Chapter Ten: The Body

Another time, another world…

"… there's things… thoughts and reactions I had that I couldn't… understand, or even try to explain to anyone else. Thoughts that made me feel like I was losing it… or like I was some kind of h-horrible person."

"Was it sudden?"

"What?"

"Your mother."

"No. … And yes. It's always sudden."

…

The next few hours passed in a blur. Tara saw her father's lips moving forming words of anger at her and Donny for skipping school when they'd been told not to, and telling them that it hadn't done their mother any good anyway. She heard the phrase 'pulmonary embolism' several times. The hospital staff was sympathetic to the Maclays, but they were just moving through their work days, completing their appointed rounds. Their comforts felt hollow to her. Her mother's body was away taken to the morgue, and without evidence of the death in front of her Tara had trouble believing that this was really happening. It was only once they were back in their house and Eileen wasn't there to greet her that it hit her full on. She locked herself in her room, and once she was alone her thoughts began to race.

In a way Tara had already begun to grieve before her mother's death. Eileen's weakness had prevented her from doing so many of the things they had enjoyed sharing. Horseback riding, dancing, long trips into the forest. Even gardening and cooking wore her out by the end. Piece by piece Eileen had been fading away. Tara had hoped and she'd prayed someday she'd be back to the woman she once was. But even if her body never recovered, Eileen's soul was still the strongest she'd ever known. Even if she never got back to her original strength, Tara had believed she'd survive. If she wasn't powerful enough to get through it, who was?

It was several hours before Tara brought her face out of her pillow where she had been sobbing. How was she going to survive her twentieth birthday without her mother? She went beneath her floorboards to pull out her grandmother's doll's eye crystal. The many smooth surfaces and familiar edges beneath her fingers brought her back to when both women had still been alive. Eileen had had her own mother and aunt to see her through her coming of age. Now Tara was the only woman left carrying their tainted bloodline. That would be a comfort if she knew for certain the curse would end with her, but there was always the chance Donny would have a daughter. That was a horrifying thought. Tara wasn't even brave enough to stand up to her brother on her own behalf, how could she protect her future niece from the abuse she and her mother had had to live through to control their powers?

As her fingers traced the facets of the crystal Tara became determined. It couldn't end like this. Eileen had always told her Wiccans couldn't use magic for selfish purposes, and Tara had sworn that oath sincerely. But she needed her mother, and she didn't care about the laws of life and death if it meant living without her. Her mother hadn't deserved to die like this, and she had deserved better than the life fate had given her.

She heard her father slam his door shut. Tara had often wondered why Eileen had never thought of leaving Donald. Maybe when they were both young she had needed someone to watch out for her and keep her from losing control, but she was capable of doing it so well herself by the time Tara was born she could have made it by without him. As strong as her mother was, she had never had the self-confidence to try to get away, whether out of fear or some idea that this dysfunctional family was all the love she was worthy of. Tara had felt that way too for a long time, but these past months with Buffy, Xander, Giles and Willow had made her feel something new. She felt like she was worthwhile. When she saw herself through their eyes, she felt like maybe she was smart, capable and likeable. Her mother had made her feel that way too. But it was meaningful to Tara for people who weren't family, the good kind of family like her mother that loved you unconditionally like a family is supposedly meant to, to look at her in a positive light. It gave her the confidence she had always been missing.

Right now that confidence was enabling her to get out her copy of History of Witchcraft to look up what she'd need for her plan. She was going to bring back her mother and then run away together. The book didn't have any actual resurrection spells in it, but it made reference to specific texts that did. Between the Magic Box and Giles' private collection in the library there was bound to be a copy of at least one of them. The library; that was the key to the whole thing. She knew her mother had forbidden her from tapping into the energy of the Hellmouth, but now she was gone. If Tara had broken that one rule she could have saved Eileen sooner.

Her new self-confidence didn't let Tara forget her own limitations though. She knew despite her recent progress at casting she likely wouldn't be able to pull off such an advanced spell on her own. Only one person could be what she needed right now, a woman who rivaled her mother in raw power. Willow.

…

Willow had had a rather anti-climactic day. Tara had vanished midday and all Willow's efforts to psyche herself up to tell Tara she liked her had gone out the window. Tomorrow was Friday, so she'd have a second chance, but the extra time was giving her anxieties. Her brain was way too good at formulating failure scenarios. There was a timid voice telling her to just wait and see if Tara approached her, but she knew that was the same stupid voice that had kept her waiting on Xander for years to no avail.

