Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Lyrics in this Chapter:

Survivor Guilt – Rise Against

Broken Skyline-CrashCarBurn

I'd like to thank the two beta's who rewrote en corrected my errors in this chapter: angelnlove52 and Browneyedgirl825!Thank you guys for taking the time to rewrite this for me. I appreciate it and could not have done this without you.

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Carry on, don't mind me

All I gave was everything

And yet you ask me for more

Fought your fight

Bought your lie

And in return I lost my life

What purpose does this serve?

(Survivor Guilt – Rise Against)

Chapter Two – Never expected this

EPOV

"Hey, Edward!" A familiar voice yelled. I looked around, searching for the screeching voice that belonged to my sister. I grinned when I spotted her at the entrance of Twilight. She waved like a crazy person, jumping up and down on her short legs and I couldn't help but chuckle.

Twilight was a local punk club in Seattle and from the reviews I read, it was pretty sick – in a good way. They have the most bad ass live performances from local bands and by that I meant that things got pretty rough in there. This would be our first time coming here and from their line-up, I was pretty excited about tonight. Emmett wanted to try this place since he had heard so much about it and I found them online and read up on it.

"Alice." I nodded my head when I reached her. She gave me an awkward hug while Tanya clung to my hand. I sighed. She acted like a fucking ten-year-old facing the big city for the first time. Either that or she was just trying to raise her leg and pee on me—women think this is something only a guy does…so not true, girls are just as guilty.

Mine and Alice's relationship had been shitty for a while, but I took full responsibility for that. That was all on me, I pushed her away after Bella left. I treated her like shit and took every fucking hateful emotion I had out on her.

Alice was my twin – she used to be my everything, apart from Bella. She was short, had crazy fucking black hair and blue eyes. She was sweet, funny and a total fashion control freak. Plus, she was married to my best friend, Jasper Whitlock.

"Where's Jazz and Em?" I asked. She looked sad for a moment but hid her emotions quickly. I missed her terribly, but didn't know how to fix our relationship. It had been years since we had any semblance of a kinship.

"Inside," she whispered. "We just arrived. I waited for you guys while they got us a table," she said. She didn't wait for a reply as she turned around and entered the club.

"Are you sure we're at the right place?" Tanya whispered into my ear. I frowned back at her and pulled her to a stop.

"Please don't start your shit tonight," I hissed. Tanya was used to five-star places - Twilight was no five-star club. She was about to come down to earth a little, and she was gonna fall down hard.

She looked completely surprised and baffled. "What?"

"Don't act so innocent, Tan, I want to enjoy myself tonight. You're a grown-ass woman." I wiped my hand down my face. "Start acting like one."

I left her there in the middle of the club and followed Alice. I knew I was being a bastard but I didn't give a shit. I was at my wits end. Ever since this afternoon I felt something in me change. Maybe it was because I let myself feel for a split second, I allowed her in my life for an instant and she poisoned my heart like she always does.

"Ed!" My brother's voice boomed loudly above the electric guitar riffs. I smiled as soon as I saw his tall posture standing out. I grabbed him and we hugged each other. I missed him so much and it was crap not seeing him so much.

"You're looking good," I said, squeezing his muscles. He smiled widely, showing off his deep dimples. My eyes caught Alice's facial expression and my heart ached when I saw the hurt across her face. How could I have pushed her away? She could have helped me in so many ways….

"Thanks bro," he said and slapped me on my shoulder. "Where's Tanya?" he asked. I rolled my eyes but turned around to search for her.

"There she is." I pointed in her direction when I spotted her exactly where I left her. I frowned. She could stand there the remainder of the night for all I cared, I wasn't going to let her ruin this night. She acted like a little girl whenever we were in public….

"I see you're still a fucking prick," Em boomed and I shrugged. "What's up with the two of you?" he asked.

"Same old," I answered simply. "Jazz," I nodded in hello to my friend.

"Long time no see." He chuckled in sarcasm. I grinned back at him.

"Hey, Tanya," Emmett suddenly said and gave her an awkward hug.

She gave me a furious look before she joined Alice at the table. This was also funny as hell because Tanya and Alice didn't get along that well. I think their fashion-differences were a place of constant arguments, to the point where Jazz and I wanted to run away.

I opened myself up a lot today and it took me a while to get myself together and get a grip on my emotions. It was too bad Tanya was the closest person to me at this moment and I was taking it out on her.

"So." I grinned while punching my brother. "Why are you grinning like an idiot and what the fuck is with the sparkle in your pretty, little, blue eyes?" I asked. He chuckled but didn't answer.

"Let's grab a beer," he suggested to me and Jasper, nodding his head toward the bar.

"Oh, hell yeah." Jazz pulled his face into a look of pain, "I'm dying of thirst here."

