Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Lyrics in this chapter belong to:

A breath in the eyes of eternity – As I lay dying

When the world fades – As I lay dying

I am stone – Demon Hunter

Those nights - Skillet

I'd like to thank the two beta's who rewrote en corrected my errors in this chapter: angelnlove52 and Browneyedgirl825!Thank you guys for taking the time to rewrite this for me. I appreciate it and could not have done this without you.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sadness I embrace

Left with empty promises

I look at myself and see the scars

That are brought to me by this life

(A breath in the eyes of eternity – As I lay dying)

Chapter Nine – Resolving some of the past

BPOV

"He promised that he would be here." Tristan complained, pacing the living room floor.

I sighed.

It felt like all I was doing nowadays was sighing.

Tristan had chattered non-stop about Edward since he left last night. It was all he was talking about, and I wondered if he even slept last night. He was so excited about seeing Edward this morning, I had a hard time putting him to bed.

I smiled as I recalled last night's encounters. Every time he laid down, and I was about to cover him with his blankets, he would jump up and tell me about something Edward said or did. It was evident he already loved his father.

"It's still early, Tris. Please go and eat your cereal before he comes," I asked for the second time. He gave me a look that said how-can-you-even-think-about-food-at-a-time-like-this, but I cocked one eyebrow, and pointed my finger toward the kitchen where his cereal awaited.

"Ah, man," he complained as he entered the kitchen. I couldn't help the smile that formed on my lips.

I decided to keep Abbey out of school today; she had a bit of a fever. It wasn't serious, but I refused to take any chances.

When the knock came that Tristan had waited for, he sprinted out of the kitchen toward the door. I shook my head and chuckled. I followed him to the door and made it just before he swung the door open, revealing a very happy looking Edward. The nervousness of yesterday was gone, and there were only signs of extreme contentment. His eyes had lost the gray color and were replaced with the green I remember – the same emerald green eyes that belonged to Tristan. Edward looked really good this morning, as if he became a changed man overnight. There were still signs of hardness on his beautiful face, but they were minimal. Had Tristan changed him that much?

"Dad," Tristan exhaled in relief. I gasped when I realized what Tristan called Edward. It was so out of the blue and so…unexpected. It caught Edward off guard as well. His eyes were wide for a moment before I noticed them getting all shiny. "You came," Tristan added before he leapt forward and jumped into his father's arms.

Edward was stunned for a moment, but then his arms circled around Tristan. Edward looked at me before he closed his eyes with a sigh of contentment, but not before I saw the shadow of hurt cross his eyes. He was hurt because of Tristan's doubts. I wanted to explain to him that it would be normal for Tristan to have doubts, but I had a feeling Edward already knew this.

"Of course I came," he whispered softly. "I made a promise to you, Tristan," Edward said with urgency. Tristan wiggled out of his arms and pulled him into the apartment.

"Morning, Bella," Edward smiled.

"Morning."

"I'll get my bag," Tristan said. He disappeared, leaving Edward and me alone for a few minutes.

"That was…urm-" Edward rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Unexpected," I said stiffly.

I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy toward Edward. My son already worshiped the ground he walked on…even though there was still a tiny bit of doubt inside his heart.

"You don't like him calling me 'dad'?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow.

I shook my head. "No, that's not it. I just wasn't expecting it to be so soon," I confessed.

"I understand." He pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. I could tell he had a really hard time keeping a snide comment to himself.

I sighed, again. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that."

"It's fine, Bella, really," he said with his hands resting on his hips. He wore a black hoodie and ruined jeans with black sneakers.

"I'll tell Rose that we're leaving," I said.

"We're still going for breakfast, right?" he asked.

"Rose has to be at work in two hours, will that be okay?" I asked and he nodded.

"So, Tristan seems excited about school?" he said in a lighter mood.

I knew he felt hurt about Tristan's doubt, and I wasn't helping in any way. I didn't know why but my distrust of Edward prevented me from being truly happy to see Tristan so happy and carefree. It would take one disappointment to completely break my son. I couldn't help but worry it would be so easy for Edward to truly hurt him, even if he didn't mean to.

"I think it has something to do with you being here," I grinned.

"Thank you, Bella, for letting me do this," he said with a sad smile.

I shrugged. "It's what Tristan wants, Edward," I admitted.

