Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, songs etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

HERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER AS PROMISED. PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AND DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW…

Lyrics in this chapter belongs to: A shot across the bow – Mayday Parade

The Mortician's daughter – Black Veil Brides

Amy says – Flyleaf

Last kiss goodbye – Hinder

In the Dark – Flyleaf

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO oOoOoOoOoOo

No, it's not supposed to hurt this much

But when someone slowly breaks it off

It tends to leave a bitter taste

A scar, that slowly rips apart

(A shot across the bow – Mayday Parade)

Chapter Eleven – Exposed

BPOV

Tristan sat by the window in his room and stared at the black night. I sighed. Ever since Edward left a week ago, he had been distant…and sad. I was still amazed at how quickly they bonded in such a short amount of time. It was clear that Tristan missed his dad, but I couldn't foresee anything good come out of this. Edward lived in LA; his band was almost constantly on tour…

"Tris, I hate to see you like this" I spoke my thoughts out loud. His bronze head slowly rose and turned around to look at me. His eyes were a dull green. It broke my heart to see him like this.

"I just…I'm scared that I won't see him again" he said after a long pause. He bit down on his bottom lip when tears pooled in his eyes. I made my way across the room and sat down on the floor next to the chair he sat on. I reached out for his hands and clasped them between my own.

"He loves you so much, Tristan, he won't be able to stay away from you" I said honestly, because it was the truth. From the moment Edward laid eyes on Tristan, there was only love displaying in his eyes for his son. That much was clear.

"I just wish he would come back" he whispered.

I looked at my son and sighed. I gave his hands a little squeeze before I uttered my fears out loud, "Tris, Edward has a very busy life, you know, with the band and all-"

"That's why he went back, mom" he interrupted me. My forehead creased in confusion but before I could ask him about it, he explained, "He said that he needed to sort some stuff out with his band, and then he'll come back"

"Okay, but please don't expect too much. Edward has responsibilities, baby. The band takes a lot of his time-"

"Why are you saying these things? Why can't you just believe that he'll be back?" he started crying.

I bit my bottom lip, and tightened my hands around his. "Tris, I'm sorry" my own tears rolled down my cheeks, "I just don't want you to get hurt"

"He won't hurt me-"

"I never said he would" I swallowed, kicking myself for saying something in the first place. "I just explained to you that being in a band requires a lot of responsibilities, baby; touring, concerts, press conferences, photo-shoots…there's so much to do in a band, especially a band as famous as your dad's" I explained.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you, mom, I just…I know everything you're saying are true…and I guess that's what scares me the most" his lips trembled again.

I pulled him down onto my lap and hugged him tightly to my chest.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have caused more doubt inside that tiny heart of yours" I apologized. I wanted to see my son happy; I just had no idea how to make it possible with Edward and me living in completely different countries. I'm supposed to do everything for my children; I just couldn't push myself to do the one thing I was supposed to…Could I have left everything behind in Seattle and moved to LA? What would Abbey have thought about the idea? What about Jake?

No! If there were sacrifices to be made, it should come from Edward's side. He had to prove how important Tristan was to him?

"He promised me he would be back, so, I guess…I'm counting on that, mom"

"And I'll hope along with you, Tris"

"Thanks, mom" he smiled that crooked smile I loved so much – the one that reminded me of Edward so much.

I smiled back, caressing his cheek "I love you, always remember that"

"I love you too"

I helped him off of my lap and stood up with a sigh, "I'm going to see what your sister is up to" I said. His eyes followed my actions and I could tell that he still had something on his mind. I lingered for a second – to see if he wanted to say anything – before I turned around to leave the room. I figured that he would come to me - with whatever was on his mind – whenever he was ready.

"Are you still marrying Jake next month?" he asked in barely a whisper. I froze with my back towards him. "Mom-" he prompted.

"Why wouldn't I still marry Jake?" I asked. I knew the answer before I even asked the question…Edward Cullen.

"I just thought since dad-"

"Tristan" I swung around to face my son, "Edward is here for you, not for me. I'm still engaged to Jake and we're still getting married in a month"

"I don't want to live with Jake" he whined. He raked his fingers through his hair – reminding me of Edward, yet again.

"Baby, please don't do this…not now" I begged. He swallowed.

"Okay, I'm sorry" he nodded his head. "I just want you to be happy, mom"

"I am, baby, I am" I lied. How could I have told him that I would never be happy without Edward? How could I have told Tristan that I would always want Edward, but that he never wanted me?

As I made my way to the kitchen, I thought about Tristan's question. I never realized that Tristan had a problem with Jake, or, at least it never showed until Edward came into the picture. Was Tristan hoping that Edward and I would get back together? Hadn't he seen the tension between Edward and me? I mean, as hard as we tried to act normal in Tristan's presence, there were still times when things were tensed between us, not to mention all the awkward moments that had encountered between us.