"Jazz, you were born thirsty." Emmett chuckled. It was really good seeing my brother so joyful.

We made our way through the jumping crowd toward the bar.

"Who told you about this place?" I asked Emmett.

"Someone I met a few days ago - she works here." He grinned again. I stared at him in surprise but then it struck me like a bolt of lightning. I smiled widely and slapped him on the back.

"Who is she? Your new girlfriend?" I asked. His head snapped up and he came to a halt in the middle of the club. Something weird came into his eyes, something I never saw before. He looked extremely happy for a moment and then extremely sad at the same time.

"She wants nothing to do with me, that's who she is," he simply answered and pushed past the people jumping to the music. I was baffled and it took me a few seconds to run after him and grab him by his wrist.

"Em-" I said and pulled him back. "What the fuck is up with you?" I asked in concern.

"I met this girl that came for a check-up at the hospital – not my patient, just to be clear. We ran into each other, literally, and I asked her out." He clasped his hands over his face and sighed loudly. "There was just something there, you know? We went out a couple of times and then we started talking about our families-"

"You don't like her family?" I interrupted him.

"No." He pinched the bridge of his nose and then looked directly into my eyes. "Exactly the other way around."

I stared at him in shock, waiting for him to laugh and tell me it was a joke. But he was very serious….

"What? You're kidding me, right?"

"Nope," he popped the 'p'. "As soon as she learned I was in your band and learned that I was part of the Cullens she ran off, telling me that she never wanted to see me again." He sounded just as baffled as he looked.

"So what, our name is the problem? What the fuck is her problem?" I asked annoyed.

"I don't think it has anything to do with our name, she knew my surname when we met. It's your name and the band's name that freaked her out," he said.

"That's a little weird."

"Tell me about it. She wouldn't clarify, though," he said.

"Hey, what's going on?" Jazz asked. "I almost made it to the front of the bar when I noticed you weren't there - felt like a fucking idiot when I started to look around for the two of you." he pulled his face in annoyance.

"Sorry, dude, we're talking about Em's new girlfriend-"

"She's not my girlfriend," Em interrupted me.

"Ex, then." I shrugged.

"Whoa, you had a girlfriend?" Jazz asked surprised.

"Don't act so surprised, for fuck sakes!" Em groaned, running his hand down his face.

"Hey, it's been years! So forgive me for being a little surprised," Jazz said.

"Okay, okay, let's get a beer and then we'll talk about it at the table because we're looking like dicks discussing this in the middle of the club - shouting at each other, if I might add," I suggested.

The bar was busy and I waited to be helped while Emmett and Jasper continued talking. When I eventually got to the front of the bar, I noticed the brunette working behind it. She was standing with her back toward me - and that was exactly what I noticed, her sexy as hell ass. My eyes scanned her endlessly long legs showing off underneath her ridiculously short black dress.

I turned to Jazz and Em and nudged them with my elbow, rolling my head in the girl's direction to avert their gazes. As soon as Emmett's eyes looked past me at the bar lady, his face turned pale while Jazz's face filled with shock…that was when I turned my head back to her, thinking their facial expressions could either have meant she was sexy as fuck or it could have meant that her ass was the only sexy thing on her body.

So many emotions must have crossed my face and filled my eyes as everything felt like a rollercoaster ride inside my heart. For a moment, my heart stopped beating and pounded hard in my throat, which made it merely impossible to swallow or even breathe. My chest constricted painfully as I stared back at the woman who broke my heart completely.

Her face was paler than usual, her eyes widened in shock. She stared at me in complete and utter alarm but then something changed…her eyes filled with fear and her hand – that was holding a beer – started shaking uncontrollably.

"Edward," she whispered and my stomach turned at the sound of her voice. The way my name rolled off her tongue did weird things to my heart, even though her voice trembled with fear.

I didn't know what I felt; so many things, so many emotions danced around inside of me…I was – for a moment – so damn happy to see her after ten years. She hadn't changed one bit and she was still sexy as fuck. And for a moment, my heart felt whole, complete…and it felt so damn good, breathing without it being so hard or painful!

Then I remembered everything that happened and why we're staring at each other in complete shock. Then the bastard in me pushed the happiness aside and made its appearance, filling my heart with all the hate and anger I've carried for ten years. My lungs drained of oxygen and I felt suffocated.

I clenched my jaw as I raked my fingers through my hair.

"Well, well, well!" I clenched my jaw. "If it isn't the runaway girlfriend in the fucking flesh," I spat sarcastically. Her eyes widened even more but then her tiny jaw clenched and I saw fury building up in her eyes.

"If I remember correctly, you had a choice," she hissed.

"See, I remember it differently," I spat.

"Bella," Emmett gasped and I couldn't help but look at my brother, at first I was pissed at him for interrupting me but then I saw his eyes and it almost killed me.

