Chapter 47

"If you're interested, maybe we could try being something more? We can call it pemla'tiyl, or courting, or dating, or whatever you feel comfortable with; I just want to know if you'd like to . . . try." Shepard's words were suddenly the only thing in Tali's mind. She couldn't understand them, couldn't comprehend them, but there they were nonetheless; pounding through her skull like a herd of tilgrap back on Rannoch. Spike just asked to begin the bonding process. Spike just asked to start the bonding process with me. Spike wants to be with me. Spike wants me!

While Tali was struggling to restart her brain, Shepard was simply staring at her. He was trying to be patient by waiting for a response but found himself becoming increasingly disheartened as she continued be silent. Why isn't she saying anything? It was a simple question: do you wanna go out with me? Maybe, somehow, it wasn't clear what I was asking? It's probably a more formal process for quarians (what with the whole "bonding for life" thing), so maybe she's trying to translate what I said into quarian norms? Yeah, that must be it. With that little bit of reassurance, Shepard waited. And waited. And continued to wait.

By this point, all of his prior nervousness and fear had returned, as well as several new ones. Fuck. It's gotta be something bad now, right? Hell, I probably broke her by exceeding her comfort levels by about a trillion percent. And here I am, still holding her to my side like she's already my girlfriend. Pull the fuck away, Spike, and give the poor girl some space so she can come back to a reasonable equilibrium and get the fuck outta your cabin. Shepard started to try to ease out of the situation by removing his arm from around Tali's shoulders and sliding away from her on his bed. Gods, you're such a fool, Spike. And a pervert, too. You're hitting on someone seven years younger than you; that's practically a decade! And on someone who is currently trying to become an adult in her people's society. Pedophile much? Why the fuck am I only remembering these things now, after I've fucked up any chance of keeping one of my closest friends?

The loss of contact with Shepard was the necessary catalyst for Tali to re-engage both her brain and her mouth. "Spike?" When she looked at him, she found his face to be full of so much self-recrimination and self-loathing that it made her want to cry. "What's wrong, Spike?"

Shepard struggled to control his expression, knowing that that was what had tipped her off to his internal condemnations. "It's nothing, Tali. I'm sorry for offending you like I did, and we don't have to mention it again. When we get back to the Citadel from Ilos, I'll pay for a chartered shuttle to take you back to the Flotilla. It's the least I can do."

"Offending me? Least you can do for what? Spike, what are you talking about?"

Shepard was now quite confused. "Well, you were quiet for so long. I couldn't think of any reason for that other than that you were royally pissed off at me. Hence my giving you some space here on the bed," A huge fucking mistake, Spike. Can you do anything right? "and paying for your trip back home. After all you've done for me, and how uncomfortable I've just made you, I have to do something to make it up to you."

A large part of Tali wanted to laugh at Shepard's obvious mis-reading of the situation. But the other, still quite substantial, part wanted to curse herself for making him question himself like that. He just offered me the very thing I've been dreaming for for the past month, and instead of grasping hold of it like the wonderful opportunity it is, I said nothing and allowed him to believe I wasn't interested. Ancestors save us! "No, Spike, it's not like that. Not at all."

Shepard quirked an eyebrow at her, silently requesting an explanation.

"I want to be more than friends with you, Spike. So much. I was just so shocked when you told me that that was what you wanted too, my brain seized up and I couldn't process it. I'm sorry you thought I wasn't interested. I am, so very, very much."

Shepard let out a huge sigh of relief, before sliding close to Tali yet again and putting his arm back around her shoulders. Hugging her tightly to him, he was struck once again by how peaceful being with her made him feel. They both felt even better when Tali wiggled her left arm between Spike's back and the wall, and wrapped her right arm around his front. Taking courage from the fact that she'd said yes, which he was still trying to fully process, Shepard decided to be daring and a little forward. He reached around her with his left arm before lifting her up and sliding her onto him, pulling her squarely into his lap. He then proceeded to take advantage of this new position by pulling her tightly to his body with both hands, reveling in the comfort her closeness brought him.

Thank the gods I was able to re-adjust when I moved back towards her, or I doubt her seat would be quite as comfortable. Not that I can really be blamed for how attractive she is, or how perfect her ass is (which somehow is even better looking when it's on my lap). I should probably try to steer my thoughts away from how good Tali looks, or re-adjustment or not something's gonna start poking her in that wonderful ass of hers. And I don't think either of us really need to go there right now. So . . . think non-sexy thoughts, Spike. She said yes! I don't know what we are, exactly, but she wants to be with me! Even with all the bullshit with the Council and Udina, this is definitely one of my top three days. I can't think of what the other two might be right now, but whatever. I'm basking, gods damn it. "So Tali, what do you consider us as being? Or rather, what do you want us to be, because I'm quite happy just to be with you."

Tali's answering smile could have lit up the Normandy's hangar bay. "I am too, Spike." She thought for a moment. "It's probably easier to use human customs for now. Non-quarians wouldn't understand what being in the first stage of pemla'tiyl means, and since we're surrounded primarily by humans, it may be best to 'do in Rome,' was it?"

