A/N: Sorry to leave you guys hanging for a little bit, there, but this time I actually have a good few excuses. Here's the sitch: My aunt died a little bit ago -- it was totally crazy: she was in Brazil, caught a parasite, and I found out she was in the hospital only about three hours before she died.
Not to be outdone, of course, my immediate family had a crisis: my sister had a total fugue thing -- she blacked and when she woke up we found that she'd driven herself about an hour and a half away and seemed to be heading for my other sister's house. She has absolutely no memory of this.
So I don't even feel guilty for not writing until this late. Bear with me; I'm working through some serious shit on this. So this chapter isn't going to have the happiest ending. There. I said it!
Sorry. I just needed to get that out.
So I'm just going to say that I have no idea when I'm going to finish this chapter; or if I'm going to be able to post it by the time I head out, so I'll just start it because, in case you hadn't noticed, my Passion Muse is working overtime (and Goddess bless Her, too, because I still feel really bad when I think of the huge amount of time I left this on hiatus). I'm not sure if this chapter is going to be a big long one or a short one or somewhere in the middle. I'm not sure what's going to end it off - as a cliffhanger or a definitive ending. It's just going to be what it's going to be.
And I hope that the soundtracks that I posted earlier are working for some people; reading just clicks better for me when I listen to music with it. Writing too; so you had better be grateful for music, cuz without it I doubt I'd ever finish anything that I started. But do any of you have a song that you think fits this fic? I'd love to hear from you - it's always nice to get some new tunes to spin.
the Passion of Angels and Demons
Chapter XVIII
Blood, Chocolate & Ashes
Fire spun around him like he was at the heart of the sun. Everywhere was burning, burning; he screamed in agony as he felt that integral part of himself that was him start to burn away too. Darkness reigned in the air and lava melted the floor; he had no sense of time or space. Down was up, left was right; vertigo was the name of the day as he spun spun spun into the furnace of wherever the hell this was.
He heard nothing, saw nothing but the agony. He couldn't move anymore, couldn't try to see if any of his friends were there. There was only this…this hell that he had no idea why he was here he didn't deserve to burn burn burn this hot like white metal and he screamed in pain so hard and loud his lungs seared with the rest of him.
"Angelus!"
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Buffy walked behind Angelus, keeping him carefully in front of her. Drusilla was next to her, and Buffy kept a wary eye on her as well, though the insane vampiress seemed content to go wherever the Slayer led her. Her threat to Spike seemed to have worked; no vampires were following them, at least none that Buffy could see or sense. It was odd to think of Spike's bond to Drusilla - it made her think of Xander and Angelus. Could Angelus…feel, in his psychotic, daemonic way? She shied away from the thought and forced herself to think of something else.
Disturbingly, another vampire came to mind: Spike. What had that…look meant, when their eyes had met? She shuddered thinking of it. Okay, so Spike was attractive, in a very Spike sense: he had the most electric blue eyes she'd ever seen -- Not going there, she told herself sternly. That way lies madness. Sure, Spike was attractive. He was also evil and had made it his mission in life to see her dead, and had done everything in his power to make it so.
"I should have known you'd take him to the Watcher's," Angelus said, breaking the silence that had held them for the last fifteen minutes of walking. "It was either there or the library. Really, Slayer, you're far too predictable." His voice was cutting, cold, and sarcastic. Buffy sighed. She so wasn't in the mood to trade words with Angelus right now.
"Look, Angelus, I get that you're evil and everything, but after everything that you've put us through I'm just fucking tired," she snarled. "I am physically and emotionally fucking exhausted, and I'm fully prepared to put a stake in this bitch's heart and sit back with you and watch Xander die unless you shut the hell up!"
"Don't you fucking dare--" Angelus started, turning around, sporting a game face and a snarl, but Drusilla stepped forward and put a hand on his mouth.
"Hush, my Angel," she ordered. Angelus gave her an annoyed look and made to move her aside, but she wouldn't budge. "You must not push dear Buffy - she pushes back now and is not a nice puppy any longer. We must hurry to little brother, or he will be lost!" she whispered, clutching her head with a whimper. Angelus sighed and motioned for Buffy to continue.
Buffy knew that for all his words and attitude, Angelus really didn't have a choice in this. She'd wanted for so long to have him in her power like this.
Somehow, under these circumstances, it was a hollow victory.
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Willow woke up to silence in the apartment, a sort of heavy sleepiness that made her think of the spell that the good fairies had put Sleeping Beauty's kingdom under when the princess had pricked her finger. She'd always enjoyed that story, but she felt claustrophobic under this sleepy blanket; it was like the air was heavy with holding its breath, the calm before the kinds of storms that wiped towns away in the blink of an eye.
She gently moved Oz's protective arm off of her with a small smile. Even in the midst of all of this she sometimes couldn't understand her own good fortune with the werewolf. She'd thought herself small, geeky, and unlovable, until Oz had come and convinced her that to at least one person she was beautiful. She laid a shy kiss on his brow as she slowly got up, and he twitched in his sleep, moving toward her. She headed for the bathroom, even though her throat still felt dry from last…night! It's already morning! she thought in panic as she saw that the clock read five o'clock.
She hurried to pee, and then ran into the kitchen and got herself a glass of water that she devoured as greedily as a vampire drinking blood, and then she ran up the stairs, not caring how loud her footsteps were as she threw herself into Giles' bedroom. There sat Cordelia next to the bed, asleep against a wall. There sat Giles on the floor, dozing. And there was Xander…or at least what was left of him, curled up on the bed.
Then…he opened his eyes.
Xander's warm chocolate eyes regarded her with a confused expression, as if trying to place her, trying to figure out who she even was. "Willow?" His voice was so small, so full of confusion and pain and fear that her heart shattered into a thousand tiny pieces at the sound of it. "Help me…"
Then, suddenly, he screamed in pain, and all hell broke loose.
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"Our best course of action is to go to the Doorway while he is still asleep, and ascertain how bad it is, and what to do from there," Marie-Claire said decisively. Mathu looked ready to argue, again, but he held his council when she silenced him with one of her trademark icy glares. The Master and Mistress of the Guard both stood as silently as they always moved, and waited for further orders.
Jenny stared into the depths of her wineglass. She'd poured herself another one around four, and she hadn't stopped there. She thanked the Goddess that no one had decided to comment on it, because she didn't think she'd be able to stop. She found herself wishing for bourbon, or whiskey. Something strong that burned all the way down, down, down, she thought. Something that would get her so drunk that she'd not be able to really think about what the hell she was going to do when they got to Rupert's apartment.
Because she'd have to make a choice, in the end. Whether she stood with the Coven or whether she chose to leave it after this. Could she stand by and watch them…end Xander, as they were likely to do? Could she not, when she knew what could be coming on the not-so-distant horizon if what had been unleashed through Xander came to full fruition? She sighed and threw back the wine, swallowing it quickly as the bitter taste permeated her mouth. Everything about today is bitter, she thought morosely as she saw the distant sunrise.
She wondered how much of a fight she'd have to watch when they arrived at Rupert's. She wondered whether the Watcher in him would demand that he acquiesce to the Moon Coven, or if the wonderful, honorable man she'd come to love would rise and try to throw them all bodily out of his apartment. Either way, it would cut both him and her in ways that might never be able to be mended.