"But not what you want?" he questioned me. His eyes darkened slightly as his smile faded.

I shook my head slightly, biting my bottom lip. "I didn't say that…we'll talk about this later," I quickly said when I heard my son's footsteps coming closer to us.

"Are you ready?" I asked Tristan when he came to a halt in between Edward and me. As if he could sense the tension between us, he looked from me to Edward and back at me again. His eyes were pleading with me. I smiled and ruffled his hair, trying to reassure him, with my eyes, that everything was fine.

I knew I was being harsh toward Edward, but I needed to hold something back, until I knew his intentions matched his actions.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Tristan couldn't contain his excitement when we got outside and learned that he would be riding to school in Edward's black Volvo S60. He explained it was only a rental, but Tristan was too excited to even care. I knew this car's feature's because it was a car that I've wanted, and I promised myself I would get one as soon as I finished my degree in English Lit and had a steady job.

Tristan climbed into the back while I slid into the passenger seat. When Edward climbed into the driver seat, I was struck again by how all-encompassing his presence seemed. His scent filled the entire car, and sitting in front hadn't made things easier. The closeness from the front of the car was electrifying with our elbows mere inches away from touching.

"What music were you listening to?" Tristan asked Edward.

Edward chuckled as he reached for the play button. The soft, yet melodic, piano notes filled the silence in the car. I turned my head toward Edward with a deep frown at the same time that Tristan burst out in laughter. Edward kept the smile plastered on his face, though, and I couldn't help but wonder why that was.

"Dad, no way," Tristan said in between a fit of giggles. I was still shocked at how fluently Tristan said 'dad', but to Tristan it came naturally. Even Edward wasn't fazed by the word. Edward looked into the rearview mirror, clearly enjoying Tristan's laughter.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked in mocked innocence.

"Please tell me that you were not listening to that," Tristan emphasized. He pulled his face in a disapproving manner just to get his point across.

"Why? What's wrong with this music?" Edward asked.

"It sucks," Tristan yelped and rolled his eyes as if it was to be obvious. I grinned at my son.

"It's good for the soul," Edward exclaimed. I couldn't help but shake my head a little. I felt a smile curve my lips. The way they interacted with each other amazed me. It was as if they've known each other forever, and not just since yesterday.

"I'm sorry," Tristan laughed again, holding the palms of his hands up. "This is too much, Dad."

Edward pushed another button on the player, and the guitar riffs of a band I used to love filled the car. I quickly looked to Edward's side before I looked the other way, staring out of my side of the window.

"Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about," my son said. Edward chuckled.

The music made the drive to school go by quickly. Edward parked the car and Tristan practically leaped out of the back door. He bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited for Edward and me to get out of the car. My heart was full with the sheer guilt I was feeling. This was probably one of the biggest moments in Tristan's life, and I deprived him of it years ago. He deserved to have both parents at his first day of school; yet, I was the only one who walked him to his class. I swallowed the sob that was about to escape away.

As Edward got out of the car Tristan jumped up and down in excitement. Edward had a look of pure contentment on his face as he took a stand on the other side of Tristan. Tristan took both our hands as he walked in between Edward and me. I couldn't help but notice the look of pride on my son's face. This was something he longed for, for so long, and now that it was actually happening, he was enjoying every single moment of it.

It took effort for me to keep my composure walking my son to the entrance with his father. I just felt as though I didn't fit – looking all family-like. Tristan had taken everything so easily, but then again, Tristan was Edward's flesh and blood, I wasn't. I was just the woman who gave birth to his son.

The only thing that made everything worthwhile was Tristan's emphatic smile as he waved to us before he disappeared through the school doors. And as soon as my son's body disappeared from my sight, I breathed out on a long, slow breath.

"Bella," Edward whispered hoarsely, "I know this is hard for you, but thank you so much." He smiled crookedly; the sadness evidently displayed in his eyes. "I appreciate you letting me share this."

"You're right, this is hard for me." I stared at him for a long moment before I added, "but I'll do anything for Tristan, and if you being a part of his life makes him happy, then I will be happy as well."

I looked up to watch Edward as I opened the car door. He kept staring back at the school gates. The love for Tristan showed in his eyes, and my heart softened a bit. It was as clear as daylight that he loved Tristan, and no matter what this man had done to me, I couldn't find it in my heart to even hate him anymore. I could never hate someone who loved my son.