Emmett loved Bella like a sister and it broke his heart when she just left. Everyone was affected when she ran away because everyone loved her. A month after Bella left, we realized that when she left me, she left us all. The shocking reality of this came at Alice's wedding when she was a no-show—no call, no nothing. It destroyed Alice...and I wasn't even there for her, since I was drowning myself in alcohol trying to drink the pain away.

"It's good to see you," he continued, his voice thick with emotion. She looked at him for the first time. A great hurtful expression sprawled across her face and I felt something weird tugging on my heartstrings; sympathy maybe…I dunno. My feelings were so unfamiliar because I've only felt bitterness, hatred, and coldness for so long. Everything else was new to me now.

"Em," she gasped and clasped her hands over her mouth as her eyes filled with tears. This pissed me off because if they ever meant anything to her, she would've at least said goodbye to them! I shook my head and chuckled sarcastically.

"Pfft, please, you can stop pretending you care," I spat. Her brown eyes widened and pools of unshed tears filled them. I clenched my jaw and narrowed my eyes.

"I'm sorry," her lips quivered, "I can't do this. I have to go," she continued. She opened three beers and placed it on the counter top before she turned to leave.

"Aren't you going after her?" Jazz asked as I stared at Bella's back. I frowned and looked at him as if he'd lost his mind, although my heart cried out for me to go after her.

"You're joking, right?" I asked.

"No, I'm not. You've been through hell because of her-"

"All the more reason to let her go," I interrupted. "Before she fucks my life up again," I added.

"Dude, don't be stupid." Emmett said and grabbed my shoulders. "You've wanted this opportunity since she walked away."

"Em," I swallowed hard. I felt my insides shiver as the thought of talking to her crossed my mind. "I can't," I whispered and looked away from him. If there was someone who could see straight through my bitter-façade, it was Emmett. I couldn't hide anything from him….

"Don't be a dick." He grabbed a fistful of my hair to get my attention. "Go after her and talk to her," he said through his teeth.

"I…I can't," I hissed in anger.

"Why?" He sounded confused.

"I don't need a reason, but how about the fact she nearly destroyed my fucking life? This," I grabbed the unopened beer and showed it to Emmett. "This should be a good enough reason."

"Fuck that," he pushed me away, "I'm sorry to say this but a very big part of Bella leaving, was your own damn fault," he continued. I was about to open my mouth but he closed it with his palm. "You're my brother and I love you to death, but you'll never truly go on with your life, unless you get the answers you've always wanted, like why she didn't wait for you that day." He sounded angry. I knew he was right but my feet felt heavy, as if they were plastered to cement.

I started thinking about what Emmett said and my mind went back to ten years ago when she made her ultimatums. Everything in our relationship was fine; she just woke up one morning and decided that she'd had enough and gave me ultimatums - I know that the choices I made have left me broken, but if only she'd waited...if only she hadn't ran out of on me the way she did…if only she let me think about it and make an actual choice instead of ending it like she did.

I remember that day clearly. After I did the sound-check with Jazz, I went to a jewelry store to get her the engagement ring she demanded, because after reality sunk in on what happened in that hotel room, I knew that there was no way in hell I could live without Bella. She was my life and just the thought of her walking away, almost killed me right there. I wanted to be with Bella forever. Nothing was going to change that and if she wanted to get married to stay with me, then so be it. I loved her enough that I would push my thoughts and wants aside for her.

Why I never realized this in that hotel will forever haunt me.

So, after I bought an engagement ring, I went back to our hotel room…only to find a stupid note she wrote.

I can't come second in your life anymore, Edward. I deserve better than that. I wish you luck with your band.

I remember the words as if they were scrawled upon my memory. She signed the note with 'I will love you always and forever – that will never change'

The fact that she left after I begged her to stay, leaving me to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and clean up the sweat every night after seeing her face in my dreams bugged me. It broke me.

I know it was my fault, because of my stubbornness I lost the only thing that truly mattered to me, but even after all ths time, I still felt pissed. Even though we had some misunderstandings before I left for the sound-check, we had been together forever and I couldn't believe she just threw it away. I begged her to wait for me and I honestly thought that she would wait….

That did it. The memory of her note and everything that happened made me go after her. It took me about two more seconds to get a grip on my emotions before I turned around and started running toward the exit of the club. I didn't even know if she left or not.

I pushed through the doors and started looking around; my eyes scanned the sidewalk ferociously for Bella.

She was nowhere to be seen. I felt disappointed but also relieved, the mere thought off talking to her almost gave me a panic attack. I bit down on my bottom lip and grabbed two fistfuls of my hair, groaning softly. I tried to compose myself so my erratic heart could calm the fuck down, but to no avail. I couldn't even blame my traitorous heart because I couldn't even begin to describe how it felt to see her.