The delicate, blind Seer suddenly screamed in pain and fell to her knees, whimpering as she clutched her head in both hands. Everyone jumped as they stared at the petite young woman as she started babbling in a language Jenny had never even heard, but she thought she could pick out snatches of something recognizable as the girl begged Selene, the mighty warrior Goddess of the Moon, to help her block the images she Saw out of her mind.
"Larana, what's wrong?" Marie-Claire asked, desperately pulling the girl's hands away from her face. "Tell us what you See!"
The blonde lifted her face, her blind eyes staring straight ahead and filling with tears for something that they could not comprehend as she whispered "He is risen, and all is darkness!"
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Buffy felt wild with relief when the stepped into the courtyard of Giles' apartment, thankful yet again for both the shade and the privacy it afforded. The Sun was rising in the distance, and both Angelus and Drusilla looked sick about it. She needed them alive (in a manner of speaking) to get this done, so she hustled them towards the door. That was when they heard Willow scream, scream in such a way that Buffy had never heard before. There was fear, pure unadulterated terror in her friend's voice, but also heartbreak and sorrow.
"Xander!" Angelus roared and threw himself into the apartment - or he tried, before he bounced off of the invisible barrier they'd constructed when they'd found the Disinvitation Spell. "Let me in, Slayer!" he howled, sounding positively deranged. His face was in its demonic and looked fiercer and angrier than she'd ever seen it as his claws plowed into the spell barrier again and again. Drusilla dropped to her knees, clutching her head and whimpering with terror. Buffy didn't need to be told twice; she threw herself through the doorway and screamed behind her "Come in!" to Angelus and Drusilla as she ran for the stairs.
She never reached them, not before Willow, Giles, and Cordelia, all screaming, flew through the banister with a nasty crunch and fell to the ground with a heart-stopping thud that stopped Buffy in her tracks. She ran to them as Angelus sprinted toward the stairs and Oz ran to Willow, but then Angelus suddenly flew through the air and landed next to them.
Buffy stared at the stairway in horror as…something stepped up at the second floor landing, staring down at them calmly. It walked toward the break in the banister and jumped down, spreading its wings slightly so that it landed on its feet as lightly as a feline. Buried in there was Xander, she tried to remind herself. But the demon's features were harsh and angular where Xander's had been slightly rounded and welcoming, horns sprouted from its forehead, black veins arced over its body, and its hair was ebon black and spiked out with some form of electricity.
Its body was powerfully muscular, with a marble tinge save for the black veins. The black wings spread like inkblots until they took up half the living room, and the thing spread its hands and displayed fearsome claws at the end. Fangs, long and wicked sharp as a viper's grew in its mouth, and when it opened its eyes they were glowing yellow, with no pupil or iris. Just yellow, burning hot with power and pure evil. Buffy jerked away from it as every sense in her body, Slayer and otherwise, screamed about this thing's power and its evil and how she wanted to be three countries away from it before she stopped running.
The demon's eyes narrowed when it saw her, and then it threw back its head and sniffed the air. It smirked when it caught her scent, and opened its mouth. "Slayer," it said, but its voice was multilayered and freaky as hell. She heard Xander's voice and a deep evil baritone voice and a light whispering voice and an animal growl all at once when it spoke, and it sent shudders through her.
"Xander?" she whispered, hope withering and dying in her heart at the thing's smile.
"Not anymore," it said, and then in blink of wings it was next to her and its fist was flying through the air. It hit her like a freight train and she flew maybe five feet before a wall obligingly met her back, stopping her flight. She screamed in pain and slid down, stars dancing before her eyes as she landed, shuddering. It laughed, sounding like nails on a chalkboard as it flexed and spread its wings, marveling in its own body.
She was surprised to realize that the hysterical sobbing was coming from her.
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"We have to run!" Marie-Claire screamed behind her as she sprinted down Willshire Boulevard, the rest of them fighting to keep up. Jenny was trailing behind with the Master and Mistress of the Guard, both of whom were carrying a struggling Laurana, who was still whimpering and lashing out at the visions in her mind.
"Why don't we just teleport?" Mathu asked exasperatedly as he labored to keep up. He was more out of shape than he would have liked to admit, and he hated that Marie-Claire seemed to be having less trouble than most of them. His cheek was still stinging where that stupid little bitch had slapped him, and as he felt a stitch in his side he glared with absolute hatred at the Lady of the Lake as she sprinted in front of him.
He sighed, dismissing this. The rest of them could hold as many romantic notions as they liked about sparing the insignificant little bastard who was possessed by the creature, but soon they'd see things his way. He felt the waves of power they were following call to him, and he kept silent as he felt a dark part of him answering to that call with a wild freedom that the rest of him envied as he ran along.
What would happen to that song of power he could hear when they killed the creature? He shook his head as he found himself wanting it to continue.
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Angelus stared up at the creature that had taken over his boy, his Xander, and he felt a bolt of pure rage dance through his being as he threw himself to his feet. The thing turned to him, and for a moment he tried desperately to see Xander in the demon in front of him. He had a disorienting feeling of what it must have felt like for his family before they'd died, and he shook it off irritably. He had to find a way to get Xander back before…
"Xander!" he yelled, warily circling the thing. He'd seen just how fast it was, and felt how hard it hit; he didn't want to end up like the Slayer, who was only now getting to her feet.
"Simple creature," the beast said scornfully, the sneer twisting its face only adding to the ugliness of its being. "Did you truly not suspect how I played you for the fool you are? You were merely a pawn in my game, and you rose to the occasion magnificently." The pure experience of listening to this thing's voice, the unbridled power and rage and unadulterated evil that slammed into you all at once, like a sensory overload, was enough to make even the mighty Angelus flinch back.
"Pawn?" he demanded angrily, trying to regain his equilibrium. "I'm no one's pawn!"
"Oh, but of course you are," it said with an amused smirk. "Ever since that stupid cunt of a Slayer wandered into town it has gotten harder and harder to tempt our precious Xander to finding me…until you came, and tempted him for me."
"No," Angelus snarled flatly.
"Yes," the beast said with a calm arrogance. "All I had to do was wave a few flags in your face about his heritage and you were leaping to Claim your Cruor Aduro without a thought to how this information really came to you. You…vampires" it spat the word out distastefully, like a curse, "are all the same. You dare to call yourselves demons when at your core you are more human than human beings. You are a plague among our kind that I will gladly purge this world of, when my brethren and I resume our rightful Thrones."
It roared in unexpected pain when Buffy took the opportunity of having the thing distracted and leapt up, grabbing onto Giles' chandelier and using it to swing herself like Tarzan into the demon's head, her heeled boot slamming into the back of its head with a nasty smacking noise. It stumbled, losing the feline grace as it tried to find its footing.
"What the fuck are you doing, Slayer?!" Angelus roared. "Xander's still in there!" He was torn between wanting to join her in beating the hell out of the creature and wanting to throttle her for touching his boy…or what was left of him.
