A/N: Alright I have just a couple of things I need to address in this Author's note.
First of all, Reviews! thank you so much for your support! I read some of them and I'm like "awwwww... you give me the fuzzies!" As for the question about updating; I'm sorry if I am not updating as much as I normally do, but I have new schedule now that summer's over. It will be hard to update twice a week as I've done before. But, don't worry, I will try to update at least once a week!
Secondly, although most of what we discussed comes into play later in the fic, I want to give credit where it's due ahead of time. So, a special thanks to DarkHope who has really been helping me plan and organize my ideas for the future of this fanfic recently:D Sometimes my brain needs a sanity check, so she's just been being ridiculously awesome and listening to me ramble on and on about this fic and giving input.
But she's probably like "Oh no! I don't want to be associated with her!"Lol. So when I do something shockingly horrible, (I'm sure you're all thinking 'too late'), don't blame her; she most likely didn't have anything to do with it. Haha. And I'm sure most of you already have read her stuff first, but she has her own works such as her Gruvia manifesto, which I feel, could convert anyone to Gruvia (although I'm told her rants on Tumblr are more up to date, Lol). Also fanfics that are of course, on her profile. Those are wonderful as well : )
So anyways, that Author's note was a little long right? Well, I apologize. Continue on, the chapter is still there. It didn't go anywhere. Oh, and don't think I'm planning to do horrible things. I was just saying.
While Juvia sat on a table in the doctor's office, a storm was brewing outside. The low rumble of the thunder could be heard looming in the distance and the black clouds spread across the sky like a blanket of darkness. The mood was somber, for sure, and even more somber for a certain water mage who awaited the results of her testing.
"Well, based on the evidence from the blood tests pelvic exam, and ultrasound. I would say you did not have a miscarriage. You say you've only taken home test right? Home pregnancy tests can be faulty, however it is obvious from the bloodwork we've done that you were definitely pregnant to begin with as well." The doctor, an older woman, explained, holding a clipboard and pen.
"So….. is he the father?" The woman said gesturing towards Gajeel.
The water mage nearly gagged at the thought. "No. He's just a friend."
"Oh. I see, one of those." the doctor raised her eyebrows.
Juvia giggled and Gajeel cheeks turned bright red. "He's not gay." The water mage blurted out. "Just helping out, because Juvia didn't want to come alone."
"Wow." She remarked. "It's not usual to have such a sensitive guy around, especially when they're not the father. I usually see one of the mothers' girlfriends come along with her." The doctor smiled at him.
The iron dragon slayer rolled his eyes. "Sensitive my ASS! Let's just get to the point. This paranoid girl's all worried about her kid being okay." He explained wearing a scowl and looking away.
"At this point, there aren't any signs of any serious problems. You'll need to take note if there are any further symptoms, but I'd say you're in the clear."
The water mage let out a sigh of relief. "Well that's all Juvia needed to hear."
The doctor gave her a warm smile. "It certainly seems like you'll make a good mother. Your concern for your child seems quite genuine."
Juvia blushed at the compliment. "Isn't that natural?"
"Well….. let's just say that sometimes particularly young mothers such as yourself sometimes let the fear get to them." The doctor pursed her lips, thinking of her experiences. "It can be a pretty scary thing to have a little person growing your tummy." She said, and chuckled a bit.
The woman then gave her an extensive physical examination and asked her several questions pertaining to her health status and date of conception, which Juvia was 100% sure of.
"So, that means your due date will probably be around…. let's see… end of March? Hmmmmm….. yes! Spring baby. That'll be nice." She said with a cheerful ring to her voice.
Juvia felt a sense of joy knowing her baby would be born in that particular season. During that time there would be blooming flowers and other gifts of nature. She could imagine holding her baby in her arms in the hospital bed, with the sunlight pouring in through the window giving the room a sentimental glow.
The rest of the appointment consisted of being told all the do's and don't of pregnancy. It was almost overwhelming. Sure, was already aware of most of them, but it was still enlightening to hear all of them spelled out for her. It wasn't all that complicated, but it still made her feel paranoid about all of the possible ways to mess up. She couldn't even eat sushi!
At the conclusion of her lecture, the doctor seeing Juvia's worry, decided to give her a little encouragement. "Your baby will be fine, I'm sure. The fact that you're worried means you'll give your child excellent care." She added at the end, "You will be needing to get regular check-ups though. Do you have any other questions?"
The pregnant mage shook her head, still trying to take in everything she was told.
