Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Lyrics in this chapter belongs to:

Iris – Goo Goo Dolls

Forever and always (Bullet for my Valentine)

Kaleidoscope eyes – Panic! At the disco

This reader is totally right about Bella's relationship with Jake – "And Bella is just totally confused and I think that she just want something to stay the same with all the chaos in her life. And Jake is a safe option" HelenaBates2907. You summed that up perfectly. I know some of you don't understand Bella's obsession with Jake, but all in good time.

Then a guest reviewer reviewed about my author's note on the previous chapter. I'm sorry about spoiling the ending for you. I was so concerned about other readers who had concerns about Bella's wedding that I never even stopped to think about the readers that don't want to know about the ending and would like to be surprised. My apologies about that. From now on, I will not say anything about the story; if you have a question, ask me in a review and I'll PM you. I hope that this guest reviewer will continue with the story

Thank you for all the reviews I've received on the previous chapter. Please keep it up and I'll post more frequently. Welcome to all the new readers. Thank you for all the recommendations and adding this story to your communities.

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Chapter Sixteen – A fucked up turn of events

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive

(Iris – Goo Goo Dolls)

EPOV

"Fuck" I yelled when I took a seat at the bar in the entertainment room. I was fucking livid – not only at Bella, but at myself as well.

I have lost my temper, again. I was trying, fuck, I was trying my damn hardest to control my anger around Bella, but she made it so fucking hard with her constant rollercoaster of emotions. One moment she's civil towards me, even laughing, the next she's angry and cold, treating me like shit.

Learning that my son is a Swan broke my heart all over again. She couldn't even have given him my name…after everything she took from me; she couldn't even have tried to make up for it by giving him my name.

"Dad?" Tristan's voice was unsure behind me. I quickly turned around and my heart softened instantly.

"Hey, Tris, what's up?" I smiled. I stretched my hand out towards him and motioned for him to come closer. He tugged on his hair while he approached me slowly. I smiled. That sure as hell was a bad trade that he had gotten from me. He'd be bold before he turned thirty.

"Did you and mom have a fight?" he asked sadly.

"More of a misunderstanding" I sighed. I helped him onto one of the barstools and took a seat next to him.

"She's crying, you know?"

"I'm sorry, buddy, I just…" I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I am a little frustrated and I took it out on her, I'm sorry"

"Is it true that you chose your band over mom?" he asked. That question caught me off guard and it felt like someone had punched me in my stomach, leaving me breathless. I gasped. That fucker, Jake, he was going to pay for this. My heart constricted in pain; the fear of Tristan hating me for what I've done clawed my chest, making it impossible for me to even breathe, let alone speak.

"Tristan-" I started saying, but he held his tiny hand up and looked at me with sad eyes.

"Just don't lie to me, please, dad, I've had enough of lies. I just want to know the truth" he pleaded.

"Your mom made an ultimatum ten years ago" I started telling him what had happened between Bella and me ten years ago. I had done all of this with my heart in my throat and fear running through my veins. I would die if my son hated me for what I've done.

"You chose the band?" he asked incredulously, as if he hadn't believed a word Jacob had said earlier.

"Technically, yes. I was young, naïve and very stupid" I whispered.

"You didn't know that mom was pregnant with me, right?" he asked.

My eyes widened in shock. "Tristan, I swear to you that I had no clue. I don't even think that your mom knew when she left me" I explained. I waited a few minutes, blew out a long breath and asked him the question I feared the most. "Can you forgive me?"

"Yeah, I forgive you" he smiled sadly. "I just wish that mom could do the same"

"Me too, buddy, me too" I sighed in relief. I had tears swimming in my eyes from the actual relief I felt from his forgiveness. "Would you like a soda?" I asked as I rounded the bar and opened the fridge. I scanned the contents before I turned to look at him for an answer.

"Can I have a coke?" he asked with hopeful eyes. I had a feeling that he wasn't allowed to drink coke, but Bella never said anything to me, so I grabbed two cans of coke and opened one for him. He thanked me before he took big gulps. I returned to my seat next to my son, and opened my own can of coke.

"I don't want her to marry Jake" he suddenly said with tears pooling in his eyes. My heart jumped to my throat at the heartache in his eyes.

I swallowed hard, "Don't you like him?" I asked, playing with the cold can.

"He's an okay guy, I guess, I just don't want him to be my father" Tristan explained.

"Tris" I swiftly turned to him and cupped the back of his hand that was resting on the bar-counter. "No matter who your mom marries, I'll always be your dad…your only dad" I said. "No one's going to replace me"

"But I won't be living with you" he complained, "I wanna live with you and mom. Can't you just work things out?" he asked with a trembling voice.

I covered my mouth with my free hand and blocked the sob that was about to escape. I couldn't stand to see my son so unhappy, so heartbreakingly sad.

"It's not that simple, Tris. A lot has happened" I tried to explain. I wanted to tell him that I loved his mother so fucking much that it actually hurts just to fucking breathe. I wanted to tell him that I would fight until the day I die for her love. I wanted to tell him that I was working on getting Bella back. But, I couldn't. I couldn't give him false hope. It would have just crushed him further if things hadn't worked out the way I had planned.

