Chapter 3 – When the First Victim Falls

"Oka-san?" Sasuke asked, sleep still clogging his mind. His mother's face was pale in the moonlight and the grasp of her fingers was like iron on his arm.

"Sasuke, you went to see Shisui-kun in the evening, didn't you?"

He nodded, still mostly incoherent. But the tiredness slowly spread away and he sat up in the futon, rubbing at his eyes. It had to be at least one in the morning; why wasn't she asleep? Why was she looking at him like that?

"Why did you wake me?" He asked, "I have to go to the academy in the morning."

"Shisui has … passed away. He was found by the river."

Sasuke stilled. Shisui-nii was … again? "Was he attacked?" He asked sharply. His mother was too distracted to notice the intelligence in his tone.

"No, he drowned himself," she said. "But … they suspect Itachi. Somehow they … Sasuke tell me what happened when you went. You were … the last one who spoke to him. "

That couldn't be, it couldn't have happened the same way. This was Shunshin no Shisui, one of the greatest Uchiha shinobi in history. With that kind of warning, he should have been on full alert for days. Sasuke cursed his own childish form, and how no one seemed to take it seriously.

He rubbed the rest of the sleep from his face and looked outside. Definitely one in the morning.

Oka-san still wore her shoes on her feet.

"You weren't there," he began. "I went to Shisui-nii to ask where aniki was. Then I left." He managed to include a strangle in his voice, only because it would seem strange if he wasn't at least slightly shocked to hear of his brother's friend's death.

"Did he say anything else to you?"

"No," Sasuke lied. He remembered something else he'd wanted to ask, "oka-san, what's this event that's happening in a few days? Otou-san mentioned it."

She leaned back, and her attention was no longer on him. It was on the lone window, and the image of her other son in her mind's eye. After a long pause, she turned back with a more controlled expression. "It's not for you to know, Sasuke." Her hands were no longer shaking. She reached out to replace the blankets around him, "it will just bore you. Boring clan matters, ne?"

Sasuke couldn't say anything to that, because it was likely he would have been bored by clan matters. Even through he now burned with curiosity. "Can I go back to sleep?" He asked bluntly.

"Yes, Sasuke. It's ok if you don't want to go to the academy tomorrow," she ran her fingers through his hair absently. "We are having Shisui's … funeral this evening."

"I want to go," it would be inconvenient if he was stuck inside, there were a few things he needed to buy as soon as he had the chance.

"Fine, that's good," she seemed almost proud, as if he were exhibiting strength. "Don't say any more about this, ok? Let them … let them investigate the truth by themselves. If you say something they might take it the wrong way, and Itachi will be in more trouble."

"I'll stay quiet."

"Good," she gave his head one last pat and then stood up. Sasuke looked back down at her shoes; they were scuffed with running. It seemed that she had run directly into his house and headed for his bedroom. He wondered what could ever shake the collected Uchiha Mikoto so much.

It struck in the morning when his mind was most vulnerable.

Sasuke woke up and yawned widely, stretching around in the futon and ambling well onto the floor before he finally deemed himself prepared to wake up. It took another ten minutes before he woke up in front of the mirror in the bathroom, washing his hands. The water ran burning hot over his soapy hands for a second before he changed it, and that was what snapped him.

What … what am I doing?

He looked up at his image in the mirror. A seven-year-old face peered back.

I have academy today! And I'll ask oka-san to put extra eggs in my bento …

What am I saying?

… And after class I'll walk home with Kaeru …

Stop.

… And then in the evening when aniki comes back, we'll go train shurikenjutsu in the back grounds because he promised …

Stop. His own voice rang out in his head before he came back to himself. His hands withdrew, soap studs still clinging to them, and he grasped at his face. The warmth immediately lulled him back into that state.

Hey, why'd I walk home with that Naruto kid? Oka-san told me never to go near him, didn't she?

I have to plan how to do it.

Hmm, otou-san won't be happy that I talked to a civilian girl. Maybe I should try talking to Hinata-chan again…

To kill.

Maybe I could show otou-san my last test grade. I placed ninety-eighth percentile. That has to be better than aniki, right?

Him.

Aniki!

Sasuke screamed.

The sound echoed through the white walls of the bathroom, filtering into the rooms beyond. He sank to the floor and held his head in both hands, feeling the panic slowly settle in. He threw everything at it blindly, trying to do something to make it stop. Footsteps clattered outside and the door burst open.

