Everyone sat at one large, oval-shaped, silver table in the dining room. There was also a 200 pound platinum chandelier that hung from the ceiling. The marble floors and walls gave the room an expensive feel to it. The fine china silverware had Eggman's initials engraved in them. The lighting was fair, not too dark or light. Also the room had no windows. The room was rather narrow and only had room for the table and the chairs. The ceiling had paintings of wedding rings with creepy images of Eggman. There was soft, classical music playing from speakers installed in the ceiling. Knuckles and Cream sat at the opposite ends of the table in royal chairs that were different from everyone else's. The bride and groom also had special buttons on their chairs that would signal the chefs, Billy and Amigo to come in. They awaited the deviled egg appetizers.
Cream: "Well, we did it!" She shouted to Knuckles who sat at the other end of the table.
Knuckles: "I love you!" He shouted back.
Cream: "I love you too!" She replied.
Everyone adored the affection they showed each other, however Big was growing tired of waiting.
Big: "Cream, can you tell Billy to bring the appetizers?" He asked the bride.
Cream pushed her button.
Button: "Billy will be here momentarily, please wait." The machine replied.
Big: "Now that's fancy!" He laughed at the button.
Rouge always had an eye for jewelry, as expected she was drawn to Cream's ring.
Rouge: "So Cream, can you show me your ring girl?" She said as she glared at the jewel.
Cream flashed her treasured ring to everyone by standing up.
Cream: "It's a 24 karat classic. It's made of pure diamond." She bragged.
Rouge in her head: "I don't care what no one says, that damn ring is mines! Damn? Where the hell does Eggman get money to buy that stuff? Oooh! I know, I'll steal it from her when she's asleep!"
Rouge: "That's very nice Cream!" She complimented, never losing her stare of that priced gem.
Amy: "See Sonic, LOOK at how beautiful HER ring is!" She said to Sonic who sat next to her.
Sonic: "I-I-I was just trying to help her out!" He explained.
Amy: "Bullshit!" She said as she crossed her arms.
Sonic: "No I-I mean..." He was cut off.
Amy: "Let's see what everyone else thinks!" She smiled evilly.
Sonic: "No!"
Amy: "Hey everyone, guess what Sonic did right before the wedding ended? He-" she was cut off.
Elise: "Was playing with himself!" She laughed.
The crowd laughed at the hilarious comment.
Sonic: "Used all of his... efforts... to show his love for Amy by offering to buy her a new house..." He shoved the words out of his mouth from the top of his head.
The group applauded the announcement. Cream clapped the loudest.
Sonic was relived.
Amy: "Now that's more like it!" She laughed.
Knuckles: "I think that deserves a toast!" He declared.
Wave: "Well that'd be hard since we DON'T HAVE our drinks yet!" She pointed out. "Hey! Push that button!" She ordered Knuckles.
Knuckles pushed the button.
Button: "Amigo will be here momentarily. Please wait."
-Meanwhile-
Billy: "Dude! Help me with the appetizers! They're pushing those buttons and getting mad!" He struggled with the 100 deviled eggs he had prepared. He stacked them on platters, 10 eggs per dish.
Amigo stood exactly where he was and didn't move at all.
Billy: "Amigo! GET YOUR MONKEY ASS OVER HERE!" He yelled.
Amigo was paying him back for forcing him to get rid of his camel cake. He ignored the boy once again.
Billy: "AMIGO!"
Amigo: "No!" The monkey argued.
Billy: "We are going to lose our jobs! HELP ME NOW!" He pleaded.
Amigo: "Pues, si perdemos nuestros trabajos-" He was cut off. (Well, if we lose our jobs-)
Billy: "Now is not the time for that Spanish shit! You heard what I said in English! Now do what the fuck I SAID!" He ordered.
Amigo wouldn't budge.
Billy: "When I get this dinner done, I SWEAR I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!" He threatened.
Billy lifted two trays of eggs and went to the dining room leaving Amigo alone.
Amigo gathered his eggs together.
Amigo: "Some wedding this will be!" He chuckled to himself.
-Meanwhile-
Espio: "That's the second time those buttons have been pushed! What gives?!" He complained.
Vector: "Well, me and you Charmy can always get the chefs for being late!" He snickered.
Espio: "Ok, when do we strike?"
Vector: "After dinner, we'll hang em'." He joked.
Espio laughed too but had to make sure Vector wasn't serious.
Espio: "We aren't really gonna hang them right?"
Vector shaked his head.
Espio: "No really! Are you serious?"
Vector shaked his head again.
Silver: "Really! You sat me right in front Tails!" He whispered to Blaze.
Blaze: "Well now you two can pretend that you are on a date!" She chuckled.
Tails: "Once again, talk shit about me behind me back!" He said to them.
Nights: "They're being mean to you Tails?" She heard what he said.
Tails: "Oh no, don't worry about this, I got it." He reassured her.
Blaze: "No Tails, we we're just-" She was cut off.
Tails: "Just what?" he said with an attitude.
Silver: "Just discussing... Our surprise for you!" He lied.
Tails: "Really? I love surprises!" He said joyfully. He knew that was a cover up.
Ulala: "What surprise?" She jumped in the conversation.
Blaze: "It's nothing-" She was cut off.