Bella was calling Tristan, so he excused himself and ran back into the kitchen.

I felt like killing Jacob for what he had said. I was also still pissed at Bella. Her attitude towards me was unwelcome. Even though I understood why she hated me so much, she could at least have tried to be more civil towards me. I also didn't understand what the fuck was going on inside her mind. One moment she was fucking kissing me while the next she wanted to kill me. Her fucking mood swings were giving me whiplash, and I was growing annoyed with the entire situation.

I know I've said that I was going to stay calm and eat up all of her shit to prove to her how much I fucking loved her, but one can only take so much shit. I'm not her fucking punching bag.

"Prince Charming" Abbey yelled as she ran into the room. My lips curved up into a smile as I caught her and picked her up. Tristan was right behind her and also had a smile on his face. He looked content as he looked at his sister in my arms. It was very clear that he loved his sister more than anything in this world. I was so proud of him.

"Hey there pretty little Princess" I cooed while placing kisses all over her face. She giggled and squirmed in my arms.

"Mommy said that it's late and we should go to bed" she pouted, "She promised that I can watch my movie in the morning"

"Well, your mommy's right, Princess, it is a bit late" I chuckled.

"Goodnight, Edward, I love you" she suddenly said as her tiny arms wrapped around my neck fiercely.

My eyes had widened for a second before they stung with unshed tears. "I love you, too, Princess" I said with my heart in my throat. "Sweet dreams" I whispered. She wiggled out of my arms and ran out of the room again.

"I've never seen her like this with anyone besides mom, Dad, not even with Jake. She truly loves you" Tristan said when Abbey disappeared out of sight.

"She sure is something special" I chuckled.

"I have to get to bed," he sighed.

I crouched down and he walked into my arms willingly. I hugged him tightly.

"I love you so much, don't ever doubt that" I whispered and ruffled his hair.

"I love you, too, Dad. Goodnight" he smiled shyly.

"Hey, Tris" I called him back just as he was about to reach the door of the entertainment room. He turned to look at me, waiting patiently for me to finish what I wanted to say. "Would you mind if I woke you up early tomorrow morning?" I asked skeptically.

"I'm not even going to ask why because I know you won't tell me" he laughed. "I'll be waiting, dad" he gave me his permission. He waved as he walked out the door.

I sighed. With Tristan and Abbey's presence gone, my soul felt empty.

I decided to get into the Jacuzzi and since my children went to bed already, and I figured that Bella wouldn't have wanted to see me after my outburst, I took my clothes off then and there – wearing only my boxer briefs. I went around the bar, and grabbed a couple of beers before I headed for the Jacuzzi.

Steam rose from the water and the bubbles made me antsy to get my butt into the water. I climbed in and literally sighed in relaxation as the water bubbled around me. I turned around and opened one of the beers, taking a long sip before I groaned as the taste filled my mouth. I don't drink so much anymore, but I still love beer, especially when it was ice-cold.

I felt relaxed as the hot water soothed my muscles. I closed my eyes for a second, leaning my head against the headrests that was specially designed for the Jacuzzi. Images of Bella straddling me on that piano bench kept playing of in front of me. She had felt so fucking good against my body…too fucking good. Her rejection killed me. Her denial crushed my heart into a million pieces. I remembered her eyes – cold, hard eyes – when she told me that she didn't love me anymore.

A noise at the bar brought me out of my reverie, and when I opened my eyes I saw Bella at the sound system. She hadn't noticed me at all, and I wondered if she even knew I was in here. I gulped. She turned the system on and turned the volume up. I recognized the band immediately as it was one of my favorites; Bullet for my Valentine.

She turned around, wearing a black robe, and started walking towards the Jacuzzi. She froze in her steps when she locked eyes with mine.

"I'm…s-s-orry. I had no idea…" she stuttered. "I mean, I had no idea you were still in here. When I peeked into the room, I saw that it was empty and decided that I wanted to relax in the Jacuzzi" she said.

"You can still relax, Bella, I won't fucking bite you" I said in annoyance. She was acting as if I was had some kind of fucking virus, or a disease.

"I don't think that's such a good idea" she looked away from me.

"Afraid that you'll realize you were spewing shit the other day" I chuckled sarcastically.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"The fact that you lied about your love for me" I cocked an eyebrow at her, challenging her.

She glared at me while she untied her robe. She slipped the robe from her shoulders and the black material dropped to the floor, surrounding her feet. My eyes were locked at her feet, which stepped away from the robe that was covering her feet. My eyes scanned up her endlessly long legs. My eyes bulged out of their sockets when they landed on the midnight blue bikini, covering her most private parts. Fuck! My cock twitched immediately, seeking some much needed attention. Fuck, she was beautiful – curvier from the pregnancies, but still as sexy as ever. Her hips were fuller and her breasts were much bigger, but not too big.