If I want anything to happen, I have to be willing to take the first step, she thought.

Any further thoughts were interrupted by the sound of knocking on her balcony door. The redhead got up from her bed and saw Tara on the other side of the glass. For a brief second she wondered if this was the universe telling her waiting could work out for her, but then she got close enough to see her friend's face. Her eyes were reddened and her cheeks were still moist. Willow opened the door with haste, ushering Tara inside. The blonde's normal shyness about touching was absent as she took the smaller girls arms in her hands.

"Tara?"

"You have to help me Willow."

There was something in Tara's voice that startled her. There was none of her usual hesitancy, just raw emotion.

"O-of course, anything." Willow said, stroking the back of Tara's hands. The contact with the older witch's magic felt sharper than normal, like an electric shock. They grew closer and Willow could see the salty build up from the hours of tears on Tara's cheeks. "Tara, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

Tara swallowed heavily. It was her first time speaking the words.

"My mom died."

A coldness rose up in Willow.

"Oh my god…"

She brought one hand up to cover her mouth. For a moment she just stood there, the shock of the tragic news sinking in. Then her heart reminded her that her pain was nothing compared to the girl in front of hers. Willow led them to the edge of her bed to sit down.

"What-what do you need me to do?"

Tara was about to tell her about the spell, but when she looked at Willow and saw her so full of empathy and concern, so honest in her desire to help, she faltered.

…

1987, Woodville Alabama, Maclay farm

Tara watched as the vet took away the bag with Amalthea's body in it. It wasn't the first time an animal had died on the farm, but the nanny goat had been hers to look after. She had been so proud to have been given the responsibility, and had been trying her hardest to be a good caretaker. Sure her mommy still watched her to make sure they were both safe, but Tara thought she was doing everything right. She didn't understand why it had happened. She had done everything the way her parents had taught her. Ammy shouldn't have died. It was all wrong.

The little girl also didn't understand why her mommy wouldn't help put Amalthea back.

"But if w-we make a big enough spell, we can make her m-move again." She said sniffling into her sleeve.

"You can't go against nature dear. You can't just make someone who's died move again without it going wrong." Eileen told her daughter patiently.

"But you fix th-things with magic all the time!" Tara protested. "If w-we were really, really careful we could make it work."

"Even if we could make it work sweetie, we can't use our magic to change life and death."

She had explained this as well as she could to a child of Tara's age before, but it would be a long time before she could truly understand.

"Why?"

"Because death is a part of life." Eileen said softly. "If things didn't die there were would never be any room for new things. Things have to die so new things can be born."

"But I l-like the old things." Tara pouted. "I love her momma. I don't want to replace her."

Her mother pulled her close and stroked the back of her head tenderly.

"You won't replace her. You'll make a special place for her in your heart, and she'll always be a part of you."

…

The girls just sat there staring into each other's eyes for several long minutes, Tara remembering what her mother had taught her about loss.

Willow waited quietly for an answer to her question, but couldn't wait any more when fresh tears began to fall from her friend's blue eyes.

"Tara please, what do you want me to do?"

Her throat was too choked to respond immediately, but when she felt Willow's hand gently wipe away the teardrops from her cheek she couldn't hold back anymore and brought the girl into a tight, desperate hug. The force of her sobs shook both their bodies. She knew she couldn't go through with the spell. It was against everything her mother had stood for, and violating her principles would be the worst thing she could do to her memory.

"Just hold me. Please." Tara whispered.

Willow wrapped her arms around the taller girl and rubbed her hand up and down Tara's back as she continued to cry.

"Always."

They stayed like that for a long time before Tara pulled back to wipe her face. Willow assured her that she was welcome to stay as long as she needed to and gave her an extra pair of her pajamas to change into. The blonde spent a few minutes in front of the bathroom mirror just composing herself before returning to the bedroom. They got under the covers and Tara snuggled into Willow, silently asking to resume their embrace. Tara could tell her friend had been crying a few tears of her own, but was doing her best to put on a strong face and comfort her.

The sun had yet to rise when Tara woke up, still securely held in Willow's arms. She felt so warm and soft against her, and Tara couldn't remember being more comfortable. There were occasional nonsensical phrases being muttered under the slender girl's breath that she couldn't quite make out. The moment would have been perfect bliss for Tara if not for the circumstances that led to her being here. But she knew one thing for certain; Willow had been the person she needed. Even if Willow didn't feel the same attraction Tara did, Willow made her feel in a true sense, loved.

