Oh my God, an update I actually didn't write at the last minute? Do I have a fever? *feels forehead* Nope.
DISCLAIMER: Again, I don't own anything!
Penny took a final swig from the bottle in her hands, downing the last drop. She placed it down on the floor with the rest of the little collection of empties she'd been starting in the last few days. One of the perks of not being pregnant, She thought glumly to herself. Is that you can drink. Obviously, that was no consolation.
Right now, Penny was in that moment before you were really drunk, when things were just starting to get blurry. Honestly, she couldn't even remember what show she was pretending to watch because the combination of that and her watery eyes made it hard to see. She hadn't been crying exactly, she'd cried herself out for the most part. She was just…broken, almost. She needed to be alone, and everyone knew when Penny was sad she drank.
I wonder if I have any schnapps. She thought. That really is a fun word to say – schnapps, schnapps…
Penny was about to get up and look for some, when there was a knock at her door. "Who…who is it?" She called out. Besides people at work, Penny really hadn't talked to anyone since she got the diagnosis two days ago, not even Leonard. Especially not Leonard.
"It's me."
Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Apparently the same thing could be said for Leonard.
"Don't come in," Penny answered, her voice sounded half tipsy, and half like it she was about to cry. "I'm…I'm not decent!"
The door burst open, and Leonard stepped inside. Honestly, he'd been worried he'd find her like this – alone, drunk and wallowing in emotion. He'd known Penny long enough to expect something like this. She didn't handle this sort of thing well.
"I said don't come in!" She cried, causing Leonard to snap out of his thoughts. Penny was in sweats with her hair half-pulled back, no makeup on and an assortment of empty alcohol bottles on her floor. She rose and walked into her kitchen, pulling out a bottle of peach schnapps and taking a sip out of the bottle, before taking out a glass and adding ice.
"Well, I did." After Leonard said it, he mentally smacked himself. Obviously, genius. He thought. She can see you! "Penny, we need to talk."
Penny paused from pouring her schnapps into the glass, looking up at Leonard. "Do you have any lemonade?"
"What?" Leonard asked, confused. "Umm, no, I don't think so."
"Too bad." She emptied the bottle into the glass. "I'll have to drink it straight then." Penny took a swig and kept looked back at him, blinking, waiting.
"Penny, this is obviously because of what happened at the doctor's." When he said this, Penny paused before she gulped, trying to swallow the lump in her throat as well as the schnapps. "We have to talk about this."
"I don't…" She began slowly. "I don't know what to say." Her voice got higher on the last word.
"I still love you," Leonard said softly. "You do know that, right?"
"Leonard, of course I know."
"Well, you had me fooled."
Penny walked over, sitting down next to her boyfriend on the couch and putting her head on his shoulder. She felt his hand begin to trace circles on her back. "I know you love me," She said. "And I love you too; I know that now more than ever. And it's so hard for me to know that I'm depriving you of fatherhood."
"We still have options." He pointed out. "If there's ever a time when you're ready to have a child, you can always take the fertility drugs and see if they work."
"I know but…" She sniffled. "It's just, there's no guarantee they're going to work, you know? And odds are they won't and…when have things ever been easy for us?"
"There are no guarantees in life," Leonard told her. "This roof could cave in and crush us right now. You just never know."
He's right. Penny thought. Damn it, he's right. "You're right."
"And yes," He continued. "Things haven't been easy, but we're here now right? They made us stronger."
For the first time in a while, Penny smiled. "I love you." She said. "You're really cool with this?"
"Of course," Leonard affirmed. "I want to be with you, no matter what."
She ducked her head, and he tilted her chin up, kissing her on the lips. He really did love this woman. She'd never know how much. And as they pulled apart, and he looked into her eyes, he still saw doubt.
Okay, because some stuff is coming up that is going to kind of conflict with what has happened on TBBT recently (and well, we kind of already have conflicted with it since there's no Lucy) so this is just a reminder that none of the stuff currently going on has happened. This is totally AU after The Santa Simulation.
By the way, I'd really like some reviews. I know you're all out there – I see the hits! This chapter took me two hours to write, while posting a review doesn't even take two minutes. So please, review. I'd like to know what you think.