Her hips swayed as she walked to the Jacuzzi, placing one foot onto the step before she swung the other one in. Her ass, fuck me, her ass was as sexy as I remembered it. It made my hands itched to wrap them around her ass cheeks and pull her onto my body.

These days are dead again

It's empty from the start

And it drives me crazy!

The hours drift away

It hurts to remember

(Forever and Always – Bullet for my Valentine)

"I'm going to kill Rosalie" she mutters more to herself than to me. I chuckled softly, thanking Rosalie silently, as I figured that she must've slipped the bikini into Bella's suitcase. Bella, from what I remembered, hated bikinis. Why, I had no fucking idea because she had and still have the most fuck awesome body on this planet. She took my breath away.

"Edward, I'm sorry about earlier" she whispered softly. Her eyes displayed true remorse and I found myself forgiving her instantly. Why was it so easy for me to forgive her, but she had the hardest fucking time to forgive me?

"Don't worry about it. I'm sorry, too. I've said some unforgivable things back there-"

"No, you were absolutely right. I've destroyed our relationship because I was selfish in my own needs. I should have given you time, you know, about the whole marriage-thing. I've ruined your life…and mine" she whispered the last words.

I slowly made my way towards her, and it wasn't until I was standing in front of her that she noticed me. Her eyes locked with mine for a second before she lowered them. A deep gasp escaped her lips when her eyes landed on the tattoo on my chest. Her hand rose slowly out of the warm water and as her fingers connected with my skin, I groaned. Her touch was scorching my flesh, sending fire through my veins and caused my heart to light the fuck up. My eyes slid closed slowly as her fingers traced the swan on my chest.

"When?" she asked simply, her voice trembling a little.

"The day I came out of rehab" I answered hoarsely. I opened my eyes slowly to look at her. Her bottom lip was trapped between her teeth, her cheeks were flushed with the most beautiful pink and her eyes were shiny.

I had a swan tattooed on my chest with a golden chain around its neck that held a golden heart-locket that was locked over the swan's heart. At the swan's feet was a red rose where a key – shaped in a B – was situated in the center of the rose. The B wasn't easily visible unless you really looked closely.

"What does it mean?" she asked, letting go of lip for a second before she pulled it back into her mouth again.

"The swan" my voice was rough so I cleared my throat before I spoke again. "The swan is you, Bella. I wanted something that reminded me of you without putting a name on me. The locked heart represents my heart" I whispered. "Do you see the key?" I asked.

Her fingers traced the tattoo and I watched as she carefully looked for the key. Her fingers traced the rose and when I heard a gasp escape her lips, I knew she found it. She nodded without saying anything.

"The key is shaped into a B – for Bella – and that key is the only key that'll open the locked heart. The red rose represents my love for you and the golden chain around the swan's neck means that my heart is bound to you in every way possible…even though – at the time – I thought you didn't want me, I was yours" I explained.

"But you were engaged to Tanya" she slowly raised her eyes to meet mine.

"Like I told you before, there was a time that I've found that hating you was easier than loving you. My hate blinded me, Bella, and I was so fucking lonely"

"Why did you keep the tattoo?" she asked.

I chuckled without any humor. "There was a time that I actually wanted to remove it-"

"Why didn't you?" she interrupted me. Was that hurt I heard in her voice?

"I think that my heart knew the truth even though my head didn't. My heart always longed for you"

Her eyes were wary and scared, but there was also awe hidden in there.

"Why are you so afraid of me?" I asked sadly.

"Because you make me uncomfortable" she said simply.

"It's because you still love me, Bella"

"No, it's not. Edward, I've told you this before, the only thing I feel when I'm around you is lust. Pure and unadulterated lust" she said, looking straight into my eyes. There was nothing but emptiness inside them. I had known Bella almost all my life, and I could always tell when she was lying or not, but, not anymore. When she had told me that she did not love me – was it not for the way she kissed me – it was very believable. Just like now…her eyes had a weird shine to them and I had a hard time deciphering what the fuck she was hiding behind the fucking emptiness.

"Lust?" I spat. "You want me in your pants, Bella? Is that what you want?" I hissed as I wrapped my fingers around her shoulders – gently so that I wouldn't hurt her. Her eyes widened as I pushed up against her, my hard as fuck dick pushed against her clothed core. I felt her heat rub off on my dick even with the hot water swirling around us.

"If it's lust that draws you so fucking close to me then you wouldn't mind…" I trailed my one hand down her flat stomach while the other one was cupping her ass. "…if I did this" my voice was raspy from the overwhelming passion that built inside of me. I trailed my fingers over the elastic band of her bikini bottom. I hooked my index finger under the band, eliciting goose bumps on her flesh. I looked into her eyes and the lust she was talking about was easily visible as it dilated her brown into golden. "I bet my fucking life that you are already soaking wet, Bella. I remember how a single touch from me could turn your pussy into a flowing river…" I whispered seductively before I lowered my head and started kissing her chest.

