A/N: I don't like to leave top notes, but this requires some explanation. This is *not* another chapter. Rather, the movie Agent Cody Banks has a rather fun scene where Cody steals gadgets from the CIA. Since I consider that an important scene, yet I couldn't fully incorporate it into my own story, I decided to write it anyway. This is that scene, but it is *not* part of the actual story. This picks up from the middle of chapter nine.

Columbus Metropolitan Library - Main Branch, South Grant Avenue, Columbus, OH 02:41:36
"So how do we get there?" Blaine asked, and Kurt sighed.

"Believe it or not, the first thing we have to figure out is what we're going to do when we get there. Right now, we have nothing but some semi-burned nail scissors and an idiotic civilian with no sense of self-preservation."

"Make that two idiotic civilians who share a lack of self-preservation," Blaine teased, and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"You're lucky you're cute," Kurt said, giving Blaine a quick peck. "We need supplies, gadgets, and a plan."

"We have none of those things," Blaine added helpfully.

"But I know a place where we can get two of the three."

"This sounds like the kind of statement you usually follow with a question about if I trust you, so I'm going to save you the oxygen and say yes, I trust you at the moment. Now, where are we going?"

"The agency."

"No."

"Blaine-"

"No."

"What happened to trusting me?"

"You don't deserve it," Blaine answered, and while that was kind of true, it didn't change the fact that Kurt wasn't trying to drop Blaine off. Not anymore.

"Regardless of that, I'm not trying to leave you at the agency. Rather, I would prefer no one in the CIA ever knew that we were in headquarters."

"What does that mean?"

"More illegal breaking and entering."

"Oh, fun." Blaine wasn't teasing, he seemed serious. "Exactly how much trouble would we get in if we were caught breaking into the headquarters of a federal agency."

"We would both be charged with treason, and either imprisoned or killed," Kurt said flatly, and Blaine went pale. "The other option, of course, is that I hand you over to them and use you as a distraction to take the gadgets myself. That's the much safer option."

"Kurt, I need to save my father. I don't care about the danger. Just… promise me we won't get caught."

"I can't do that," Kurt said honestly, "but I promise that I have a plan."

"For some reason, that's not entirely comforting, considering the state your last plan left you in."

"Don't you trust me?"

"I hate you so much," Blaine said with a smile, giving him a kiss.

"Stockbridge Park is five miles away, and the agency a little closer than that. Since there's absolutely no way a cab is going to pick us up in downtown Columbus at," Kurt checked his phone, "two forty-five in the morning, we can either walk that distance, or take an hour long bus ride… and that's provided the buses are still running." Kurt wasn't entirely sure public transport in Columbus ran in the wee hours of the morning. If they had been in New York, it wouldn't have been a problem. Stupid Ohio.

"We're walking, aren't we?"

"What was your first clue?"

CIA Headquarters, Downtown Columbus, Columbus, OH 03:21:54
Walking at a brisk pace (incredibly brisk. Some whiny, complaining civilians would claim it was a run, but it would be said civilians' fault that they wanted to go on a dangerous mission without proper stamina training), Blaine and Kurt arrived at the headquarters in about thirty-five minutes. Blaine was sweating and swearing and complaining, but Kurt ignored him.

"This is going to be the most difficult thing we've ever done by far. Not only do we have to get on the premise, which is going to be difficult in and of itself because the guards are better-trained and more-experienced agents, we also have to get down to the gadget lab."

"This land is built on a reservoir. There's nothing below ground level."

"That's what you're supposed to think," Kurt corrected him. "Before we do this, I have to request two things."

"A water break isn't one of them, is it?"

"No. I have to request you never tell anyone where these headquarters are, because they're top secret. Like, confidential even to members of the agency in different areas kind of secret."

"Deal."

"Number two, no matter how crazy or stupid or irrational it sounds, you have to do exactly what I say. I will take care of you and make sure you're safe, but you have to do what I say when I say it."

Blaine didn't even hesitate. "Done. Can we go inside now?"

"Come on," Kurt said, pulling Blaine over towards the headquarters.

"Kurt, this is the Crossroads United Baptist Church," Blaine pointed out helpfully, reading the sign as Kurt popped open the simple lock with the half of the nail scissors he still had, and walked in the doors.