"Mommy" my daughter squealed when I entered the kitchen where she sat on the countertop alongside Rosalie, who was busy preparing dough for doughnuts.

"Hey baby-girl" I smiled. I tucked a strand of her gorgeous hair behind her ear before I planted a soft kiss on her forehead. She squealed in delight.

"Rosie's making doughnuts" she squealed in delight, clapping her hands.

I was going to miss my children when I leave for LA tomorrow. Luckily, it was only for a week – this time. My heart hammered painfully when I thought about touring…I wouldn't be able to leave my children for that long, I just wouldn't. I needed to have a talk with Seth as soon as we're settled in LA.

"Abbey says that Charlie's coming to get them later?" Rose questioned with a raised eyebrow.

I nodded. "Yes, he's taking some leave from work" I explained.

"Why are you leaving, mommy?" Abbey asked with pouty lips.

I chuckled and ran my fingers through her hair. "I have to do some work for Quil, baby-girl, but I'll be back in a few days" I lied. All of these lies were starting to piss me off. In just two weeks, everything that seemed to come out of my mouth was lies!

"Why can't Rosie go?" she asked.

I sighed. Rosalie stopped kneading the dough and slowly turned around to face me. I winked at her with a smile.

"Because Rosie's not as smart as mommy is" I chuckled.

"Hey" Rosalie whined.

Abbey's giggles filled the kitchen.

"That was mean" Rosalie complained with her arms crossing her chest. She pouted her bottom lip for extra show.

"I have the smartest mommy in the world" Abbey giggled.

"Yeah, yeah, smarty pants" Rose poked Abbey's legs, "why don't you help me with this dough?" she asked Abbey.

"Sure, Rosie, what do I do?" She asked. Rose pulled a chair towards the counter where she helped Abbey off of the countertop and onto the chair.

"We're going to make little round balls – like this" Rose rolled a round ball with the dough to show Abbey, "and then we're going to flatten them a little – like this" she flatten the ball of dough with two fingers, "then we make little holes in the middle" Rose used a round cutter to make the hole in the middle, "like this" she explained and rose the doughnut to show the example to Abbey.

"That looks like fun" Abbey squealed again.

"Hey, Rose" I said softly while Abbey was busy rolling her first ball. "Thanks – for everything" I said.

"Hey, you're like my sister, and I'll do anything for you" she said and looked down at Abbey, "and these kids" she added in a whisper. "Are you ready for the whole LA-thing?" she asked.

I shook my head no. "But I have to be, right" I added.

"Babe, you need to re-evaluate everything about that part of your life and make a decision" she said. "And you have to do it before this gets too serious, Bells, because you may not believe in musicians and how their music saves lives, but there's people out there that does" she said seriously. "And from what I know about your songs" she whispered, "I know it'll help a lot of people deal with hurt" she added.

I looked at Abbey, but she was still occupied with the ball-rolling-thing, and haven't lead on that she was listening to Rose and me.

"I know" I whispered just as softly.

"I swear you did that recording just to prove to yourself that you weren't good enough to be a musician, and when it actually did the opposite you were too overwhelmed to think it through"

"I've always known that I could sing, Rose" I disagreed with a shake of my head.

"That's bullsh-" I warned her with my eyes that Abbey was still in the kitchen. "I mean, that's bull and you know it. Since I've met you, you've been degrading yourself. What had that man done to you for you to have such a low self-esteem?" she uttered furiously.

"It's not his fault, Rose-"

Both our heads shot up when I was interrupted by a knock on the front door.

"It's probably Charlie" I explained as I left the kitchen and made my way to the door. I peeked through the peeping hole and saw Charlie rubbing his moustache on the other side. I chuckled while opening the door.

"Hey, dad" I laughed.

"What's so funny?" he asked and leaned in to kiss my cheek, "Hey yourself" he added quickly.

"Grandpa" Abbey yelled. He crouched down with open arms as Abbey ran straight into them. Her hands were full of dough.

"Abbey-girl" he nuzzled his moustache in her neck and she squirmed in delightfulness.

Charlie was looking forward to having them for an entire week. He was a little worried that I was going to be in the same city as Edward Cullen, but I assured him that the chances of me running into Edward was slight to fucking zero. Besides, I had no clue where Edward was situated.

Charlie spent the afternoon listening to every word that came from Abbey and Tristan's lips. When Abbey told him that she was Edward's princess, Charlie eyed me warily before he continued to listen. Tristan told him all about his meeting with Edward, and how much fun he had with his dad before he left for LA.