I could feel her racing heart pounding against my lips as I kissed her chest. The mewling sounds escaping her lips cheered me on, which led to my tongue trailing along the edge of her bikini top. I dipped my hand into her bikini bottoms, but her hand gripped my wrist.

"No, Edward, this is wrong" she said huskily before she pulled my hand from under her bikini bottom. She moved away from me after she struggled for a few minutes, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Why is it so wrong, Bella? I know you love me, I fucking know it. You can't lie to me" I yelled, throwing my hands into the air before I jabbed them into my hair and tugged hard out of frustration.

"I'm an engaged woman" she spat.

"So, call the fucker and tell him it's over because you and me belong together" I chuckled.

"Can you just fucking stop with all of this shit?" she yelled. "I've had it with the games you're playing, Edward" she yelled. "You say that you love me, right?" she asked and I nodded.

"I'll fucking die for you" I said.

"Well then back the fuck off. If you love me so fucking much then you would stop harassing me, Edward. I've made it clear that I'm an engaged woman and that I don't return your feelings. You say that you want to win my heart back, but all I've seen are you trying to get into my pants. You're such a fucking guy, Edward" she threw her hands into the air.

"Bella," I said slowly, closing my eyes. "I have been nothing but patient and civil towards you. I'm not interested in your pussy, Love, I'm interested in your heart. I can't help but feel aroused and passionate when I'm around you because I fucking love you so damn much. I want to show you just how much I love you" I hissed out.

"I've taken every fucking punch you threw at me, even when I hadn't deserved it, but I'm not your fucking punching bag. I love you dammit; I fucking love you, Bella. Why can't you see that?"

"I do see it, Edward, you're just too late" she said with empty, dull eyes.

"Fuck, Bella, what the fuck happened to you? Where's the caring, loving, forgiving Bella that I love so fucking much? Why are you so cold?" I yelled. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her toward me with so much force that she fell against my chest, pressing her palms flatly against me. She slowly looked up, but before she could say anything, my lips locked with hers. I kissed her, but something felt off. My lips moved around hers and it was then that I realized that Bella wasn't kissing me back. Her lips were held shut and perfectly still. When I finally came to my senses and pulled away from her, she laughed softly.

"Believe me now?" she asked as she climbed out of the Jacuzzi.

"I believe that you're putting on an act, Love" I said with my heart in my throat. Bella have always reacted to my kisses; I was actually kind off worried right now. Maybe her love for me was really dead…my heart bled out at that thought.

"Believe what you want, Edward. You're the father of my son and we'll always have a connection through Tristan, but that's where it stops" she bends to pick her robe up. "The best you can hope for is my friendship" she put the robe on and tied it to the front, "and you're really walking a fine line at that" she spat before she turned to leave.

"If you love Jacob so damn much, why do you keep kissing me back? Why didn't you stop before?" I yelled back, fueled with anger.

She turned back around and her face was red from anger.

"What part of my lips not moving did you not understand, Edward? Yeah, I fucking kissed you before because I still have a physical attraction towards you, but there's no fucking love there. You were always so fucking good in bed" she shrugged, "I guess I will always miss that. No one really knows my body the way you do" she explained without so much as a fucking smile. She had no expression on her face or in her eyes, except for the fury burning in her eyes.

"Bella, no-" I whispered in anguish.

"Yes! Edward, for fuck sakes, I can't do this anymore. You've had your chance ten years ago…" she yelled and held her hands up when I was about to open my mouth. "I know you're fucking sorry…I've heard it all. I've moved on, Edward, maybe you should do the same"

"Never!" I hissed.

"That's your decision. Mine is to marry Jake" she sighed. "I'll never keep you away from Tristan, but I'm this close" she held her index finger and thumb an inch apart, "from pulling myself out of the picture. I can't see you anymore if this happen every time we're in each other's company. Maybe that'll be for the best" she hissed in anger. "I won't cheat on Jake…again"

I chuckled without any humor.

"You're in denial, Love. I know that you love me. Love like ours don't just die or go away-"

"You're right" she settled, "that's why it took me ten years to get to this point. Jake loves me and puts me first in every decision he makes"

"Bella-"

"I'm going to Charlie's tomorrow. You can spend the day with Tristan without any interference from either me or Abbey" she interrupted me.

"Bella, please, if you don't want to be here, fine! But, please let Abbey stay with us. I promise to take good care of her" I swallowed painfully at the thought of Bella taking her with to Charlie's tomorrow. "Please, Bella" I begged.

"Why is Abbey so important to you? She's not your daughter, Edward, you don't have to spend time with her"

"I know that, but I like spending time with her, Bella" I said hurt.

"Okay, she can stay" she sighed.

"Thank you, Bella" I sighed in relief. "I'm sorry about what happened tonight. I give you my word that it won't happen again" I swore. I found myself that I had meant it, too. I wouldn't touch her again unless she wanted me too. Everything she had just said struck a chord and made me feel like a real piece of shit. The fear of losing Bella, again, was enough to cripple me.

"Goodnight, Edward" she said with a stiff nod.