"Maybe to a civilian," Kurt replied. He knew exactly how to get into the headquarters, but he wasn't sure how to do it without alerting the agency that he was. Still, the church itself was easy enough to get into. Kurt took Blaine's hand as he headed out the west exit of the church and into one of the connected wings, which probably hosted Sunday school or something. The door to the basement was secret, but it didn't have any security besides that and a simple lock. His driver's license slid through the door and jerked up was enough to open it.

"There shouldn't be a basement here," Blaine said, and he sounded like he was in awe. Apparently, Kurt's rescue plan hadn't been impressive enough for him.

"It's secure," Kurt said flatly as he and Blaine headed down the stairs. He didn't turn on the lights, because he knew they were another security measure.

"Kurt? Lights?"

"Trust me."

"I'm really starting to hate that phrase." Kurt smiled but didn't comment.

"This basement is littered with security. Only one of the doors leads to the CIA. I don't know if the others lead to more secret headquarters, or if they're just decoys, but the door is behind the stairs."

"What do you mean?"

"The stairs extend into the middle of the circular room. The door is behind the area where the stairs is, so we have to walk all the way around one side without triggering any traps."

"I'm starting to think this was a bad idea."

"What was your first clue?"

"Mostly the fact that you wouldn't turn the lights on."

"This is much easier when you can use the override code on your badge, then you can just walk across the room, but that would be a dead giveaway."

"Literally?" Blaine asked, but Kurt didn't answer. The tenor already knew the correct answer. "Right."

"Whatever you do, don't step directly down from this last stair," Kurt said, stopping on the last stair. "We have to go over the right banister."

"Let me guess, the left banister is another trap?"

"You're starting to get the idea," Kurt said with a smile. He lead Blaine over to the right side of the stairs, then put his hands on the tenor's waist.

"Uh, Kurt?" Blaine said hesitantly out of the dark, shrinking away from Kurt's touch. The dark in the room, Kurt knew, was unnatural. It wasn't possible for a room with a flawed door at the top to be so dark Kurt couldn't see Blaine, as close as they were. "As much fun as it might be, I don't think here is the right place-"

"I'm lifting you over the banister, pervert. It's a little high-"

"I'm not that short," Blaine objected.

"And I know the proper spot for you to land."

"See, that should have been your reason."

"Don't be so sensitive." Blaine was pouting, Kurt knew, but he didn't particularly care. He put his hands back on Blaine's waist, without objection this time, and lifted him into the air, right over the banister. He knew the safe spot was the longest drop, so he walked up a stair before placing Blaine down.

"You are unnaturally strong," Blaine complained, but no traps had been set off, so Kurt counted it as a win.

"Take a step to your left, less than two feet. Be careful."

"Yes, bossy," Blaine replied, but Kurt heard him shuffle to the left, and once he was positive Blaine was out of the way he used his arms to climb on the banister and then lowered himself down. "I would say I could have done that, but I can't see you at all."

"I know. The dark here is partially chemical."

"Is it healthy to be in here?"

"You ask too many questions," Kurt said, and when he heard a sharp intake of breath from Blaine, he rolled his eyes. "It's not safe to be in here for long periods of time, but we'll be fine."

"That makes me feel only a little bit better."

"On your hands and knees."

"Um…"

"Blaine, stop making this so sexual."

"Oh, because your terrible phrasing is my fault?"

"Partially. Now, do as I say."

"You know, I like it when you get bossy," Blaine teased, but he was doing so.

"Now, crawl until you reach the opposite wall."

"Awesome," Blaine muttered, but Kurt could hear him moving. After hearing him get a little farther off, Kurt took his own step to the left and crawled after him. "What would happen, theoretically, if I wasn't crawling?"

"A laser would chop your head off. Now crawl."

"You really are super bossy," Blaine complained. "I've reached the wall, now-woah, okay."

"Sorry," Kurt apologized. He had stopped to check and make sure he had enough room to take another crawl forward (because he didn't want to run face-first into Blaine's butt and it was hard to tell distance in a dark room with an echo), and had instead gotten a handful of very-firm ass.

"And you say I'm making this sexual," Blaine teased, but he let it go.

"You can stand up now," Kurt said, and once he was sure Blaine was standing, he slid a little closer and stood up as well, a little too close to Blaine for comfort.

"Well, hi there!" Blaine said with a grin, and the kiss Kurt was sure was intended for his mouth ended up on his neck. "I forgot you're tall," Blaine said with a laugh.