"We need him unconscious, jackass!" she screamed at him as she pressed her advantage, grabbing the thing's head and slamming it face-first into her leather-clad knee. She yelped in pain as one of its horns tore through the material, and shoved it off of her, slamming her foot into its face.
"Damn it," Angelus cursed, and leapt on the creature's back, trapping its wings before it could gain its equilibrium. He squeezed his arm around its throat, trusting the still humanoid body that it was possessing to still need air to remain conscious. He refused to think of Xander, only thinking of the fight at hand. He'd survive this, he vowed to himself.
Buffy used the distraction on the demon's back and slammed her fist into its solar plexus, making the already gasping creature struggle even more for breath. She leapt up to its face and slammed her hand over its mouth, plugging its nose in the process. The demon roared in frustration and grabbed her by the waist, crushing her until she yelled and let go of its face. It then swung her up in the air like a rag doll and slammed her body into Angelus' face. Angelus roared in pain but clung on like a burr, tenaciously tightening its grip on the creature's throat.
"Buffy!" Willow screamed, just coming around. She ran to her fallen friend, but the demon lashed out with a foot, and Willow had to throw herself to the floor to avoid the kick. Her hair ruffled in the breeze of its passing, and she shuddered as the cold wind washed over her. Angelus was thankful for that purely because he knew that if they ever did get Xander back he'd never forgive himself if his possessed body hurt Willow.
As the demon renewed its struggles for freedom, Angelus grimly held on. Fight it, Xander, he thought desperately. Fight for me. Come back to me…
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"Holy Christ on a stick," Cordelia whispered as she stumbled down what was left of Giles' staircase. Buffy, looking like she'd been through two meat grinders in the last couple of hours, was sluggishly climbing to her feet, shaking her head to clear it as Angelus was still grimly clinging to the thrashing thing in his grasp. Willow had scuttled away from it and was next to Giles by the door as the Watcher was flipping through magic books from a chest, frantically searching for a curse.
She was no fighter, but she was no coward, either. Cordelia sighed and squared her shoulders, kicked off her pumps (no way was she letting Prada come into danger from that thing), and then she grabbed Giles' coat rack and ran down the stairs swinging. The Xander/Demon had enough time to look up and snarl at her before she connected solidly with its stomach. It was like hitting concrete; she felt the shock of the impact rumble all the way up her arm.
Her gambit seemed to have worked, however; the thing yelled in pain and abruptly wheezed as Angelus tightened his hold on the thing's throat. "Cordy, duck!" Buffy yelled, and Cordelia dropped as the Slayer pulled an aerial over Cordelia's head, her fist lashing out while she was in the air and landing solidly on the thing's forehead. Buffy landed lithely and then leapt back up in the air again as the thing's foot lashed out toward her.
Cordelia figured out her strategy at once: they wanted the thing unconscious to try and get Xander back, so Angelus was trying to strangle it unconscious as Buffy ran distraction to get rid of its energy. Cordelia picked her coat rack back up and waited until Buffy went in for another lightning quick rabbit punch to its head. She grimly raised her makeshift weapon and went in for another strike.
She might not have been a total Slayerette, but there was a powerful core of goodness inside Cordelia that not a lot of people glimpsed. Xander had been one of them, and he'd respected her for it, too. That in itself was enough to convince her that this was one fight that was worth it.
Willow gave up trying to help Giles with his books, not knowing what he was looking for, and went to help Cordelia. She was sapped still from her all-nighter; the magic had sapped the energy from her very core, and she was shaking from exhaustion. But this was Xander, her brother, her friend, her love in a subtle way that she couldn't even explain to herself. This was Buffy, her sister, her girlfriend, her confidante, who had been given a burden she should never have had to bear. Even Cordelia was there, and Willow would fight for her too.
She felt Oz at her side without even looking and knew that no matter the fight he'd be there for her. Inexplicably, irrevocably, unequivocally, he'd be there, and she knew that she loved him then with every fiber of her being, loved him more fiercely than she'd thought she was capable of.
She picked up a club from the weapons chest that had been knocked askew and leapt forward, bringing it solidly down on the thing's foot. It yelled in pain and stumbled, brought to its knees. Oz darted forward and jerked her out of its retaliatory swing. Willow cheered in victory as the thing wheezed and hacked, still desperately trying to get Angelus off of his back. But the determined vampire held on, despite the deep gauges the demon's claws were carving into its face, despite the strength of the wings he was crushing.
A suspicion formed in Willow's mind at the expression on Angelus' face, at the pain it was clearly costing him to fight this thing. She didn't say anything, though; she didn't think that she could. It this was what it took to fight this thing out of her Xander, then they could deal with the consequences later.
She screamed as she saw what was coming, but it was too late. The desperate demon had seen Buffy coming for it again, and grabbed her foot before she could jump again. The Slayer went down hard, the breath knocked out of her, and the Xander/Demon twisted, leaping high into the air and falling on its back, effectively dropping Angelus ten feet down to land on Buffy with bruising force.
Stunned, the vampire finally let go. The demon sucked in breath triumphantly, shouting as it spread its wings to their full extent. "Fools!" the demon gloated, its face lit up in hellish glee. "Did you honestly think that you could defeat ME?! I watched your pathetic race created, and we ruled you! This is the best you send after me? A novice witch, a Watcher, a Slayer, a human and a werewolf?" The scorn was dripping from its terrifying voice as it took a menacing step toward them.
"I will rule again -- you'll not stop me!"
"Oh, shut up!" Cordelia snapped coldly, and the demon froze as she stalked forward without a trace of fear in her face. "Who the hell do you think you're talking to, schmuck? Rule me?! I'm the Queen here, you albino circus freak, and you're gonna listen to me when I tell you to get out of my friend right NOW!" she screamed in its face, utterly fearless.
You had to admire her at the moment, Willow reflected through her shock. Giles had no spells at his disposal, nor did she; Cordelia was standing next to the fallen bodies of their two strongest fighters, and there was not a tremor in her voice or body as she stared the thing down, regal as ever.
"Filthy human scum!" the thing screamed in rage.
"Who're you calling filthy, you stanky little hellworm?" Cordelia barked. "You don't know who you've just pissed off, pal! I'll take you down! I'm not even kidding. We'll fight. I'll win. And then I'll have you tied on a leash, licking my hand like the dog you are!"
She'd finally gone too far, apparently; the demon roared so loud that Cordelia's hair blew back from her face and Willow clapped her hands over her ears. It's fist lashed out with blinding speed; it was only that Cordelia was already jerking back from the thing that saved her. She rolled with the punch, managing to not break anything as she went flying. But she heard a tearing. No, she thought. But it was true. She looked down at her torn shirt, shredded beyond repair, and felt rage fill her.
Praying that Buffy would realize her ploy, Queen C leapt to her feet.
"You skanky little fashion victim!" she screamed. "You corpse breath asshat! This was a one of a kind Vera Bradley fashion blouse!" With that, she threw herself forward toward her shocked assailant and swung the coat rack as hard as she possibly could.
She thanked every god and goddess she'd ever heard of that the thing was clearly as arrogant as it was powerful. The arrogance was what allowed her little plan to work: in what world could a lowly human attack its magnificence after it had hit the human? So it didn't block in time to stop the blow. And no matter how powerful you are, you'll notice when a big wooden pole with metal tines smashes into you face, right between your eyes.
