Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Lyrics in this chapter belong to:

Priceless – Mayday Parade

Smashed – Suicide Silence

No heroes allowed – Mayday Parade

I'd like to thank the two beta's who rewrote en corrected my errors in this chapter: angelnlove52 and Browneyedgirl825!Thank you guys for taking the time to rewrite this for me. I appreciate it and could not have done this without you.

OoOoOo

Chapter Eight – Tristan

EPOV

Breakdown, all on me

I don't wanna be selfish

But would it kill you to be a little more precise

And more polite when you speak

Exhaustion was not even the correct word for how I was feeling. I hadn't slept in two days as Bella controlled every thought, every dream, every memory…I couldn't help but wonder how different things could have turned out, had I not been so fucking selfish, ten years ago. I could have spared myself – and Bella – so much heartache.

Then there was Tristan who had been on my mind constantly, wondering if he wanted to meet me and if he would like me. I wondered if I'd have the chance to be a real father to him…a dad.

I swallowed at the thought. I didn't know shit about being a father, let alone a dad, and to say that I was scared shitless, was a big fucking understatement. I had no idea how to handle this situation, but I knew I wanted to meet my son and have the chance to get to know him.

I had a lot of time to think over the weekend. If ever there was a time I regretted letting Bella walk away from me, it was now. And it wasn't just because of my son, but because I had been a miserable fuck without her. I loved her, and I should have walked away from my band. I should have chosen her….

"Edward," her voice brought me out of my reverie.

I hadn't even heard the door open. My eyes zoned in on the beautiful woman who was standing in front of me in tight, skinny jeans and a midnight blue sweater. She looked as beautiful as ever.

"Urm…yeah, sorry." I shook my head a little, pinching the bridge of my nose. Bella crossed her arms over her chest and pierced her lips.

"Have you calmed down?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered flatly.

"Are you sure about that?" she asked again. "Because I'll throw your ass out if you so much as raise your fucking voice today," she threatened.

"Bella, I swear to you, I'm calm," I said calmly.

I had the entire weekend to calm down. I know I was a complete dick the other night; I should have waited before I rushed over to Bella's apartment. Even though I was still mad as hell, I was in control of my emotions, and I just wanted to sort through our shit so I could meet my son.

Bella took a step to the side, and I entered her small apartment. I looked around the place again as I followed her to the living room. Everything in the apartment was old and ragged. My heart filled with sorrow, realizing how she must've suffered through life because of me. She cared for my son without the proper support…I let her walk away from me, knowing she had no high school diploma, no degree, nothing.

"Would you like something to drink?" she asked politely, yet stiffly. It was clear Bella was only tolerating me because she had to.

"No, thank you."

"Right, let's get this over and done with then." She brought her hands together before she plunged down on the nearest chair. I followed her lead and took a seat on the couch closest to me.

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes, staring at each other. I now had the time to look at Bella, really look at her, and take everything about her in. She was as beautiful as ever; except for the faint crinkles in the corners of her eyes, she hadn't changed one bit. Her eyes were a bit dull, reminding me of the day she begged me to choose her. I wondered if her eyes ever lost the grayness from that morning. My eyes roamed over the contours of her face, and my heart flopped at the pain displayed there. I did that to her. I destroyed her life, and broke her heart completely.

She cleared her throat before her left hand came up and raked her fingers through her thick, brown locks. My eyes caught the shining diamond on her ring finger, and I almost chocked on the excessive saliva in my mouth.

"You're engaged?" The words flowed from my mouth on their own accord. I wished I could've grabbed the words and plunged them back in, but this was reality and as soon as the staggered words left my mouth, her eyes widened. A million questions danced behind her lids before realization sunk in. She brought her hand down and looked at the ring. Her right hand crossed her left and her fingers started playing nervously with the ring, turning it around and around.

"Is that why you are here? To ask about my personal life?" she asked. Her eyes told me she refused to answer any of my questions. I sighed disappointed at the prospect.

I wanted to push her into answering my question; as it was a simple question with a simple answer - either yes or no – but Bella's demeanor warned me to back the fuck off. So, instead I asked, "When can I meet my son, Bella?"

She held her forefinger up. "First things first," she said. "Are you going to act like a jerk in front of him?" she asked. I narrowed my eyes at her, anger threatening to explode.

"Look, I know I was an asshole the other night-"

"Pfft," she murmured.

"I'm sorry about the other night; I should have calmed down before I came over. Everything was just a bit much," I confessed.

"I don't give a shit what happened the other night, as long as you control yourself in front of Tristan. He is nine years old, and I don't want him to see you in that kind of mood."

"Bella, I'm really trying here," I said through clenched teeth.

"You should try harder," she spat.

"I'm sorry about the other night," I apologized again. "But I'm not going to let you hold it against me forever. Fuck sakes, Bella, I made a mistake…okay a few mistakes," I corrected when she rolled her eyes. "Can we get past it, already?"

"As long as you control yourself from now on, we'll have no problems," she said through pierced lips. She sighed, "When did you want to see Tristan?"

"As soon as possible," I said with excitement. "If that's all right?" I added quickly, looking straight into her eyes.