When it was time for Charlie to leave, Tristan and Abbey went to get their stuff ready.

"Bella-"

"Before you say anything" I held up my hand, "I wanted to talk to you about something, first"

"This sounds serious" he raised his eyebrow and rubbed down on his moustache.

"It's about Edward" I simply said.

His eyes narrowed by the mention of Edward's name, but as soon as he looked into my eyes, realization dawned in his brown orbs. He swallowed hard.

"Bella-"

"Why?" was all I could get out of my mouth. My heart was a pummeled mess ever since Edward told me how he called me and came for me, but Charlie refused him any access.

"I was so mad when you came back to Forks…broken. I was mad that I trusted Edward with my baby-girl's heart…and he ruined you"

"I was in a bad place because Edward chose his band, dad" I whispered. My heart broke into a million pieces as the memories of that morning played off in front of me again. "But he came for me…he came for me, dad, and you should've told me" I looked into his sad eyes. "Have you any idea what I've really been through since I've left Edward? Have you any idea what I've been through with Tristan? All the guilt I've carried around for not letting Edward know he have a son…"

"You would have gone back to him" Charlie mumbled.

"Dad, I fucking loved him, and yes, had I known he came back for me I would have gone back to him without even thinking about it" my voice raised an octave, "we never had problems, he chose his band and that was the problem"

"He shouldn't have chosen that stupid band in the first place…and that pissed me off. He came back after he chose the band, he should have made you his first fucking priority, Bella" Charlie was mad, but I was even madder. Charlie had, without realizing it, destroyed my life. By trying to protect me, he actually caused more harm. I have suffered through life because I had believed that I meant nothing to the glorious Edward fucking Cullen…I was wrong. Oh my fucking word, I was wrong to leave him all those years ago.

"Dad, you were wrong to have kept Edward away from me" I finally said. "Mine and Tristan's lives would have been so different with Edward-"

"Are you listening to yourself? How would it have been better, Bells, tell me that?" he hissed, tucking his hands into his pants pockets.

"I…I-"

"You would have toured everywhere with him…Tristan would have lived on a fucking tour bus for crying out loud" he interrupted me.

"It still wasn't your place to have made that decision for me, dad, you should have given me a chance to make my own damn choices" I said furiously. My entire body was trembling from the fury I felt towards my father.

"Bells, I'm sorry, okay, I'm fucking sorry I ruined your life" he sighed, "I was only trying to protect you"

"We'll talk about this when I get back from LA" I shook my head, "I don't want my kids to hear us arguing, especially Tristan, he's already fragile about Edward as it is, I don't need to add to his worries"

"Maybe you can think about this while you're in LA" he suggested with a frown.

"I will" I said.

I said, "I love you," as I left you.

Regrets still haunt my hollow head…

…You said you loved me as you left me.

Regrets still haunt your saddened head,

(The Mortician's Daughter – Black Veil Brides)

"Thank you, LA" I said out of breath into the mic. I watched in awe as they chanted my name for more. My heart was beating uncontrollably fast from the adrenaline that ran through my veins.

"If you'd like to get your 'Black Hearts' album signed, or if you'd just like to meet me, I'll be back here in ten minutes" I said. I waved to them while I walked off the stage. I went to my dressing room and literally fell on the chair in front of the mirror.

I was exhausted. Three days of this shit; fucking press conference after press conference, photo shoots for the Chicks & Guitars article, CD-signings almost every day…I've had it with this shit. How the fuck had Edward pulled this off for more than ten years?

I've been in LA for four days. Four days without seeing my kids, and fuck me, I missed them so damn much. I've never been away from them this long and it was killing me. I've called them every day and Tristan was complaining now that he wanted me to come back. He reminded me that first night I had called him that we never gave Edward the details of where he'd be. I sighed. I also remembered that Edward called moments after Tristan.

"Hello" I answered the phone without looking at the caller ID.

"Bella?" he questioned. I never answered the phone when he called. I always gave the phone to Tristan when I saw that it was Edward who called.

I gasped when I recognized his velvety voice. It caused shockwaves to go through my heart.

"Ur…yes, I'm sorry" I stuttered. "I should've called you earlier"

"Sorry about what? Fuck, is Tristan-"

"No! Edward, Tristan is fine" I said quickly.

"Thank goodness" he sighed. "You nearly gave me a fucking heart attack" he accused.

"I'm sorry" I said again. "I'm out of town for a few days-"

"Why?"

"It's kind of personal" I explained. "You can call Tristan at-"

"He's not with you?" he sounded surprised.

"No, he's not with me, Edward, I'm on a business trip" I said in irritation. "Plus, he has school" I added.