Both of Cordelia's gambits paid off at once; the thing stumbled back with a howl of pain and Buffy and Angelus (who had scrambled to their feet while the thing was distracted by Cordelia's mouth, then skulked away from its vision as they waited for an opening) darted forward. Cordelia felt Buffy's tiny fist clench her shirt and then she was suddenly flung out of danger. Oz caught her, growling like the wolf he was as he stuffed her behind him with Willow as he crouched forward, snarling defensively.
It was breathtaking to watch the fight. On the one hand, there was the eerie, supernatural and freakish grace and speed of the Xander/Demon as it spun, using its wings and fists and feet with devastating effect. Then there was Angelus, who was raw strength bundled with skill, moving quicker than you'd think a man so big could move. And lastly there was Buffy, who, compact as she was, was no less strong, no less brutal than the demons she fought beside and with, but with infinite more finesse, more grace as she landed blow after blow on the thing's side.
Fist met skin and blow after blow rained down on the demon. The one thing that its kind always miscalculated in humans and humanlike creatures such as vampires was the raw emotion that they were capable of feeling. And Xander was just such a person as was capable of inspiring intense loyalty in those he was loyal to. Buffy fought like a wild woman for the boy that was like her brother, for the boy whose innocence and naïveté were like beacons of good, reminding her of that which she fought for. And Angelus fought tooth and nail, down to the last blow, for the boy who he had Claimed, who had somehow tamed a beast and forced the proud Angelus to feel that most hated of human emotions.
Under the combined onslaught, the demon finally folded, collapsing onto the floor. It held its hands up and moaned in pain. Buffy, cautious, took a step forward with her fist raised, but Angelus held her back with a hand on her throat. She whipped around to glare at him, but he shook his head furiously, baring his fangs and hissing cold as a viper.
He turned, very, very gently, to the quivering figure on the floor.
"Xander?" he murmured, his voice sibilant and gentle as it slid past razor-sharp fangs. "Xander, can you hear me?"
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A new world of pain, of lots of lots of pain, and he was in it. If he wasn't burning like a hunk of charcoal he was freezing, freezing like a block of ice in the North Pole freezing and somehow despite all of this he could feel that there was something wrong like it wasn't even his body that he was in but someone else's. That or there was someone else in his body with him and didn't that squick him out just thinking of someone else in his body…
He drifted in his sea of agony, a little ship without rudder or crew, left to die, to flounder. Flounder. What a weird word, and isn't it odd how little stuff like Willow's insane vocabulary flit through his mind at times like this. Thinking of his friends is comforting now. He can draw strength from their strength.
Willow's knowledge, the magic of her love, of Willow-hugs on days when his parents were extra bad.
Buffy's strength, a core of steel as she fought so hard for a normal life but she is so much better than normal, so much better than she allows herself to think she is.
Giles' fathering, the way he always knows what to say and yet makes Xander work so much extra hard to get that approval.
Cordelia's snark to keep him interested at the same time as she tries to hide from everyone the good part of her that's buried deep. If the Wicked Witch of the West ever had a good point, then so did Cordelia.
Angel…Angelus…it was hard to navigate between the two. He loved them both equally, with passion that burned like fire and chilled like ice. It was an interesting sensation; like being in love with someone who has multiple personalities and loving the alternate personality as much as the real person.
This leads to another thought of who is the real Angel: the soul or the demon? Both? Thinking of Angel in either of his incarnations brings so much pain that Xander shrinks back from it. Thinking of Angelus and their passion together reminds him that he's alive. Xander has a sense that whatever's squatting inside of him doesn't like it when Xander kicks back inside his mind.
This makes Xander angry, because he's always hated hated hated to lose control, and to have it torn from him like this, not even giving him a choice, is even worse.
He starts to feel dissociated from everything around him. It's odd, because he feels strangely like he's being hurt. By something. Someone?
Then there's something moving his lips and there's sounds coming out but he's not talking. And there's more pain. More darkness. He wants so bad to speak but he can't speak because something else is talking for him…
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"Angelus?" a tiny voice answered back, a Xander-voice, and the whole room froze. "I'm cold," the voice said, and the thing looked up and there was Xander's chocolate brown puppy eyes gazing up tragically at them all. "Buffy? Willow? Where am I?"
Buffy made a strangled noise at the pain in Xander's voice as the demon body shook and shivered, hunched in on itself. Willow shuddered and tried to step forward, but Oz stopped her with another growl. "Back off, Bucky," Cordelia snapped, but Oz snarled at her too and herded his charges away from the demon. His every sense was tingling with hellish magic and he would not let those he loved and called friends near that…thing.
"It's okay, Xander," Buffy whispered, stepping forward.
"Buffy, be careful," Giles said anxiously, watching his Slayer take a step toward what was both the most terrifying demon they'd ever faced and the boy that was like his son. Could they believe this? Was it a trick? Suddenly, his view was blocked by a book. He jerked back and started as he saw Drusilla holding a slim, ancient volume open to a specific page. She put a finger over her lips and danced slowly toward Angelus, a secret smile on her face.
"Angelus, she's scaring me," Xander's voice said feebly, and Drusilla let out a cackle worthy of a horror film.
"It thinks to fool with lies and tricks, but it cannot to those who would see it licked," she sing-songed. She pointed at the Xander/Demon and growled. "Lies! Make it stop telling lies about poor little brother, Daddy!" She stamped her foot.
"Shut up, Drusilla!" Buffy said shrilly. "You're scaring Xander--"
"No, she's not," Angelus said flatly.
"Angel?" Xander whispered weakly.
"You're not Xander," the vampire answered back flatly, rage making his voice shake. He could feel rage and fear as he felt that same ever present wrongness with his Cruor Aduro, his boy, his mate and he could do absolutely nothing about it, nothing to make the wrong stop and heal the hurt that he had somehow inadvertently been tricked into causing.
"LOOK OUT!" Willow screamed suddenly, tasting the power in the air. But it was of course too late; though the ruse itself had not worked, the demon had managed to buy itself time. It grinned and Xander's eyes disappeared to be replaced with the predator's eyes of the thing inside of him. It threw out its hands and a ripple of power displaced the air. It slammed into the Slayer and the vampire with the force of a Mack truck and threw them through the air. Buffy slammed through the stair banister and landed with a thud on the stairs, sliding down them and landing on her arm hard enough that everyone heard the crack of it breaking and winced. Angelus flew straight back into the door with a sickening thud and the door fell off its hinges. He rolled out into the deadly sunlight, coming to with a scream as his uncovered arm caught fire and he threw himself back into the apartment, rolling to a stop next to Giles.
"And so it ends in ashes," the thing whispered exultantly. It lifted its hands and a fireball appeared in them, growing huge and horrible. It was a hellish black flame that flickered like a freakish strobe, gaining heat as it grew.
"Bad dogs must be sent to bed!" Drusilla yelled, pointing accusingly at the demon. It turned to her and snarled like an angry lion as it took a step toward her. This was the distraction that Giles had been waiting for. He darted forward, grabbed Willow's hand, and threw his hand out and screamed "SOMNUS PER VOX DE LUNA!"