Fuck me! It was both amazing and heartbreaking at the same time to see her after ten years. For so long, I almost believed she was just a dream; a vision I had inside of me - an imaginary girlfriend. Everything we had together felt so unreal, and if it weren't for the excruciating pain between my lungs, I would have believed she was just a vision, a fantasy of mine from ten years ago.

I loosened my hands around my hair and cringed a little as pain shot through my head from pulling on my hair too tightly. I guess I should get back inside.

I inhaled deeply and turned around, bumping straight into Bella. She fell back and I reached forward to grab her wrist to keep her from falling. I gasped and felt my heart beat erratically in my throat when jolts of electricity shocked the hell out of me, running through my veins and electrocuted the hell out of my heart. Her touch still had the power to scorch my skin.

She pulled her arm out of my grasp and hugged her torso with both arms, looking everywhere except at me.

I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was something up with her…she was way too jittery and the fear in her eyes was just wrong.

"Bella-"

"I have to go, I'm sorry," she interrupted me, but I grabbed her wrist and clenched my jaw at the currents flowing off her into me.

"I want to talk to you," I hissed.

"I can't, please." She shook her head and looked to the ground. "I thought I was never going to see you again." She sounded afraid.

"What the fuck had I done for you to change overnight and leave me?" I yelled, fury building from the pit of my stomach and raging through my insides straight to my heart. My breathing was hard and erratic as some of the emotions I've held in for so long, came lashing out. I guess that question has bothered me for ten years.

"Ten years, and you want to know this now?" She shook her head. "You didn't do anything…that's just it," she whispered. "Besides, by the headlines of your life; getting married and all, I did the right thing. I never was the right woman for you." She emphasized married. My heart stopped completely when I saw the hurt in her eyes.

"Bella-"

"I have to go," she said again and sounded desperate.

"Why are you so afraid?" I asked. Her face paled and her eyes widened before she looked away from me.

"I'm not afraid." Her voice disappeared at the last word.

"You always were a terrible liar," I lashed out, "you forget, I've known you since we were six-"

"Yeah." She slowly raised her head. "But you also forget you haven't seen me in ten years and people change," she spat.

"That may be..." I grinned "...but you're still a terrible liar."

"I'm so glad you find this amusing," she sighed as if I bored her.

"You're right, I'm sorry." I pinched the bridge of my nose, "I'm just confused as to why there is so much fear in your eyes when you are around me? What the fuck have I done to you?" I yelled.

She held the palms of her hands up towards me, "I don't have to answer that. I don't owe you anything."

"No, that's where you are wrong," I interrupted her. "You threw our love away because I wouldn't marry you-"

"Love?" she snorted, "You don't know what the fucking word means," she lashed out.

"I…I lo-"

"Don't even finish that sentence," she interrupted me. "I don't want to be here with you and I don't want to see you."

I shrugged.

"I'll never understand what happened."

"And that's why you lost me," she explained, "Look, I'm really happy your band is such a huge success and I'm happy you found real love and dropped your stupid fucking rule about not ever getting married." She pulled her face into a tight scowl. "But I have to go. It's been ten years, maybe you should forget about me and go on with your life. Besides, that's what you wanted anyways."

I looked at her, really looked at her and my fingers loosened around her wrist. Her hand went around her own wrist, rubbing gently. I swallowed hard while looking at this unfamiliar, yet familiar, woman. So much pain and secrecy hid in her gorgeous brown pools. It hurt just to look at her. The pain and suffering that was radiating off her, was shooting me straight in the center of my heart and I couldn't help but feel my own sorrows and pain. It was honestly killing me.

I clenched my jaw and tucked my hands in my coat. I never should've followed her out here. It was so clear that she still wanted nothing to do with me and I should have just left her alone. I did it ten years ago and I should do it now….

"I'm sorry I bothered you," I said proudly and pushed past her.

"Edward," she whispered and I froze in my steps without turning around.

"What?" I spat, closing my eyes as the wound inside my chest just opened again.

"How long will you be in Seattle?" she asked.

"I'm flying back on Monday morning, why?"

"Can we get together Sunday? I'll be over the shock off seeing you and there's something I need to discuss with you," she whispered and again, I noticed the fear in her voice. What puzzled me was that a moment ago, she wanted nothing to do with me, but now she wanted to see me? I turned around to face her and my heart almost crumbled at the sight of her excruciating face.

"Where and what time?" I sighed.

She named a place and gave me a time before she ran off.

As I walked back to the entrance of the club, I wondered what it was she wanted to discuss. This was going to freak me out…how would I get through the weekend with this weighing on my heart?

So say goodnight

This broken skylight

Is not enough to make me cry

The sun will fade like empty promises your heart made,

Promises you could never keep

But I will be OK

It's not that deep

(Broken Skyline – CrashCarBurn)

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