We stared at each other for what seemed like forever. I had a hard time keeping up with every emotion that filled her beautiful eyes; doubt, wariness, sadness, regret, distrust, and bitterness. I understood every emotion; I understood how she could feel like that about me. I had hurt her so much when I let her walk away from me. I saw what I did to her and it killed me. I knew in my heart I would never forgive myself for what I'd done to Bella.

She nodded before she quickly looked away; the atmosphere in the room was thick.

"Bella," I said softly, yet urgently. "Can we talk first?"

"I don't think that's such a good idea." She shook her head slightly. "The other night proved that we can't talk."

"I've been trying to see this from your side, Bella," I said, ignoring her refusal to talk. I had tried to see this from her side; I'd been playing it over and over inside my head, trying to justify her actions. Even though I could almost understand why she wouldn't tell me about my son, it still didn't make it right. But, like I said, almost!

"Edward-"

"Let me finish." I held my hand up to keep her from stopping what I wanted to say. "When Emmett told me I had a son…fuck-" I jammed my fingers into my hair and bit down on my lip, tasting the blood from the force I used to bite. "-I was floored, Bella. I didn't believe him at first, because in my heart I couldn't believe that you would do that to me."

I looked directly into her eyes; eyes filled with guilt and sadness. I looked away from her and stared at the floor, gathering my thoughts and words before I spoke again. I did not want to fight with her, not again, so I went through everything I wanted to say, in my head.

"I know I fucked up ten years ago…believe me, I know," I said slowly, still looking at the floor. I shook my head to get rid of the memories that appeared before me from that morning. "I've made mistakes, Bella. Mistakes that I fucking regret now more than ever." I balled my fists on my knees as I met her eyes from across the room. For the first time in so long, I felt the burn of tears as they started pricking my eyes. "But I never deserved this."

I closed my eyes for a second. I inhaled deeply, trying to stay calm. "Every time I think of what I've missed…fuck, I get so angry." I shook my head sideways, pinching the bridge of my nose before I looked straight into her eyes. "Did you never think, just once, that I might want to be part of his life…that I might want the chance to be his dad?" I almost choked out.

"You chose your band, Edward, remember? How could I have gone back to you and told you I was pregnant when you made it perfectly clear that you would never leave your band?" She shook her head slowly, playing with her fingers. My eyes caught the ring on her finger again. I didn't know why, but it felt like my heart was ripped to shreds every time I saw that ring. "I couldn't bear the thought of going back to tell you I was pregnant, just to be tossed to the side again," her voice trembled.

"Bella, do you remember that I begged you to stay so we could talk? Do you remember that?" I asked with urgency.

My heart ached, remembering that morning when I realized something wasn't right with Bella. I remember it as if it was yesterday, and not ten years ago. I knew she wanted to leave, that was why I begged her to stay and wait for me. None of this would've happened if she'd just waited…Pfft, what was I thinking; none of this would've happened if I wasn't a dickhead, and chose Bella instead of my band.

"It wouldn't have mattered," she smiled sadly. "You would've still picked the stupid band," she stated.

My mind raced back to when I went and bought that ring – a ring I still had with me wherever I went – to ask her to marry me. It would have mattered, I said to myself. Why couldn't I tell her that? Why couldn't I confess that I've bought the ring?

"I still would have wanted to be a part of my son's life," I whispered in defeat. Her eyes burned into mine; her eyes anxiously waiting for me to elaborate on my sentence, but I only turned my face away from her, afraid she might see the bitterness that suddenly filled my heart, which sure as hell must've shown in my eyes.

"Edward, I'm-"

"I have a son whom I know nothing about, Bella. I don't know what he likes to do, what his favorite color is, what gets him upset, what he looks like-" I swallowed hard "-I don't even have an idea when his fucking birthday is…what the fuck I was doing the moment he was born…the moment I became a father." I looked back at Bella accusingly, anger flowed through my veins. "Think of all the things you've enjoyed with him, Bella, every little thing," I said slowly, "and that's what you've robbed me of."

I saw the expression on her face as my words sunk in. Her eyes widened, and she nibbled on her bottom lip. She looked terrified of what I just revealed to her. For a moment, a second, she looked extremely heartbroken before she raised her chin an inch, and bitterness crept back into her eyes.

The anger I felt, morphed into sadness when I thought about everything I missed out on: his birth, his first smile, his first steps…there was so much I missed, and as the reality of it all sank in, my heart crushed inside my chest. Ten years of things I could never get back. I wouldn't get a do-over. Never!

Let's take our fucking lives back.

Life living through an hourglass,

the sand is falling and there's not much left.

It's like living in a photograph, witness the rubble from the past.

And how it's so full of memories,

now don't you wish you could turn that fucker over?

I want my life back, every grain of sand, I'll take it back!

"I just don't understand why you didn't tell me?" I sighed sadly.

"It's simple," she said without emotion. "I wanted so much more for Tristan."

My head snapped up as I met her cold, hard eyes; mine sure as hell filled with anger as I felt the fuel spread through my veins all the way to my heart, and suddenly exploded into a rage of fire. My heart pounded in anger, my nostrils flared and my eyes opened only an inch as I stared at her through narrowed eyes. My hands balled into fists as I clenched my jaw.