The effect was instantaneous; the thing toppled forward as if it had been hit over the head with a cast iron skillet and collapsed, the fireball extinguishing itself in its hands. Giles and Willow both collapsed, Willow into Oz's hands, Giles on the floor as his nose started gushing blood. Cordelia turned on shaky legs to survey the apartment…or what was left of it. And the Scooby Gang…or what was left of that, too.
The apartment looked like a grenade had been tossed in the front door. The furniture of the front room was crushed in pieces; torn to shreds. Giles' possessions lay shattered near the remains of his shelves, strewn about the room. The pictures had been knocked off the walls, while giant holes and chunks of the wall were scattered about. The rail of the stairs had been ripped apart in at least two places, and was bent in others. At the bottom of the stairs, Buffy was slowly struggling to her feet.
The Slayer had two spectacular black eyes around her busted nose. Blood ran over her face from several nasty looking scratches, and dripped from her busted lip. Her clothes were torn, hinting at more wounds, and her left arm was bent at a very wrong angle. Every movement, hell, breathing was painful enough to knock her to her knees, but still Buffy stood. She knew no other way.
The doorway was destroyed and the door lay in ruins in the courtyard of the apartment. Angelus stood in the doorway, bleeding from half a dozen cuts, bruising all over. The strange, alien folds of his demonic face only made the sight more gruesome to behold. He was pale and trembling; he needed to feed soon or he'd snap. He shrugged out of his customary duster; the thing was destroyed from the creature's claws. Drusilla, the only one in the room who didn't look the worst for wear, went to aid her Sire.
Oz, who had mostly escaped unscathed other than some bruises, was helping Giles and Willow try and stand up. It had taken a large force of will from the Watcher and the witch to force the spell to work within the mind of the creature, and it was telling on them: their eyes looked like they'd have permanent bruising, and Giles nose was dripping blood. Willow was trembling with exhaustion, and when Oz finally got her to her feet she had to lean on him for support because her legs wouldn't hold her up. Giles managed to stagger to his feet and stumble toward Buffy.
Cordelia was going to have some nasty bruises, but she was only bleeding from a cut on her cheek, which she could feel would stop soon. Her shirt, her precious shirt, was trash, of course. She tried to remind herself that it was worth it, and consoled herself with the fact that her shoes were safe, at the very least. Completing her assessment (and hoping to hell that the Watcher's Council had some serious pay, because no way was Giles gonna be able to fix all of this), she hesitantly turned toward the Xander/Demon.
In sleep some of the horror of its appearance had been drained. It no longer radiated malice and power -- instead it had curled in on itself like a cat, its wings twitching slightly with every breath. There was a peace, boyish almost, on the thing's face that brought a powerful twist to her gut because of how much it reminded her of Xander whenever he was napping in the library. She felt a thrill of horror. Xander was such a creature of light, of sun and smiles -- this…thing was a perversion of everything that Xander stood for. She choked back bile at the demonic features twisting Xander's features and turned away quickly, stifling a sob. She wouldn't cry. Not now. Later, when these idiots didn't need her strength, she could break down. But now Queen C squared her shoulders and headed off to her subjects.
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Well, the pain was gone, at the very least. He had a sense that his body was sleeping, but he really rather thought that he shouldn't be able to tell that. All he knew was that whatever was hurting him was asleep too. So he could relax. He couldn't control his body. But he could dream. Xander was a champion at dreaming, daydreaming especially. Xander didn't have the most impressive vocabulary, so when he and the girls played "Anywhere But Here" they always thought that he was unoriginal. But if they'd been able to get in his head when he was really using his overactive imagination, they'd be shocked.
He closed his eyes and surrendered to the dream…
Xander opened his eyes in the sunlight. It was the most amazing place where he was. He was safe and warm, and he knew that he was safe in that absolute belief that a child has. He delighted in that childish truth. He was innocent as a child. Safe as a child. Because when you're a child, you know that all is good. The world is good and safe, and God's in Heaven, and He (She) has always got His (Her) eye on you. It's when you get older that you suddenly have to question stuff. You learn stuff. And it hurts.
He sat up and found himself on a hill of the softest grass he'd ever felt in his life. It was like laying in feathers, but so much better because you could just smell that first day of summer smell in the air, and the clouds were like swirly buttermilk, shaping out stories that he could read all day if he could just lie on his back alone and not care about anything else. The air hummed as if with some secret magic that somehow he could feel in every cell of his body which was weird because Willow was the witch. For some weird reason, this felt very familiar to him, as if his subconscious was plucking the image out of a memory. But he couldn't remember the memory.
He knew he wasn't alone. Could feel the eyes on him. So he turned around and wasn't in the least surprised to see Angel there, Angel the Gorgeous of the brooding brow and soulful eyes and constant quest for redemption. "Hey, Angel. What's shakin'?" Xander asked casually. "You're really frickin' pale, dude," he noted as the sun hit Angel's skin. It was a beautiful pale though, of course, making him look like he was carved out of diamond.
"Occupational hazard," Angel said, and Xander was surprised at the bolt of pain that shot through him at the sound of Angel's sad yet hopeful voice. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed that in the couple of months that he'd been with Angelus. Angel gave him a smile and Xander felt like he was being ripped in two.
It had been such a long time ago that he'd realized he was in love with Angel; so much had changed since then. He'd been such a petty teenager, Xander thought, slightly depressed. All he'd known at the time was that he was crushing hard for Buffy, who, in the way of teenage angst everywhere, only saw him as a brother. So Angel had stepped in as the gorgeous boyfriend who was designed to make Xander feel small.
So Xander had tried hard to ignore how every time he saw Angel a strange sort of jerk went though his whole body, sending tingles everywhere -- the good tingles that you get when you put your arms out and spin spin spin until the blood is pumping everywhere and all you can do is laugh crazy. He'd tried to ignore how every time Angel accidentally touched him a burst of nerves at the base of his spine started dancing the conga. He'd gotten good at ignoring it. But Angel kept saving him. And they'd talk sometimes.
And one night in Xander's room the boy had been listening to his parents fight and thinking about how Angel had walked him home the other night and actually bothered to give him an apologetic look when the vampire had heard the drunken shouts of Tony Harris. And suddenly it crashed into Xander like a ton of bricks. He was in love with Angel! Absolutely hearts and flowers cross your heart in love!
So he'd gone through about three weeks of my god I'm gay and I'm a sissy and all that crap that Tony had shoved down his throat before he'd finally gotten the nerve to talk to Larry about it. He'd figured that after the locker room thing Larry owed him. And Larry had proven surprisingly easy to talk to about stuff like that, and Xander had started to be okay with it.
And then.
And then Buffy had had her disastrous tryst with Angel, who had hopefully never ever known of the way that Xander would steal looks at him (while telling himself sternly that he couldn't mack on Buffy's boyfriend) or draw stupid hearts with A+X in the middle. Angel, who had hopefully never known that Xander always despaired around him because Angel was just so fucking perfect and Xander was just Xander so even if Buffy didn't exist and Angel was interested in guys there was no way in hell he'd ever notice Xander anyway.