She allowed herself to enjoy the peace of their position until the first ray of sunlight began to illuminate the room. It brought her back to reality, the reality that she had snuck out of her house and stayed out all night without her father's knowledge. Last night her mad plan to bring back her mother and escape her father had seemed plausible, but with a cooler head she knew it wasn't feasible. They didn't have any money of their own, and no place to go. Tara didn't see how she could survive on her own if she ran away without finishing high school or having any marketable skills. She was trapped, at the very least for the next year and a half. And if she was going to get through it, she had to get back before her father noticed she was gone. She wished she didn't have to. Without her mother that house wasn't her home any more. A home was a place where you were with the people you love, and now she was in the bed of the one person left she loved. But she couldn't stay.

She reluctantly extricated herself from Willow, causing the other girl to grumble and stir.

"Tare?" Green eyes looked around the room blearily. "It's early. Could you not sleep?"

"No, I did." Tara said quietly. "So well. But I have to get home before my father finds out."

Willow wasn't surprised she hadn't told Donald she was going out, but the thought of Tara going back to her family's house made her nervous. She didn't know exactly what went on behind closed doors, but she knew the blonde was scared of her father and brother.

"Are you sure? If you don't feel safe, you know you can stay here."

Tara shook her head.

"I-I don't want to impose on you and your parents." Willow opened her mouth to protest but Tara didn't let her. "But what you did for me last night, i-it meant so much to me. Thank you."

With a final surge of confidence, Tara leaned over and kissed Willow on the cheek before going to the bathroom to change back into her clothes. Willow touched the spot she'd been kissed and still worried, watched her crush slip out the door.

"Be safe…"

…

Donald was awake and downstairs when Tara tried to creep in through the front door. His anger from yesterday had cooled into a steely stoicism that unnerved his daughter even more.

"I'm not going to ask you where you've been, I know I won't get a straight answer." He said icily. "I had enough trouble with your brother last night. He came home drunk."

Tara stood there silently, face coached into an expressionless mask.

"I called the school to let them know where you'd run off to. They're giving you both the next week off." Donald waited until Tara nodded in acknowledgement to continue. "We are going to make arrangements for your mother this afternoon. We are going as a family, and you are both to do as I say. Is that clear Tara?"

"Y-yes sir."

"Good. I don't want you leaving this house until then."

Tara nodded again and went to their computer. She sent an e-mail to Willow telling her it was okay to tell their friends about her mother, but not to call her until tomorrow. She didn't want to incense her father further by having the phone tied up answering her friends' questions while he wanted them to be dealing with this as a family on their own.

Willow was sad Tara didn't want them talking to her, but having never lost a mom, she certainly wasn't in any position to tell her how to grieve. Buffy and Xander could tell right away something was wrong when they saw Willow, and when she explained what had happened she broke down and cried harder than she had let herself in front of Tara. The trio ended up in a three-way hug and spent their Friday avoiding the last day of Career Week and trying to figure what they could do for their friend.

…

Friday and Saturday were ordeals to get through. Tara just had to remind herself that if she endured until graduation, she could get away. Despite being in close contact the three Maclays spoke even less with each other than usual, Donny seeming to be determined to detach from reality and Tara acting numb to the world. Willow sent her an e-mail Saturday morning checking in and asking permission for the Slaying gang to come to the funeral. She agreed, touched that they would come to a service for a woman most of them had only met once or twice.

One advantage of living in Sunnydale was the speed and quality of funerary services. They were able to get a slot after the regular service at the church Donald attended. A wiry man was just finishing digging out the grave when they arrived at the cemetery. He watched the family as he left, giving them a solemn nod. Only a few members of the church congregation showed up, as well as some employees of the bank Donald managed. The Scoobies arrived and formed a cluster together. Willow and Xander had come alone, but Joyce and Dawn came with Buffy. The youngest Summers was especially distraught, having spent the evening with Eileen just before her death. Xander was dressed up and for some reason had bandages wrapped around one hand. Giles was more composed than the others, and Tara just assumed it was because he had been around death the longest. She didn't know about the promise he had made on Thanksgiving, and that he was now considering how to fulfill it.

Tara stood and tried not to show her pain as a holy man of a religion her mother hadn't followed spoke words about an afterlife she hadn't believed in. She didn't begrudge the other mourners their beliefs and prayers, but it wasn't how Eileen would have wanted to go. Tara kept looking back to her friends, taking solace in that they knew what kind of woman her mother had been. Once the service was finished she went over to them, receiving hugs from each of them in turn, Dawn holding on the longest. They gave her condolences and words of affection, and the frustration of the funeral lessened slightly. Joyce and Giles went to talk with other adults, leaving Dawn and the teenagers to talk amongst themselves.