"I could have given him the best in life-"

"I'm not talking about material things, Edward!" she yelled in anger. I've never seen Bella this mad. "I wanted more for him than just being on another fucking magazine-cover, or the next front page of the newspaper," she fumed on. "Or how about the fact he never would have seen you, since you weren't around that much."

"So you thought you'd just deprive him of a father," I fumed with my own anger.

"Oh, please," she groaned in frustration. "Would you just get the fuck on with it…we aren't getting anywhere if we keep ending up in the past, besides, this isn't about you and me. It's about Tristan."

We stared at each other for what seemed like forever before I cleared my throat, and looked to the floor.

"That's why I'm here, Bella. I'm not going anywhere. I meant what I said, I want to be a part of Tristan's life."

"Okay then." She placed her hands flat on her lap. "Because Tristan really wants to meet you-"

"Really?" I asked shocked. Here I was, worried my son might not want to meet me, and to hear out of Bella's mouth that my son wanted to meet me, made my heart beat faster.

She nodded, biting her bottom lip. "Yes, really."

"When?" I asked, "When can I meet him, Bella?"

"Well, I guess today is as good as any other," she sighed.

I swallowed hard. Today! I was going to meet him today…I was suddenly overwhelmed by the mere thought of seeing him, talking to him, touching him….

"Are you sure you don't want something to drink?" she asked again. I guessed she wanted to give me some time alone. Maybe she needed to be alone as well….

I sighed with a nod. "Just a glass of water, thanks," I said to Bella as she stood up and made her way to the kitchen.

I got up from the couch as something in the far end of the living room caught my attention. I walked to the small display unit and a gasp escaped my lips. I reached out for the photo frame that held a picture of a little boy holding a baby. Looking closer at the picture, I trailed my finger over the little boy, knowing he was my son. He was the spitting image of me. It was as if I held a photo of myself in front of me. I was awestruck at his beauty. My heart was beating so fast that I had trouble breathing.

Bella cleared her throat behind me, and I raised my head without looking at her.

"He was four-years-old in that photo," her voice spoke softly.

"He's beautiful," I croaked. "An absolute vision, Bella."

I returned my gaze back to the picture of my son; moving my attention to the baby he was holding. I frowned.

"Who is the baby?" I asked.

"Emmett didn't tell you?" She sounded surprised, and I slowly turned around to face her. Her complexion was paler than before, but that wasn't what caught my attention. Bella had removed her sweater and was wearing a tank top revealing purple and blue bruises on her forearms. I gasped as I realized that it must have been my work….

"Bella, fuck!" I yelled. "I'm so sorry about that," I said remorsefully as I stepped closer to her. "I was blinded by anger." I shook my head. "That didn't give me the right to do this to you…I'm so sorry, Bella." I exhaled sharply, my eyes darting from her arms to her eyes. "I knew I gripped you too tightly…I'm really sorry."

"Apology accepted," she said. Her eyes were menacing when she looked at me. "I can understand you were angry, but don't ever touch me again, Edward." She smiled in an unfriendly manner, which told me that she wouldn't tolerate my shit again. I sighed. It tore my heart out to know I left markings on her…I was such a hateful bastard.

"You have my word, I'll never do that again," I said.

She handed me the glass of water I asked for before we took our seats again. I was still holding the frame of my son, and I couldn't help but stare at him some more.

"The baby in that photo is my daughter," she explained. My head snapped up to meet her eyes.

"W-w-what?" I stuttered.

She nodded once before wringing her fingers again, and looked to the floor. "She's five-years-old. Her name is Abbey," she continued to explain.

Wow, Bella had a daughter. I was suddenly interested in every single detail of her life. Where had she gone when she left me? What happened after she had Tristan? Where was Abbey's father, or was he Bella's fiancé? My head was spinning with all the questions bouncing up and down inside it.

"Did you get married?" I asked the first question that popped up.

Her eyes met mine from across the room, and I swallowed hard. So much torment and pain swam in her eyes before she just shook her head. "No, I never got married," she whispered softly.

"But you're engaged now," I brought the subject up again, hoping that she would tell me.

"Yes, I'm engaged now," she answered. Her words hung in the air between us as we stared at each other. My heart crushed at her words. "Just like you," her eyes pierced mine.

"Yeah, just like me," I gulped.

BPOV

Edward kept looking down at the photo in his hands, and my heart crumbled as his finger kept trailing down Tristan's face. His eyes were moist when he looked back up at me.

"I've missed so much," he whispered in regret. I could tell he was just being honest and wasn't trying to make me feel guilty again. He was speaking his mind out loud, and I could see so much regret in his eyes.

"I don't know what to say," I whispered honestly.

Edward smiled crookedly – the way he used to – and my heart almost sprinted out of my chest. Fuck, I had no idea how to be in the same room with Edward Cullen and not feel anything for him.

"You don't have to say anything, Bella," he whispered in his velvety voice. He was so much calmer than the other night; it was as if there was a completely different person sitting in front of me. I could also see a small change in his hard eyes, and I wondered what happened for him to change – even if it was by a tiny bit – it was a change, a beginning.

"How did you want to do this?" he asked, bringing me out of my reverie.