Didn't stop him from feeling jealous when the truth had come out about how Angel had lost his soul. He'd hated himself for that feeling of course; how sociopathic can you get when you're jealous of your friend for something like that? So he'd been all supporto guy like always through the whole thing.
And then there was Angelus.
And poor Xander had been so damn caught up in falling in love with Angelus and everything that happened since then that he hadn't stopped to think about Angel much. He'd just gone with it. So now it was with a sort of surprise that he looked at Angel and felt all that old pain back and then some. He'd always love Angel, Xander realized then. He just loved Angelus as well. He couldn't figure out which one was more sick.
"You're quiet today, Xander," Angel pointed out, and Xander drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.
"I'm thinking," Xander sighed. Angel chuckled, that lovely chuckle that was just so damn rusty because the vampire was so used to punishing himself for feeling even slightly happy. "What?" Xander said with a goofy grin at the sound of Angel laughter.
"You're just usually irritated when accused of thinking, is all," Angel said easily. Xander wondered at the comfort level of the vampire's tone, but then, this was a dream, so whatever.
"I do think, sometimes. I had this old teacher who used to call it woolgathering, which I thought was weird because what does sheep have to do with thinking? Couldn't you just say daydreaming? And then she got all huffy and she said that it was just an expression and I said that it didn't make sense and she got all rawr and started acting like I was stupid and I was like--" Xander blushed. Angel always made him babble, babble worse than Willow when she was on a caffeine binge.
"You don't have to stop," Angel said softly. He had that kicked puppy look on his face that he always got when he was concerned that he wasn't acting human enough and had somehow inadvertently hurt someone's feelings.
"Why do you have to be so damn good?" Xander demanded. Angel looked a little taken aback at this. "It would make this whole getting over you thing a lot easier if you weren't so friggin' perfect. I bet I wouldn't even have a crush on you if you weren't all smart and good looking. If you were just one or the other. But you have to be both. It's really not fair at all."
"I'm sorry," Angel said, but he was smiling now and Xander smiled back. It was infectious. This place was infectious, this lovely dream world, and he wasn't sure that he ever wanted to leave.
"I feel sick about you, you know," Xander went on conversationally. "It's weird because I really miss you but Angelus…" He trailed off awkwardly. "Sometimes I think that it would be so good to have you back but then I think it'd be awful because now that I've tasted Angelus, so to speak, it would hurt even more when you went back to Buffy."
"I didn't mean for anyone to care about me," Angel said softly. He looked truly sorry that he was inadvertently causing Xander pain. "I just wanted to fight for my redemption. Then there was Buffy, and then I felt guilty because of how young she was and how I was distracting her. And I felt guilty because I loved her but I couldn't help but notice you because I could smell your attraction from across a room ((Xander blushed here, mortified, but Angel didn't notice)), and it just hurt because I always seem to cause pain. I don't even know if I believe in my redemption anymore," he confessed, shamefaced.
"That's stupid," Xander said firmly. "You're the best person I know, under Buffy. You fight so hard to correct something that wasn't really your fault. You got turned into a demon, and now you've made the choice to fight to be better than that and to make up for that. So don't rag on yourself so much. You do good. And it might hurt me now but I'd rather have known you and loved you anyway than not have known you at all."
He hadn't even noticed that he'd gotten himself so worked up until Angel put his hand on Xander's arm to get him to calm down. When Xander took a breath Angel was suddenly so close, so close, Xander was drowning in those damn dreamy eyes, and why was it that he never felt girly about the gay thing until Angel?
"I never realized that you cared that much, Xander," Angel said softly.
And this was a dream. So Xander decided that it would be okay to kiss Angel, just this once, so he leaned forward and he wasn't surprised that Angel responded to the kiss because it was just like Angel to give him this, just this once. Angel's lips were soft and firm all at once. He didn't kiss with the heated possession of Angelus, he kissed like he had all day, like they had eternity to feel each other's lips. It was the sweetest, most innocent kiss of Xander's life, and it made him tremble from his head to his toes as that sweet rush of tingly feeling that he always felt around Angel shot through him.
And somehow he wasn't hard. Because this wasn't about sex. This was something pure, unmarred by tawdry lust. This was what people wrote ballads about and this is why the Trojan War was fought, this was what Xander found in Angel's kiss. He was sobbing when Angel pulled back, and Angel gently drew him to him and carefully, as if Xander was made of porcelain, kissed each tear away.
So Xander gave in and kissed him again.
This kiss was hard and possessing, and it thrilled every nerve in his body. He poured himself into this kiss and wasn't surprised when he nicked fang and a plundering tongue stole boldly into his mouth and moaned at the flavor. When Xander pulled back Angelus was licking his lips, his strange, beautiful demonic face smiling at Xander with that unbridled demonic passion that Angelus gave to his boy.
"I love you," Xander blurted.
"I know," Angelus said with a smirk.
Where Angel was soft, Angelus was hard. Somehow there was a difference between the two of them, and Xander had a sense that for his own sanity he had to find that difference or he'd be lost…
In fear I hurried this way and that…I had the taste of blood and chocolate in my mouth, the one as hateful as the other.
The line stepped into his mind out of nowhere. As Angelus claimed him with fang, tongue and cock again and again, Xander wept to himself. He loved them both, his demon and his angel, his lover and his friend. But this madcap affair with Angelus had set so many bad things in motion. And he, Xander, had stood aside and watched everything burn because that was his choice. The dream Angelus suddenly disappeared and instead there was a mirror and on one side was Angel and on the other Angelus. And next to each one was a Xander. The one next to Angelus was somehow gorgeous, powerful, a demon's mate who was respected if not feared by all. By Angel's side was a sun-kissed human boy who was laughing with a carefree joy as he bandaged a child, Angel putting his hand on Light Xander's shoulder with a smile of his own.
Both were his future.
One was his choice.
He was going to have to make a choice, soon. He was going to have to pay for actions, own up to his mistakes, and accept the consequences of his choices. Either way. But there were two ways to go. One was dark. One was light.
Which would he choose?
Angel or Angelus?
Chocolate or blood?
888
"So what are we going to do now?" Cordelia asked as everyone limped toward Giles. The Watcher sighed and ran his hand through his hair, and Cordelia prayed that no one but her noticed the way Angelus was staring at Giles' bleeding nose. She casually stepped on his foot and the vampire flicked a glance her way. Cordelia gave him a cheerful grin and mimed staking him. Angelus sneered her way but stepped aside.
"Now…now it's his turn," Buffy said quietly, cradling her arm. She glared daggers at Angelus. "You tell us what the hell you did to him and we reverse it. Demon's gone, Xander's back, and then we fight to the death," she elaborated without a trace of emotion in her voice. Willow jerked away, shocked.
"Buffy--"
"The Slayer's right, witch. That's how this thing has to end," Angelus said flatly. He probably would have sounded a lot more menacing if he wasn't so haggard and pale and stooped in pain. Buffy sneered at him, but the sneer turned into a grimace of pain as her broken arm twanged. Angelus took a step toward her, growling, but suddenly he was being shoved back.