Shepard chuckled. "Close. That saying, in full, is 'when in Rome, do as the Romans do.' It's often shortened to just 'when in Rome,' though. But I kinda like your version." And I like very much the idea of doing you in Rome. Or here on this bed. Or anywhere, actually. Bad thoughts! Down Spike! "But I agree with your point. So now that we have the terminology down, and since I know the answer, which makes me feel better about myself," here Tali giggled a little, making Shepard smile widely in response, "Tali'Zorah, would you do the honor of being my girlfriend?" As he said this, he gripped her gently by the waist and pulled her away from him, so he could look into her eyes.

Engulfed in the pools of tenderness and care that were present in his normally cold grey eyes, she practically swooned. "Yes, Spike. It would be my honor." With that said, she dove back against his chest, squeezing him tightly and loving the feeling of safety and affection she could feel oozing from every cell in his body.

After a few minutes of doing nothing more than reveling in their new feelings of togetherness, Shepard moved to pull Tali from his lap. With a hurt expression on her face, she cocked her head to the side in a silent question and plea.

"Don't worry, Tal." Shepard said as he smiled reassuringly at her. "I just need to grab something." Once she had released her hold on him, he set her back on the bed proper and stood up before getting down on his hands and knees and reaching under the bed. When he stood back up, he had a black hard-polymer case in his hands. The case was roughly 30 centimeters in width by 20 centimeters in length by 10 centimeters in height, and didn't appear to have any external latches or catches. With a dull "thump" that was lighter than Tali expected, Shepard placed the case on the bed and used his omni-tool to open it.

"What's in there, Spike?" Tali asked curiously, leaning forward to try to sneak a peek inside this mysterious container. What can be in that container that is important enough to remove me from his lap? I was rather enjoying my new seat, and am looking forward to spending quite a lot of time there in the future.

"A little something I like to keep on hand for a rainy day." Shepard said with a large grin. "Only in this instance, it's for a bright, sunny, beautiful day." He pulled something out of the case, and went to hand it to her. "And in keeping with the human custom of boyfriends giving gifts to their girlfriends for no other purpose but to show how much they care, here's a little something for you."

She reached out her shaking hands and took the present from him, her heart racing with excitement. My first gift from my first boyfriend! Possibly the first gift from the first boyfriend in quarian history! I'm so excited I can hardly breathe! Taking several deep breaths to try to get her body back under control, she took the time to actually look at what Shepard had just given her. Almost immediately, she recognized the two identical items she was holding. Each piece of flat metal had a base of half-inch-thick black metal mesh much like what protected wrists, elbows, and other joints in high-grade armors. On top of that mesh backing were a series of metal enclosures, most of which were about 14.5 centimeters in length and 4.5 centimeters in width, but only rose about 2 centimeters up from the mesh. There was also one larger enclosure on each of the items, measuring 16 centimeters in length, 6 centimeters in width, and 3 centimeters in height. The smaller slots were filled with Spike's throwing knives, as evidenced by the distinctive circular handle sticking out of each slot. Additionally, the two larger slots had one of Spike's fighting knives firmly ensconced therein, with the 14-centimeter long handle extending out past the edge of the mesh. "Spike! These are your gauntlets that hold all of your knives! You need them! I can't accept these!" Warring with her own emotions, she made to hand it back to Shepard.

"No, Tali, those're for you. My primary set is still with the rest of the armor. I always carry extra knives whenever possible. And just F.Y.I., they're actually vambraces, not gauntlets. You should know what to call them if you're gonna wear them, after all."

She looked up from the afore-named vambraces and silently told him to continue his explanation.

Shepard chuckled. "We've only been together for a few minutes and you're already telling me what to do. Non-verbally, no less." He gave another little laugh, and then responded properly to Tali's request for information. "Gauntlets and vambraces are similar, but gauntlets usually have some sort of hand or finger protection involved. Vambraces are solely for forearm protection. In the old days, they looked like little more than short metal tubes that you could stick your arm into. These, obviously, are a little more advanced."

He reached out and gently took one of the vambraces from Tali's hands and showed her how they worked. "Each of the throwing knives is held in place by a small magnet embedded in the vambrace. The magnet is just strong enough to keep the knives from falling out during heavy evasion maneuvers, but not strong enough to be a terrible imposition to drawing one. My advice to you is to practice pulling the knives from their sheaths a few dozen hundred times. Trust me, it's worth it; not only will you get used to exerting just enough force to draw a knife but not throw off your aim, but you'll also obtain the muscle memory needed for actually using these when you need them.

The two long blades are held in place by the fact that the opening on the vambrace for the knife is just a little bit too small for the knife's grip. I've been using this model of vambrace for more than four years, and have yet to have one of my knives fall out of their sheath. Again, I advise you to practice drawing and sheathing these two bad boys, as they're more likely to actually save your life than the throwing knives. And that's experience talking, not a sales brochure.