"Here. If you have trouble remembering the key rules to a healthy pregnancy, take this." The doctor handed Juvia a brochure and walked out the door. On it was a picture of a woman with a very large belly on the front. The woman was smiling down at her belly as if all was well.
I bet that woman's baby belongs to her true love
Even though it was only a picture, the image had Juvia thinking about what it would be like to be apart of a different story. One where two people meet, spend time together, realize their need for each other, and spend the rest of their lives together. They would both agree they want a family and it would happen. Such a simple idea in theory, but it didn't happen as much as she once believed.
Realizing her feelings, the pregnant girl had to shake the jealousy she felt towards the woman on the cover. Deciding the pregnancy itself was more important than who the father was, she looked down, mimicking the woman, beamed, and brushed her hand over her belly.
As the two walked out of the hospital building, they noticed rain had instantly cleared up and an array of colors were stretched across the sky. The emotional woman stopped walking and was staring at the display, eyes watering. The iron dragon slayer looked at her like she was nuts.
"What the hell's with you?" He moved his eyes to try and see what she was staring at, but didn't understand.
"Look at the rainbow!"
He looked back over. "Yeah….so?"
"Be quiet Gajeel-kun. You don't understand." She said and turned back around to gaze at the beautiful phenomena once more.
"You done?"
"No!" She snapped. A few seconds later she said. "Now Juvia's done." And they continued walking back home.
"Hormonal much!?"
As they kept walking Juvia noticed him thinking intently. "What is it Gajeel-kun?"
"So you two fucked at the Magic Games, is that right?" He asked.
"Gajeel-kun!" Juvia hit her friend rather hard, glowering. "Do not ask Juvia about that. And do not call it fuck!" The rain woman was truly pissed, but the dragon slayer didn't care.
"You said fuck." He grinned. "I'm glad you at least told me sooner than later. And before stripper…..that's really saying something."
"How far along could Juvia possibly be?"
"You could be EIGHT MONTHS pregnant for all I know!" He said throwing his arms in the air.
Juvia shifted moods quite suddenly and laughed. " Well…. Juvia would look quite large by then, silly!" Gajeel had always been insensitive with his words, but at this point she was used to it. Besides, being from Phantom Lord she had a hidden dark side as well. It didn't bother her much to be less than gentle with others.
The dragon slayer smirked, causing Juvia to furrow her brow. "Don't even begin to THINK that Juvia is already fat looking! Because she has tried VERY hard to keep her weight normal even though she is so hungry!"
The man rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath " Well… you have gained weight."
That earned a fierce glare from the water mage. "You try craving junk food to the point you have to toss all of it just to keep yourself from eating every potato chip and piece of chalk in sight!"
"TCH…. I eat what I want, when I want it!" He thought for a second. "Wait….Chalk?"
"You eat IRON! That is NOT junk food!" She corrected him, scornfully.
"Neither is CHALK you DOLT!"
When they got to to point where their homes were in opposite locations, Juvia turned to her friend and begged him one more time. "Are you sure you can't come over to Juvia's for a little bit?"
"Woman, you woke me up at three in the morning! I ain't spending another second with you!"
The water mage wore a mischievous grin. "Juvia thinks, you just miss Levy-san, that's all."
"What!? You just shut up! I'm outta here!" He told her and began leaving.
"Wait! Remember, don't -!"
"Yeah, I got it, won't tell anyone. Do you really think a guy like me is a gossip?" He said and headed off.
"No, I suppose not." Juvia said to herself.
Juvia sat on the floor of her bedroom, arms pulling her knees close to her, and rested her chin on them. It was an anxious morning. The days following the appointment, she had experienced a temporary high. For the first time she had felt attachment to her baby. Things were going to be okay. Her visit with the doctor had strengthened the bond she felt with her, but none of that mattered on this day. The day that made the pregnant mage feel dread.
It was Saturday.
Looking over to see the bouquet of flowers on her nightstand, she was reminded of the note. The girl was at a crossroads. Of course she was going to meet Lyon since it was the right thing to do. But what was she supposed to say to him?
To wake her brain up, she decided it was best to think about the matter while taking a long shower. Despite feeling glued to the floor, the tired mage picked herself up off the floor and made her way over to the bathroom were she turned on the shower.
She grabbed a towel and caught herself in the mirror once again spurring a personal reflection. Gone were the days that she was silly, naive Juvia. The person who stood in front of the mirror was a grown woman who had choices to make. Stepping into the shower she instantly noticed the temperature of the water.