"Night, Bella" I whispered softly as she was already out of the room.

When your chips are down, and your drinks are all gone

I'll still be here, wishing and waiting for you to come home

Kaleidoscope eyes, sparkle at the world

My emerald city, downtown girl

In the sickness of you, I'm just a white blood cell

Fighting like hell for you

(Kaleidoscope Eyes – Panic! At the disco)

"Tristan" I whispered softly as I was lightly shaking his sleeping body. "Tristan, wake up, buddy" I urged again.

His sleeping eyes cracked open with a moan. He stared at me a little disoriented before he closed his eyes again, mumbling something about tired and early. I chuckled and whispered that I wanted to show him something. He flew out of bed at my words and started jumping up and down.

"What? What do you wanna show me?" he jumped up and down.

I laughed softly as I looked at my son. Fuck, I loved him so damn much. He was my whole life…even if I had lost Bella; Tristan would always be by my side and would make life worth living.

"Dad, come on" he complained and stomped his foot, "You're seriously killing me here"

"You have to dress a little warmer, Tris, it's really cold outside and it's still raining" I chuckled at his eagerness when he started going through his clothes and pulled on some warm clothes with snow boots and a really warm coat. I handed him some gloves and a beanie.

"Are we good?" he asked.

"Yeah, we're good" I chuckled.

I took his hand and slowly made our way down the stairs – I showed him to be quiet and not to wake his mom and sister up. I grabbed the basket that I had prepared before I woke Tristan up – filled with a flask of hot chocolate, mugs, muffins, and cookies.

I wanted to show my son the tree house he so eagerly wanted to see last night. I wanted to experience this with him and only him.

My tree house wasn't just any ordinary tree house – Esme never did something plain or ordinary. The tree house was built in a big tree with lots of thick branches. It actually looked like a fucking mansion – Emmett and I had to hold Esme back because she wanted to renovate the inside. We begged her to back off because we weren't pussy's, we were boys who wanted a hideout when we played. We wanted a place where we could hide in when things between Esme and Carlisle became too much.

The only thing we allowed Esme to do in our tree house was to create some sort of music room. Of course, my piano couldn't fit in there, but there was a guitar where Emmett and I had written numerous of good songs.

The tree house had a lookout point at the top of the tree and different kinds of gadgets to get up and down. There was a Tarzan-rope – I wouldn't let Tristan use that one -, a rope than hung down with giants knots a few inches apart that worked almost like a ladder, a rope ladder and a wooden ladder that was nailed to the tree that led to the inside of the tree house.

Bella and I had spent numerous of times in this tree house; at first playing pirates or some army game. But, when we grew older it became a place where we would fool around. This was the place where we tried out most of our sexual stuff. I smiled when I remembered how many times we dry humped in that place. Today it seemed ridiculous that we did that, but back then it was the shit. Dry humping was where it had started and the both of us experienced our very first orgasm. We were fourteen years old and I remembered how it scared the shit out of us. We had no idea what the fuck was happening to our bodies – yes, we were very innocent and so fucking ignorant about sex.

I took it upon myself to learn a little bit more – Bella only had Charlie and there was no fucking way that I would let her ask the Chief of police about sex – so I asked my big brother, Emmett, about sex. After he laughed for an hour, he explained everything to me. That's when Bella and I started experiencing a little more. It took us two years – from the first time we dry humped – to get to the point where we felt that we wanted to give ourselves to one another. We loved each other so fucking much and the first time – which not happened in the tree house – was really something special. It brought tears to my eyes being connected to Bella in such an intimate way.

"Whoa" Tristan exclaimed. "Dad, that's just…wow" he said excitedly as he took the tree house in. I smiled warmly.

"I knew you would, buddy, that's why I brought you here" I chuckled. It was still dark out, but the backyard spot lights lit the yard up and made it look like a sunny day.

As we made our way across the lawn, Tristan's grip on my hand tightened. His excitement was contagious as I felt my own heartbeat accelerate. I haven't been in that tree house for over thirteen years now.

Tristan climbed the wooden steps that led to the inside of the first floor. I struggled climbing with the basket I held in my hands, but I finally made it up. Tristan laughed as I had to walk on my knees – I was just too tall for the tree house.

We climbed some more steps until we reached the top – the lookout point. Esme made sure that the tree house was kept in perfect condition. Every year she would hire someone that would replace the wood and secure the tree house again. Safety came first – always.

We sat down at the lookout point and I unpacked the basket filled with goodies. The steaming hot chocolate went down perfectly as we sat in silence for a few minutes. Tristan was in awe and the expression on his face will stay with me until the day I die. Words were not needed to tell me how he was feeling. His face, eyes and smile told me everything I needed to know.

We had a perfect view of the mountains and the river. It was beautiful, even though it was still drizzling.

"Dad, this is so awesome" Tristan finally said as I filled our mugs with more hot chocolate. He took a chocolate chip muffin.

"It's pretty cool" I agreed with a chuckle.