"Sasuke!" Mikoto saw him crouched against the wall and crouched down to pull him away, shaking his small shoulders. "What happened? Are you all right? Sasuke, wake up!" She slapped him, controlling the force to jerk the cloudiness from his eyes.

His cheek seared with pain. Sasuke looked up slowly, feeling his vision slowly refocus. His mother's panicked expression floated there in front of him.

Get up, she's so worried! I don't want to worry oka-san!

I've stopped mourning her. She's not my priority anymore.

Did she slap me? Ouch, that hurt. She's not mad at me, right? What did I do?

Get out.

That's … that's so weird, I don't remember anything …

Get out!

He collapsed into her arms after exerting one last strike against it. His heavy breathing filled the small bathroom and Mikoto ran her hands comfortingly through his hair. The motion was soothing, peaceful. But it was too familiar. If she had done that seconds earlier, he wouldn't have been able to win.

"Shh," she said. "It's ok. I know you're troubled about Shisui's death, but it's all right. Shinobi die, that's always happened."

Sasuke gritted his teeth even as he endured the soft words. She didn't need to tell him that. He'd seen more death that her. Uchiha Mikoto had been a specialized kunoichi, only dealing with the smoothest, cleanest of deaths. She'd never seen a person's life spill out from his stomach.

Why was she holding him like that? She … she wasn't allowed to help him.

Sasuke slowly pushed away, controlling his breathing. "I'm fine, oka-san." He managed somewhat of a smile, "will you put extra eggs in my lunch today?"

She seemed slightly taken aback, but nodded slowly, telling herself that this was his way to cope. "Sure, Sasuke."

That day at lunch, he sat under the same at the far end of the playground, and Naruto seemed to have taken it upon himself to sit with him all the time. He was tempted to block his ears to protect them from the boy's overly cheerful talk.

The playground was mostly empty since most of the kids ate at the indoor tables. Ten minutes in, a familiar girl peeked out from behind the academy building, pink bangs falling into her face. Sasuke spotted her immediately, but he kept silent, hoping she would give up and go away.

Unfortunately, Naruto noticed her as well. He paused mid-word, leapt up, and ran behind the building to pull at her hand. "Sakura-chan! Wanna come eat with us?"

She glared at him, before turning to look shyly at Sasuke. "Um, is that ok, Sasuke-kun?"

He sighed at the blush that dusted her small cheeks. It seemed like it had started all over again. Silly him for assuming that seven year old girls were not yet susceptible to the horror that was infatuation.

"Sasuke's fine with it," Naruto told as her he dragged her towards their sitting spot under the shade of the tree.

She sat gingerly in front of him. One hand was behind her back, but Sasuke couldn't see what she held. "Um, hi again, Sasuke-kun."

"Hn." He went back to eating his lunch.

"Sakura-chan's really nice," Naruto offered helpfully. "She just doesn't have a lot of friends here because they're all idiots who think she's not pretty."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Shut up," Sakura said glumly, adjusting her bangs again. She looked torn between assuring him otherwise and, well, not lying.

"What? It's ok to not have friends, isn't it? It just means you haven't found anyone worth being friends with yet," Naruto patted her hand, which she quickly drew back with a glare.

"Doesn't mean you have to say it out loud," she muttered.

Sasuke was starting to think that maybe it would have been better to stay at home. But there was another reason he forced himself to endure their presence.

They reminded him who he was.

At home, in the Uchiha compound, the feeling of disambiguation lingered at the back of his mind, prepared to strike at any moment and force him into another episode. But when he was there amidst Naruto's chatter, it was gone. Even if this wasn't the Naruto he'd known, it was a difference large enough to cause a change.

"Sakura-chan, why don't you have your lunch with you?" Naruto was asking.

The girl was gritting her teeth and suffering through all of his talk. It was clear that she had only come to see Sasuke, and Naruto was getting in her way. One hand was still behind her back, holding something they couldn't see. "I don't eat lunch," she huffed. "I'm on a diet. I drank green tea earlier." That didn't stop her from shooting longing looks at the umeboshi in Sasuke's bento.

Naruto looked utterly confused at that; the idea of not eating was new to him. Instead, he peered behind Sakura's back. "Hey, what's that?"

She blushed further, before turning away from him to keep it hidden. But he was sitting beside her, so when she turned Sasuke was able to see what she held. It was a large daisy, and she clasped its stem in her small hand. He raised an eyebrow at her.