"Where can I get hold of him then?" he asked. He also sounded annoyed now.

"Charlie's" I said.

"Fuck" he exclaimed. "He's not going to let me speak to him"

"Charlie's not shallow, Edward" I hissed.

"I remember a time that he was below fucking shallow, Bella"

"He loves Tristan, and he knows how much you mean to him" I defended Charlie.

"He also loves you and you also mean a lot to him" he argued his case.

"Edward" I sighed in exhaustion, "Can you just trust me on this?"

"Fine, give me the number?"

I gave him the number and then there was an awkward silence between us.

"Ur, Bella" he said hesitantly.

"Mmm?"

"How is Tristan really doing?" he asked.

"He misses you like crazy, Edward" I said honestly. "We've had a couple of rough nights after you left, but he's fine now…just misses you"

"I miss him so fucking much" he sounded sad. "Everything's just taking so much longer than I expected" he explained.

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.

"I don't want to say anything right now, but, Bella, I promised Tristan that I'm coming back for good" his voice sounded raw with emotion, "and I meant every fucking word" he sounded driven, like nothing on this earth could keep him away from Tristan.

"I just don't want him to get hurt, Edward"

"Why can't you just trust me? For once in your life, Bella, just fucking trust me. I've been trying really hard to show you that I'm here to stay" he hissed. "The least you can do is to believe in me"

"I'm trying" I whispered.

"Try harder" he said. "Goodbye, Bella" he said. With that he ended the call.

He was right; I should try harder. I have treated him unfairly since he appeared again. Even if I had good reason to do so, he had more reason to hate me forever. But Edward had been nothing more but forgiving and civil towards me. Maybe it was time for me to do the same…but fuck, it was just so hard. Too much pain, too much bitterness, too much anger…

Could I really forgive Edward for choosing his band over me? Could I really forgive him for hurting me in the worst possible way?

The answers to these two questions were actually simple; only time would tell.

I was brought out of my reverie by a knock on my dressing room door.

"Come in" I murmured.

Seth's head poked around the door. He smiled broadly, displaying his dimples.

"Are you ready?" he asked as he entered. He kept the door ajar as he strode towards me.

"I can't do this anymore, Seth"

"What do you mean?" his forehead creased in confusion. He ran his big hand down his face with a sigh escaping his narrowed lips.

Seth had been nothing but good to me. We've met when I started working for Quil – Seth's best friend. We clicked instantly. He reminded me of Jake in so many ways, and I guess it was what started the friendship in the first place. He was a remedy to my broken heart – as all my friends were. His wide, dimpled smile had the power to warm my heart…like the first day of Spring. He knew everything about my life…even the Sam-part.

"Everything!" I exclaimed. "Singing, touring, Bella/Izzy" I said. My voice was thick with the intense emotions that sprang to my heart.

"You know I'll support any decision you make, Bella" he said with a warm voice.

"I know" I smiled.

"Is this about Edward Cullen?" he asked hesitantly.

My head shot up. "No, of course not. This is about Tristan and Abbey, Seth. I can't be Izzy and be happy without them"

"Bella-"

"No, listen. I can't even be away from them for a week, Seth. I know there'll be times where I'll have to go on tours and shit…I just can't leave them behind" I said. "There's no other way…Izzy has to die"

"Okay" he agreed. "How did you want to do this?"

I shook my head sideways, "I have no idea" I chuckled. "I was thinking about this for a while now, and I've only figured everything out now, you know, the dying part…"

"This world is going to miss you…talent like yours doesn't come around very often" he said regretfully.

"They were fine before Izzy came around, they'll learn to adjust" I chuckled, "besides, new talent comes along every day"

"I guess, but not with your pipes, Isabella Swan"

We laughed and discussed possible scenarios of how to end Izzy's life. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.

Seth cleared his throat. "Hey, Izzy" he said. I eyed him warily. He rolled his eyes to the open door. I gasped as soon as it dawned on me; we should be more careful about what we talked about. Anyone could have heard us.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed.

Says the world doesn't even know
About the pain she hides inside
Says happiness is just a lie
Smell the roses, throw them down
Just whisper, don't make a sound
Don't want the world to know the truth
You've been broken and abused...

(Amy says – Flyleaf)

I barely made it into my hotel room when my phone started ringing. My hands were full, one hand held my gym bag – filled with my Bella-accessories -, and the other held my very large handbag. I searched for my phone in my handbag and cursed loudly when it stopped ringing. It started ringing almost immediately as I was still searching for it. When I finally found my phone, I answered without looking at the caller ID.

"Bella" his velvety voice sounded tense.

"Edward" I answered in confusion. Why the hell was he calling me?