All conversation in the room was interrupted by Billy finally bringing in the appetizers. Everyone stared at those eggs like they were their last meal.
Billy: "Sorry I'm late! Here are the first batch of appetizers!" He apologized with two platters of eggs in his hands.
Everyone watched with much anticipation as he set the eggs in front of Cream.
Cream: "Idk what the fuck y'all getting up for! I'm the bride! I get first dibbs!" She explained.
Everyone watched as Cream put the first deviled egg in her mouth. Sonic fantasized as he watched her eat.
Sonic in his head: "Oh yeah! Put that egg in your mouth!"
Cream: "Damn! Y'all really have to watch me!?" She complained.
No one took their stare away from Cream as she continued to eat. Their stomachs growled louder with each egg she popped in her mouth.
Cream: "Ok. I've had enough eggs, since Big is sitting next to me, he gets the platters next!" She declared as she made the mistake of passing the eggs to Big.
Big couldn't control his hunger and instantly ate all of the remaining eggs! Everyone stared at him with extreme hatred.
Big: (burps) "That was good!" He chuckled.
There is an awkward silence.
Everyone: "DAMN! YOU FAT ASS!" They all yelled at him at the same time.
Big: "Hehe! Sorry!" The fat cat apologized.
Amy: "Cream! Kick his ass out!" She ordered.
Billy: "Don't worry, I've got 8 more egg dishes in the kitchen!" He reassured them and left the room.
Everyone was relived.
Wave: "Hurry the fuck up with the rest!" She threatened Billy. "Or I'm gonna bust a cap in-"
Shadow A.: "Please refrain from using such bad language!" He cut Wave off.
Wave: "Nigga please, I'll say whatever the hell I wanna say!" She fired back.
Shadow A.: "But it is NOT POLITE to use those words at a wedding reception!"
Wave: "Jet, hold my weave!" She rose up. "I'm about to bust a cap in this Nigga ass!"
Jet: "You don't wear a weave!" He chuckled.
Wave ignored Jet and stared at the Shadow Android while making fists.
Cream: "Please Wave, just let it go." She asked.
Wave: "So you just gonna let this motherfucker tell me what's what?"
Shadow A.: "Please, I just don't do well with confrontation!" He pleaded.
Wave: "Please, put em' up Nigga!" She yelled.
Just then the Shadow Android got a text from Eggman.
Eggman: "Come back to the ceremony room ASAP. There is a meeting."
Cream: "Wave! Stop!" She yelled.
Wave was about to land a punch when she was interrupted.
Shadow A.: "Sorry to leave, but I have to... Use the facilities! Please forgive me Cream." He said as he rose from his seat and left out of the room.
Wave: "Pussy!" She insulted him as he left.
Cream: "Wave! That's enough!" She yelled.
Wave: "Girl, don't get mad at me! I'm just sticking up for myself." She explained. "Shoot, you should be glad to see another sister sticking up for herself against a man!"
Amy: "I know that's right!" She smiled as she gave Wave a high-five.
Cream: "Well this is my wedding, and if there is anymore fights involving ANYONE then they will be kicked out." She announced.
Alex Kidd: "I know you heard that Amy!" He chuckled. "I mean, with a mouth sore like that, I think you need medical attention."
Everyone glared at Amy's mouth sore.
Tikal: "Oh Amy! What happened?" She asked concerned.
Reala: "Yeah, looks like you were abused!" He added. "Your man been beating on you?" He asked.
Knuckles shrugged and looked the other way.
Amy in her head: "Oh shit! That damn Alex Kidd just had to run his big fat mouth! Well I gotta cover this up somehow, think Amy, think."
Amy: "Oh it's nothing, I just... Got hit by a chair when I was... On the floor looking for Cheese!" She lied. "I mean, those steel chairs can really make a mark can't they..." she fake laughed.
Alex Kidd: "Wow, that's funny considering that Jet, Wave, Storm, and I noticed it when you walked down the aisle." He countered.
Amy in her head: "Shit!"
-Meanwhile-
Recommend song: Sonic Heroes: Mystic Mansion
Eggman and both Shadows were in the ceremony room still.
Eggman: "What took you so long Android?"
Android: "Sorry master, I almost got into a fight with one of the guests." He explained.
Eggman: "Android! You are supposed to be nice! Does Cream even think you're friendly?" He yelled at the robot.
Android: "I tried my best to avoid all forms of violence. It appears that I was targeted by her."
Eggman: "Well, I've called both of you here to review a few things."
Shadow: "Get on with it!"
Eggman: "Why did you let Cheese go? I thought I would get to save a few dollars if this wedding was cancelled.
Shadow: "He threatened me-" He was cut off.
Eggman: "You let a little MOTHERFUCKING Chao get the best of you! Why I outta..." He scorned Shadow.
Shadow: "Sorry, it won't happen again." He apologized.
Eggman: "Anyways... I know that some of the guests will want to stay back at the hotel, so I'm counting on YOU TWO to stop them at all costs! I have the space for them, but I can't afford another 20 motherfuckers in that hotel!" He explained.
Android: "I have a question, master, do you plan to eliminate all of the guests as well as the original targets?"