"Where shall we go? "Edward asked.

"There's a little diner just around the corner from here," I suggested and he nodded.

The atmosphere between us was thick with anticipation during the drive, but neither of us broke the silence.

My heart hammered in my chest when we entered the small diner and took a seat at the nearest table. Edward looked disgusted at his surroundings, and I couldn't help but laugh snidely.

He frowned, "What?"

"Can you at least pretend that you like the place? Fuck, since when have you become such a fucking snob?" I hissed.

"I'm just not used to these kinds of places," he answered innocently.

"Whatever," I spat.

Both of us ordered coffee. We sat in total silence after the waitress left – whom eye-fucked Edward first.

"You've done an amazing job with him, Bella," he said suddenly. "He's just…amazing."

I stared at Edward for a long time. For a moment he was the old Edward…my Edward. I cleared my throat.

"Thank you, Edward," I croaked out. Pride filled my heart that he admitted that to me. "So, how involved do you want to be in Tristan's life?" I asked carefully.

Edward's eyes bored into mine. "As involved as any father would be."

"How do you want to do this with you living in LA and we live in Seattle?" I asked the obvious question.

He chewed on the inside of his mouth. "I haven't figured that part out yet, but I'm not letting him go, Bella."

"You should figure it out then," I said without any feeling.

Edward's jaw twitched as if he was gritting his teeth. I knew I pushed a lot of his buttons, and I knew it took a lot of patience to not throw me with insults, but I couldn't help myself. I was still hurt…the wound was still raw.

"I don't want to be just some post script in his life," he gritted out.

"How are you going to pull that off with the band?" I asked, remembering how busy his life was ten years ago. And ten years ago his band wasn't even that famous yet. They were almost number one on the map today, and I remember reading about a three month tour they've got planned. They were also launching a new album.

The waitress appeared with our coffee, and I huffed in irritation when she placed the cups on the table with her back facing me. I wanted to point out that she was being rude, but I didn't want it to seem like I was jealous or something. So, I kept my mouth shut.

Edward poured milk into his coffee before his eyes met mine over the rim of his mug. "Screw the band," he said before he took a sip.

My eyes widened momentarily. "What?" I almost choked on the liquid in my mouth.

He placed his mug back on the table. "I've made a lot of mistakes, Bella. I'm not making any more," he said seriously. "I won't lose my son, too." He kept his piercing eyes on me.

I shook my head in unbelief. He would leave his band for Tristan? Why couldn't he have had the same feelings ten years ago? Things would have been so much easier….

"What?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You're a bastard," I said coldly. "That's it…a fucking bastard," I said again.

"You just love throwing insults my way, don't you? I've been patient, Bella, and I've swallowed every fucking insult or snide comment coming from you," he hissed. "It's getting old now, and I won't stand for it any longer."

"I'm just…I don't know you, Edward. I'm trying to figure you out," I said, "I've already witnessed your fucking temper first-hand-"

"I've already apologized for that, Bella. Are you going to bring that up every time?" he interrupted me.

I looked at him and sighed. "I just need to know that I can trust you around Tristan."

"You can trust me, Bella," he said in determination.

I wish it was that simple, but this man broke my heart. There was a time that I had trusted him with my life, but he let me down. He broke every bit of trust I had.

"I'd rather wait and let your actions prove that," I said with bitterness. "I trusted you ten years ago…"

"I know I let you down. I know I broke your heart, Bella," he admitted. "But I promise you, I won't let Tristan down, too."

"How can I believe you, Edward?" I asked incredulously. "You broke every promise you made to me." I was damn near tears. The past was coming up, and I knew we needed to talk about it; it was necessary to talk about it, but it fucking hurt so much.

He looked past me out the window. "I made snap decisions, Bella. Decisions that were-"

"Best for you," I accused, finishing his sentence for him.

"Yeah, I made shitty choices. And yeah, I let the best thing in my life go," he hissed, "I was just so afraid…I had this weird fear of marriage – something you knew, by the way."