"I need to see you?" he said adamantly.

"Why?" I asked.

"Where can we meet?" he ignored my question.

"It's late and I'm pretty bushed" I answered, completely forgotten that Edward hadn't even a clue I was in LA.

"Give me your hotel details, Bella, and don't fight me on this because I'll just find you" he said.

I smiled wickedly. He had no clue where I was; besides, I wasn't even booked in as Bella.

"Go ahead and try" I said snidely and hung up.

What the hell was his problem? And who the fuck gave him the right demanding shit from me?

I was beyond tired. I've signed albums for over an hour; signing, smiling for photos and smiling some more. Whoever chose the celebrity lifestyle for fun was delusional. The only fun part for me was writing lyrics to my music. Performing them was also fun, but I just wished that I could perform them without the publicity, tours and albums. I just wanted to get my songs out there because it was some kind of remedy to my broken heart. It helped me not to keep my emotions so bottled-up inside.

I threw my bags down on the floor in irritation. I needed something to drink, something strong. I dragged my feet to the mini-bar and scanned through its contents. That wasn't going to be enough for how I was feeling. I needed a bottle of Jack; I haven't had the need to drown myself in my sorrows for so long…it was kind of strange that I was thinking of doing that exact thing right now. I never dealt with my problems by drinking; my children were my strength. An overdose of them and I was good to go, but they weren't here, and I really needed to get some stuff out of my system. Stuff songs were no good for…

I dialed the front desk and ordered a bottle of Jack to my room. I had to wait for them before I could get rid of my mask…this dreadful fucking mask I was hiding behind. I had to give myself credit for the way we did my make-up…I was hardly recognizable to myself. The black hair and blue contacts also did their job…

I was on edge every time I wore these stupid outfits and this stupid wig. It felt as if I was going to be exposed at any second. It was nerve wracking…

When the knock came that I was waiting for, I sighed in relief. I was still pissed at Edward's adamant behavior over the phone. Plus, how he hung up on me the other night pissed me off as well. Who the fuck did he think he was? I'm not some chick that tripped over my own two feet every time he snapped his fingers. I'm not one of those horny fans that followed his every fucking move, almost humping his fucking legs just by standing close to them.

The more I thought about it the more pissed off I got.

I swung the door open and gasped when Edward Cullen stood at the other side of the door. Just as he stormed past me, room-service arrived and handed me the silver tray with the bottle of Jack sitting on top of it. I felt my cheeks burn as the blush crept to them full-force.

"Thank you" I whispered softly. I had no idea what the hell Edward wanted…with Izzy Stewart.

I slammed the door shut and the sound echoed through the hotel room. I swallowed hard before I turned around to face him. I gasped again when I looked at his face, all smug.

"I told you over the phone that I wanted to see you" he chuckled. "You know, from the first moment I laid eyes on Izzy Stewart I knew there was something familiar about her. I should have known by the way she swung her sexy fucking hips while she sings that those exact hips belonged to you" he rubbed his forehead and moved to the back of his neck. He eyed me teasingly.

"I…ur…"

"From the first moment I saw Izzy, I was in love with her" he confessed. His cheeks turned a light pink as he laughed softly. I swallowed. His laugh always had the power to erupt goosebumps over my entire body, turning my heart to mush. "I should have known that there was only one woman in this world who could make me feel that way" he admitted finally. My heart raced at his confessions about Izzy and Bella. I had no idea what to make of it, though. Why was he saying these things to me? Was he still in love with me?

I shook my head to clear it from all these absurdities.

How the fuck had he figured it out? Sure enough, no one knows me better than Edward Cullen, but I was pretty sure that we had pulled off this amazing fucking mask. I was so sure that no one would have recognized me.

"I guess your whole new look made it impossible for me to even consider the fact that you were indeed one and the same person. Plus, the fact that I've never heard you sing before added to the doubt" he paced the living room floor, tugging his hair before he came to a halt, "You have a beautiful voice, by the way" he winked with a crooked smile.

He started pacing again. I wanted to say something but my mouth opened and closed like a fucking fish, without a word rolling off of my tongue. Besides, he was on a fucking roll explaining Izzy and Bella to me. If I wasn't so mad at him, or so shocked, I might have found the entire situation funny as hell. The way he paced the room, the way he tugged on his hair, the way his lips curled into a crooked smile or narrowed line, the way he pointed his finger while explaining how he should have known Izzy was Bella…everything about him was hilariously funny.

"Of course, the fact that I've blocked – or tried to block – your memory from my mind has helped the situation because I hardly recognized your voice…until tonight at that concert. I knew it was you from the moment you opened your mouth, and then everything fell into place. I saw your face behind the mask; even with the blue contacts I knew they were your eyes, Bella"

"Edward" I whispered hoarsely.