Eggman: "Why... Actually yes... Now that I think about it, I'd be much more evil if I killed all of SEGA's main characters..." He said. "Change of plans, I think I will allow some of the guests in the hotel to promote them to stay instead of going home. But you two have to be the gate-keepers and report to me who is entering the building."
Shadow: "Ok, sure doctor..." He agreed fakely.
Android: "You wish is my command!"
Eggman: "Another thing, no one knows that there are two of you, RIGHT!"
Shadow: "Of course not!" He lied.
Android: "Why never." he told the truth.
Eggman: "Ok, now that that is out of the way. I wanted to show you my blueprints in the animal crematorium."
Eggman layed a large map of the crematorium on a table before the hedgehogs.
Eggman: (Pointing to a section of the map) "This is where they will enter. As you can see, it has exit signs to fool them into thinking that they are leaving. The door will lead them into what looks like outside, but is really just an outside simulation. They will think that you are leading them to safety." He glanced at the Android.
Android in his head: "So, I'll lead them that way! That will ensure that everyone is safe!" He thought as he smirked.
Eggman: "You got that!?" Android nodded. "Ok, now continue through until you step on a tree stump. There is a switch that will swallow the ground right before their feet. It will be dark so they will not even see it coming. Make sure you jump fast enough, or you will fall in too!" He cautioned. "They will fall right into the crematorium and land on a conveyer belt-" he was cut off.
Shadow: "Question! What if some of them try to fly back up?!"
Eggman: "Hehe, good question Shadow, that's why you will push the stump button again to reseal the ground!" He chuckled evilly.
Shadow: "Damn! You are one evil motherfucker!" He smiled.
Android: "Please proceed." He asked Eggman.
Eggman: "Ahem; then the conveyer belt will lead them into a lava filled room. But they won't be burned, not yet anyway. They will start to panic and run back on the conveyer belt, that's when I will increase the speed on it. Once they realize that they have no choice, I will lower the carbon monoxide gas to slow them down. They will then be shot each by me with an AK-47. When most of them are dead, I will bring out the giant metal blades that will slice all of their heads off, but leave them still on top of the bodies. At that point, all of them should be dead."
Android: "Whoa!" He exclaimed.
Eggman: "Then they will be filtered into the crematorium truck, because who wants a bunch of animal blood all over? The truck, driven by one of my robots will bring to the the top of the burning pit; which is sort of like a volcano, where I will take out and drop each body part and organ in these burning depths of hell one by one by hand and watch the ashes burn with gratitude. Including the brains and all intestines. Android, I want you to record that segement, as I will treasure it for the rest of my life."
Both animals look at the doctor like he is crazy.
-Meanwhile-
Amy was relived to not be the subject because Billy has come back with more appetizers to steal everyone's attention.
Knuckles: "Hey, get some of those over here!" He yelled.
Billy immediately rushed over to the groom's side of the table.
Knuckles took a handful of deviled eggs and the passed the platters to the two people sitting next to him, Elise and Blaze.
Elise: "Ewww, these things smell like shit! I don't want any!" She said as she passed them to Tails.
Jet: "Oh so now you too good to eat deviled eggs?" He responded.
Elise: "I think I have a right to eat what I want!" She stormed at him.
Jet: "Booshie ass!" He insulted her.
Tikal: "Really Jet? I don't think you'd like it if someone told you what to eat!" She defended Elise.
Elise: "I know right! Sometimes you just have to ignore ignorant people!"
Jet: "You also have to ignore motherfuckers who think that they are better than every one else."
Elise: "Don't hate me cause I'm classy!" She said with pride.
Tikal: "Yeah, don't hate her cause you ain't her!" She smirked.
Jet: "You think that just because you're some upper-class bitch that you can spit on the rest of us! Well, I'm here to tell you that you ain't shit!" He replied.
Tikal: "Well I'd rather be classy than trashy!"
Nights: "I'm gonna have to agree with Jet on this one, I mean you've been trashing Cream and Knuckles since they walked down the aisle!" She came to Jet's aid.
Jet: "At least someone's got sense around here!" He said to Nights.
Cream: "Oh really?" She glared at the princess.
Now it was Elise's turn to be roasted.
Elise: "Well I mean sorry Cream, but the dress is a bit large on you. You look like a first grader in that." She laughed. "But don't get mad at me, that's just my opinion."
Half of the table laughed at Elise's comment. Cream thought about what to say.
Cream: "I'm not going to kick you out of my wedding because you insult me. Hell, I let Amy in it!" She explained. "Instead, since you want to talk shit about others, we'll talk shit about you!" She announced.
Jet: "Now that's what I'm talking about!" He yelled. "Everyone, I'm Princess Elise and think I'm better than the rest of these motherfuckers because I have a "royal" ass!" He imitated Elise.
Everyone laughed at his remark. Cream even gave him a standing ovation. Elise began to get angry.
Elise: "Everyone I'm Motherfucker Jet" She pretended that was his full name. "And I'm thee shit because I have a green dick!" She countered.
Tikal: "I ain't eating that pickle!" She added.
Everyone laughed even more at her remark. Tikal even gave her a standing ovation. Jet started to get mad.
Jet: "Well yo mama so old that when she breastfeed it comes out like this!" He said while blowing out white powder.