"Cordelia's here. With her parents." Buffy said, looking over to where Donald was talking to an immaculately dressed couple standing a yard away from Cordelia. "Didn't see that coming."

Tara had been too focused on other things to notice the Chases arriving. She vaguely knew they had a business relationship with her father and were one of the wealthiest families in town. She hadn't expected them to show up at the funeral. Cordelia was standing with her arms held tightly to her chest uncomfortably, a stance that reminded Tara of herself when she was somewhere she felt out of place. The brunette met her gaze and gave her a sincere look of sympathy. Cordy seemed about to walk over to join them, but her eyes met Xander's and she stopped.

The gang made an invitation to Tara to spend the rest of the day with them, since even Xander could tell Tara didn't want to stay with her father and brother. They spent the evening at the Summers house, watching bad television and alternating between talking about Eileen and nothing at all.

…

On Monday morning Tara surprised them all by coming to class. Buffy and Willow walked alongside her as they went to their lockers to get ready.

"Didn't they give you the week off?" Buffy asked, "I'd want to be gone for a lot longer if it was me."

The blonde witch shook her head.

"I-I'd rather be here. If I stayed in that house any longer, I think I might lose it."

She closed her locker door and sighed. She didn't want to explain that being with the Scoobies was the only thing that made going through this bearable, because that would be revealing just how much she couldn't stand the place she had to go to at the end of the day. That could lead to questions, and attempts at intervention, and her current plan was to just ride things out until she could get free. She didn't need to get her friends any more caught up in her problems than they already were.

Willow could relate to enjoying school more than home, but she wasn't satisfied with Tara's status. After the night they spent together, she had resolved to do whatever she could to help Tara through this. It was completely the wrong time to put her romantic feelings on her, Willow knew that. But that was all right. What Tara needed right now was a friend, and Willow was going to be the greatest friend she could be. Anything else between them was just going to be further in the future, that was all.

The witches walked to class together, leaving Buffy to attend to her own locker activities. She felt someone approach her and turned to see it was Cordelia.

"Hey." The Slayer said, unsure of what she wanted.

"Hey." Cordy repeated, eyes shifting between Buffy and the floor. "So, Mrs. Maclay…"

"Yeah." Buffy said lamely. She still didn't quite know how to talk about this sort of thing despite all the deaths she was connected to in some way. "It's weird. Like, you get so used to people around here dying from monsters and curses you forget that they die from normal things too."

"You don't really forget," Cordelia disagreed. "But even guys like Daryl who die the normal way end up being brought back as Frankensteins or zombies." She sighed in exasperation. "This town is so screwed up."

Buffy bit back the urge to tell her that Frankenstein was the doctor, not the monster, something Giles and Willow had made sure she was aware of after the whole Daryl incident.

"You going to talk to Tara? You didn't say anything at the funeral." The blonde said, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

"I guess, but I don't really know her that well, you know?" Cordy said with a shrug. "And I don't want to be one of those people who comes around with some fatty casserole and says 'Sorry for your loss'. I mean yeah, you're sorry, lot of good that does right?" Her eyes went back to the floor for a second before she made eye contact again. "I know after Daryl died I wanted people to listen, not say things to me. And I know she'd rather talk to one of you guys than me."

Buffy could tell there was some envy in Cordelia's voice, but couldn't think of what for.

Over the rest of the day the Slayer's thoughts moved from Tara and her mother to thoughts of her own mother. Seeing two people who loved each other separated permanently had sparked something in her. She found Tara after their last class and asked to speak to her alone. They ended up in the same classroom Tara had asked to join the Scoobies in months ago.

"W-what did you want to talk about?" Tara assumed it was another check in on her emotional state and an offer of help. She had certainly gotten plenty of those from Willow today.

"What happened with you and your mom, it's made me do a lot of thinking." Buffy began. "About, how life can end, and people can lose their chance to say things to each other." Tara nodded. "And I've been thinking a lot about my mother, and all the things that I won't have said to her if we… get separated."

"You're scared she'll die before you can say them." Tara said, but Buffy shook her head.