"You didn't even care how I was coping with it all," I said sadly. "When I walked away from you that day, I promised myself that I'd never go back to you. I promised myself that I wouldn't even call you, no matter how much I missed you," I said, staring at the table. "And, fuck, there were days I wouldn't even get out of bed from missing you so damn much," I opened myself for a second. I looked back into his eyes and gasped. His eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

There was nothing about that time that could be more painful than the memory of lying in bed – day in and day out – crying out for him. In some ways, it was like he never existed. I couldn't see him, I couldn't talk to him - I had absolutely eradicated him from my existence. The unbearable pain in my chest was an excruciating reminder of those awful days….

Edward rubbed a hand down his face, stopping at his mouth. I watched as he gripped his lower lip between his thumb and forefinger and a storm of emotions played out in his eyes. "I called Charlie every day, Bella, and every day he would tell me to fuck off," he explained, his voice was barely audible.

My eyes widened at his confession, my heart started racing with what felt like a million beats per second. "Wait, what?"

He looked at me in confusion. "What, Bella?"

"You called Charlie? When?" I asked.

"Every day since you left," he answered. I looked deeply into his eyes and knew he was telling the truth.

"Charlie never said anything," I said exasperated, drifting off to those days where I barely lived. Why would he keep something like that from me? He knew how much I missed Edward; he knew how I cried myself to sleep….

"I shouldn't have said anything, I'm sorry," Edward apologized. He looked guilty now.

"Don't apologize, Edward. I had a right to know," I quickly said.

"I thought you knew…Charlie told me the last time I called that you didn't want anything to do with me," he shook his head, rubbing his hand down his face again. "I don't want to cause trouble between you and Charlie, Bella," he said.

"I had no idea of your calls, Edward," I said. He eyed me warily, as if he was looking for some untruth in my sentence, and after he found what he was looking for, he swallowed and looked at the table again.

"I guess Charlie wouldn't have told you that I actually came back for you," he smiled crookedly, but there was a hint of sadness in his smile as he looked back at me. My eyes widened again….

"No," I managed to croak out.

I bit my lip hard in an effort not to cry, but tears already stung my eyes and the vision of him sitting in front of me started to swim.

"I need to get out of here," I said quickly while I stood up, the chair scraped across the floor causing a few people to look up from their tables.

The traitorous tears flowed over the brims off my eyes and slowly rolled down my cheeks as I made my way to the exit of the diner. The rolling tears warmed my cold cheeks, but as soon as I pushed through the doors of the diner and exit to the outside, the wind blew the warmness away and it almost felt as if the tears froze on my cheeks.

You meant the world to me

All I have now is memories

Your love brought joy to my heart

You meant the world to me

Tears of sorrow stream from my broken soul

(When this world fades – As I lay dying)

"Bella," the velvet voice yelled my name but I walked faster to his car.

How could Charlie have done this to me? He knew I was pregnant…he knew how much I struggled without Edward.

"Bella," his voice whispered against my ear when I felt his hand on my shoulder. Calmness spread through my body at his touch – the way my body had always reacted when he touched me. I took a deep breath, relishing the feel of his hand on my shoulder, before I pulled my shoulder away from his hand.

"I'm sorry," I whispered hoarsely, "Can we finish our conversation in your car?" I asked.

I felt stupid for dropping my guard, and for losing it in front of Edward. I should be stronger; I was supposed to be stronger.

His revelations turned my heart upside down, and for the first time since I left Edward, I started having doubts about his feelings for me from ten years ago. He came back for me…he tried to call me.

I shook my head sideways as more tears filled my eyes.

"You don't have to apologize for anything," he said in a calm voice. He unlocked the car, and I got in without looking at him. I felt ashamed for my outburst, and for leaving him in the diner.

His loud sigh brought me out of my trance, and it was only now I realized he was already in the car. His presence was electrifying.

"I'm sorry you had to go through everything alone," he whispered softly. He didn't say what I had to go through, but I knew what he was referring to; it was my pregnancy. It was the hardest thing I had to deal with – apart from the rape.

"Tell me about it," he said.

My head shot up and my eyes searched for his. Despite the lingering feelings of hurt and guilt that almost overwhelmed me, I couldn't find the words to express how deeply sorry I was…for everything I did to him…for everything I took from him…from both of them. I stared at him from the passenger seat as his eyes met mine. His eyes were filled with curiosity, sadness and longing.

