I was going to make this chapter about the friendships between the girls and the guys, but then once I wrote the girls part, I realize it was already really long on its own. So, the next chapter will be about the boys. Enjoy, and maybe leave a review (yes, that is a hint). Again, I know you're out there! *waves*

DISCLAIMER: Don't own shizznit.

In a close knit friendship circle like theirs, secrets weren't secrets for long, and gossip spread fast. It was only a matter of time until everyone knew what was really going on.

The news of Bernadette's miscarriage spread quickly amongst the little group. Suddenly, everyone just started acting carefully. Around Howard, they pretended nothing had happened, trying to be like their normal selves but failing because of their poor acting. Around Bernadette everyone tiptoed (metaphorically, of course), speaking soft and gentle "How you feeling?"'s and "Can I get you anything?"'s. They knew that she was emotionally fragile, and that her miscarriage could complete at any time. Neither Howard nor Bernadette responded well. Howard tried to play along but wasn't fooling anyone – except for maybe Sheldon – while Bernadette's sadness was evident and frankly depressing.

Sometime after that, Penny told everyone about what had her down as well. Her friends treated her and Leonard somewhere in between how they'd treated Howard and Bernadette – they were sympathetic at first, but then tried to act normal after a few days, figuring that would be more helpful.

And so, time went on. Some days it felt like it wouldn't, but some days were promising, and some were in between. Honestly to Penny, it was actually better that her friends knew. She didn't have to keep it bottled up inside, and if she ever decided she wanted to talk, she could, yet if she wanted to get her mind off it she could too, or at least try to.

But, she felt terrible for Bernadette. She could only imagine the immense guilt the little blonde was feeling – her own feelings of responsibility were probably nothing in comparison to Bernadette's. When Penny had first heard about Bernadette's miscarriage, she'd realize that they'd lost their babies less than twenty-four hours apart, just in different ways. Penny had found out the child she was ready to love didn't exist at all, while Bernadette had been hit with the crushing blow that the child she hadn't wanted but her husband had had died within her. Again, while Penny knew now that her inability to conceive was not her fault and Bernadette's miscarriage wasn't her fault either, surely Bernadette was being nagged by fears that it had been something she'd done. Penny had a strong feeling that she wasn't the worst off here.

Penny still drank. Not in excess, but more than usual. Life was in fact continuing, like it always did, but there were some moments were she would just stop and thoughts of her current situation would overtake her, and her body would shake or tears would spring to her eyes. Reaching for a bottle was the easy way out. There were also times when her, Bernadette and Amy were together and Bernadette would do something so…just so un-Bernadette like, that Penny would just feel an ache in her heart and lift the bottle to her lips, as if she could drink away everyone's pain. Obviously she couldn't, but she kept trying.

Bernadette's grieving process had two sides. There was the sad, moping side most people saw. She wasn't the sweet, happy Bernadette she usually was. She was much more quiet, introverted. When she hung out with Penny and Amy – which was rare, and only after they called, texted and/or emailed her so many times she had to say yes – she didn't say much, unless they addressed her. When she was at home, Howard frequently tried to talk to her, or to put his arm around her, and she didn't respond. She felt like she'd failed him in some way, and it showed. Yet, he still kept trying, hopeful one day she'd open up to him and tell him how she felt, like she had that fateful day at the hospital.

But when she was alone, she threw herself into work, putting all of her energy into her job, even though right now she had very little energy at all. She set a lot of goals for herself, swearing she'd get this and that done, and when she finished taking on more. She needed a distraction, especially since she'd been cramping worse and worse lately and she knew it wasn't that long until her miscarriage finally completed. Soon, she'd be saying goodbye to her child, and her body would heal itself, and her cycle would start back up again, a monthly reminder that she wasn't pregnant anymore.

There was one thing Bernadette hadn't told Howard or Penny or anyone else. The day she'd left the hospital, when she'd been alone in her room getting ready to go while Howard pulled the car around, a young nurse in scrubs with cats on them had walked into her room. The nurse had looked at her and said, with a smile on her face: "You can start trying again after your next period, once your uterus has time to heal." One of the other, more experienced nurses had quickly ushered the first nurse out of the room and apologized to Bernadette wholeheartedly, but the damage had already been done.

They were already telling her when she could replace her baby. Like her child was a material item and she could just buy another one. The very thought repulsed her, like they were suggesting she hadn't loved her baby.

Finally, there was Amy; Amy stuck in the middle of Sad and Sadder. Finding out about her two best friends' problems in the middle of such a complicated time in her life and relationship with Sheldon was even more difficult than it would normally be. Amy had never had a lot of friends; ergo she'd never had to help anyone through a major crisis. Knowing that Penny and Bernadette were hurting so bad hurt Amy. It sounded corny, like it belonged in some book about girls who shared magic pants, but it was true. Amy didn't know what to do to make them feel better. Her first instinct had been to tell them a bunch of interesting facts about pregnancy she'd gotten off the Internet, but that had just made Penny give her a pissed off look and pour herself more wine and Bernadette excuse herself to probably go cry in the bathroom. After that, Amy tried to shut her mouth. Amy had no idea what to do – her PhD couldn't help her here.

So, they tried to keep going, tried to keep their friendship as normal as possible. But they all had a lot of changing and healing to do before things could ever be normal again.

I'm not really sure about exactly how a miscarriage goes (I'm 15 – obviously I've never had one) but I did a lot of research online, and found this very helpful website called stillbirthday. So, I hope that this portrayal is accurate. I tried very hard to get such a sensitive subject as exact as possible.

I was also surprised by how many people said they wanted to try again immediately after a miscarriage. I didn't think it would be right for Howard and Bernadette to get over the loss of their baby so quickly, so I will make sure they both get the closure they need before they discuss that possibility. I'm not saying that it's wrong to want to try again, because that's just how some people cope, I simply don't think either of them would be able to do that, since Howard wants children so badly and would surely feel terrible after losing one and I've established that Bernadette is feeling guilty. I think it would go against their characterization for them to dive into trying to conceive.

xoxo