"OWWWW!" She jumped backwards and slipped, nearly falling through the shower curtain, but instead she gripped the edge of the entrance to the shower, saving herself from another bad fall. Okay, so she wasn't naive Juvia, but she was still clumsy Juvia, she thought.
...although truthfully she was still naive too... and a little silly.
The lump in her throat was so prominent she thought she might choke. The restless angst she felt was unbearable. In that spot in her chest, where her heart used to be, there was an empty, yet aching feeling. In her head, the pregnant mage knew that Lyon was the one she should should feel closer to, being that he was the father. But still, in her heart, all that she wanted, was to be with Gray.
She had always loved him. But now….. the longing to be with him was all the more strong, nearly an addiction. The water mage wanted nothing more than to cling to him and never let go; it was an impulse. As much heartache as she felt seeing him, she wanted him here with her.
It was bittersweet.
After being hit by the vulcan, she had decided it was best to avoid working, even if it meant being nearer to Gray. She didn't how she was going to pay for her living expenses, but she couldn't work right now. For the time being, she had saved some money in case something like this ever happened. Yet, this wasn't what she had expected she would need it for. In fact, it was the last thing she thought she would need it for. Funny how life worked.
When the water cooled a little, she stepped back into the shower. As the hot water poured down her body, her senses awakened, and her drenched skin actually tickled a little bit sending chills down her body. It was just the right temperature. It felt good. So good.
"That tickles. Juvia likes it when you touch her like that!"
"You're hands are warm for an ice mage too." She said, moving her voice towards a more seductive tone.He slid his hands around her curves, feeling along her waistline and moving further down. She was wet...no wet wasn't quite the word.
It was more erotic than that, more explosive. She felt goosebumps all over her body as she felt the muscles of her snatch tighten and contract, pleasure rushing through her body.
She moaned.
"Keep going...please..."
When she snapped out of it, Juvia found that she had been standing there under the hot water for too long. The skin on her fingers were becoming wrinkled, so she quickly rinsed her hair, washed herself, and stepped out of the shower.
Standing bending over at the sink slightly, looking down, she tried again. Concentrating hard, she crinkled her forehead. She pushed herself to replay the scene in her head a second time, but found it was useless.
The glass in the mirror was fogged up with steam. Seeing her blurred reflection in the mirror, she wondered what it was that made her feel so off. The blunette knew that her imagination could be active, but every time things like that came to her mind, it felt so real. However, the image itself was just as blurred as the reflection in the mirror.
With butterflies fluttering around in her stomach, the pregnant girl stood in front of Risa's Cafe in hesitation, biting her lip. When she finally took the plunge, she found Lyon sitting at a table, looking nervous himself. When he saw her he looked almost surprised, as if he hadn't expected her to show up at all. The water mage couldn't blame him; she had actually surprised herself a little by showing up.
"Juvia-chan….I mean Juvia." He greeted her.
"H-hello." The short response was a brief last minute stalling technique, which of course only bought her a few seconds. They ordered coffee and went back to their table to get to business. She sat across from him, apprehensive. Both gave each other brief glances and then looked away, feeling awkward.
"So how are you?" He started off going easy on her.
"Fine. You?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "Am I supposed to be honest?"
The blunette was twirling a stand of hair with her finger and stopped when she finally made eye contact.
"Lyon-sama, look, everything about this is unfortunate, but Juvia can't change what happened…."
"I know." He inserted "I know you think this was all a mistake."
"..." She was at a loss for words.
"So how are you... really?"
"….." she shifted in her chair uncomfortably. The girl had hoped this would be an easier problem to face before today came. Knowing how hard unrequited love could be, she felt a pang of resentment towards herself.
"I understand you're frightened of this situation and you've probably been doing a lot of thinking about this." He wore a slight frown. "But I've been thinking about it too, so all I ask is that you hear me out."
The woman stayed quiet as a way of accepting his wishes . "You don't have to include me in your life. But please, don't exclude me from my own child's life." The desperation in his voice was undeniable. The ice mage rested his hand on hers, but she pulled away, closed her eyes, and sighed. She searched for a hidden agenda in his voice but found none.
"Juvia can understand where you're coming from, she really can." She could feel sweat drops forming and dripping down her skin. She opened her eyes and faced him, "And she's not really ready to talk about it….but then again she might never be."
"So where do we go from here?"
