Hellsing – Regularity (teen Integra + Alucard)
Soundtrack: A Little Less Conversation – Elvis Presley
**AN: Insert standard disclaimer here – I own nada!
Couldn't resist - I'm surprised that there aren't more of these little stories around since it seems like such a perfect opportunity for some lechery.
Hellsing - Regularity
"Alucard, have you heard anything I've said the last five minutes?"
The vampire's ruby gaze blinked slowly. "I'm afraid not."
"Pull yourself together," she barked. "You're no use to anyone like this."
He tried his best to maintain focus, but kept failing spectacularly. "Forgive me, Master" Alucard managed finally.
"Good Lord," Integra glared at him. "I should have all my bits ripped out so as to stop this foolishness every month."
The uncharacteristic look of stunned horror on his face nearly ruined everything.
She'd be damned if she would laugh at him while he was being insufferable.
"It's been four years, and you still act this way every time. It's too expensive to ship you off somewhere when there isn't a mission; locking you in your coffin is—"
"Pointless."
"Exactly!" she poked her finger at the vampire king.
Amusement glittered in his eyes as he watched her pace behind her desk, throwing her hands up in frustration. She was only this animated when her hormones were high, really angry, or both. Barely eighteen...he had years of this to look forward to.
Life is full of wondrous things...
She was still yelling, but he figured he hadn't missed much with the way she was still stomping back and forth and not yet ordering him to ground.
"I'm at my wit's end!"
Alucard twitched, trying to listen to what she actually said instead of what he thought he heard.
"I've used every trick I know: scented soaps, candles – Hell, I even tried perfume! And still, you act like a dog on the hunt."
The vampire's smile was unrepentant. "The clove and cinnamon was nice."
"I believe the comment you made was: 'You smell like dessert.'"
"You still do," he purred.
She pinned him with a steely blue glare. "Say that again and I'll switch out your rations with pigs' blood."
Alucard's jaw clicked shut on his next remark, but he couldn't pout for long while his master was so deliciously...everything...
Fingers snapped in his face, interrupting a rather pleasant daydream of chocolate covered cherries strategically arranged across her nude body.
Integra rolled her eyes. "Seriously, I should know better than to try to talk to you right now," she muttered.
"I can think of much better things to do," his grin spread into a leer.
The girl's angry response was cut off in a gasp of pain as a cramp lanced through her abdomen.
A heartbeat later, she felt a cool touch upon her brow and an arm around her hips. Alucard sat on the desk and pulled her back against him, ignoring her automatic protest through gritted teeth.
Scandalous as it was to be held tight against his body, Integra stopped fighting as the cramp slowly loosened under the pressure of his hand. For once, Alucard simply held her, not pushing for anything more despite his earlier jibes.
When he was sure she wouldn't elbow him or jump away, the vampire moved his other hand to her stomach and cupped it over the first. Under the steady press of his fingers, he felt her muscles ripple again as a fresh cramp struck.
Integra doubled over his arms and tried to breathe around the feeling of razors in her gut.
Unseen, Alucard bit through his lip to keep from making any noise. The scent of Integra's sweet blood, her fiery temper and his own healthy imagination had him aroused to nearly painful levels already. Looking down at the moaning girl jack-knifed in his lap was positively torturous.
Thankfully, Integra was hurting too much to apparently take notice.
Barely eighteen and years of this to look forward to...
"Was this one of those 'better things' you were thinking of?" Integra panted, forcing her body to sit upright again as the pain released her.
She felt his deep chuckle more than she hear it. "Not quite, but it'll do."
AN: Not sure if that works for any other girls, but pressure and heat always seemed to help when my cramps would get really bad. Since Alucard is cold, he can only help with the pressure part (and get some free snuggles in the bargain).