All the guys laughed at the joke. Of course, Elsie had to get him back.
Elise: "Yo mama so fat that her ear rings are car rims."
All the girls and guys laughed at this joke. Jet was trying to come back at her.
Jet: "Yo mama so... She so..." He was cut off.
Storm: "Yo mama so ugly that even Shrek wouldn't bone her!" He saved Jet.
This joke got the most laughter. Elise couldn't get another joke out.
Elise: "Yo mama so..." She was cut off.
Jet: "Save it! You're done!"
Elise tried to think but she knew she was done.
Elise: "Can I be excused?" She asked Cream.
Cream: "Not so funny when you're the ass of the joke is it?" She taunted. "Yeah, get out."
Elise left the room.
Jet: "That outta teach that royal pain-in-the-ass!" he declared.
Cream: "I'll say, you really turned that Barbie into Barbecue!" She complimented Jet.
Everyone laughed.
-Meanwhile-
Billy had returned to the kitchen with more appetizer platters to get.
Billy: "I hope you can run fast as hell because when I get done with these appetizers, you gotta serve the main course! And I'm not helping your ass either!" He threatened the angry monkey.
Amigo glanced Billy, he had a point.
Amigo: "Ok!" He said while walking to Billy. "Amigo will help Billy!"
Billy: "Nope, I serve what I made and you serve what you made!" He declined.
Amigo: "But!" He complained.
Billy: "You should have helped me when I asked! Now get the fuck out of my way!" He scorned Amigo while pushing him out of the way.
Amigo stole one of the egg platters that Billy was carrying to get back at him.
Billy: "DO NOT START THIS SHIT! I WILL FUCK YOU UP RIGHT NOW!" He said while dropping the other platter he was carrying.
Amigo taunted him by making monkey noises and sticking his tongue out on top of a table.
Billy had had enough of him.
-Meanwhile-
On the way to the bathroom to cry her eyes out, Elise happened to stumble past the ceremony room.
Elise: "Dr. Eggman?" She was shocked. "What the hell!? 2 Shadows?"
She decided to put her head to the wall where she couldn't be seen.
Android: "You-you want me to record some shit like that?!" He complained.
Eggman: "You're damn right I do! If someone had fucked up all of your plans for all those years you'd want to do the same." He explained.
Shadow: "Sorry, but damn man! I mean, even I have more heart than that!"
Eggman: "Hmmmm, I guess I'll kill you right here and now then!" He threatened.
Shadow: "Bring it bastard! I love a good match!" He challenged.
Android: "Stop! You two are getting distracted! We need to focus!" He yelled.
Eggman and Shadow got out of their fighting poses.
Eggman: "Well I guess he's right..." He said with a sigh.
Shadow: "What the heck did you build him with? He's too nice and shit!" He asked.
Eggman: "Well, it takes a real heart to build a "polite" machine.
Android: "You'd know that if you weren't so-" He was cut off.
Eggman: (ignoring them) "Well, remember we kill them at-" He was cut off by a noise.
Just then Elise's cellphone went off.
Elise: "Shit!" she said as she tucked her phone away.
Android: "I sense someone..."
Eggman: "That noise came from over there!" He yelled while running over.
Elise got up and instantly started running. Unfortunately, one of her shoes came off.
Shadow: "It's a girl!" He said while picking up her high heel shoe.
Android: "You know, that's not guaranteed, I mean-" He was cut off.
Eggman: "Damn! I guess the bitch got away... Shadow, I mean Android, you go back to the dinner room and find out who it was. Shadow and I have to hide because they will wonder where I went and suspect that I'm tricking them. Don't mention me! We'll be searching the rest of the chapel for the culprit." He commanded.
Shadow and the Android obeyed their creator.
-Meanwhile-
Cheese was remembering his Chao-napping. He began to twitch at even the thought of it.
Knuckles: "Cheese? You ok?" He asked the blue balloon shaped animal sitting in the middle of the table.
Cheese took a deep breath.
Cream: "Oh yeah, how's my baby?!" She asked.
Cheese doesn't answer for a minute.
Cream: "Ch-" She was cut off.
Cheese: "NO! DO YOU THINK I'M FUCKING OK!? I WAS CHAO-NAPPED 2 HOURS AGO AND NERALY LOST MY LIFE! BUT OF COURSE ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS DO IS TALK SHIT ABOUT EACH OTHER INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON A REAL ISSUE!" The boy yelled at the top of his lungs.
Suddenly Cheese remembered what Shadow said, it echoed in his head over and over again. Now he knew he had to some how take back what he just said.
Knuckles: "Who Chao-napped you?"
Cream: "I'm-I'm sorry baby! I just got caught up in-"
Rouge: "Who would do such a thing to a little cute Chao like you?"
Aiai: "See Cream! And you blamed us!" He taunted at Cream.
Cream: "Look here orangoutang ass! I was in a bad mood and that was just rage taking over me! I never meant to -" She was cut off.
Mimi: "Save it for the judge!" She interrupted Cream.
Cream: "Oh no she didn't-" She cut off again.
Aiai: "Yeah, we've filed a law suit against you!"
Cream: "Yeah right." She knew that wasn't true. "Like a lawyer is gonna defend a bunch of stupid ass monkies!"