"I wish I had a tree house, but with us living in an apartment I don't even have a yard" he said sadly.

"I'll tell you what" I bumped his shoulder lightly; "When I buy my house I'll hire someone to build you a tree house just the way you want it. That way, you'll have your own tree house whenever you visit me" I tried to sound excited, but inside I was broken. In less than three weeks Bella would be married to that fucker, Jake, if I wouldn't be able to change her mind. My children would be living with some other guy while I'll get to see them every other weekend. It pissed me off.

"That'll be awesome" he said with a mouthful of chocolate chip muffin. "Would I be able to visit you, though?" he asked. His voice was uncertain.

I chuckled, "You shouldn't speak with your mouth full, buddy" I ruffled his hair.

"Sorry, I'm just so excited" he swallowed before he spoke.

"It's okay, I understand" I smiled. "And, yes, you would be able to come and visit me. Both you and Abbey will come to my house"

"Abbey?" he asked astounded.

"Yes, Abbey, too" I nodded. "I know I'm not her dad, Tris, but she has crawled into my heart and I really love her, too. If it's okay with your mom and you, I'd like to spend some time with her as well" I explained.

"Wow, dad, you are so awesome. Abbey would love that"

"Did you know Abbey's dad?" I asked hesitantly. I wasn't trying to pry; I just wanted to know what he was like and if he treated Bella with respect.

"No, I don't. I remember seeing him once, but it was so long ago that I don't even remember what he looked like. Jake reminds me of him, though. I remember how mom cried night after night. I was only four years old, but the memory of my mother crying still haunts me. I also remember that her stomach got bigger and bigger and when I asked her about it, she told me that there was a baby growing inside. I also remember how Abbey kicked for the first time when I placed my hand on mom's tummy" he answered me with more than I actually thought he would.

"Why was Bella crying so much?" I couldn't help the question that escaped my lips.

"I heard her and Rosie talking 'bout Sam – Abbey's father – and how he hurt mom" he smiled sadly. "I had no idea what they were talking about. Mom still cries a lot, especially when she listens to your CD's. It breaks my heart to hear her cries, dad" he whispered.

I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer to my body.

"I wish I could take all her pain away, Tris. I know that a lot of that hurt was inflicted by me and I'll probably never forgive myself, but if I could go back in time, I would do it in a heartbeat. Letting your mother go was the biggest mistake I've ever made; it not only caused me to lose the love of my life, but also to lose ten years of your life"

"I'm only nine, Dad" he chuckled.

I ruffled his hair again, "I know that, buddy, but I was talking about the time you spent in your mom's tummy, too. I would have loved to have experienced that more than anything on this planet" I chuckled.

"Dad, you should stop hating yourself. I would have loved to have you in my life from the very start, but I've forgiven you. I was angry at first, at both you and mom, but I've come to the realization that I'm only nine years old and that I don't really understand what you guys went through. I know the basics, but the feelings you experienced is unknown. I can't judge either you or mom…although I think the both of you made some silly mistakes" he stated. My eyes widened at his speech; was he really nine years old? My love for my son grew even more and I felt so very proud of him.

"My only wish now is that you and mom will sort through your differences and get back together. But, I think that wish is a bit farfetched. Mom is marrying Jake in a few weeks and honestly, I can't see the light" he sighed as he looked into my eyes, "Sorry, dad" he shrugged.

I pulled him into my arms and hugged him fiercely.

"Don't worry about it, Tris. My only wish – apart from wanting your mom back – is for you to be happy, both you and Abbey. If I have your and Abbey's love, I have the whole world and don't need anything else. You fulfill me, Tristan, more than you know. I love you so much, buddy" I said into his bronze hair.

"I love you, too, Dad. Thank you for bringing me to your tree house and for sharing this with only me" he hugged me tightly, or as tightly as his little arms could.

"It's my pleasure. If I supervise, will you show your sister around? I don't think I'll be able to do this again" I laughed.

He giggled, punching my shoulder lightly. "Sure, sure, old man, I'll show the princess around" he teased.

"Old man, hey?" I widened my eyes and started tickling him. "I'll show you old" I growled teasingly as my fingers tickled his sides.

"Dad, stop…please" he chortled. He writhed and wiggled around as I continued my tickling-spree. "I'm s-s-sorry…you're not an old man..." he surrendered.

"Really? What am I then?" I still tickled him.

"You are the best dad in the whole wide world" he stuttered through laughter.

I laughed along and planted a kiss on his head.

As we made our way down the rope ladder, swinging from side to side, Tristan wanted to know the plans for the rest of the day. I told him that Bella wanted to spend the day with her father but she was leaving him and Abbey in my care for the day. He was ecstatic but a little sad that his mom wouldn't share in our time together.

Tristan was just above me as I climbed first because I was scared he would fall and hurt himself. I took my time climbing down – and just about pissed myself with every step Tristan took because I was afraid that he would fall down – and kept a close eye on my son.

"Since mom won't be here today, can we work on that CD that we wanted to surprise her with?" he asked when we finally made it down.