Now this is where the genius of this model comes into play. Obviously, your forearm is quite a bit smaller than mine. So on the face of it, it seems like these vambraces are gonna be useless to you, right?" Without giving her a chance to respond, he answered his own question. "Wrong. Watch this." Shepard then grabbed the outermost throwing knife sheath and slowly pulled on it. To Tali's amazement, the sheath separated from the rest of the vambrace with a light metallic ringing sound.

"What was that?" She exclaimed, quickly grabbing for the separated sheath.

Shepard laughed heartily at her enthusiasm. "That's some proprietary magic from Cold-Bar. The company formed when two of the biggest knife manufacturers in the mid-21st century, Cold Steel and Ka-Bar, decided to pool their resources and start creating some truly amazing products. All of the knives in these vambraces, as well as the vambraces themselves, obviously, are made by Cold-Bar. One of Cold-Bar's most amazing innovations of the last decade is the stuff that mesh is made of, called 'Velcro Steel.' Velcro steel isn't a true steel, but I doubt the marketing people cared about that. The way it works is that at the edge of each of the sheath's mesh backing is a series of 'hooks and loops' made out of carbon nanotubes. The hook and loop idea comes from one of the mid-20th centuries greatest inventions, a fabric called 'Velcro.' In a nutshell, one half of velcro consists of little hooks, and the other half of the fabric is a bunch of little ringlets. When you put the two halves together, the hooks catch and hold the rings (or loops), keeping stuff hooked together. Cold-Bar took that idea and was able to make it work with carbon nanotubes, and then they made the hooks and loops alternate at a specific frequency, meaning you don't have to worry about whether you're trying to connect a loop to a loop or a hook to a hook, like you had to with velcro. It's a really sweet solution that gives their product even more appeal.

The other really neat thing about Velcro steel is that it only releases if you pull at just the right angle. But, you can reattach them at pretty much any angle. Now, to release the sheath from the vambrace you need to be pulling from the side of the vambrace that sits closest to your elbow, and you need to pull up and away on the sheath you want to extract at a 22.5-degree angle from your elbow. In other words, if you draw a line from the inside of your palm straight back to your elbow, and then a line perpendicular to your arm at your elbow, from the right angles that are formed by the intersection of those two lines you want to pull the sheath away from your body at an angle that is 22.5 degrees from the line running perpendicular to your arm (or 67.5 degrees from the line running from your palm to your elbow). Does that make sense?"

When she nodded, he gave a quick sigh of relief. "Thank goodness. Cold-Bar has some videos showing how to do it on their extranet site, but I didn't really want to take the time to look them up. Now, can you hold out your arm for me Tal?"

With her head still swimming a little from all the new information, Tali held out her left arm without complaint. "Thanks." Shepard said, lightly touching her arm and trying to ignore the effect she was having on him. "The mesh will have a little bit of stretch in it - not much, but a little - so when you're trying to decide if you should err on the side of too loose or too tight, always go with too tight." As he said this, Shepard was quickly removing another three throwing knife sheaths from the vambrace. When he had finished he laid the vambraces over Tali's arm, with the handles pointing up her arm and the large knife sitting on the outside or her forearm. Then, with a look of satisfaction, Shepard pushed the ends of the vambrace together and they sealed themselves together with a low metallic squelching noise. "There! Easy as pie, right Tali?"

Tali smiled broadly. He really enjoys weaponry, doesn't he? Especially knives. I can't believe how excited he's getting over showing me his knives. No, wait, they're my knives now. I wonder if that's why he's so upbeat? Maybe I should get him a gift, and see if it makes me as excited as he is. Girlfriends can get gifts for their boyfriends, right? I'll check the extranet later. "Yes it is, Spike."

"Well then, you should do the other one." Shepard said, motioning to the vambrace she still held. "And while you're doing that, I'll point out that I put your biggest knife on top. The purpose for that is two fold. First, there's the defense aspect of it. If you're defending from somebody, chances are high that you'll be blocking using the outside of your arm. Thus, putting the big one on the outside helps give you some extra protection. Second, there's the convenience of the draw. With the knife on the outside, when you draw it you'll already be in proper knife-fighting position, holding it in an ice pick grip. With the knife on the inside, you'd have to make and extra movement to switch your grip, which is a bad thing. And third, there's just the general convenience aspect. Having that big honking thing banging against your legs when you swing your arms while walking, bouncing it off the table when you're eating or typing at a proper terminal, and a whole host of other things make it a pain in the ass to have that knife on the inside of your arm."

By the time he had finished speaking, Tali had completed her task. Looking at the two vambraces on her arms, Shepard felt a swell of emotions. Pride in her skill and intelligence, happiness that she seemed to like her gift, and a sense of lessening worry now that she had something to protect herself in close-quarters besides her shotgun were the three main ones. Unable to put words to his feelings, Shepard simply moved the plastic box that had been holding the vambraces out of the way and then sat down on the bed and pulled Tali back into his arms.

Sitting there holding one another, the two were firmly at peace. Saren, Sovereign, the Reapers, and Ilos were nothing more than nebulous nightmares at the moment. Now that they were together, Tali and Shepard both felt that everything would be alright.