"Urm," I shook my head a little, raking my fingers through my hair. "Maybe I should have a moment with him alone, just to prepare him for your meeting," I suggested.

He nodded, "I think that will be best."

"Why don't you come back at around five?"

"I can do that," he rubbed his forehead before his hand automatically reached up and jammed his fingers into his hair. Something's do change, but something's stay the same. My eyes widened when the sleeve of his shirt raised an inch, revealing a tattoo on the inside of his wrist. I gulped.

"You, ur, you have a tattoo?" I asked completely flabbergasted.

He looked at me in question, and I pointed to his wrist. He looked at his revealing wrist and chuckled.

"Yeah," he scratched his head before he pulled on his sleeve to cover his wrist.

"I thought you never wanted tattoos."

"I guess I changed my mind." He smiled.

He didn't say anything else, and I wondered if he had more than one tattoo. I wondered why he changed his mind about the whole tattoo-thing. I found myself curiously wondering what the tattoo said, but I didn't want to pry, or seem interested.

He chuckled, and I had to admit it sounded wonderful to hear that sound escape his lips. Fuck, it sounded extremely good. My lips curled into a smile on their own accord.

"It says: Live life hard," he explained while looking at the tattoo on his wrist, gently touching the words. I kind of wondered why he chose those words.

"How-"

"I saw the curiosity in your eyes, Bella-" he laughed "-you wanted to know what it said."

I smiled. "Yeah, I did," I said honestly. "So, when did you get the tattoo?"

"Urm…about nine years ago," he said nervously. I had a feeling it wasn't something he wanted to elucidate on.

"So," I sighed, "I guess I'll see you at five then." I kind of dismissed him with that sentence. I didn't want him to be here when Rose brought my kids home.

"When are we going to talk about what happened?" he was serious again; all the signs of his laughter were gone.

"What do you mean 'what happened'?" I asked dumbly.

"About the past," he answered with a frown.

I looked at the floor, clearing my throat. "I thought you didn't give a fuck about that."

"I said a lot of things that I didn't mean, Bella."

"Edward," I said slowly, "can we not do this now? I mean, I don't want to have this conversation with Tristan coming home in a few minutes. If you really want to talk about it, we can make another appointment."

"I can understand you not wanting to talk about it before Tristan comes home, but can you understand that I really need to talk about it, and just get it out of the way," he said. "I mean, we need to get past it if we're going to be comfortable with each other around Tristan."

"I understand, Edward," I said, because I could understand where he was coming from. We couldn't let our past come up whenever we were in each other's presence, especially not in front of Tristan. We needed to work our shit out.

"Can we do it before the weekend?" he asked, "I have to be back in LA by this weekend…urm…press conference," he explained without me asking him.

There was a time when I would have freaked out over this. There was a time I would have thought his band and shit was more important than his son.

I sighed.

Not anymore, though. If ever there was a time I understood his lifestyle, it was now.

I'd been a star for two months and already had no time to myself. It had been one press conference after another, photo-shoots, recordings, and live shows. I could also understand that sometimes, you couldn't get out of these things, even if you wanted to.

"I understand," I said and he cocked an eyebrow, telling me he had a hard time believing I could understand his situation. I refused to explain because we would end up fighting again, and I had no energy to get into anything with Edward now. I had to prepare my son for meeting Edward later.

"Can we meet somewhere for breakfast?" he asked.

I nodded, "Sure, just name the time and place."

"Can I call you?" he asked unsurely. I swallowed hard. He took his phone out of his pocket and started typing with his fingers over the pad before he looked at me for my number. I said my number out loud, and watched him type it into his phone. My phone beeped, telling me I had a message, and I looked at Edward.

"I've send my number to your phone." he explained quickly before he rose to his feet. "I better go," he added.

"I'll see you at five, then?" I said.

"I'll be here," he said and started to make his way to the door. "Thank you for this, Bella," he whispered at the door. His eyes were filled with gratitude and it somehow filled them with lightness, as if a heavy burden was lifted. I could only nod because I was afraid my voice would have trembled.

"Bella." His hand froze on the doorknob. "There are a lot of things I should have done differently, things that I will regret for the rest of my life," he said sadly, touching my heart with every word of regret. "I was a pussy ten years ago, but I've grown, and I'll never give up on what I want, ever again. If there's one thing I've learned in the past ten years, it's determination," he said urgently.

We said our goodbyes and after he left, I thought back on our conversation. Edward was a lot calmer than the other night, which I was thankful for. The Edward from the other night scared the hell out of me. There were a lot of changes in him as well, not only since the other night, but from ten years ago. I mean, he had a tattoo – something he loathed ten years ago.

oOoOoOo

Since Edward left earlier, it had been a struggle not to get bogged down by memories of the past. He said we needed to talk about the past, but all I remember about the past was pain and misery…rejection. Things I've buried very deep, refusing to dig it back up. The past meant digging those exact things up again…it meant heart-wrenching pain.

In my head, I've gone over his parting words again and again, 'There are a lot of things I should have done differently, things that I will regret for the rest of my life'. Each time it brought different connotations. What would he have done differently? Where did his regret lie? And then there was the part of him not being a pussy anymore – I had always believed he was a coward, but I never realized he thought the same thing.