"Edward, I can't," I manage to say around the lump in my throat. The guilt consumed me, almost suffocating me.

"Bella, please," he pleaded, his voice barely a whisper as his green eyes pierced mine.

"I don't want to cause you any more heartache," I said.

"You won't," he shook his head. "Please, I want to know everything, Bella." His eyes were pleading with mine, increasing the overwhelming guilt in my heart.

I started telling him all about my pregnancy, every single detail. He asked questions, and sometimes I struggled with the answers. Edward urged me to tell him everything, not leaving anything out. His eyes were filled with hunger for the knowledge about his son.

"What was the birth like?" he asked.

I swallowed hard as I recalled the day of Tristan's birth.

"I was already one week overdue-" I swallowed "-I never dreamed I would give birth to Tristan on your birthday," I whispered.

"That was some surprise," he chuckled. I was still amazed at how easily Edward calmed down over the fact I lied to him…kept his son away from him.

I told him everything about Tristan's birth, except how I cried for him all the way through the delivery.

"Was it a difficult birth?" he asked, and I noticed how his Adams Apple bobbled up and down.

I shook my head. "No, not really." I smiled. "I was in labor for six hours before Tristan was born."

"Were you alone?" he asked with shadows lurking in his eyes.

"Rose and Charlie were with me," I told him.

"Bella," he said my name softly, and I hummed in answer. Edward looked away from me, breaking eye-contact for the first time since we started talking about Tristan's birth. "Did you ever think about me?"

I swallowed hard. I couldn't lie to him, he would know if I had anyways.

"In the beginning you were all I ever thought about," I started telling him. "When Tristan was born, everything changed; my priorities, my focus…everything." I swallowed around the lump that formed in my throat. "But not a day has gone by where I wasn't reminded of you – even if it wasn't by choice."

"What do you mean?" he asked confused.

"Tristan was born on the same day you were." I pointed down on my fingers. "He is the spitting image of you, he acts like you…he even inherited your smile for crying out loud."

"I see," he nodded.

"Everything was a painful reminder of what I'd left behind, but Tristan made everything worthwhile. I lived and breathed for him, Edward," I sighed.

"I wish…." He stopped mid-sentence. His gaze remained fixed on some random point outside the car window.

"If there is one thing I regret, it's that I kept my pregnancy a secret from you, Edward," I whispered softly. It felt like Edward and I had come to some sort of reconciliation.

Edward started the engine of the car, and I assumed we were done with our talk. I knew that we still had stuff to talk through, but the worst was over. Edward and I could now focus on our son and his future.

I fight these words; I bite my tongue, so I don't lie

Though it's me to blame, there is no more shame in me

I just feel the same, immune to all this pain

And the scars don't write a song for me at all

(I am stone – Demon Hunter)

EPOV

When we returned to Bella's apartment, we were welcomed by the most breathtaking little girl I'd ever seen. She came running toward Bella and hugged her legs tightly.

"Mommy," she yelled. Her voice sounded like music, filling the cold apartment with warm musical notes.

I swallowed hard.

This must be Bella's daughter. Bella placed her hands on the little girl's shoulders as she looked at the woman who stood behind the little girl. A tall blonde woman looked at me coldly before she addressed Bella.

"I'm running a little late," she said hoarsely.

"I'm sorry about that, Rose," Bella apologized.

"Don't worry about it. I'll see you tonight," she said. She pulled her coat on and gave the little girl a kiss before she walked passed me to the door. She treated me coldly, but I expected nothing more.

"Abbey," Bella croaked out, giving her attention to her daughter. She crouched down to the same level as her daughter and cupped her cheeks. "Why aren't you in bed?" she asked with a tinge of worry in her voice.

"I felt better, Mommy," the little girl pouted, but her voice sounded raspy. She looked past her mom, cocking her head to the one side as she eyed me warily. I was struck again at her beauty. She was the spitting image of Bella, all right – except for the russet skin tone and black hair. Her big brown eyes looked at me curiously.

"Who is this?" Abbey asked Bella. Bella cleared her throat as she got up from her crouching position. She rested her hand on Abbey's head while she looked at me.

"Abbey, this is Edward," Bella introduced me to her daughter.

Her eyes narrowed a little but then they grew wide as if she figured something out.