"Stop it!" Willow snapped angrily, standing on her own, her eyes dark with fury. "This is not about you two! This is about Xander! So you're gonna help us or I'm gonna light you on fire!" She emphasized her threat with a vicious poke to one of Angelus' wounds. The vampire jerked back, snarling angrily, but Drusilla put a quelling hand on his arm. He assessed the situation and realized that she was right. He needed blood, and soon, or a fly would be able to kick his ass. Buffy might be almost out of the fight but the Watcher and the witch looked quite ready to tear his head off, and the cheerleader looked like she'd be cheering them on while the werewolf helped them.
Furious as he was, the rematch would have to wait. He took a deep, unneeded breath, and glanced at Xander. The thing possessing him had marred his sweet boy's precious features, had stolen away that innocence that Angelus somehow craved like a drug. He remembered the promise he had made to the boy when he'd first taken him: that he, Angelus, would be the most important thing in the boy's life, the center. Somehow, Xander had become that for him. He was like a lost planet, held in orbit by Xander's sun. Somehow, when he was with Xander, Angelus had just a taste of that glorious redemption that his soul had always searched for.
He knew at that moment that he'd do whatever it took to save the boy, whatever it took to bring Xander back so that he could see those big puppy eyes light up as the boy smiled wide enough to hurt. Whatever it took to bring him back. He felt his true face fade to be replaced by the mask of humanity, and the slight dulling of his senses that it brought. He still had higher senses compared to any human but the smell of blood in the room was slightly less tempting now. He needed his wits about him for this conversation.
"When I first took Xander it was because--"
Later, reflecting, everyone would be surprised at the power that Willow seemed to have buried inside of her in spades. It had taken so much out of her to lend her power to Giles to complete the Sleeping Spell, had taken so much out of her to stay up as late as she had trying to heal Xander's wounds. But it was still she who had sensed the burst of power speeding for Giles' apartment, still she who screamed the warning.
Reaching deep inside herself for what she didn't know she possessed, Willow threw her arms out like a shield and screamed "Protesai!" She had heard stories of mothers whose loved ones were in danger and had performed amazing feats of strength. Well, she had been through hell and back these last months, and had been put through what no teenager should have to go through these last hours. She was beyond exhausted. She was also beyond furious. Her vision blurred red as she hit her last reserves and felt the shield of magic rip out of her and slam into the oncoming spell like a Mack truck slamming into a rhino.
All the others heard was Willow screaming what sounded like NO and a spell when they heard what sounded like a crack of the loudest thunder in existence. There was a ripple of pure power as the two spells met each other head on, a ripple that resounded back, cracking the very walls of the apartment and shaking the ground hard enough to make everyone nearly tumble. Buffy shrieked in pain as her broken arm was jostled hard enough to break it even worse, but Willow didn't even hear her; all she could focus on was keeping her shield up, no matter the cost.
Giles, divining the situation, yelled "To Willow!" He threw himself forward and grabbed her hand. Understanding, Oz and Cordelia rushed to Willow's side and grabbed hold of her. Willow greedily drew on the energies of the three like a psychic vampire and felt her shield solidify until even Cordelia could see the swirling blue bubble of magical energy that extended about three feet out of the apartment. Buffy stumbled over and laid her hand on Willow's shoulder, and the shield glowed even brighter.
It was the strangest sensation, having your energy leeched from you, almost like your whole body was falling asleep and the painful tingles were buzzing through each and every part of you. At the same time it was almost painful, like a buildup of static electricity between your eyes that kept getting worse and worse instead of better.
In Willow's mind's eye, she could feel the imprint of the intruders who had cast the Stunning Spell, standing in the courtyard. There were four magic-users who she did not know, and one that she did - Jenny. Willow ignored this; she could feel no intent to harm from her teacher. She focused on the four she did not know. Two were of exceptional strength, but she could feel that they were more on the defensive if anything else: protectors. The other twos' auras shone like search beacons of pure power. She'd never felt anything like it. One's aura was darker than the other, had a taste of power and greed. The other was like the Moon: shining, bright, white, and also icy and merciless.
Her vision was suddenly blocked, as if someone had cottoned on to the fact that she was sensing them. Too late, she noticed a fifth, clearly a Seer or a psychic, and before Willow could get a good read of her aura, the unknown fifth had blocked her out. Okay, Willow thought. Two can play at that game. She focused some of her power on duplicating the trick, and when the tendril of psychic energy that the opposing party sent in to probe, all they could sense was Willow. To the outsiders, it would feel as if there was only Willow inside, a witch powerful enough to hold them off on her own. She hoped that her ruse would trick them into leaving, because even drawing on the others' energies, she didn't know how long her shield would hold against another spell like the first.
"In the name of the Goddess, we wish peaceful entry," a voice rang out, bodiless, through the room. It was a powerful psychic voice, the voice of a Frenchwoman, and Willow could feel a part of her who liked the voice and a part of her who warned the other part to not trust her. Willow didn't say anything, but Giles tugged on her sleeve.
"In the name of the God, do you swear you will not attack without due warning?" Giles whispered in her ear, and Willow reluctantly relayed the message. There was a long pause outside, and Willow had a sense that the group was arguing in and of itself. She waited, trying not to notice the stars that were starting to pop in her vision and the shaking in her limbs, and the way the others looked ready to fall asleep.
"We do so swear," a male's voice responded. This voice was unpleasant, harsh and grating, and Willow knew at once that this belonged to the man of the darker aura. She didn't trust him at all, but she knew that these words were ceremonial in magic. They'd sworn themselves by Goddess and God, so any offensive magic would neutralize itself inside the confines of the apartment. They couldn't send an attack inside, either, so Willow finally lowered her shield. She staggered back against Giles, and he caught her.
"I'm so proud of you, Willow," he whispered, squeezing her comfortingly. She gave him an exhausted smile before Oz gently took her in his arms. She went gladly; she was completely spent. Even if the others broke their word and managed to get around the magical injunction, there would be nothing she could do about it. She'd done her bit. She'd have to see if the others could handle it without her.
Angelus took a position protectively over the still sleeping Xander/Demon, his fangs bared. Drusilla seated herself on the stairs, humming softly to herself, her wide, mad eyes flicking this way and that all over the apartment. Willow didn't want to know what the vampiress was seeing then.
They all looked up cautiously as the other group slowly entered the apartment.
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Jenny winced when she entered the apartment. She felt Rupert's eyes on her, among others, like a scream of betrayal. She didn't let herself flinch. She deserved it. Her eyes widened as she took in the wreckage of the apartment. It looked like a tornado had struck it; there was not a thing left uncracked or unbroken. She froze in shock when she saw that Rupert had extended an invitation to both Angelus and Drusilla. And she let out a small scream when she saw the thing that had taken over Xander.
She could feel Marie-Claire's disapproving glance, but she ignored it. The thing was sleeping now, but she could still feel the pure darkness of power running off of it in psychotic waves. But somehow, in sleep, she could feel something light underneath it all, something that was pure Xander and nothing else. She shuddered as she was wracked with a wave of guilt and doubt and again she had to wonder if she was doing the right thing.