Juvia picked up her sleeveless cup and sipped to give herself another second to think. She gulped the hot coffee down too fast, hurting the back of her throat.
"It's hard to know. I mean, you have your own life. You should listen to what Juvia is saying and keep your life while you have it. If you listen to her, you can move on and find someone else….. someone who can give you what she can't." Although she knew that moving on was easier said than done.
"But that doesn't mean I can't help you." He told her sincerely.
The frustration that had creeped up on her during their first talk was now resurfacing. "But you can't. This is Juvia's deal."
"No… it's not!" the silver haired ice mage argued. This time, he was not going to allow her to claim the burden as her own. She was too kind, too caring, and sometimes it was a curse instead of a blessing.
"Don't you understand?" She began to raise her voice in a distressed tone. "You're going to ruin your life for a person who doesn't even love you!" As the words left her mouth she instantly regretted them. "Lyon, I'm so sorry. Juvia didn't mean it to be so-"
He shook his head as she was speaking but cut her off. "If you won't let me do it for you, then at least let me do it for her."
"About that... I don't really know if it's a girl." The blunette clarified.
"I realize that now. Apparently you can't tell this early on, not until twelve weeks at the earliest." Juvia blinked in surprise. He had done his research. It seemed that he was serious about this.
"But, I want to try and bond with this baby as much as you."
Juvia didn't reply and the man had a blank stare. "Have you told anyone?"
"Juvia told Gajeel-kun, and Natsu-san found out on his own. But, there hasn't been a good time."
"There's never a good time to tell people about this, Juvia-chan, uh…Juvia."
He paused for a moment to remember where he was going. "Listen, all I want is for you to not shut me out during this pregnancy. I just want to know what's going on; how the baby's doing, and how you're doing." The silver haired mage reasoned.
Juvia nodded her head to show acknowledgment. "Fine. Juvia can handle that. But she wants to maintain control. She is the one carrying the baby, so she calls the shots!" She declared.
"… Pregnancy hormones have really gotten to you haven't they Juvia-chan?"
She sighed regaining a calm state." You're right. Juvia's been a little emotional lately."
"Understandably." Lyon said, trying to comfort her.
"Lyon-sama, I want you to know that whatever happens in this pregnancy, it's not that I don't want you involved. It's just, there can't be any messing around anymore. If you father this baby, you have to accept that I want to keep the relationship as it is; friends."
The ice mage had planned to keep everything about this meeting platonic, but he couldn't help but give it one last try. "I understand what you're getting at, but the same way you can't control your feelings…. I can't control mine." He paused a little before continuing. "Juvia….when people are drunk….what they do isn't as random as people would like to believe. Sometimes, it comes from their subconscious to begin with so…. don't you think it's possible what happened may not have been a mistake?"
"You're, right, it's not a mistake." She stated confidently. "Because of her."
Lyon decided not to push his feelings any further. "Right."
"Well, sorry this has to be cut short but Juvia really better get going."
"Wait, when will I see you again?"
"Soon, Juvia promises. She'll come visit." She reassured him.
But when she stood up, he did as well and on impulse, he hugged her.
Understanding his feelings, she allowed it, just this once. It was a needed form of closure. She may not have been in love with him, but he certainly didn't deserve all he was going through. He was like Gray's bother, and somebody that important to Gray was important to her. Though the pregnant girl was prepared for the likelihood that the conflict between the two ice mages would get worse, all because of one night. It was strange that nobody mentioned Gray at all during this talk, but Juvia figured it was probably a coping mechanism, that both of them were okay with using.
When he finally released her, she spun around and bumped right into a red-haired woman, spilling her coffee everywhere. "WHOOPS! Juvia's sorry!" It took her a moment to recognize her victim, since she had no armor on. This happened only occasionally. "Erza-san?"
The requip mage gave Juvia a bewildered look before looking down at the coffee on the floor that just barely missed spilling on her. Lifting her eyes back up, she briefly glanced at Juvia and then shifted them over to Lyon who stood not far behind. They continued to bounce from Juvia to Lyon and back to Juvia. She answered, bemused.
"That's alright, Juvia... At least nobody got coffee on their clothes."
"Yes, that's true. Well, gotta go!" She replied sheepishly and scurried out the door without even cleaning up the mess.
Erza, after watching the flustered girl storm out of the cafe, turned around to face Lyon. "I'll clean it up." He offered.
