag his claws along her back, exposing her spine to the open air. This proved to be too much for the beleaguered archaeologist, and she fell to the ground in the fetal position, crying out in pain. Before Shepard could advance to help her, her blue skin was no longer visible beneath a pile of blackened husks.
Shepard's shoulders sagged as he watched yet another of his friends die, even if it wasn't real. Within seconds of Liara's death, he found himself back on Virmire. "You know, I'm really getting tired of this hopping back-and-forth bullshit." He said to the red representation of the Reaper.
"You have not moved from this spot. See our power. We have dominion over your minds. Soon, we will show you our dominion over all. The time of our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape your doom."
Shepard realized he had moved again. Looking around, he recognized the public chamber of the Council. A turian stood at the petitioner's console, working feverishly at something. Spike recognized the fringe and armor of the turian who had become his brother in all but blood. "No. Garrus will be fine. There's no way a Reaper could fit in here, and his position is more than defensible enough for an army of husks. Plus, he has good evac routes if the geth attack in force. He'll be okay."
As soon as Shepard stopped mumbling to himself, another being came into view. Like Garrus, Shepard would never be able to forget the way this turian looked. The pale gray coloring of Saren Arterius was forever etched into Spike's memory banks, and filed under "Gigantic dickstain: Kill on sight." While the human-hating xenophobe moved towards Shepard's friend, he extracted a black, HMW pistol. A few more quiet steps brought Saren directly behind Garrus, at which point he extended his arm and took aim directly at the back of his fellow turian's head. Then the rogue Spectre turned and winked at Shepard, delighting in the human's misery.
"Garrus!" Shepard yelled. "Look out!"
It seemed as though for once a member of his team could hear him. Garrus turned around; only to come face to face with the barrel of Saren's pistol. The gun barked twice, and two gouts of dark blue blood exploded out of the back of Garrus's head.
"You bastard!" Shepard exclaimed, tears forming in the corners of his eyes as he watched the death - no, the execution - of one of his best friend. Before Saren could do any more than turn and grin at the commander, Shepard re-appeared once again on Virmire. "Enough, already." He pleaded with Sovereign. "Look, I know who's next, and I'm telling you: I don't want to see it. So whatever creative way you've cooked up to kill her, just keep it to yourself. Please." Shepard's voice cracked over the last word. He wanted nothing to do with seeing Tali die, even if it was only in his head.
"You pleas are as empty as your future." The monotonous metallic voice of Sovereign responded. "You will never live a peaceful life with the quarian. You will be the architect of her death. And I am the vanguard of your destruction."
Shepard closed his eyes, hoping that if he never opened them, he wouldn't be able to see whatever gruesome fate awaited the girl/woman he was beginning to like as much more than just a teammate.
"Spike?"
He'd know that voice anywhere. Shepard's eyes snapped open of their own volition, and he spun around to face her faster than should have been humanly possible. There, crawling towards him on her hands and knees, was Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. Her faceplate was smashed open, revealing her lovely visage. Her eyes were pale, luminous blue. In fact, it appeared that her eyes were literally glowing a little bit. Her face was oval, with a slightly pointed chin. What little hair he could see was a dark, lustrous black. Her skin tone was a fascinating mix of red, orange, and purple that defied description. It was like something out of a Monet painting. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
Her beauty was marred, however, by several cuts that were slowly leaking light blue blood. As Shepard looked over the rest of her body, he could see that her suit was cut in many places, and there were several more serious injuries all over her body. A part of Shepard was marveling at the fact that she was still conscious given how much blood she must have lost. A different part of him was swearing vengeance upon whatever cretin had dared to hurt her in such a way. And still another part of Shepard was still marveling at how jaw-droppingly beautiful she was.
"What happened, Tal?" He whispered, dropping to one knee in order to proffer any possible assistance.
"You, Spike."
Her reply made him stagger back as though he had been physically struck. "What do you mean? I would never hurt you, Tali."
She tried to smile, although it came out as more of a grimace. "You killed everybody, Spike." She ignored his gasp and continued speaking. "You were indoctrinated. We never realized it until it was too late. Apparently Sovereign planted the seeds of it when you spoke with him on Virmire, and you were too weak to resist him for long. That's why you left Kaidan to die on Virmire. Then you abandoned Ashley and Liara to their fates when you got separated on a mission. You and Wrex got in a fight, and you killed him. Garrus and I still supported you, even then. We never believed you could intentionally kill one of your squadmates. Then when we were assaulting Sovereign for the final time, you shot Garrus in the back and then threw me through a glass partition and over a railing. I fell thirty feet, Spike. But I didn't die in the fall. Please, Spike. Kill me. It hurts so much. Please."
Shepard suddenly realized that he had a pistol in his hand; his HMW pistol. "No. I can't do this, Tali. I, I, I don't know what I'm feeling for you, but I can't kill you."
As Tali's eyes continued to bore into his, pleading for the sweet release of death, Shepard's arm slowly started to rise. He struggled not to allow the pistol to aim at her, but it was useless. Nothing he did worked. The barrel of the gun continued its inexorable march towards the young quarian, who looked so grateful at her own impending doom that it broke the Spectre's heart. Once the weapon was aimed, his finger began tightening on the trigger. The low-weight pull was about to break when he pushed back against whatever was controlling him with everything he possessed. For a moment, he seemed to be winning. But then he was overwhelmed by pure, overpowering will, and the trigger broke.
"No!" Shepard yelled, sitting up from his chair with such force that he toppled over backwards. As he climbed unsteadily to his feet, he realized that he was absolutely soaked in sweat. When he went to wipe a hand over his face and sluice away some of the excess water, he realized that his hand was shaking uncontrollably.
Holy fuck. That was incredibly intense. And fucked up. A shiver ran through Shepard as his mind replayed the highlights of his dream. I need a shower, and a drink. Not necessarily in that order. With that decided, he moved over to his bed and pulled out the bottle of whiskey from beneath it. Pouring a small measure into the cap, he slugged it down. A few seconds later, he repeated the action. Now feeling considerably calmer, he began to remove parts of his armor. Once divested of his hard outer shell, Shepard took one more shot of whiskey and then capped the bottle and replaced it. Still feeling heavy-hearted, he then made his way towards his shower and waited for the alcohol to kick in and dull some of the pain that was still tearing his chest apart.