"You must be Tristan's daddy." She jumped up and down in excitement. I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Yes, I am," I crouched down and held my hand out for her to take. She looked at my hand and then she looked at my face, before she decided to take my hand.

"Your hair is just as messy as my brother's," she exclaimed. I chuckled again at her pure innocence.

"Sure is," I smiled.

"Edward, would you like something to drink?" Bella asked.

"I'll have some of your hot chocolate," I said, craving the taste of her hot chocolate.

Abbey took a seat next to me on the couch in the living room. Her openness amazed me and she reminded me of Tristan in so many ways. It pained me even more to think how much I'd missed out on my son's life.

"Why are you sad?" Abbey's voice brought me back to reality.

"I'm not sad," I lied.

"I can see it on your face," she said. She suddenly jumped forward and cupped my cheeks, "You have the same look on your face that mommy sometimes has."

"Why is your mommy sad?" I asked. Pure hunger filled my heart when she revealed something about her mom, hunger to know everything about Bella; things only her children would tell me.

She shrugged. "I think she misses my daddy," she pouted. My heart pounded painfully in my chest when Abbey revealed something about her father; something I knew nothing about…someone who held Bella's heart.

"Why would she miss your daddy?" I asked curiously.

Abbey's eyes grew sad, and my heart ached.

"He died," she said simply. My eyes widened at Abbey's confession about her father. I felt like a dick for asking about him and for causing such extreme sadness toward this little girl.

"I'm sorry," I said. She took her hands away from my cheeks, and my cheeks turned cold, missing her tiny hands already.

"'tis okay." She shrugged again. "I never knew him."

I looked at Abbey as she wringed her tiny fingers together. Her lips formed a pout as she focused on her fingers, and then her big brown eyes locked with mine again. So much sadness lingered in her eyes, I found it hard to believe she hadn't known her father.

"It's kinda like Tristan," she continued. "Only you are not dead, like my daddy is," she sighed with a tremble.

Before I knew what I was doing, I raised my hand and tucked a strand of her beautiful black hair behind her ear, and cupped her cheek. She leaned into my hand with her eyes closed, a smile curved her lips.

"You remind me of your mommy so much," I whispered. "So beautiful."

Her giggles filled the room, creating a beautiful symphony.

"My mommy is beautiful, too," she said through a fit of giggles.

"She sure is, Princess," I said.

The nickname rolled off of my tongue as if I had said it every day. It came so naturally to interact with Abbey, as if I had known her since birth; it reminded me of my interactions with Tristan. No discomfort, no atmosphere…everything came so easily. Her eyes widened at the nickname I used.

"Princess? Am I your princess?" she asked, clasping her hands over her mouth with widened eyes. I chuckled.

"If you want to be," I said, not knowing if I said something wrong.

She nodded her head ferociously. "I'd love to be your princess," she said in excitement.

I couldn't believe how deep she crawled into my heart in just the few minutes I came to know her. Maybe it was because she was Tristan's sister – and even though they didn't share the same father, they sure as hell share the same mother. Their DNA was the same – even if by a little. Or, maybe it was because she was a part of Bella…I had no clue why, but she crawled into my heart from the moment I laid eyes on her…from the moment she came running toward Bella with her black hair swinging from one side to the other as she ran, her big chocolate brown eyes all sparkly as she looked at her mom with so much love and adoration. It was so clear that Tristan and Abbey adored their mom, and worshipped the ground she walked on.

"Are you here to stay?" Abbey brought me out of my reverie. My eyes widened and a small gasp escaped my lips.

"Abbey, are you bombarding Edward with questions?" Bella's voice came from my back and I sighed in relief.

I had no idea how to answer Abbey's question.

Was I here to stay? Hell-fucking-yeah I was here to stay…I just had no idea how I was going to win my family back. I had no idea how I was going to win Bella's heart back. All I knew was that I had to figure out how to get closer to my son. I had to figure out a way to stay close to my son and to get to know him…to build a relationship with him.

"Mommy, guess what?" Abbey left my side and danced towards Bella.

Bella smiled so genuinely and so lovingly that it electrocuted my heart, bringing it back to life to see Bella so alive…so fucking beautiful. Bella crouched down to level with her daughter, and Abbey's arms immediately reached out towards her mother's face. I've come to know that Abbey liked touching people…it was absolutely adorable how she cupped everybody's cheeks.