Despite everything that happened between Edward and me, the time we spent together would always remain the happiest time of my life – apart from Tristan, of course. When I saw Edward again, after so long, it reminded me just how fucking hard I had to fight to get over him.

Only now, I wasn't sure I ever had gotten over him…or if I ever would.

I was glad that we kind of shared a moment after the revealing of his tattoo. It meant there was a way to be civilized to one another. It meant that if we really wanted, we could be friends in front of Tristan. Maybe Edward was right, maybe we needed to talk about what happened in the past…maybe it was the only way to move forward.

"Where is my black shirt?" I heard my son yelling in his room. I frowned. Tristan was usually the calm one; why was he yelling.

"Tris," I said calmly as I entered his room. He was franticly throwing around stuff, desperately looking for something. His entire demeanor resembled stress, nervousness and worry.

"I can't find my black shirt," he said again, refusing to look at me.

"Tris," I said again with more urgency this time. I reached for his hand and clamped it between mine, bringing him to a halt. He bowed his head, refusing to meet my eyes, so I crouched down and met his eyes; they were filled with thick tears. "Oh, baby," I gasped. I pulled him into my arms and held him tightly to my chest.

"What if I changed my mind? What if I don't want to meet him?" His voice trembled.

"Then I'll call him right now, and call everything off," I said with determination. I knew it was only stress talking…I could understand his nervousness, and if he wasn't ready to meet Edward today, I would call Edward and explain everything.

Tristan slowly pulled away from me and looked up into my eyes. Tears were swimming in his eyes, causing the green of his eyes to show a dull grey. My heart crushed seeing my son in this state.

"Won't he be mad?" he asked. I cupped his cheek and smiled at him.

"He'll be disappointed, but not mad. And I'm pretty sure Edward will understand, baby," I answered truthfully. I didn't tell him that Edward would probably believe I had something to do with Tristan's refusal to meet him…I would worry about that later.

"I'm scared, mom," he finally sighed.

I pulled him to his bed, and we took a seat on the edge.

"What are you afraid of?" I asked.

"I don't know how to handle the situation, and how to act around him?"

"Tristan," I sighed with a smile. "You don't have to handle anything, just go with the flow. Follow Edward's lead," I encouraged, "and just be yourself around him. That's the person Edward will want to know, the real Tristan."

"Will you be here?" he asked. "The whole time," he quickly added.

I chuckled, ruffling his hair before I placed a kiss on his head.

"I promise I won't leave you alone," I promised. "Unless you give me the idea you are fine and want some time alone with him," I said.

"Okay," he smiled. He wiped his eyes quickly before he jumped off of the bed. "Oh," he suddenly said, "Mom, don't call me baby in front of him," he frowned.

I burst out laughing and annoyance flashed in his eyes as he glanced back at me. I shook my head a little and held my hands up in a conciliatory gesture, and suppressed my smile.

"I won't." I still held my hands up. "I promise."

"Thanks, Mom." He smiled with confidence. I knew my son was ready to meet his father, to get to know the other half of his DNA.

"Are you going to be alright now?" I asked and he nodded.

I left Tristan in his room and went to the kitchen where Rose was busy preparing grilled cheese sandwiches. I sighed loudly, blowing out a long breath. I could imagine how my son felt because I felt it too. Ever since I ran into Edward, I had trouble sleeping and focusing. I hardly ate….

"How are you holding up?" she asked while cutting through the sandwiches.

"I'll be fine, it's Tristan I'm worried about," I said in exhaustion.

"He'll be fine, he's a strong boy," she comforted.

"Mommy," Abbey yelled when she came running into the kitchen. She ran straight into my legs and wrapped her tiny arms around both legs.

I smiled.

How could someone be sad for long with such beautiful children in their lives? I had no time to be sad for long because either Tristan or Abbey would need my attention, and soon my thoughts would be consumed with them. My thoughts had no time to linger on Edward too long, that's probably why I thought I was over him….

I bent down and picked Abbey up, placing her on the countertop.

"Who is Edward?" she asked.

Tristan wanted to keep Edward a secret from his sister because he felt sorry for her. He felt it would hurt her if he had a dad and she didn't. Of course, I explained to Tristan that he couldn't keep it a secret from her forever.

"Do you remember when we had that talk about your dad?" I asked and she nodded. She pushed her forefinger into her hair and started curling it, a habit she started ever since she started growing her hair out. "And do you remember how I explained to you that you and Tristan do not have the same daddies?" I asked. I knew it was hard to understand, fuck, it was hard to explain, but it seemed that Abbey understood. I hoped so.

She bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes; something she did whenever she was thinking really hard – she once explained to Rose and me.

"I remember, but I don't really understand," she pouted. "How come we don't have the same daddy?" she asked.

"Well, things didn't work out between Tristan's daddy and me, so we separated. Do you understand that?" I asked and she nodded. "I met your daddy after I left Tristan's daddy, that's why you don't have the same daddies," I explained. Fuck, I had high hopes for her to understand because as I explained it to her, it sounded all so confusing.

"And my daddy is dead," she said softly. I still had no regrets telling her that lie, so I nodded my head. "And this Edward, is it Tristan's daddy?" she asked.