Realizing that he'd seen it, she held it uncertainly out in front of her. "Um … this is for you, Sasuke-kun."

He regarded the flower, not moving to take it. It was one of the daisies from the gardens in front of the academy, except most of them were wild and had petals missing. This one was perfectly formed; she had to have spent some time searching for one that was this perfect.

"I just though I'd give it to you because it's pretty and Ithinkyoureprettytoo," she stumbled, still holding it out. Her voice faltered at the end when she realized he wasn't even moving to put down his chopsticks.

Pretty? He'd never gotten 'pretty'. But she was seven and 'pretty' was probably the most pleasing word she knew. Sasuke watched her carefully, noting how she bit her lip and how her pink bangs fell messily over her eyes. This was Sakura, but it was a different Sakura.

Not many civilians succeeded as shinobi. Most dropped out within their first year, when they saw for the first time the gulf that separated them from the children with shinobi parents. It was a simple fact that civilian children weren't brought up with the kind of physical and metal assurance that being a ninja required. He'd seen Sakura for the first time two years before his graduation, and had been mildly surprised that the scrawny civilian girl with the large forehead had made it into her fourth year at the academy.

The only thing that had allowed her to succeed was her surprisingly sharp mind, and even then it was often dulled by insecurity.

The flower was still being held out to him.

Normally, he would toss it back and mutter a cutting remark and Sakura – the second member of Team Seven – would sheepishly rub the back of her head, look momentarily hurt, and try again the next day. But this Sakura wouldn't do that. This Sakura wasn't jaded by rejection and failure; she was still a little girl with a fragile crush.

Sometimes, Kabuto would teasingly deliver updates on intel he'd received about Konoha's shinobi. He knew that Sakura had become the student of the Hokage, and that there were rumors of her helping take down an Akatsuki member. Somehow, that weak team member who'd once dragged them down as much as Naruto had become something. Just like he held grudging respect for Naruto's determination…

He recognized that it took strength to escape the confines of mediocrity.

Naruto was watching them with a strange look. Sasuke could tell that he wanted Sasuke to take the flower, if only so that she'd sit with them again. He was valiantly putting aside his own childish crush for her sake.

Sasuke looked at the daisy thoughtfully, realizing for the first time exactly how different his teammates were. He'd seen their final position but he'd never seen how far they'd climbed, or how low they'd started.

And he knew that her small heart was in that daisy. That was why he made his decision.

"Ch. I don't want it," he told her.

"Sasuke, stop tapping your pencil," Iruka's voice rang out in the silent classroom. "You've been doing that for a while now. If you're stuck on one of the questions, you can skip it and move to the next one."

"I'm finished."

The entire class was looking at him incredulously, pencils pausing from scribbling answers on their test papers. In front of him, Kiba scoffed.

"Yeah right, it's only been ten minutes."

"I've written all the answers. I'll hand in my paper, then. Class finishes in forty minutes, right? I'll leave early," Sasuke stood up, taking his test with him. He walked to the front of the classroom and left the sheet on Iruka-sensei's desk. Iruka-sensei took the paper in confusion and his eyes scanned over the answers, written in surprisingly neat script.

"This … is very good, Sasuke," he praised. "Even for you, it's exceptional. You've been studying hard." He smiled proudly.

"Ch." Sasuke glared back and then turned on his heel towards the door. There was no need pretending in school as well; no one there was skilled enough to suspect anything, and even if they did, time travel would be the last thing to spring to their mind.

No one stopped him when he left the classroom and walked out with his hands in his pockets, navigating the bright hallways of the academy. All the other students were still in their classes, doing their semi-final exams. The building was unusually quiet and his footsteps echoed.

He narrowed his eyes in thought as he left the academy and walked out into the afternoon air. It was too big to ignore anymore, there was a chance one of the episodes would strike his mind again. The high, childish voice that permeated his thoughts and forced him to doubt his own existence. They were illusions, thoughts that took hold of him and made use of the familiar atmosphere. Nothing more. If he could only change that atmosphere, create a difference large enough …

Kill Itachi. Save the clan.

… then they would go away and he would stop doubting himself. But for those days before that, he had to stay sane.

But first, he had to train. There was no way he could defeat Itachi in fair battle in this form, but he had to be ready in case something went wrong. Sasuke had never been a planner, no matter what Kakashi-sensei drilled into him. In a way, he recognized that hewas as impulsive as the dobe. But the plans came to him when he was pushed, when it mattered.