GonGon: "I hope you have $2.5 million on you." He threatened.
Cream: "Oh, so now yelling at someone is illegal!?"
Mimi: "Kidnapping is a serious crime, if he didn't pop up at the last minute and had your wedding been canceled, then you definitely would have chewed our heads off and took us to court for something we didn't even do." She explained.
Aiai: "Therefore, we have the right to sue for emotional distress and potential false imprisonment."
Cream: "Says who? And last time I check, potential false imprisonment is not a crime."
GonGon: "Should I tell her?" He looked at Mimi and Aiai.
Mimi: "Nope, she'll find out later, anyways let the kid speak." She answered.
Cheese: "No, never mind! Pay no attention to what I just said!" He tried to cover up what he said.
Knuckles: "Now Cheese it's not polite to lie, now could you please tell us who kidnapped you?" He said calmly.
Cheese: "Why haven't the next batch of appetizers come yet?" He tried to change the subject.
Beat: "Dude, it's ok, I mean I was kidnapped before too."
Gum: "Really?" She was in disbelief.
Beat: "Ummmm, yeah." He thought of a lie. "But I don't remember it at all though."
Gum: "Funny, you remember that you were kidnapped but don't remember any of it."
Beat: "But what I remember is that I can't remember the time that I remembered that I was kidnapped because I can't remember it." His said like a tongue twister.
Gum: "How do you not remember the time that you can't remember that you claim you remembered that you were kidnapped?" She said confused.
Beat: "Because, if I couldn't remember it, then I can't clearly remember the time that I remembered when I was kidnapped. Only certain kids can remember the time they were kidnapped only if they were old enough to remember."
Gum: "How old were you when you were kidnapped? Better yet, how old were you when you remembered the time in which you were able to remember that you were kidnapped?"
Beat: "I don't remember how I was cause I was unable to remember the time when I remember I was kidnapped." He explain.
The others were now lost in their conversation.
Gum: "Bullshit! Because All kids trust me would be able to remember the time-" She was cut off.
Amy: "I bet you'll remember the time I kick your ass!" She taunted them.
Everyone laughed at her joke. Cheese was happy that the heat was taken off of him.
Beat: "But it's not my fault I can't remember the time that I remembered that I was kidnapped!" He explained.
Sonic: "Knowing Beat, he probably wouldn't remember!"
Beat: "Remembering things is hard for me! It's like I can never remember-"
Everyone sighed.
Cream: "Ok everyone remember, the NEXT MOTHERFUCKER TO SAY THE WORD "REMEMBER" WILL BE KICKED OUT OF THE WEDDING RIGHT NOW!" She yelled. "Now Cheese, please tell us who chao-napped you?"
Cheese had the perfect answer.
Cheese: "Sorry, I don't REMEMBER!" He said with a laugh.
-Meanwhile-
Elise had no where to go, so she decided to go to the kitchen. She witnessed a chase scene between the chefs. She decided to put on one of the chef's outfits hanging on a wall near her. She also took her crown off for a chef's hat.
Billy: "I'M GONNA GIVE YOU 2 SECONDS TO PUT THAT EGG DISH DOWN!" He threatened Amigo.
Amigo: "Pues, que el joda vas a hacer?" He taunted. (Well, what the fuck are you gonna do?)
Billy began to charge at the monkey when he was interrupted.
Elise: "Excuse me, but if this is how the kitchen is operated, I have no choice but to get both of you fired." She threatened as if she was a food inspector.
Billy stopped dead in his tracks. Amigo did the same. They actually thought she was a food inspector.
Billy: "Oh please Mrs. Food Inspector! It was his fault, get him fired!" He blamed Amigo.
Amigo: "Ay, por favor señora inspectora de comida! Es su falta, hizo el perder su trabajo!" He blamed Billy. (Oh please Mrs. Food Inspector! It was his fault, make him lose his job!)
Elise: "I'm sorry, I don't speak Spanish." Billy stuck his tongue at Amigo. "But don't get happy Billy because I still have to let both of you go." She said coldly.
Billy and Amigo got on their hands and knees.
Billy: "Please! I have a family to support!" He began to fake cry. "I'll do anything! Anything!" He lied and pleaded.
Amigo: "Amigo too!" He pleaded and lied as well.
Elise in her head: "Damn! I didn't think I'd get this far! I should make them suck my... Hahahah! Elise you're a bad girl! Hmmm, I guess I'll just help them out, I mean this wedding has enough problems as is. But first I gotta have fun!"
Elise: "Nope, go pack your bags!" She ordered.
The egg boy and monkey were now crying for real this time.
Billy: "Please!" He was still begging.
Amigo: "Por favor!" He was sobbing. (Please!)
Elise: "Well..." She was cut off.
Billy: "I'll do it!" He didn't even know what she asking.
Elise: "I was gonna say, well I hope this job was fun for you two!" She laughed evilly.
Amigo: "No!"
Billy: "PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEASE!? Can we have another chance?"
Elise: "You boys are so cute when you're begging!" She laughed. "Now get up! I'm gonna help you get these appetizers out!"
Both boys rose up super quick.
Billy: "Yes ma'am!"
Amigo: "Si, señorita!" (Yes ma'am!)