"Sure. That's actually perfect" I smiled.

We crossed the lawn in silence. Before we reached the door to the entertainment room, Tristan pulled me back and quickly wrapped his arms around me.

"Thanks again, Dad. You really are the best" he said. The emotions were strangling me and the sob that was building was suffocating me.

"It really was a pleasure, well…except for the fact that I had to walk on my knees, since I'm so old and stuff" I heard him snicker.

"But you're still the best old man ever!" he giggled.

"I love you" I smiled.

"Love you more"

"Would you help me make breakfast for the sleeping beauties?" I asked as we entered the kitchen.

"What did you have in mind?" he asked.

"Pancakes and bacon"

"Yessss" he made a fist pump in the air.

I chuckled as I grabbed a skillet and the ingredients for the pancakes. We worked together and I had to say that it was one of the best days of my life. Tristan found the stereo that mom had built into her kitchen – she loved music – and he pressed play. One of mom's old CD's were still in there and when 'I will survive' started playing, both Tristan and I burst out in laughter. Tristan jumped onto the island and started dancing, holding a wooden spoon in front of his mouth and started singing along.

I chuckled when he held the wooden spoon in front of me. I played air-guitar as I sang along.

"What's going on here?" a very disoriented Abbey asked before a yawn escaped her plumpy lips. Fuck, she looked so cute as she stood there in a princess nightgown, her hair took the form of a bird's nest and her eyes were all round and sparkly. Tristan and I chuckled as we took the sight in front of us in.

"Why are you laughing?" she stomped her foot.

I approached her, crouched down and picked her up.

"Morning, Princess. How did you sleep?" I asked as I placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Like a real Princess" she answered. "What are you guys doing?" she asked again.

"Well, we're sort of making you breakfast" I looked around the mess we made; flour on the counter tops and on the floor, flour in Tristan's hair and on his face – I'm pretty sure that I had flour all over as well. "But, we kind of got distracted with singing and playing" I explained. I was a fucking adult and for the first time in years, I felt like a kid again.

"Cool" Abbey clapped her hands, "Can I join you in the band?" she asked.

"Well…I should check with my band-mate over here seeing as we are only a dude-band" I winked at Tristan. "What do you say, dude, should we let this Princess into our band?' I asked.

"Well…"

"Please, Trissy, I'll be the best dude-princess…please, please pretty please" her eyes were all golden with excitement and her cheeks were flushed while waiting for Tristan's answer.

"Okay, I guess we could use one more dude in our band" he shrugged playfully.

I sat her down next to Tristan on the kitchen island and re-started the song. We danced and sang the hell out of that song, laughing and joking. I was in total bliss with my children by my side, but my heart missed one person – Bella. I wished that we could have shared this together.

"One more, please" Abbey pouted when the song ended.

"Princess, I would love to, but we have to finish this breakfast. We need to eat at some point" I chuckled a little out of breath.

I helped Abbey down after she agreed, rubbing her tummy. Tristan jumped down and helped me to clean the kitchen up. I started the pancakes – without making such a mess this time – while Tristan and Abbey set the table. We worked together and my soul was at peace with my family by my side.

I was busy frying the bacon when Bella appeared in the kitchen – already showered and dressed for the day.

"Morning" I smiled.

"Morning" she said softly.

Tristan and Abbey both hugged Bella and started telling her about our morning. Her eyes widened when they told her how they danced on the kitchen island, but seeing how happy they were, her eyes sparkled with happiness. She gave me a thankful look before she turned her attention back to her children. My heart soared at the sight of Bella.

I still couldn't understand how I lived ten years without this woman. I was a complete dick for treating her the way I had, causing me to not only lose her, but led to steering her into someone else's arms. The question on my heart was if I had lost Bella forever? Was there really no love left in her heart for me?

While we had our breakfast, Bella told Tristan and Abbey that she was spending the day with Charlie. They weren't happy and even though Tristan knew about Bella's plans, he tried to convince her to stay. She refused – no surprise there – and explained that she wanted them to have some alone-time with me.

After Bella left, I took them to my music room on the third floor. I wanted to have a picnic in the meadow, but seeing as it was still pouring outside; I decided to cancel that idea. Plus, I really wanted Bella to tag along because that place held some really, really special memories.

We were working on the CD that Abbey wanted to give Bella to help her sleep better and not feel so sad all the time. With Tristan's help, I made a collection of twenty of my songs and recorded them onto a CD. Yes, Esme had our own little recording studio built into our music room. I showed Tristan which buttons to push, and we made an acoustic album for her containing all her favorites – according to Tristan. This took a really long time and before we knew it, the day was gone.

Tristan, Abbey and myself were currently spending the last of the afternoon in the swimming pool. Not only was the swimming pool's water hot, but I also switched the indoor heating system on. I wouldn't want them to get cold and get sick.