"It's not her I'm worried about, it's me." Buffy looked down, lips pressing into a tighter frown. "I just think about what would have happened if Xander hadn't brought me back last year. They would have had to bring her my drowned body, and she'd have no idea why it happened. Dawn, she knows what I am, and I know how badly it would hurt her if I died, but my mom, she doesn't even know what I have to do at night. I could end up being a second too slow stabbing a demon, it could all be over and I just…"

She took a deep breath and looked up at Tara, feeling guilty for dumping her own issues on her so soon after her tragedy.

"I want to tell her what I am. I don't want to die slaying and have her not know why."

"You'd really want to tell her?" Tara asked. "Have you told Mr. Giles?"

"No, and I know he'd tell me I shouldn't, but I can't keep lying to her and sneaking off like this. Keeping secrets, putting myself in danger she doesn't know about, I just can't. I don't care about the whole secret identity thing, leave that to Spider-man or whoever."

"I-I get it. If you feel that strongly, then you should." The taller blonde said understandingly. "We'll all be right behind you."

"Actually, I was wondering if you could help me." Tara's brows knitted in confusion. "I need to convince her that I'm telling her the truth so she doesn't think I'm crazy. If you come with me then I can show her that the supernatural is for real."

"Like, cast a s-spell in front of her?" The witch asked nervously.

"Just one of your twinkly lights or something. It's totally okay if you don't want to just… It would be a big help."

Tara suspected Buffy wanted moral support as well as magical support, but was reluctant to admit it to her.

When Tara didn't respond quickly Buffy began to worry she had asked too much.

"I know, I know, this is a really bad time to be asking you. Just, forget I said anything…"

"N-no, I'll do it." Tara interrupted. She'd much rather spend the evening with the Summers than face Donny's surliness and her father's cold rage. "When would you want to? T-tonight?"

"Sure, if you're cool with it." Buffy said, surprised but relieved.

…

Joyce invited Tara in not long after Dawn had retired to her room for the night. Buffy greeted her and turned to her mother.

"Um, mom, there's something I want to talk to you about. Tara's, here to help me explain, because, it kind of involves her too." She looked to Tara who gave her a slight nod. Buffy took a breath and gestured to the couch. "Could we sit down?"

"All right." The three women went into the living room and Joyce took the chair so the teens could sit on the couch. She looked between the younger blondes in concern. "Are you in some kind of trouble Buffy?"

"Uh, no." Buffy hedged. She wasn't in any active trouble at the least. "It's just, there's something I need to tell you about me. I've been hiding it for a long time, because I was afraid of how you'd react." Joyce's expression softened. "But after what happened with Tara's mom, I realized I don't want to keep secrets from you anymore."

The Slayer looked at Tara again, who gave her a small supportive smile. Before Buffy could finish Joyce interjected.

"I have a feeling I know what you're going to tell me." She said smiling kindly.

"You do?" Buffy said, eyebrows shooting up in alarm. Her mother was being oddly calm if she had really figured it out. "And, you're cool with it?"

Joyce nodded.

"I understand why you've been scared to tell me, and it was very sweet of Tara to come with you." Buffy was confused. This was going very differently than she had pictured. "I mean, I'm kind of surprised, because you like going after cute boys so much. But I want you to know who ever you love, I will always love you."

Tara felt a laugh bubbling up inside of her, and it almost escaped her before she remembered she wasn't supposed to be laughing yet.

I guess she misinterpreted all those looks we were giving each other. Tara thought amused.

Buffy's jaw was hanging open in shock.

"What? Mom, that's not… we're not gay." Buffy said flailing.

"Actually, I'm…" Tara trailed off. Given Mrs. Summers' reaction to the possibility of her own daughter dating a girl, Tara felt she might as well add her to the list of people she was out to.

"Well, Tara's gay, but we don't… gay, together…" Buffy's hand gestures were getting odder, not sure how the conversation had gone in this direction. She waved, eager to get back to the subject she was meant to be addressing. Joyce's smile had been replaced by a confused frown. "… that's not what I wanted to talk about."

"Then what is?" Her mother asked.

"Do you remember those freaky looking people who attacked the school during the parent teacher conference?" Joyce nodded, her frown deepening. "They weren't on PCP. They were vampires. And I slay them."

Joyce heaved a deep sigh.

"Oh Buffy… vampires? I thought we were past this…"

Tara could feel a burst of anger from Buffy's spirit.

"I knew you wouldn't understand."

"Understand what Buffy, that you're acting like horror movie creatures are real again? How am I supposed to react?" Mrs. Summers said, her voice raising.