Elise: "But you can't tell ANYONE that I'm a food inspector ok? Then I'll have no choice but to fire both you then!" She reminded them. "For now I'm in charge! Billy, Amigo, get the rest of those appetizers ready right fucking now!" She commanded.
Both chefs listened to her every word like she was a goddess of some sort.
-Meanwhile-
Cream: "Ok Cheese! Since you want to be a smart-ass, I don't give a fuck what happened to you! You deserved it! Now get the fuck out!" She yelled at Cheese.
Cheese in his head: "Sweet Jesus!"
Cheese: "Aww, but I can't remember-"
Cream: "I SAID-" She cut him off.
Cheese: "Ok, chill out bitch!" He insulted her as he walked out.
Cream: "Oooooh! You wait until we get home-" She was cut off.
The Shadow Android has re-joined the dinner.
Rouge: "Well, where the hell have you been?" She questioned him.
Android: "Ummm, please refrain from us-"
Cream: "Using that language in a wedding setting!" She finished his sentence for him. "Yeah motherfucker we know what you're going to say, and where we're you? It has never taken anyone that long in a bathroom! Unless of course you were..." She laughed.
Android: "Bit-" He was cut off by himself.
Everyone gasped at was going to come out of his mouth.
Android in his head: "Oh my god! I almost cursed! I guess it's in my blood; I better save myself..."
Android: "What?! I was just gonna say, bitter, is the taste of those devil eggs I bet!" He said with a laugh.
Big: "Even Froggy knows that that is bullshit!"
Everyone laughed at the fat man.
Android in his head: "Even Froggy knows that your fat ass ate all of his frog food!"
The robot ignored his comment as if it didn't happen. Billy and Amigo had came with 4 more platters of deviled eggs.
Billy: "Ok, these are the last of the appetizers!" He announced as he passed the dishes to the only guests who hadn't had any yet.
Everyone munched on the eggs, all except Tails and Silver who still hadn't had any yet.
Big: "Last one! IT'S MINES!" He yelled while racing to get it.
Tails: "Sorry Big, but I haven't had any yet, so I think that "I" should get it!" He defended himself.
Big: "Bullshit! I deserve to have it!" He cursed.
Cream: "You do want to live to eat the cake right Big?" She asked.
Big: "HELL YEAH!" He screamed.
Cream: "And you've already had more than 20 appetizers right?"
Big: "Yeah..." He looked down.
Cream: "So... SIT YOUR FAT ASS DOWN AND LET SOMEONE ELSE EAT YOU FUCKING FAT ASS!" She yelled.
Big felt bad and put his hands over his eyes.
Cream: "Have a nice day Big!" She finished.
Everyone laughed at her.
Tails: "Now, before I was rudely interrupted-"
Silver: "Ahem! Excuse me, but I never got any either, so move aside you two tailed freak!" He insulted Tails as he scooted the egg dish towards him.
Blaze: "Gee I wonder who should get it more?" She said sarcastically.
Tails: "Well I should, since I was actually IN the wedding!" He scooted the egg dish closer to him.
Silver: "Well I payed good money to attend this wedding, so I'll be damned before I miss out on the appetizers!" He scooted the dish back.
Tails: "Cream," He looked to her. "Knuckles" He glanced at him. "This is YOUR wedding, so please tell him to fuck off!" He ordered.
Cream and Knuckles didn't say anything.
Cream in her head: "You really think I'm helping your ass out! The one who's trying to steal MY man?! You know the mental institution isn't far from here..."
Knuckles in his head: "Sorry, but I don't love you anymore Tails... Now if only I could say that..."
Tails: "Oh so really? You guys won't help me?" He scorned them.
Silver: "And they have GOOD reason not to!" He shoved the dish back to him.
Tails: "Dude! Give me the egg!" He demanded.
Silver: "Why?"
Tails: "Because I FUCKING SAID SO!" He yelled at Silver.
Silver: "Make me!" He said as he put his hands on the appetizer.
Tails reached over the table and also put his hands on the egg as well.
Blaze in her head: "Oh I see what they're doing! That's a creative way to hold hands! But seriously, they should just split it..."
Silver in his head: "Well, at least I got to hold his hand. It's so soft! But this egg is mines god damn it!"
Tails in his head: "So this is what his hands feel like... I wish we could argue over this stupid egg forever..."
Silver: "Fuck off!" He said trying to make Tails lose his grip.
Tails: "Gimmie!" He struggled to grip the egg.
Blaze: "How about you guys just split it down the middle?" She suggested.
Silver and Tails ignored her and continued to argue childishly over the deviled egg.
Silver: "Dude!" He yelled while fighting over the egg.
Tails: "It's mines!" He demanded.
Silver pushed Tails' hand off egg and began to put it in his mouth.
Tails: "Nooo!" He yelled.
Silver put half of the egg in his mouth, but Tails wasn't having it.
Tails jumped over the table and bit the other half of the egg that wasn't in Silver's mouth. Their lips touched. Half the egg went in Tails' mouth, the other in Silver's.
Tails in his head: "Oh my fucking god! I can't believe I did that shit! Way to go Tails, now he'll never talk to you again! But he had the softest lips EVER... I regret it but then I don't... Well it doesn't matter, at least Knuckles still loves me..."