"Yes, he is," I answered.

"Wow." She covered her forehead with her hand. "It's pretty hectic," she sighed, rolling her eyes. Rose and I started laughing as Rose took a stand next to me.

"And where did you learn that word?" Rose asked, still laughing.

Abbey crossed her arms over her chest and tried to wink at her – failing miserably – before she added, "It's my secret."

I laughed again, shaking my head. "Do you even know what the word means?" I asked.

She wrinkled her nose and placed her forefinger over her lips, "Urm…confusing," she said narrowing one of her eyes.

"My, oh my-" Rose chuckled "-aren't you the clever one."

"So, where did you hear the word?" I asked again.

"Alex uses it a lot, and I've heard Tristan use it as well," she explained.

Rose and I laughed but froze with widened eyes when the knock we'd been waiting for came. I raised my arm to look at the time on my wristwatch, and I gasped. It was past five already….

"Is that him?" Rose asked softly. I nodded as I left the kitchen.

My heart bounced uncontrollably against my chest as the door came closer.

When I opened the door, I found a very nervous looking Edward on the other side. His hand was already in his hair, fucking it up even more – I could tell he had it in a certain style, but was pointing in all kinds off directions from all the tugging. I shook my head with a smile.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hey." I moved out of the way, allowing him to enter my apartment.

While I followed Edward, I looked at his attire and noticed he wore a white Suicide Silence shirt along with a black jacket, dark skinny jeans and a pair of black sneakers. I smiled. Edward sure as hell wasn't the normal-everyday-type-of-dad every kid had. I think it would–in the near future–make him unique.

He chewed on his bottom lip and stood with both hands resting on his hips. I couldn't tell who was more nervous, Tristan or Edward. I couldn't tell them not to be nervous because I had no idea how either of them was feeling; I wasn't in their positions.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Urm…to be honest, no." He rubbed his forehead viciously before he started pacing the small living room. "I'm nervous as hell, Bella," he said.

"He really wants to meet you, Edward, and he is really excited about it. So just relax," I said and hoped it would calm him like it calmed Tristan. "Can I go tell him you are here, or do you want to wait?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I'm ready…I think," he gulped.

"I'll be right back," I smiled reassuringly before I left the living room.

Tristan's POV

I raked my fingers through my hair, for what seemed like the millionth time. It was a really bad, but cute habit, my mom used to say. I paced up and down in my room, surprised that there was still carpet left. I was a nervous wreck. I hadn't even been this nervous when I went to school for the first time. To be honest, this was the first time I've ever been this nervous.

I remember the first time I asked my mom about my dad. It had been a really bad day at school where I was supposed to tell the class about my father's career. I just figured that since there was no dad, I could just tell the class about my mom. We had a really mean kid in class, Demetri, and he had so much fun teasing me about the fact that I had no father.

I was devastated. I had no idea that it was weird to not have a dad, but Demetri made it pretty clear that day, that it was indeed weird not to have a dad.

That night, I asked my mom about my father, and she told me that he lived far away. To me it sounded like he was dead and she had no idea how to tell me. Plus, the hurt in her eyes was as clear as daylight. I promised myself that I would never speak about him again, seeing as it hurt my mom to talk about him.

But it started to bother me; I wanted to know about him and his life even though he was 'dead'. I wanted to know what he was like and what he looked like. I wanted to know what his birthdate was. Anything…Everything!

When my mom explained to me that he was alive and not dead…I kind of freaked out. It felt as if my life had been a lie….

For so long I had believed that he was dead and almost made peace with that fact. I couldn't even begin to describe the feelings inside my heart when I was told that he was alive. But then my mom told me why he stayed away…why I never met him. He had no idea that I even existed, and mom confessed that it was her fault.

I had to admit, I was angry at her. I was hurt that she kept the truth from me. I was hurt that she kept me away from my dad. But I had no idea what her life was like back then, and I wasn't going to judge her, or blame her for things I knew nothing about.

I just knew one thing: from the moment she told me that my father wasn't dead, I wanted to meet him. I had a weird urge inside my heart to see him, to meet my dad. And, of course mom promised to make it happen.

That was why I was pacing up and down in my room, I was about to meet my father. The man I've dreamt about since I could remember.

I froze in the middle of my room when there was a knock at my door; I knew it was my mom. I knew that he was here, and that I was ready to meet him.

The door squeaked open slowly, and I watched my mom's head pop around from the other side. If I wasn't so stressed out, I would have laughed at her. Man, I loved my mom….

"Are you ready?" she asked in her melodic voice. Her voice had the power to calm me instantly, well, sometimes at least.

"Yeah, I guess," I answered.

She held her hand out for me, and I took it. I may have complained about her calling me baby, but I was scared out of my mind right now, so I couldn't have cared less if I was still a little boy who needed his mom. I needed her right now, more than ever.

"Are you okay?" she asked before we left the room.

"I'm not sure," I said honestly.

"Do you want to know a secret?" she whispered as she crouched down to level with me.

"What?" I whispered back. I leaned in to hear what she wanted to say.

"He's even more nervous than you are."

I pulled back to look into her eyes before I said, "Really?"