"Sasuke! Wait for me!"

He stopped and turned at the voice, groaning silently when he saw who it was. A yellow-haired boy was running towards him, and the academy building door was closing from where it had been swung open.

"Naruto?" He asked, watching as the boy stopped, panting, before him. "Why are you here?"

"I handed my paper in early!" Naruto beamed. His voice was light but there was apprehension in his eyes.

Sasuke frowned, "there was no way you could have known all those answers." The dobe had failed three times, and his writing was barely legible. There was probably still thirty minutes of test-time left.

He stuck his tongue out, "I didn't know any of the answers. No point wasting time, right?"

Well, that was probably how he'd failed. Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "you're hopeless."

"I don't know why we need to know about political structure-stuff anyway," the boy shrugged, clasping his hands behind his head as he fell into step beside him. "I mean, aren't we supposed to be learning how to fight people? Being able to name all the previous daimyo isn't gonna help me."

"It will," Sasuke stressed, although he didn't know why he bothered. "To join things like the council or become one of the Guardian Ninja, you need to be well-versed in political background."

The boy furrowed his eyebrows; that was new to him. He looked at Sasuke curiously, "so I can't be Hokage if I don't know all the daimyo's names?"

"No, probably not. The Godaime knows even more than that."

Naruto grinned, "jiji's the Sandaime, not the Godaime, silly."

Sasuke kept silent, inwardly hitting himself for the slip.

"But if I have to know their stupid names, then I'll do it!" He clenched his fists in exuberance. "I'll have all their policy stuff learnt by tomorrow!"

Sasuke was torn between thinking him completely stupid and being relatively amused at his enthusiasm. They took the same route as before, through the long street between the riverbank and the lines of trees. The silence managed to persist for a few minutes before Naruto spoke.

"Hey, Sasuke?"

"Hn."

"Why did you say that?"

Sasuke glanced at him, "what?"

"To Sakura-chan. She ran away, you hurt her feelings," he said carefully. The girl had run away with watery eyes at his harsh tone. Naruto had run after her, but with the way he'd looked when he'd come back, she'd probably just hit him.

"She'll get over it. She had a silly crush on me."

"How to I get her to have a crush on me instead?" Naruto asked, hands still clasped behind his head as they walked.

"You don't. She doesn't like you; just leave her alone."

There was silence as he considered that. But he was Naruto and he couldn't stay moody for too long.

"Hey, Sasuke?"

"Hn."

"We're friends, right?"

He almost paused in his step. Friends? After two days of knowing each other's names? What kind of standards did this boy have? In the future, Sasuke had reluctantly – between gritted teeth, after months of prodding – admitted that maybe the idiotic dobe and the annoying pink-haired girl were somewhat friends, but this was different. Naruto hadn't known him for nearly as long. How could he say something like that so easily?

"Why do you ask?"

"I'll tell you after you answer me." Naruto told him brightly. "And your parents won't get mad at you if you're my friend, right?"

"I don't care." He could smile and nod to Uchiha Fugaku later on. That man didn't deserve his obedience.

But Naruto was starting to look more worried. They arrived at the gates of the clan compound, but he stopped in his tracks and put a small hand on Sasuke's shoulder to stop him too. "You … you'll get in trouble?"

"Didn't I say I didn't care?" Idiot. Like always.

"I don't want you to get in trouble. You're really nice."

Nice? Was he brain-damaged?

"I mean, nice in a different way," Naruto explained. "Nice, like 'interesting'. Because you look like you know me already and you're ok with it." Not many people are. He struggled with how to express the concept.

Sasuke paused. He could understand what the boy meant; it was that look of familiarity that passed so frequently between friends. He was familiar with Naruto, and no one else was. He found himself wondering about the level of subtle observance that required. Usually, the dobe was about as subtle as a kick in the pants.

But he turned and walked the rest of the way, pausing with his hand on the wooden gate. He turned to glance back with an annoyed look, "I'm busy for the rest of the evening."

The boy had one hand buried within the pocket of his orange jumpsuit, and the excited look on his face was slowly melting away. "Sasuke, we are friends, right?"

"Ch. You're not supposed to say that after only knowing me for two days." It was ridiculous to trust someone that quickly. Sasuke pushed the gate inwards and slipped through, determined to get back and find out what was happening with Itachi now that Shisui's death was being investigated.

Naruto was left standing outside, clasping the Ichiraku Ramen coupon in his small fingers. He didn't know. It was his first time having a friend.