The redhead's brain cogs went to work furiously. Between this and what she remembered seeing back in Crocus, she felt slightly concerned. Gray was one of her closest friends so she didn't want to see him get hurt. Though the dark haired ice mage was never entirely honest about how he felt, she knew he had feelings for Juvia. Time after time he silently proved the bond he shared with the blue haired girl. Having feelings for another blue-haired mage herself, she was even more sympathetic. Love could be cruel.
Knowing there was no immediate "threat" to what she just saw, the redhead simply took note of the strange incident and proceeded to make her way over to the table where a certain male blue-haired mage sat.
Within minutes, the blue haired girl herself had made it back to Fairy Hills.
Hopefully, Erza-san doesn't say anything about this to anyone.
As she approached her room with her keys, she looked up and stopped walking, only inches away from the dark haired ice mage. The water mage nearly had a heart attack, once again, but this time she hid it well.
"Gray-sama?" She knitted her eyebrows together. Seeing him, she instantly forgot about Erza and Lyon.
He couldn't possibly know, could he?
"Oh. Hi, I uhh… was just coming over to see you."
Definitely not, too calm.
Inside the water mage was happy to see him. The way he looked at her, she thought she saw a hint of longing in his eyes. She felt a wave of affection wash over her, but hid it as best as she could. He responded better when she controlled her urges.
"Well, Juvia's glad you planned to use a door instead of her window."
"Yeah, well…. seeing how you weren't exactly appropriately dressed last time I figured you'd be less embarrassed " He replied, not wanting to admit that his guilty pleasure was embarrassing her. "And I know how you like to binge on ice-cream in private."
"Oh, okay." Her voice was doubtful, as was her facial expression, but she still wore a blush at the last comment.
"What?"
"Well it's just, Juvia thought you liked seeing her like that." She flashed him a coy grin and turned the keys in the lock, opening the door.
The ice mage raised an eyebrow. "You haven't said things like that in a while."
The shy girl widened her grin with sincere happiness. "Well….let's just say Juvia's been deprived of her Gray-sama for too long."
Gray laughed. It'd been a while since they had been so friendly to each other. Either hell had froze over, or they both had really missed each other. The short time they were separated felt like ages. Though there was still unresolved conflict between them, neither one wanted to deal with it. Not right now.
To tell the truth, the ice mage had planned on another attempt at confronting her, in hopes of getting an honest explanation for her strange behavior. But it didn't seem like the time or place. He figured they could work out the funniness, eventually. For now, his only desire was to see her; to make sure she was okay.
"I haven't seen you around at the guild for a few days." He said leaning against the doorway.
"About that…. well, Juvia's just taking a break for a while. She thinks some stress relief would be good." The water mage said, while moving past him.
"You need stress relief?"
Gray loosely grabbed her arm and as soon as she turned to face him, he planted his lips on hers, without hesitation.
"Does this mean you're not mad at Juvia?"
"I told you before, I was never angry. Confused, maybe. But not angry."
Hearing the benign nature in his voice, Juvia drop her defenses a little, for a bit of flirtation. She put hand up to her chin, as if musing. "Gray-sama, you didn't come over here just to have sex, did you?"
Her bluntness caught him off guard. "What!? No!" He laughed nervously and averted his gaze. "Juvia sometimes you really let that imagination of yours get out of hand."
"But Gray-sama…"
"Look." He said, placing his eyes back on her " I just want to make sure things are okay between us, no matter what."
Even though, he was defensive, Juvia knew he meant what he said. Again, faced with the opportunity to tell him the truth, she passed it up. Who wouldn't? For one moment everything was okay between them. Nothing else mattered.
"Thank you, Gray-sama. Juvia knows you care." She laid her head against his bare chest, her arms around him. The closeness she felt to him was a comforting feeling, and it felt even better when he pulled her closer and reciprocated. His warm hands on her back….. were a form of therapy.
"Yeah."
Though he didn't know her secret yet, she pretended he did.
For once in a long time, they both felt like they were on the same side, on the same wavelength. This was the way it was meant to be.
If only time could stand still.
Just a little while longer, the two mages thought.
A/N: I know a lot of you feel bad for Juvia. But notice…. she technically got three hugs in two chapters! Juvia is too cute to not hug.
About the chalk. Some pregnant women crave stuff like that because of the nutrients in it.
Review? Pretty Please….. with sugar on top? Once again thank you also to all of those who are following, favoriting, and reviewing this fic. That is fuel that motivates me : ) I'm sorry if I get any information wrong in this fic. I try to fact check everything, but ya know, slip ups happen.