We listened to music, had some snacks and danced some more. Sufficed to say, I haven't had that much fun in years. I found myself wanting this for the rest of my life. I wanted them with me forever, but sadly if I couldn't find a way to win back Bella's love, I would have to be happy with a weekend here and there. And I still haven't spoken to Bella about Abbey. I would like for Abbey to join Tristan when they come for weekends. I see Abbey as my daughter, even though we didn't share the same blood, I saw her as mine.

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

(Iris – Goo Goo Dolls)

I just came from dropping my family off. I left with an emptiness I couldn't even begin to describe. My heart and soul stayed behind with Tristan and Abbey.

Bella was distant the entire weekend. I wanted to kick myself for the way I acted Friday night. I have, once again, fucked everything up. If I wasn't so persistent then maybe she would have spent the weekend with us. Sunday morning after breakfast she excused herself and spent the entire morning in the study where she read some books.

Tristan, Abbey and me spent the last morning playing in the tree house. Yes, you know it! I played with my kids in the tree house, even though I had to walk on my damn knees. We played pirates – Tristan being the captain and I was one of his ship-mates. Abbey was the princess who needed to be rescued. Tristan argued that pirates weren't rescuers, but thieves. That's when Abbey decided that she would be one of the ship-mates as well. My life was fulfilled spending time with my children. I couldn't lose them…I had to open Bella's eyes and make her see that she still loved me, I just had to.

As I entered Emmett's house, I heard laughter coming from the backyard. I threw my keys on the kitchen table and made my way to the back of the house. Rose, Emmett and Carlisle were sitting on the porch.

"Hey, bro" Emmett saw me first and gave me a brotherly hug. "How was your weekend?"

"Okay, I guess" I smiled. "Hey, Dad" I took a seat next to my father. "How are you feeling?" I asked.

He smiled, "I'm feeling better, but only because I try to take frequent naps"

"That's good" I said sadly because he still looked like shit. I was worried about him, but more scared than anything else. We had no idea what could happen tomorrow or the day after. It felt like Carlisle's life was a ticking time-bomb just ready to go off. It was a scary situation; both Bella's wedding and my father's illness.

"I take it that your weekend didn't go as you planned?" Dad asked with a saddened smile.

"Nope" I popped the p. "I fucked up, again!" I tugged on my tousled hair.

"What happened?" Rose looked suspicious.

"I tried to kiss Bella Friday night and she threw a temper tantrum, accusing me that I wasn't interested in her heart and that I only wanted to get back into her pants – which is fucking bullshit, just so you know. She spent the entire weekend with Charlie and refused to do anything that involved me. I spent the entire weekend with Abbey and Tristan-"

"Wait, she left Abbey with you?" Rose asked incredibly.

I frown at her, "Why is that so hard to believe?"

"It's just that Bella never leaves her children with anyone…well, except with me and Charlie that is" she explained.

"I'm not just anyone, Rosalie, I'm their father" I argued.

"Hey, Edward, chill. I had no idea you felt that way about Abbey" she held her hands up. "Did you tell this to Bella" she asked.

"No, not yet. We didn't have a chance since she ignored me the entire weekend. Fuck," I jabbed my fingers into my hair and tugged. "I fucked everything up. I was hoping-"

"You hoped that you would wash away ten years of hurt and anguish by a weekend away? You don't know Bella that well, Edward. She's been through fucking hell and it's going to take more than a weekend to win her trust back, let alone her fucking heart" Rose hissed in anger.

"Rosalie, I have three weeks before she marries that fucker. Three fucking weeks, so, yes, I fucking hoped that I would accomplish something this weekend" I yelled.

"Edward, I understand, but you have to go slow. Show her that you love her…not by showing affection but by talking to her like a human being. Listen to her-"

"That's what I've been doing, but she treats me like fucking shit" I sighed.

"Bella has a reason for everything she does. She's probably trying to protect herself" Emmett threw his comment into mine and Rosalie's conversation.

"What? Why would she need protection?" I asked astounded.

"From you, Edward. She wants to protect her heart from you" Emmett said slowly.

"Did she tell you this?" I asked, still astounded.

He shook his head, but I could see that he knew something.

"Fuck, Emmett, if you know something, anything, then please just tell me. I don't have much-" I stop mid-sentence when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I held my index finger up to Emmett and pulled the phone out of my pocket, looking at the screen.

It was Bella's number, fuck, my heart sprinted into overdrive.

"Hello" I answered.

"Dad" Tristan's trembling voice answered back. I heard sniffling sounds and knew he was crying.

"Tris, buddy, what's wrong? What happened?" I asked frantically.

"She's getting married, dad" he was sobbing out loud now. My heart ached to hear my son in so much pain.

"I know that, buddy, but-"

"No, dad, you don't understand" he sniffled harder, "She's marrying him this Wednesday, dad"

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*Hides behind a rock*

Please review and I'll post the next chapter, yes, it's already written. I'm waiting on your responses and then I'll post the chapter. So go on…click the review button and give it to me – throw me with your thoughts and theories on what happens next.

If any of you want an outtake on specific events or from someone else's POV, review and let me know. I have never done outtakes, but if you want I'll do some. Let me know.