"I just don't understand" he froze in his steps and looked directly into my eyes. "Why all the secrecy?" he asked. Tiny crinkles formed on his forehead.

"I wanted to protect my children from this" I explained while pulling my black wig off and loosened my own hair, running my fingers through them as they fell onto my back. I threw it on the couch and walked to the cabinet to get some glasses. I was planning on drinking out of the bottle, but since I had an unannounced guest, glasses would have to suffice.

"How are you protecting them?" he asked.

"Are you that fucking naïve?" I snorted. "Why had I left you years ago? Why had I asked you to choose?"

He narrowed his eyes at me, "I thought we were past this?" he questioned. He rested both of his hands on his hips as he looked at me in annoyance.

I poured the drinks and approached him with the glasses. "Drink?" I asked.

"Thanks" he said as he took the glass from me.

"I hate the media, Edward, and I refuse to let my children go through that. I needed the cash, that's the only reason why I did what I did" I brought the rim of the glass to my lips and tipped it over. I hissed as the strong fluid ran down my throat. Fuck, it's been a while since I had a strong drink go down my throat. "Let's face it; I couldn't exactly go on serving drinks at a club forever. I needed something more, not only for myself, but for my children as well. I just needed enough to get my degree…"

"I understand, Bella" he said, swirling the glass between his hands. "I'm not judging you, I'm simply asking about it to understand better"

"I spoke with my manager tonight, and I've told him that I don't want to be Izzy anymore. I can't stand to be away from my children" I moved back to the mini-bar, but instead of pouring another drink, I brought the bottle of Jack along. I motioned for Edward to sit down as I took a seat on the sofa across him. I refilled my glass and handed the bottle to him, but he declined.

"I still have to drive back to my house" he explained.

I mouthed 'Oh' and took another swig of my drink.

"I hate hiding behind this chick" I laughed bitterly, "but I had no choice. My first album will get me the cash that I need-"

"I can help as well" he offered. My head snapped up to meet his beautiful sincere emerald eyes. All I could see was sincerity, not the pity I was expecting to see.

"Ur…no" I hissed. That was like fuel to an open fire, seeing as I was already so pissed at this man. I never had the chance to let go of all my bottled-up anger and bitterness towards him. Edward chose the wrong time to talk to me.

"Bella, you cared for my son for ten years-"

"I don't want your money. I've never wanted your damn money" I lashed out. "I wanted you to love me unconditionally, I wanted you to want to marry me, and want to have children with me. It never was about your fucking money" I yelled. The Jack was starting to get to me.

I abruptly stood up and started drinking out of the bottle, fuck the glass. I've never had the chance to completely let go…either Rose or my children were always around. I had so much anger inside of me, and half of it was because of this man.

"You rejected me, Edward, after all we've been through-"

"How long are you going to keep this up? Can't you just get over it?" he said in irritation.

I gaped at him, "Get over it?" I asked snidely. "Get fucking over it? Your rejection nearly killed me; if it wasn't for the fact that I was pregnant…I don't know what would've happened to me. I hate you! You're a fucking bastard, Edward Cullen"

"So I've heard" he sighed. "Look, I'll come back in the morning-"

"No!" I yelled. "Don't you get it? I don't want you to come back, in fact; I don't want you anywhere near me"

"That's going to be hard considering we have a son together" he sneered.

"I've been through hell because of you" I whispered, ignoring him completely. "It damn near killed me when you chose your band"

"Bella, I came back for you" he said remorsefully.

"I loved you unconditionally-" I ranted on.

"Then you shouldn't have made me choose" he interrupted me, just as angry now. "If you loved me so damn much, you should've accepted who I was, Bella" he yelled. He pierced his lips, fireballs shooting from his eyes.

"It's a good thing I did make you choose, because I realized that you never loved me-"

Edward stormed towards me, fire blazing in his eyes. He clenched his fists when he came to a halt in front of me. We stood chest to chest, both our chest heaved from build-up fury. I backed away slowly, but with every step I took he took one right along with me. His hands came up and he gently grabbed me by my arms.

"I fucking loved you, Bella" he whispered. His voice was raw with emotion. I took another step backwards only to feel the cold wall against my back. My breathing became hard realizing that I was trapped between the wall and Edward's arms.

"God, I love you" he whispered again.

His breath wafted over my face. His breath was still sweet and so fucking hot; my insides quivered at the memory of his breath all over my body as he kissed me everywhere, never missing a spot. I closed my eyes because it fucking hurt to think about those times. Fuck! I've craved this man for ten years; craved every part of him; his full luscious lips, his swirling tongue, his perfect hands…his…his…I felt the heat on my cheeks and quickly raised my eyes to see if Edward had noticed. I gasped. His eyes kept trailing from my eyes to my lips and back again.

