**Written for The Hunger Games Competition: The Interviews, the Cinema Competition: Amelie, the Pairing Diversity Boot Camp: fire and the Set Pairing Boot Camp**
Warnings: Complete OOC-ness, absolutely no plot, just an attempt to make one massive cliché.
Dramione: The Eighth Year
Hermione looked down at the letter and the badge in her perfectly manicured hand and smirked; of course she would be made Head Girl. Really, was there any other option? It wasn't as though the previous year she had dropped out of school, went on the run with Undesirable Number 1, broke into both the Ministry of Magic and Gringott's, and escaped on a dragon.
She turned back to her trunk and carefully tucked the badge in her scarlet Gryffindor scarf. Her other possessions soon followed: lipstick, mascara, her scandalously sexy underwear, and several bottles of Sleekeazy's Hair Potion and fake tan. Ever since her long-lost American cousin had given her a makeover, those were all necessities. Hermione picked up Hogwart's: A History, scowling at the once loved cover. Why she even bought that book, she didn't know. She tossed it aside, not bothering to hear the bang it made as it collided with the wall.
She tossed her straight, blonde hair over her shoulder, glanced fleetingly around the room she no longer called hers and stalked out, hips swaying, to say goodbye to her parents (whose memories had miraculously reappeared as soon as the war was over).
Hermione opened the door to the Head Boy and Girl carriage, eager to find out who she'd be sharing her duties with. Her heart stopped in her chest when she saw a familiar crop of white blond hair faced away from her.
'Malfoy!' she exclaimed, as she placed her hands on her hips and pouted viciously. Draco turned his head towards her, a mischievous glint in his pale grey eyes. Hermione gasped. Something seemed different about the man in front of her. She couldn't place it, but then she realised. He was now hot: his eyes drew her in, his blond hair was styled impeccably and Hermione could see the tendons in his muscles through his white school shirt.
'Hermione, how lovely to see you. You look great! Fit even.'
'Since when have you called me Hermione, Draco?'
'Since when have you called me Draco,' he said, with a genuine laugh. 'I realised my mistake in calling you Mudblood for the past seven years. Over the summer I learned a lot.' Hermione went to go and sit opposite Draco. Her heels clacked on the floor as she did so. As she sat, she crossed her legs to reveal a large amount of tanned thigh, as her already short skirt climbed up her perfect leg even more. She tossed her straight hair over her shoulder and flashed Draco with a dazzling smile.
'Tell me about it, Draco,' she simpered.
'It's about you, Hermione. You are in fact the long-lost sister of Blaise Zabini, and that means a distant relation of Salazar Slytherin himself.'
'I didn't know Zabini was related to Slytherin,' she replied, considering that the most important part of that statement, and not caring that her whole life was now, in fact, a lie.
'Well, neither did I. Turns out he is, strange that isn't it?'
'Of course, it all makes sense. I clearly couldn't have gotten all my magical skills from filthy muggles. I am the best in the year!' Draco laughed at Hermione's dismissal of muggles and laid a hand on her thigh.
'Settling into Pureblood life already, I'm proud of you, baby.' His eyes flashed with fire, something that didn't go unnoticed by Hermione.
'What was that?' she gasped.
'Oh, that's my Veela powers coming through. Yeah, I know, apparently my Veela-ness only appeared once I reached 17.' Draco shrugged and carried on patting Hermione's tanned leg.
'That's weird,' remarked Hermione, but the topic was never to be brought up again.
'Mr Malfoy, Miss Granger-'
'Sorry, Professor McGonagall but that should be Miss Zabini because I'm his long-lost sister,' pointed out Hermione, interrupting the Headmistress for the first time in her life. Draco shot her another proud look and placed his hand on her lower back.
'Sorry, my mistake, Miss Zabini. Now, you two have been made Head Boy and Girl for no other reason than this is a fantastic opportunity for the two of you to get together, have hot sex, in which an alarmingly large amount of times the size of Mr Malfoy's cock, and the fact that Miss Zabini has very large, perfect breasts, will be mentioned, and then have perfect Pureblood children who will be the perfect mix of beautiful, clever, charismatic, loyal, brave, ambitious.' Professor McGonagall looked at the pair over the top of her glasses with a stern glare. 'I hope you take this responsibility seriously as you have been hand selected by me and Professor Snape. His portrait is wonderful company, I must admit. Right, your sleeping arrangements... You will have adjoining rooms by the Great Hall, accessible through the portrait of Himeros-'
'But Professor, isn't that the Greek God of sexual desire?' questioned Hermione, as a very uncharacteristic blush covered her cheeks.
'Of course, Miss Zabini. That is the only reason why we had purpose built rooms for you two there.'
'That makes sense. I suppose we'll just be off then,' said Draco, as he took Hermione's hand in his. Then, completely ignoring the Headmistress, the two of them walked towards their new living quarters.
'Draco!' whispered Hermione, as she clung onto Draco's arm. 'We don't know the password to get in.'
'Oh, I'm sure with your brains and my awesomeness we can work it out.'
'Dramione,' exclaimed Hermione. The door swung open to reveal a very welcoming room. 'An amalgamation of our names,' she explained to a blank looking Draco.
'I love you, Hermione,' he said. Hermione then threw herself at him and kissed him fiercely. Her hand found its way up his shirt, where she felt the contours of his muscles straining with the effort not to give himself to her entirely. Draco guided the two of them through the passageway into the small living room area, their tongues battling for dominance the whole time.
'There's one thing I don't understand, Dracykins,' Hermione said breathlessly after the couple broke apart. 'And I should understand everything as I'm so clever. Why are you here? I mean, you finished school last year.'
'I have no idea.' His grey eyes bore into her chocolate ones. 'It's probably fate that brought us here today, Hermione darling.'
'Oh, you're so romantic!' Draco lifted her bridal-style and walked through into the large bedroom, which conveniently included a plush king-sized bed, kissing her constantly.
From there on in Professor McGonagall's prediction became surprisingly true, as heard by anyone who walked past the portrait of Himeros...
A.N Thank you very much to Julia Evalyn Love for beta-ing this for me.