"Blaine, focus," Kurt said firmly. "Now, how strong are you?"

"Isn't this something you should have asked earlier?"

"Perhaps, but it's definitely something you should answer now."

"Pretty strong."

"Good. There's a bar above your head, and you have to use that to get over to the door. You can't touch the ground."

"How will I know when I've reached the door?"

"The bar ends."

"How do you know this stuff anyway?" Blaine asked. "If you just walked across the room the first time, how do you know the security measures so well?"

"Agent Lopez pointed them out to me because I was fascinated."

"Oh, so you didn't plan to break into the CIA one day?"

"I kind of prayed I would never have to," Kurt said dryly. "Now, can you grab the bar and get to the door already?"

"I was so waiting for something I could make sexual," Blaine complained. "You really couldn't have called it a pipe or a pole?"

"Blaine."

"Sorry."

"We're not going to be able to talk this much once we're inside, so when we get through the door I'll explain to you our plan."

"Oh, good. This plan only gets more difficult."

"But of course."

Apparently having no sassy comment, Blaine pulled himself up with a huff. "You know, I was never good at the monkey bars when I was a child."

"This is only one bar, and it's a little more important than impressing your friends at the playground."

"Touché," Blaine said, and his voice sounded farther away. Grabbing the bar and pulling himself up (upper arm strength had never been his thing, unfortunately), Kurt followed, making sure to keep a safe distance. He heard Blaine's feet hit the floor and held his breath until he was sure Blaine was actually at the door.

"Now, there isn't enough room in front of the door for two people to stand, so I'm going to stay here. The first door is unlocked, but the second door is locked, so don't touch it. However, there are no more booby traps."

"Well, that's always good," Blaine said, and the door opened and closed. "Kurt?" Blaine called out from behind the door.

"One second," Kurt called back, climbing the rest of the way, dropping down, and then going through the door himself.

This area of the entrance was lit, which should have escaped through the door into the basement they had just been in, only further proving that the darkness wasn't really natural. This was the place old church turned to technological agency, with metal floors, walls, and ceiling. They were essentially in a metal box.

"That was fun," Blaine said, and he looked a little winded, but generally fine.

"Here's how this is going to go. I'm going to hack my way into that door. We're going to go out the door, me first. You will follow my every move. Cling to the wall as much as possible. We'll be at the edge of the outer perimeter, and hopefully there won't be an active guard or many agents wandering around at three in the morning. The inner perimeter is a row of elevated barracks, which surrounds a lake. The lake is our target. Once I give you the all clear, you're going to run down the stone path between the two perimeters, underneath the barracks and immerse yourself in the lake. Don't jump in, you'll make a splash. Walk. The barracks surround the lake, so there's no best place to be except for as far under the water as possible while still breathing." Now would be an excellent time to have a straw, but life wasn't as convenient as it was in movies. "I'll be right behind you."

Without addressing Blaine's doubtlessly sassy comment that was muttered under the tenor's breath, Kurt used the nail scissors to mangle and twist open the eye, fingerprint, and ID scanner, and began playing with the wires. The CIA had designed the boxes excellently, but there was one fatal flaw. A small box that did so much only had room for a certain number of wires, including one power wire. Kurt cut it as quickly as he could, the box only emitting three beeps before it died and a click was heard from inside the door. Kurt grabbed the handle and went through, not entirely sure that three beeps wasn't enough for the CIA to realize they had been breached.

Kurt clung to the wall beside the door and slid around the building he was against until he was opposite the entrance to the secret staircase, occasionally checking to make sure Blaine was with him. There were lights on around the perimeter, but they were dim and obviously intended to provide light while not keeping anyone awake. They would be both helpful and harmful to Blaine and Kurt's interests.

Then he waited. Three minutes was the average time, someone had told him at 'summer camp' for the CIA to take immediate action. This would qualify as a breach necessary for immediate action. Kurt slid down the wall so he was the smallest figure possible, and less likely to be on camera (he had no way of knowing where they were, so he had to hope they weren't watched intently at three in the morning). A quick glance around after three minutes revealed no one. If they had been seen, they would know it by now. Kurt could feel Blaine vibrating from nerves and adrenaline. Kurt turned, caught eyes with him, and nodded.