Silver in his head: "Oh my fucking god! I can't believe he did that shit! I'm definitely adding good kisser to his resume! I care about what others say, but I have needs too! What's a boy to do? Maybe this is a sign... Damn Blaze, you see what happens when you sit two-" His thoughts were cut short.
Everyone stared in disgust at Tails and Silver.
Pudding: "Damn, Tails is it that serious? I mean it's just a damn egg!" She scorned him.
Espio: "You basically took it out of his mouth with your mouth!" He said disgusted.
Tails looked emberassed. Silver ran to the bathroom to "pretend" he didn't like it.
Tails: "Well I mean, those are some good eggs..." He was cut off.
Amy: "I don't give a damn how good a food is, you don't-"
Big: "Look, I'm sure he didn't mean to do it." He defended Tails. "Imagine if someone else was eating the last of your favorite food? Wouldn't you try anything to get it from them?"
No one responds for 2 minutes. They all look sick to their stomachs until the silence is broken.
Ulala: "Funny, someone your size would say that!" She teased.
Reala: "Either way you slice it, that's nasty shit..." He said. "I mean who wants someone else... Ewww, I can't even say it..."
Blaze in her head: "He knew he liked it! Why can't he just be man enough to admit it... Boy oh boy..."
Tails looked down at his empty plate with shame, it was now his turned to be fried.
Tails in his head: "So what if I kissed him in the process of taking the egg? That's my life and I don't give a fuck what any of you motherfuckers think about it ok?"
Rouge: "I think you should make him leave Cream, I mean, he made everyone sick!" She suggested.
Tails was already feeling depressed as is, he began to rise from his chair.
Knuckles knew he loved Cream, but still had 18% of feelings left for Tails. He knew he had to fight to keep him there. The best way would be to change the subject.
Knuckles: "Rouge, that's not fair considering he didn't say the r-word." He defended Tails.
Cream in her head: "Now's my chance to get his ass out of MY wedding! Knuckles will be mine once and for all! But then again, I already kicked Elise and Cheese out... I mean damn, I gotta have someone at my wedding. Oooh! I know! I'll crush his heart later when I have Knuckles tell him the truth! Besides, I like a little competiton..."
Cream: "Damn, I need to have some people here don't I? Tails, don't you move a muscle!" She said with a smile.
Tails actually wanted to find Silver, but now he had to stay or else everyone'd get suspicious. He was shocked she let him stay.
Tails: "Why, thank you, it'd be my pleasure..." He said with a fake smile.
-Meanwhile-
Cheese was looking at himself in the bathroom mirror. He began to talk to himself.
Cheese: "(sighs) One day I have to tell them..." He said with a sob. "I mean you can't hold a secret for ever... This should never happen to anyone my age!" He yelled at himself.
Silver came into the bathroom. He heard the Chao yelling.
Silver: "Awww, what's wrong little guy?" He tried to comfort him.
Cheese: "Don't talk to me!" He snapped at him.
Silver was shocked at his answer.
Silver: "Ok. That's fine I guess." He said sadly while looking at his reflection in another reason.
5 minutes go by with no interaction between them.
Cheese in his head: "What am I doing? What do I have to lose? It's obvious he wants to help."
Cheese: "Silver?" He turned his head.
Silver: "Yes." He said, it was clear that her been crying.
Cheese: "Have you ever been kidnapped?"
Silver: "No..."
Cheese: "Well, could you listen to me?" He pleaded.
Silver: "Sure, anything for a friend..." He replied.
Cheese: "Listen, don't tell anyone, but Shadow is the one who kidnapped me."
Silver took a minute to process his words.
Silver: "Don't worry, I've got bigger problems, your secret is safe with me."
Cheese had a big smile on his face.
Cheese: "Thank you. At least I can talk to someone... Hey why are you sad? I mean I was kidnapped and I'm smiling."
Silver: "Better kidnapped than gay..." He said sadly.
Cheese couldn't bieleve what he heard.
Cheese: "Oh..." He was stunded.
Silver: "Some days I wish I could die rather than be gay... I mean, your quality of life is so bad that death doesn't sound like the worst after a while..." He explained.
Cheese: "Well, it's ok-" He was cut off.
Silver: "NO IT'S NOT!" he began to tear up. "NO ONE LOOKS AT YOU THE SAME ANYMORE! BASICALLY LIFE IS HELL!" He yelled as tears filled his face.
Cheese is super shocked at the hedeghog's actions, he tries to make him feel better. He starts to feel bad for him.
Cheese: "Silver-"
Silver: "CHEESE! I AM MISERABLE IN THIS LIFE! I CAN'T EVEN SHOW WHO I LOVE TO ANYONE! YOU'VE NEVER FELT THAT PAIN BEFORE SO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" He yelled while grabbing a knife from his pocket.
Cheese: "P-p-put that down!" He was scared that Silver would use it on him.
Silver: "Really Cheese? You really think I would do such a thing to you?"
Cheese: "Well, you scared me.."
Silver: "YOU'RE LUCKY! YOU'RE THE STRAIGHT ONE! YOU'RE GONNA FIND A BEAUTIFUL GIRL SOMEDAY AND HAVE A GREAT LIFE!" He held the knife right side up.
