Wow, this took…forever. I was going to post the next chapter after I got out of school – so I didn't have to worry about it while I was taking finals and doing last minute extra credit – but then, once I got out of school, my muse was gone and I totally forgot what I was planning for this chapter. This is why you should write all your ideas down, folks! I'm sorry this took so long. I'll try to post another chapter A-S-A-P.

DISCLAIMER: I did not gain the rights to The Big Bang Theory in my absence.

Knock, knock, knock. "Amy."

Knock, knock, knock. "Amy."

Knock, knock, knock. "Amy."

Amy flipped her hair and took a deep breath. She was wearing the purple slip she and Sheldon had bought at Victoria's Secret under her bathrobe, and she'd tried to curl her hair with a curling iron for tonight's special occasion, but hadn't been able to work it properly and almost burnt a chunk of her hair off. She'd considered putting on some makeup, but had decided that it would've been a little much.

When she opened the door, Amy gave Sheldon her best flirty smile. He made a face. "Hello, Sheldon,"

"…Hi," Sheldon said hesitantly as he stepped inside. He was holding a Rite Aid bag in one hand. He looked down at her robe. "You're wearing the girly undergarments?"

"Mmmhmm," Amy responded, untying her robe. "What do you think? Do I represent royalty, wealth and wisdom?"

Sheldon looked her up and down, and Amy waited for his reaction. "You don't look like yourself," He declared after a moment.

Amy frowned, putting her hands on her hips. "What do you want me to do?" She asked. "Have intercourse with you in a skirt and sweater?"

Sheldon shrugged. "That might make me a little more comfortable…"

Amy sighed. "Did you get the condoms like I asked you to?" She asked, nodding at the Rite Aid bag.

"Of course," Sheldon replied, handing Amy the bag. "I didn't stop at the drug store to pick up cough lozenges and soda pop."

Amy opened up the bag and looked at Sheldon. "How many condoms did you buy?" She asked.

"How was I supposed to know which kind is the most efficient?" Sheldon said. "There's regular, lubricated, extra sensitive, extra strength, assorted flavors, assorted colors, glow in the dark…"

"You bought glow in the dark condoms?" Amy said, incredulous. "Why would we possibly need glow in the dark condoms?"

"What if you wanted to have coitus at night?" Sheldon stated. "Then we wouldn't need a flashlight or candles – I thought it would be practical."

Amy smiled, and almost laughed. "Whatever. I guess we'll have to conduct an experiment then – for science."

"One step at a time, Amy Farrah Fowler," Sheldon said. "One step at a time."

"You wouldn't do it for science?" Sheldon's eyes flitted to the floor and he said nothing, and Amy had a feeling he didn't know how to argue to that. "So, I thought we'd have dinner, before we got started."

"Can you eat beforehand?" Sheldon asked. "Or do you have to wait thirty minutes, like in swimming?"

Amy thought about this. "Ummm…I don't know. Should we Google it?"

"No," Sheldon said. "Let's just skip the meal – I don't want to be digesting my meal while I'm in bed with you. If we're hungry afterwards we can eat then."

"That sounds good," Amy agreed. "Well, should we get started then?"

"If we must," Sheldon said. "Should we go to your couch or your bedroom?"

"I suppose we could start on my couch and go to my bedroom."

"Alright."

The Shamy awkwardly maneuvered over to Amy's couch, where they sat down on opposite ends. Amy dropped her robe, so she was just in the slip. Sheldon gave her a wide eyed look, which probably wasn't just because of her ensemble.

Amy scooted a few inches closer, and then a few more. Sheldon looked back at her, their bodies super close, and they awkwardly tried to find a comfortable position, occasionally bumping each other when they accidentally moved in the same direction. Finally, Amy grabbed Sheldon by the shoulders, stilling him. "Kiss me," She ordered.

"What?" Sheldon said, like she'd just asked him to kill her.

"Kiss me," Amy repeated. "It's foreplay."

"You agreed to no foreplay when we made The New Relationship Agreement!" Sheldon cried. "Where's your copy? I'll show it to you –"

"Sheldon," Amy began softly. Still, Sheldon continued to ramble, wondering out loud where Amy's copy of The New Relationship Agreement was. "Sheldon," She repeated, a little louder and a little firmer. Sheldon ignored her again. "Sheldon!" Amy yelled this time, and Sheldon turned to look at her, silenced. "Just calm down," She said, speaking slowly and in a normal voice. "If it makes you more comfortable, we'll call this a private display of affection, okay?" Sheldon reluctantly nodded. "Would you rather I kiss you?" Sheldon paused, and then nodded again. "Okay."

Amy closed the last of the distance between them and pressed her lips against Sheldon's. Sheldon kissed back at first, then abruptly pulled away. "Sanitize, sanitize!" He shouted, reaching for one of the pump bottles of Purell Amy had left on the coffee table, in her bedroom and in her bathroom, knowing that inevitably this would happen. Sheldon let out a sigh of relief as he rubbed the sanitizer into his hands.

"Better?" Amy asked. Sheldon gave a contented sigh in reply.

Now that Sheldon was happy again, the two went back to kissing, taking it very slowly. It was a miracle they didn't bang their heads against each other. Sheldon was actually a surprisingly good kisser – sure, he didn't give Amy any tongue access, but his lips were soft against hers, his kiss gentle.

Sheldon pulled away once more. "Amy?"

"Yes Sheldon?"

"I have a question before we start."

"Go ahead."

"Why do they sell flavored condoms?"

I hope you found this chapter worth the wait! I'm going to start the next chapter immediately, so look out for it.