Blaine was pretty fast, he noticed as Blaine shot across the courtyard. The tenor stopped once, leaning against one of the pillars underneath the barracks to catch his breath. It was probably the safest place to do so; Blaine was already starting to think like an agent. The Blaine ran to the lake and immersed himself in it. By the time the water stilled, Kurt couldn't see Blaine at all.

If they didn't die in the process of this and Kurt miraculously didn't get fired, he would suggest Blaine to be trained as an agent.

Kurt, better trained and a little bit stronger, combat crawled until he was under the barracks. He crouched there patiently, hoping Blaine wouldn't be worrying about him in the lake, for a few seconds, scanning the three sides of the barracks he could see for lights, and then scanning the windows opposite him for reflections from the side above him. Deeming it safe, he combat crawled to the lake, and stood up only long enough to dive in without a splash or a sound.

"You're very graceful," Blaine whispered barely audibly as Kurt swam over to him. "What took you so long?"

"I was just checking to make sure you hadn't been spotted." Kurt's next obstacle was the stairs, but Blaine didn't know anything about them, so he would have to figure this one out on his own. "Stay here, okay?" he told Blaine and didn't wait for an answer before diving under the water.

Kurt swan parallel to the stone path, having to touch its base to stay along the route, considering the agency was dimly-lit, and stopped when he felt the base widen. The path itself didn't widen, he knew that, but the staircase was wider than the path. He swam closer to the surface until he could feel where the first step rose on springs. He swam a little farther down, and accidentally burst through the bubble around the stairs. He broke through a little above where the stairs actually were, so he was suddenly gravity-bound, and took a little bit of a hard fall. He was just surprised to find the bubble was operational at all hours. Maybe there were still people in the area. It was where the most important missions were conducted; it wouldn't surprise Kurt if they worked into the dead of night and onto the next morning.

The door to mission control was shut, but Kurt pushed on it and it opened slightly. Obviously, the CIA's security was more lax inside the compound. If someone knew where the secret stairs were, how to work them, and had gotten into the compound in the first place, they were obviously supposed to be in mission control. "Perfect," Kurt said before stepping out through the bubble into the water to fetch Blaine. It was an unusually weightless and surprisingly heavy feeling to walk through the bubble, and Kurt felt better once he was back in an atmosphere his body was used to. He still really wanted to know how the bubble worked.

Kurt swam up to Blaine underwater. If it had been any other day or any other situation, he would have tickled Blaine's foot to scare him, but he couldn't take the risk that Blaine would freak out and give up their position, so he just swam to the surface.

"Do I even bother asking where you've been?" Blaine whispered with a smile.

"Hold your breath; come with me," Kurt said quickly before taking a breath himself, grabbing Blaine's hand, and diving under. The swim to the staircase wasn't that long, and Kurt quickly pulled Blaine through the bubble.

"What the hell?" Blaine asked with a gasp, because yes, it was a strange feeling.

"Don't ask me, I still have no idea how that works." Blaine pouted, but Kurt ignored it. "Now, I know there's a guard on the other side of this door, but I'm willing to bet that I know him and can convince him that I'm still on mission. I don't know how many other agents there will be though, or if there are any that are currently part of the mission I was thrown off."

"Joy."

"I'll take a peek, okay? Just, be prepared to swim into the darkness." Kurt wasn't sure how Blaine would get off the compound, but a lot of things were better than being caught by the CIA. Kurt opened the door, and though the conference room doors were shut (which meant there were agents in there, the lobby was empty except for the same guard who had met him on his first day, who smiled and waved. Instead of verbally addressing Blaine, he took the tenor's hand and confidently strolled into mission control.

"Hello, Agent!" the security guard said cheerily.

"Hi, how's your hand?"

"Healing nicely, thanks for asking." Blaine, in a wise move, didn't ask any questions or speak at all, just following Kurt through the room and through the panel-sliding doors that lead to the gadget area.

"This place is amazing," he whispered as Kurt checked to make sure the laboratory was empty.

"And the good news is, that door," he pointed to a door reminiscent of a high-tech garage door, "leads directly out of the compound for the sake of driving out that tricked out car. No security that I can't work from in here." Blaine breathed a sigh of relief, probably that they didn't have to go back out through the harrowingly-dark basement of the church. "Now, let's get some gadgets."

A/N: Sorry to leave both top and bottom notes, but I'm ending the scene here. I'm too lazy to think up more cool gadgets, so I got them in and gave them a way to get out. Action scenes! Whoo!

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