Cheese in his head: "Once again, the festivities of national "Kill Cheese Day" continue! Ok, I'm sick of fighting for my life, this is it."
Silver: "YOU DESERVE TO LIVE!" Cheese looked confused. "I WISH I COULD BE LIKE YOU SOMEDAY... BUT NO, STUPID ASS SILVER JUST HAD TO BE GAY!" He screamed bringing the knife to his chin.
Cheese knew Silver was going to kill himself.
Cheese: "Silver stop!-"
Silver: "NO, IF I'M NOT HAPPY WITH THIS LIFE THEN I'D RATHER DIE! LIKE I SAID, YOU'LL HAVE A GREAT LIFE AND I WILL HAVE A FUCKED UP ONE! THEREFORE I DESERVE TO DIE!" He brought the knife closer to his neck.
Cheese: "SILVER-!" He was cut off.
-Meanwhile-
Elise and the boys finally get the main course underway.
Elise: "Now amigo you start the entrées!" She ordered the monkey.
Amigo followed her instructions instantly to avoid "losing his job". He grabbed two plates of paella and went out of the room.
Billy: "Well, what the hell could I do?" He questioned Elise.
Elise now had her chance.
Elise: "Lock the door." She ordered.
Billy: "For what?" He looked at her strange.
Elise: "Just do it or you're fired!"
Billy shut the door but pretended to lock it, he wasn't sure to trust Elise.
Elise dropped her pants to ground as soon as she held him shut the door.
Billy was shocked as hell.
Billy: "WHAT THE FUCK!?" He looked at her throbbing pussy.
Elise: "You are an egg hatcher right?" She joked while looking at him while fingering herself.
Billy: "YOU AIN'T NO MOTHERFUCKING FOOD INSPECTOR! YOU A HOE!" The boys exclaimed.
Elise tried to pursue the boy.
Elise: "Look, I am a food inspector, but I'm lonely and need you to hatch my eggs if you know what I mean." She asked with a sexy smirk.
Billy now knew what was gonna happen. He didn't say anything as she masturbated on top of the counter top. He had a family at home but his wife was giving him problems. He had a decision to make.
Elise: "Oh come on! I'm ovulating!" She begged like a whore.
Billy: " You do know I'm married right? And not really to you!" The boy fired.
Elise: "Wife's never stopped me before! Come on, you can't pass this up! I'm a fucking princess!"
Billy continued to watch the woman. He began to get turned on.
Elise: "Please Billy, just do this, for me!" She begged.
Billy hesitated.
Elise: "Dude my pussy's already busted! What ya wanting for?"
Billy had made up his mind.
Elise: "BILLY!?"
Billy took a step closer and grabbed a wooden spoon.
-Meanwhile-
There is a long silence in the dining room. It seemed like everyone was either tired of everyone else or just felt the need to check their cellphones.
Sonic on his phone: "Umm excuse me, can I ask why the hell you ain't texting me?" He texted to Cream.
Cream: "Sorry it's just... I was so damn busy lol." She couldn't bare tell him how she felt yet.
Sonic: "It's ok babe. Well u are coming back to my room 2nite?"
Cream tried to think of any excuse or lie to cover this one up. Knuckles starts texting her as well.
Knuckles: "Baby, so we gonna "do it" tonight?" He texted.
Cream felt like panicking. She decided to seek help.
Cream: "Tikal, what should I do, knuckles and sonic both want me to spend the night with them tonight... I really love Knuckles now, but I don't wanna break Sonic's heart rn... Any advice?" She typed.
Tikal: "WTH!? You're playing with fire girl..."
Cream: "Wow that makes me feel ALOT better! Not :("
Tikal: "Sorry but u deserve whatever happens to u. U need to pick one guy and kick the other one to the curb!" She demanded.
Cream: "Well..."
Tikal: "Or u could fuck both of them and become a hoe! There's always that option in every situation! Lmfao!"
Cream: "Hmmmm..."
Tikal: "WTF! UR ACTUALLY CONSIDERING THAT!? 0.o"
Cream: "Fuck off!"
Tikal: "Ok, how about I just announce ur business to everyone sitting here!?" She threatened.
Cream: "You wouldn't do that, are u supposed to be a Christian anyway? Christians don't stir up trouble!"
Tikal: "I'm not stirring anything up, ur bringing all this on yourself! It is my job as a Christian to report infidelity!"
Cream: "Look just leave me alone! I'll make my own decisions!"
Tikal: "Coming from the one that asked me for advice! I should tell them everything RIGHT NOW!"
Cream: " LOL I wish u could! Don't get shit twisted!" She fired back.
Tikal: "Ok, well remember, this ur fault I'm doing this!" she texted back while rising up in her chair.
Tikal: "I have an announcement to make!" she yelled across the table for all to hear.
Cream: "Sit your ass d-" She was cut off.
Amigo had came in the room with the first two entrées that commanded all attention.
Knuckles: "Over here, the groom and bride are getting the first ones!" He commanded.
Tikal looked at him with a stern look on her face.
Amigo brought the meal to Knuckles first then have the second to Cream.
Everyone gazed at the paellas like they were their last meals ever.