His hands started rubbing soothingly up and down my arms. A shiver ran through my body and he wasn't even touching my skin. Edward and images of our bodies connected as one, swirled in my mind. I was a bit tipsy and so fucking confused. I had no control over my thoughts or my body's reaction towards him.

"Bella" he whispered. The raw desire was evident in his voice.

I was frozen as I watched his face inch closer to mine. The tip of his tongue pushed past his lips as he wet his lips before he locked them with mine. I should have stopped it. I should have pushed him off because I knew it was wrong, and too soon. But I couldn't…my desperate need for him won the fight between my heart and my head.

At first his lips merely ghosted over mine, barely touching me. For a moment he pulled back and I wanted to scream with anticipation. I thought he was going to stop everything and walk away, but fuck, was I wrong. His one arm came around my back and rested just above my ass, the other hand leaned on the wall behind me, locking me in. He pulled me closer to his body, and my arms went around his neck, fingers locked in the hair at the nape of his neck. How I've missed this? He moaned loudly when I pulled him closer to my body, closer to my lips. His hand came down from the wall and slid down my neck and across my collarbone to my shoulder. These light sweet touches made me breathless, made me want more, made me remember him…us. Our lips locked once again, but this time the kiss was filled with desperate need…so much fucking need.

Edward pushed my body against the wall and lined his body up with mine. I moaned when he flicked his tongue out, swirling over my lips, pleading for entrance. My lips parted with a lustful moan as his tongue graced mine passionately. My hands ghosted down his neck, down to his chest until I fisted his shirt. I felt torn in two; my heart wanted this, needed this, but my head screamed for me to stop while it was still an innocent kiss. My head screamed at what a big mistake this was, and that it was only going to worsen things between Edward and me, but the woman inside of me, inside of my heart – the broken woman – refused to stop.

Our kiss turned into a kiss of fury; biting, sucking, pushing and pulling. My fists tightened around his shirt as I desperately tried to push him off – not really wanting to -, but Edward's body pushed harder against mine, deepening our kiss like the way I remembered. I pulled my head away when I needed to breathe and threw it back against the wall, granting him access to my neck. His lips trailed from my lips down to my jawline, trailing feathery light kisses to my exposed neck. I moaned - it might have been a hiss - his name out. Before I knew what the fuck I was doing, I raised my legs and wrapped them around his hips. His hands went around my ass instantly, pulling me closer to his lower body.

It was when I felt his rock hard cock rubbing against my aching center that I've pushed against his chest again. He took it the wrong way as he sucked harder against my neck.

"Stop" I whispered through clenched teeth, pushing against his chest again. "Please stop"

Edward's head shot up, but he didn't let go of my legs. His eyes were dark with passion and lust. His one hand came up and gently rubbed my cheeks. It was then that I have realized that I've been crying.

My insides were shivering, my heart hammered hard against my chest, my lips still blazed…not to mention the throbbing pain between my legs. I was a fucking mess. How could I have been so stupid?

"Bella, I'm sorry" he whispered hoarsely. He was out of breath as he let go of my body. My legs dropped to the floor, but I couldn't find the strength to move. My legs felt like jelly from Edward's touches and kisses.

"I want you to go" I whispered before a sob escaped my quivering lips. I angrily wiped the tears that streamed out of my eyes down my cheeks.

"Bella, no, we need to talk"

"This was a mistake, Edward" I cried. My heart broke into a million pieces all over again. The reality of the situation sunk in when the scene of ten years ago played out before me. I hardened my heart at the hurt displaying in his eyes. "Besides, I'm marrying Jake in a month" I watched as the dagger I've stabbed into his heart, twisted even more by my words.

The pain etched in his features made the muscles near his eyes twitch, and his fingers dug into his head.

"No!" he forced out. "Bella, no, you can't" his voice was filled with excruciating pain.

"Yes, Edward, I can and I fucking will"

"Didn't you feel anything when we kissed?" he asked. His face was pulled as if in pain.

"Sure, I felt lust. I remember how good the sex was between us, but that's it" I lied through my fucking teeth. I saw how my blasphemy sunk in, destroying the beautiful green of his eyes and leaving it the dull grey from before he met Tristan. How easily he believed my lies?

"You can't be serious" he hissed.

"I'm dead fucking serious. You were a good fuck, Edward, that's it. I've moved on and so have you…"

"I'll fight for you 'till the very fucking end, Bella" he said as a single teardrop rolled down his cheek. My chest constricted as the pain overwhelmed me to the point where it felt like I was going to die from heartache.