"You could try listening to me before you throw me in a mental hospital like you did last time." A tear fell from the Slayer's right eye. "When Dawn showed you my diary, you and dad didn't even give me a chance to explain before you called the doctors. Why do you think I've waited so long to tell you?"

Tara nearly gasped. She had never questioned Buffy's decision to keep her powers hidden from her mother, but she didn't know she'd been hospitalized. Of course Buffy wouldn't have wanted to tell Joyce about being the Slayer if her parent's response the first time had been to institutionalize her.

"Buffy, you need help." Joyce said pleadingly.

"I'm not crazy!" Buffy shouted. "That's why I brought Tara here. To prove to you that those things I wrote about are real."

"S-she's telling the truth." Tara said shakily, the older woman's attention having turned to her. "Buffy's a vampire Slayer. We all help her. I-I help her because I'm… I'm a witch."

"A witch?" Joyce asked, sounding overwhelmed.

Tara chanted, a blue orb of light forming in front of her. She moved it around the room slowly before letting it settle into a slow orbit around her head. Mrs. Summers reached out to touch it tentatively. The woman gasped a little at its warmth. She flopped back into the chair, putting a hand to her forehead.

"I… this is a lot to take in." She paused before looking back at Tara. "Could you give us a few minutes alone?"

"O-of course." Tara got up and went to the kitchen. She tried not to listen in on the conversation, but the Summers women had voices that carried well.

"Are you sure about this? I mean, have you tried not being a vampire Slayer? It's because you didn't have a strong father figure, isn't it?"

"It's just fate mom. I'm the Slayer. Accept it."

"Well, I can't just accept that! This is insane."

"Open your eyes mom. What do you think has been going on for the past two years? The fights, the weird occurrences? How many times have you washed blood out of my clothing and you still haven't figured it out?"

"Well, it stops now!"

"No, it doesn't stop! It never stops! Do… do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is? How dangerous? I would love to be upstairs watching TV, or gossiping about boys, or… God, even studying! But I have to do this, or people die."

The argument went on for a while longer until Tara heard Joyce going up the stairs. She peeked her head into the living room and saw Buffy hanging her head in her hands. Tara tentatively took a seat beside her friend.

"I-I'm sorry." Tara said.

"Don't be. She at least calmed down enough not to call the hospital this time." The Slayer looked at the staircase. "She wants to talk to Giles. Maybe he'll have more luck getting her to accept it. Not that I was much better when I got told." Buffy smiled bitterly. "Thank you. And sorry about outing you like that."

"I-it's fine. I mean, she's okay with it, so I don't really mind her knowing." Tara assured her.

"I'm sure she'd be happier if I was just gay." Buffy said with a slight groan. She looked at Tara contemplatively for a moment. "Did it suck that much when you, came out?"

"My mom had about your mom's reaction when I told her. The um, first good one when she thought we were going out, not the bad Slayer one." Tara fidgeted before admitting more. She felt like opening up to Buffy after learning something private about the Slayer tonight. "My father… he was really angry at first. But as long as I kept it to myself he kind of let it go."

"I'm sorry." Buffy said. "I know you're not really comfortable at home right now, and I'd offer to let you stay here, but with the shit storm my whole slaying confession just kicked up I don't know that our place would be much better."

It would, Tara thought darkly.

Even in the midst of Buffy and Joyce's fight, the Summers felt more like a family than hers. It would be better to wait for things to cool down before any overnight visit though.

"That's okay. Willow's told me I can stay with her if I need to. But thank you."

"That's good."

"I hope you guys are going to be okay." Tara said, unsure if she should leave Buffy alone with things still so tense between her and her mom.

"Me too." Buffy said with a sigh. "She did say she's been keeping something to herself too. Dawn's been saying for a couple of weeks now that she's got a new boyfriend because she bought a bunch of new clothes and she's been wearing a lot more make up. Maybe the kid's onto something."

"Could be." Mention of Mrs. Summers dating reminded Tara of something she hadn't heard discussed. "Did you tell her about Angel?" Tara asked. That was one of the most complicated things that had arisen from Buffy's life as the chosen one.

"No. I figure I can tell her I'm dating a cradle-robbing creature of the night after she's had time to process the Slayer thing. Like, maybe in ten years."

Tara was past her curfew getting back to her house, but she didn't care. Tonight, she had been useful to someone. She had always tried to be useful to her mother. She still had regrets about not doing more sooner, but all she could do was live her life the way her mother had always taught her to.