"He's pacing up and down in the living room, pulling his hair out of his head and biting his lips raw," she chuckled.

"Wow." I widened my eyes while I nodded my head. "I was pacing up and down a few minutes ago, and I pulled my hair too," I admitted.

She opened her mouth to say something but closed it almost immediately.

I started laughing and pulled her by her hand. "Come on, Mom," I urged.

"I'm really proud of you," she whispered just before we entered the living room.

My eyes froze on the man that stood in the middle of the room. He was standing with his back toward me, and I took the time to admire him from the back. Not that I could see much from his back, but I could see that he was tall and that he had the same shade of bronze hair that I had, except mine was a bit darker. Plus, it was just as untamable as well.

My heart was out of control as I stood there for a few seconds, which felt like hours.

My mom cleared her throat, and he quickly turned around. His eyes met mine instantly and we stared at each other for a few minutes. Mom was right, I kind of looked like him. I had his eyes, his hair, his nose, even his chin. I blinked a couple of times, my hand automatically raised and went into my hair.

Mom pulled me forward and my feet dragged along. He crouched down as I came closer. I was nervous because I had no idea what he expected of me, how I was supposed to approach him; should I give him a hug, or a handshake? I still had no idea if I wanted to call him 'dad' or 'Edward'. What would make me comfortable?

My mind was still pondering on the thought when I was suddenly right in front of him. My heart thumped out of my chest when he smiled at me. I felt my lips curl into a smile before my hand shot out on its own accord – I guess I was going with the handshake then. He looked at my hand and then back at me before he took my hand in his.

"Tristan, I'd like you to meet Edward Cullen," Mom said.

Edward's hand tightened a bit around mine, but not in a hurtful manner.

"Hello, Tristan," he spoke for the first time. His voice was velvety but there was also a hoarse edge to it. He cleared his throat, squeezing my hand again.

"Hello, Edward." The name rolled off of my tongue and slipped out of my mouth without thinking about it. I guess it was going to be Edward for a while.

EPOV

"Hello, Edward," he said softly.

His voice sounded like music, filling this room with the sweetest of melodies. My heart fell when my name left his lips, but then again, what was I expecting? I couldn't have expected him to call me 'dad' now, could I?

He was an absolute vision. My heart fluttered in my chest while I still held his hand in mine. I've only ever felt a love this deep for Bella, but now Tristan was part of that love. A love so deep I would die for him.

Tristan pulled his hand from mine, and I could tell he was nervous and uncomfortable. I slowly got up and looked at Bella for help. I had no idea how to handle the situation…if only I knew what he liked, what his interests were.

"Hey, Tris, why don't you tell Edward about the music you like," she suggested.

"Oh man, how much time do you have?" he chuckled, and I sighed in relief. Bella had managed to break some of the ice that started to form after our introduction.

I chuckled loudly as he pulled me to the couch; warmness spread through my entire body again at his touch. I couldn't understand the power he already had over me.

Bella offered to make some hot chocolate and we greedily accepted. I think she wanted to give us some time alone because she looked at Tristan before he just nodded, and then she left the living room.

Tristan started telling me about his love for music. I almost fell on my back when he told me how much he loved my band's music.

"Mom has all your albums," he stated. "I don't think I was supposed to sneak them out and listen to them." He shrugged with a smile. I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

"How did you find the albums?" I asked curiously while Bella wasn't in the room. I had a feeling Tristan would answer every curious question I had about Bella. Things I was hungry to know the answers off.

"She hides them in her closet," he answered. "I heard her listen to it one night, and I liked it." He shrugged again. He looked so innocent. "She still has no idea that I know she has all of your albums." He pulled a funny face, and I laughed loudly. His eyes met mine and they pleaded silently as he realized what he just said.

I shook my head in laughter, "I won't tell a soul," I promised in between chuckles.

"Thanks," he sighed.

"So, what's your favorite song?" I asked curiously. We were both relaxed, no more signs of nervousness and awkwardness. We interacted easily, something I was grateful for.

He told me about the song his mom used to listen to at night, and I realized that it was a song that I wrote before I started dating Tanya.

Well now it's hard to see with all these flashing cameras in my face

But I love the way they play

Throwing shadows on the stage

I wonder where you are and what you think about this place

I can't help but miss the days

(No Heroes Allowed – Mayday Parade)

I wondered if Bella knew that I wrote that song for her. Why would she listen to it, almost every night?

Tristan told me that he wanted to learn how to play the piano and guitar. I was excited to know that Tristan inherited the same interests in music as me. Even though I wasn't a part of his life while he grew up, he had something of me…and I wasn't talking about his looks.

Tristan chattered non-stop, and I loved every minute of it. I was content in his presence. My son – even though I was Edward to him – illuminated so much love towards me that I felt how my hardened heart slowly cracked open with every word and every smile from him. The love - that clearly filled his eyes - shined through the small cracks, blinding the darkness inside my chest and caused the most overwhelming feeling I had ever felt. I had almost forgotten how it felt to completely love someone, and how it felt to be on the receiving side of that love. The last time I felt like this was ten years ago…with Bella.

"When is your birthday?" I asked him after I learned that he loved to read and listen to music.

"You missed it," he smiled. "It was the 20th of June."