"You won't have to fight very long" I whispered. "I want you to leave"

I watched the back of his hunched shoulders as he closed the door behind him. My legs gave way underneath me, and I sunk to the floor. The sobs that escaped my mouth were loud and made the excruciating pain in my heart increase by double. Why had I lied to him? I'd never know the answer…I guess, I was trying to protect my already broken heart from getting trampled on again.

How'd we end up like that?

Another train off the tracks

It always hurts looking back now

(Last kiss goodbye – Hinder)

I woke up with a pounding head and a broken heart. I couldn't fall asleep after Edward had left. All I kept feeling was his lips against mine, how they moved in perfect unison with my own, the taste of his tongue when he entered my mouth. I wanted him, fuck, I wanted him so bad. I just couldn't push myself to give in to my emotions. For so long I've carried this pain inside my chest. For so long I've believed that he didn't love me. For so long I've hated him for rejecting me and hurting me.

All of the pain I've carried for ten years couldn't just disappear in one night…in one kiss…in one touch!

After I got out of bed, I took a long shower. I could still smell Edward on myself and it kinda fucked with my head. I watched as the water sprayed onto my body, cleansed me in every way, and then the water that dripped from my body went down the drain. It reminded me of my relationship with Edward…how everything we had, everything we felt, just washed down the drain.

I was about to get myself some coffee when there was an urgent knock on my door. I froze and frowned. I moved to the door hesitantly because I was so damn scared that it was Edward. I stood by the door and was startled when the knock became a full blown pound.

"Who is it?" I asked.

"Seth"

I sighed and swung the door open for my friend. I needed some damn sunshine in my life this morning, and Seth was just the person for the job. But I was struck with a pale-looking Seth, forehead creased with worry-lines.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I shut the door behind him.

He just shook his head and handed me the morning paper. I frowned. I took it and turned my back to him as I opened the folded paper. I gasped. Shock filled my lungs which made it impossible to breathe. It felt as if someone pierced my lungs and all the air escaped.

On the front page was a picture of Izzy Stewart and Bella Swan. No! How the hell had this happened?

The headline read: Can you see the resemblances between the two photos?

Shocking truths were discovered last night after Izzy's concert. Izzy Stewart's been hiding behind a mask, but we've uncovered her real identity. Izzy's real name is in fact Isabella Marie Swan.

The Goddess of Goth, as we came to know and love, is living two separate lives. One of Isabella Marie Swan and the other of Izzy Stewart. The one is a bar lady and a single mom while the other is a musician.

Also, if you're a fan of the band 'Eclipse', you'll remember Isabella Swan as the beautiful shy girl that accompanied lead singer, Edward Cullen, everywhere. No one knows when they've split up, or why, but Isabella disappeared from the picture, making way for the gorgeous Tanya Denali.

The article even had mine and Seth's conversation from last night. Word for fucking word was quoted. I shook my head. This couldn't be happening. How the fuck had they figured out about Edward?

You can also kiss the Goddess of Goth goodbye as she's planning her own 'death' real soon. Apparently she can't do the touring and be so far away from her children.

Jake…Tristan…Abbey…that was all that went through my head. Soon enough, their faces was going to be spread on every newspaper and magazine. How could I have done this to them? My lies were uncovered…what was Jake going to say?

But even with all this swirling around in my mind, I kept thinking about Sam Uley. If the media published one photo of my children…Abbey specifically, he would know about her, and that idea scared the shit out of me. I had nowhere to run to because he would find me wherever I went. Besides, I would be recognizable anywhere since my face is printed on a fucking front page…as from today, Bella Swan would have no privacy whatsoever.

Now I am mute despite myself

All of them are gone

The silence overtakes me

The idle words forsake me and I am left to face me

I'm held accountable

For every idle word

(In the dark – Flyleaf)

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A/N: First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for reviewing on the previous chapter. I was in awe at the responses I've received. Thank you so much. It meant the world to me…All the guest reviewers – thank you for taking the time to review.

I realize that the previous chapter missed the smooth flow as all the previous chapters, and to be honest, I had a hard time writing that chapter. I let certain reviewers get to me, and tried to put everything Edward went through in one chapter. I made a fuckup of the chapter, and I apologize to everyone.

On to this chapter: okay, so I've said that I had a reason for Izzy! She isn't a big part of the story, but I wanted to bring her into the story for a specific purpose…you'll see what I have planned with that. I know Izzy's mask doesn't make sense to a lot of you, but this is fiction, not real life.

So…the kiss…eeek I'm nervous about your responses! Be honest in your reviews…

Who still thinks Edward's an asshole? I hope I've changed some of your minds…

Review, review, review….