"What?" Bella asked curiously, causing her eyes to sparkle with the excitement of hearing what her daughter wanted to say.

"Edward said that I'm his princess," she declared.

Bella's head shot up and her eyes met mine from across the room. There were so many emotions dancing behind those gorgeous eyes, but before I could even try to decipher even one…she guarded her eyes again, displaying only coldness. She kept her smile plastered on her face, though.

"Really? That's sweet, baby-girl," Bella said.

"Can Edward stay with us, Mommy?" she suddenly asked her mom. I almost choked on the hot chocolate Bella made for me.

"Baby," Bella brushed Abbey's hair from her face. "Edward has his own life," Bella explained.

Abbey placed her finger on her lips, rolling her eyes to the side as if in deep thought. A smile curved my lips because the resemblances between mother and daughter were so precise. Plus, Abbey looked cute as hell.

"But he is Tristan's daddy," she argued.

"Yes, he is Tristan's daddy, but he also has a girlfriend," Bella explained with a sigh. I guessed that Abbey understood the entire boyfriend/girlfriend thing because she nodded her head.

"Like you and Jakey," she smiled, and Bella nodded.

"Yes, like Jake and me," she agreed with a smile.

I guessed that Jake was the fiancé. It tore through my heart to learn more about Bella's boyfriend…to learn that she was in love again.

I knew I had no foot to stand on since I was engaged to be married myself, but in my case, I had no idea what I was going to do about Tanya. I just knew I had to make a decision, and I had to make one before I returned to LA. It was unfair to not be honest with Tanya about my real feelings; she deserved someone who could love her like she deserved to be loved. Not someone who only wanted her in his life because he was afraid of being alone.

"I'm sorry if she was a little too personal," Bella apologized, bringing me out of my thoughts about Tanya. I realized that Abbey left the room. "She went to the bathroom," Bella explained when she saw how I looked around the room for Abbey.

"She wasn't personal, Bella," I said.

"When are you leaving for LA?" she asked. I may be wrong but she seemed eager to get rid of me.

"Why?" I asked.

"I was just curious, Edward."

"I'm leaving on Friday afternoon after school," I said, "I'd like to see Tristan before I leave, if that's okay," I added quickly.

She nodded her head. "Of course."

"What happened to Abbey's father?" I dared to ask her. Bella's face ashen, fear filled her eyes and her hands started trembling.

"How do you know about him?" she asked. Her voice trembled.

"Urm…Abbey told me about him," I stuttered.

She shook her head, "He's dead," she uttered, but I could tell that she was lying. I've known Bella since we were little kids, and if there was one thing Bella couldn't do in front of me, it was to tell a lie. I could see right through her.

"I can tell that you're lying," I whispered. "But I won't push you into telling me anything. You obviously have your reasons," I said.

"It's for the best," she whispered, offering me at least some kind of explanation – even though I was still in the dark. I could tell that something had happened between her and Abbey's father, and that Bella wanted to keep it from Abbey.

"Tristan is going to be devastated when you leave," she said. It touched my heart that she uttered that sentence out loud, telling me that my son already wanted me in his life.

"I have to go," I said.

My throat swelled at the thought of leaving my son, and not seeing him for a few months. It damn near killed me just to think about it.

"I have to make some serious decisions, Bella, and sort my life out on that side before I can come back here," I confessed.

Her eyes met mine – eyes filled with millions of questions. "What do you mean?"

"I wish I could explain it to you, but I can't. I just know that I won't live without my son," I answered.

"I see." She bit her bottom lip.

"You have a beautiful daughter, Bella, you did such an amazing job with her as well – just like Tristan," I admitted once again.

"Thanks," she said.

"Bella," I said and waited for her to look into my eyes, "I'll never do anything to hurt Tristan."

She didn't answer, she just stared at me with so much doubt in her eyes that a pain shot through my heart knowing I did that to her. I made a vow to myself then and there, I would do everything in my power to win her trust back, to erase all of the doubt from her heart….

I remember when
We used to drive
Anywhere but here
As long as we'd forget our lives
We were so young and confused that we didn't know
To laugh or cry
Those nights were ours
They will live and never die

(Those nights – Skillet)

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