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. Wait, what?

"You look shocked," he said a bit alarmed.

I shook my head and rubbed the back of my neck, "No, I guess I'm just surprised," I stuttered.

Last night I told Bella that I didn't even know what I was doing when Tristan was born. I knew now exactly what I was doing because it was my birthday; I was drunk of my ass and high as a kite from the heroine I used. I was a fucking mess when my son was born.

"Why?" he asked but Bella made her appearance with the hot chocolate that was promised to us long ago. She smiled as she handed our mugs, and we thanked her profusely. I immediately brought the mug to my lips and took a few sips…I remember how I always thought she made the best damn hot chocolate in this world. I moaned loudly as the hot liquid filled my mouth; it felt like it exploded in my mouth, filling it with the creamiest chocolaty taste ever.

"You still make the best hot chocolate in this world," I said out loud.

Bella blushed and it was still as beautiful as I remembered. It was the second time we shared a weird moment; the first being when she noticed my tattoo. I wanted to tell her about my tattoo but I just figured it wasn't the right time. I would tell her later about every tattoo on my body, if she wanted to know.

I noticed how she gaped at me, and I quickly looked away from her and shook my head a little. I shouldn't have let her go…how could I have been so selfish and so fucking stupid? How could I have thought I could live without her? It was evident I had no idea how to live without her…I had made a fuckup of my life.

Tristan excused himself to the bathroom, leaving Bella and me alone in the living room.

I immediately turned to Bella when Tristan disappeared around the corner. "The 20th of June? Why didn't you say anything this morning?" I asked softly.

"I don't know." She shrugged.

"We share the exact same birthday?"

"My actual due date was the thirteenth but I was overdue by a week," she explained. "I was forty one weeks pregnant when I went into labor."

"Wow." I shook my head. "But why didn't your doctor give you something…" I scratched my head. "I mean, I don't know shit about these things, but I'm pretty sure that there's something he could've done to help you."

She chuckled, "There was something he could've given me, but I wanted to do everything naturally."

"So...was everything okay?" I closed my eyes, feeling very embarrassed all of a sudden.

Bella burst out laughing, and I felt the heat rise to my cheeks.

"Yes, Edward, everything was fine. I'll tell you about it when we have a little more time."

"Are you laughing at me?" I asked.

"Nope." She popped the 'p'—just like she did when she was younger and happy.

"You always were a terrible liar, Bella," I smiled. I was grateful that Bella and I could somehow talk to each other without it ending up in an argument. It was a good sign for me.

"Edward, I don't want to be rude-" she swallowed "-but it's a school night, and Tristan needs to go to bed."

"Urm, sure. I didn't even realize the time," I chuckled, "I had so much fun with him-"

"You are welcome to come back tomorrow, if you like."

"Really?"

"Of course," she smiled, "Tristan is already attached."

I sighed in relief. "I was so stressed."

"I know."

"Can we meet somewhere for breakfast tomorrow?" I asked.

"NO!" I heard Tristan yell, "You can't leave now," he said urgently.

"Tristan, you have school in the morning," Bella intervened.

"Please, don't go," his voice trembled. My heart jumped into my throat, making it impossible to breathe. Tears started building in his eyes…I knew I would not be able to control myself if he started crying. It would break my heart.

"Tristan." Bella touched his arm, but he yanked it away from her. She sighed loudly, hurt evidently on her face.

"I'm coming back tomorrow, Tristan," I promised. He shook his head and closed his eyes. This hurt me because I could see the doubt in his eyes; he had a hard time believing I was actually coming back. He wanted to keep me here so he would believe I wasn't going anywhere.

I stood up from the couch and approached him slowly. Bella's hands were clamped together in front of her mouth, but I could see the hurt in her eyes. The situation was hard, and neither of us knew what to tell Tristan. I was sure Bella had doubts of her own.

"Tristan." I crouched down to meet his eyes. He refused to look at me, but I lifted his chin with my finger. "I promise you, I'll be back tomorrow," I said in definite.

"It's not enough," his chin wobbled. I acted on instincts when I scooped him up into my arms and held him to my chest. My eyes closed, and I inhaled his scent. My heart pounded hard when his arms went around my neck and squeezed tightly.

Bella made little sniffling noises before she cleared her throat, "Will you like it if Edward takes you to school tomorrow?" she asked.

Mine and Tristan's heads snapped up at the same time.

"Will you?" he asked me.

"I would love that," I gulped.

Tristan seemed happy with that arrangement.

"I'll see you in the morning, okay?" I said with Tristan still in my arms.

"Okay," he whispered. I let him out of my arms and turned to Bella.

"Thank you for today, Bella."

"We'll see you tomorrow morning," she answered with a nod.

"Hey, Edward?" Tristan pulled on my hand.

I turned back to him. "Yeah?"

"It was so cool meeting you." He smiled, and I chuckled. "I had a really good time," he added.

"I loved every second of it." I smiled. "I'll see you in the morning."

After I said goodbye to Bella and Tristan, I left the apartment. My heart was empty as soon as I set foot outside the door. Everything I cared about was on the other side of the door…everything I wanted.

I made a promise to myself that I would fight to get Bella back into my life. I would do anything to make her love me again….

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