"Who are you?" Buffy said flatly, ignoring Jenny's presence. The Slayer sized up the envoy and was clearly weighing her chances of taking them out, even though she was very obviously grievously injured.
"I am the Lady of the Lake, Mistress of the Isle of Avalon," Marie-Claire announced simply, holding the Slayer's gaze. "This is my counterpart, the Lord of the Druids and Master of the Isle, as well as our two guards and my Seer, Larana." She indicated the rest of her party. "I believe that you are already acquainted with Janna," she said casually. Now Jenny felt eyes on her. She slowly sank down a wall and seated herself on the floor, refusing to meet anyone's eyes.
"Avalon? But it's said you never leave the Isle," Giles protested, cautiously stepping closer to Buffy. He clearly didn't trust them to tell the truth.
"Normally, we don't, Watcher," she responded. "But this is an emergency, one that we have been preparing ourselves for for the last few thousand years." Jenny watched the Master and Mistress of the Guard slowly flank the Lord and Lady, forming a point that would allow them to summon a cone of power if it was necessary. Jenny closed her eyes. She didn't want to watch anymore. She didn't want to know that in the coming moments she would have to make a choice. She didn't want to know that she'd already made her choice and it was impossible to change the outcome.
Goddess, help me…
888
"So why are you here, then?" Buffy asked tiredly. She was in so much pain that breathing was agony, she was physically exhausted, she was mentally and emotionally stretched beyond her limits. She wasn't sure how much she could take before going homicidal. So judging by the way Willow had shielded them before these people had come in, it made Buffy think that she might have to attack them. How she'd manage to win, she wasn't yet sure, but she'd noticed the way the two burly goons had flanked the leaders, and she was already strategizing taking them out first.
"I think that's rather a good question," Giles said. He, like most who have studied the occult, had heard whispers of the Avalon Coven, and most of it was unbelievable. However, the power rolling off of these two was enough to make him rethink his position. Still, if they were here, now, he had a thought of why they were here. And it would be over his dead body that they took another step. His face hardened into stone.
"I think you know quite well why we're here, Watcher," the leader man said coldly. "From the looks of your home, it seems as if you've spent quite a bit of energy trying to do the exact same thing."
"If you think for one second that you're touching a hair on this boy's head, I'll kill you myself," Giles said quietly, his voice radiating an enormous amount of menace in the levelness of its tone. He stared straight into the other man's eyes, daring him to take another step.
"I am not sure that you understand--" the Lady began, frowning, but Buffy cut her off.
"We understand perfectly. If you're here to help us, then that's fine. If you're here to hurt Xander, I'll tear your heads off. It's really not that difficult of a concept to master, Frenchie," Buffy snapped, her voice dripping acid as she moved to stand beside Giles.
"How dare you speak to the Lady so!" the female guard said, livid with rage, taking an undisciplined step forward. Buffy noted this and calculated her chances of taunting the bitch into a fight.
"I'll speak to her however I want if she thinks she's here to hurt one of my friends," Buffy stated flatly.
"You're a Slayer," the other girl answered in disgust. "And you ally yourself to protect this creature? If you truly loved your friend you would let us do what needs to be done!"
"Say something else and you won't say another word," Buffy warned. The girl sneered and took another step and Buffy exploded into action. She tucked her wounded arm in and spun like a top, her unhurt fist smashing into the girl's face like a wrecking ball. She yelped and stumbled back, instinctively hurling out a defensive spell. The air wavered from her hand gesture, but nothing happened. Everyone from the Avalon group froze.
"Clever," the lead man said quietly.
"You'd be surprised," Willow said simply, and stood on Giles' other side. Where she went, Oz followed. Cordelia joined the line with a smirk. Drusilla was strangely quiet, still. She surveyed the room with unblinking black eyes. Angelus stayed where he was, protectively over Xander, snarling.
"Is that enough of an answer for you?" Giles asked coldly.
"Yes," the Lady said softly. She surveyed them with wise eyes, and in them there was a deep sadness as she contemplated her next move. "You don't understand why we're here, clearly. The one who began this is here, so you perhaps have worked out that there is a story that needs must be told, in order for understanding to be gained." She gestured to Angelus as she spoke.
"So you know what's happened to Xander?" Willow asked.
"Yes, child. It is an evil thing, an ancient darkness that we have feared above all else and that we have prayed would never come to pass. But it was fated that it would happen. Just as it was fated that we would fight it. But you have my word on this, my word as Lady of Avalon: we will not move to fight you until you have heard the story, weighed our words, and can make an informed decision on which side you stand."
Buffy jerked them back to where Angelus stood. "Willow, can they hear us?"
"Not in here," Willow answered. "The agreement we made with them has negated their magic in here. Even if they decide to fight us about this, they'd need to somehow get Xander out of this apartment to try it."
"So, is this a trick?" Buffy asked her friends. They were all in this together now, and she'd not make a decision without their input.
"Of course it is, you heard them, Slayer," Angelus snapped impatiently. "They can't use their magic in here; we should throw them out now while we have a chance!"
"Oh, what are you gonna do, limp on them?" Cordelia asked acidly. "There isn't a person in this room who could stand up to them right now without getting knocked the hell out, except maybe Willow. But she can't really take a punch," she continued irritably. "And stop growling at me, cause it's getting really annoying!"
"They want to hurt Xander; I agree with Angelus on this one," Willow said flatly.
"Giles?" Buffy asked.
"Well…the Moon Coven is not evil. In fact it is rather a powerful force of good. But they might not be keen on helping what we want -- to them, it might be better to let Xander die than let the chance of whatever's inside of him continue to live; they're obviously afraid of it, and it takes a lot of power to frighten the Isle of Avalon," the Watcher said. "I'm not sure how much help I can give on this decision."
"I think we should hear them out," Cordelia said. The others stared daggers at her, and she sighed exasperatedly as she explained herself. "We're only gonna get one side of the story from growl guy here, right?" She indicated Angelus with a jerk of her chin. "So we should get the whole story, figure out what we need to do, and then tell them to piss off and deal with it on our own."
"Sounds like a good plan to me," Oz chimed in.
"So, who votes for hearing them out and choosing from there?" Giles asked. Cordelia, Oz, Giles himself, and Buffy (reluctantly) raised their hands.
"You're making a mistake," Angelus growled desperately. Willow said nothing, but her eyes hardened. "I'll tell you whatever you want to know, do what I have to do. Don't let them near him!"
"They won't hurt Xander; they physically can't," Buffy argued. "And I don't even know them and I trust them more than I trust you to figure out what the hell is going on around here."
"It's decided then," Giles murmured. Buffy nodded flatly, and turned to face the Wiccans.
"We'll hear your story," the Slayer said, choosing her words carefully. "Then we'll decide what we're going to do."
"Agreed," the man and woman said, after a moment of silent communication. The man deferred to the woman on this; she stepped forward, the spokeswoman of the group.
"This tale begins long ago, and yet at the same time starts seventeen years ago, here, on the Hellmouth," she began. "And at its beginning and end are the boy you see before you…"
A/N: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! This chapter ate my soul! There was so much to cram in, so many emotions and issues and fights to work through! My own imagination has beaten the shit out of me!
Okay, now that that's out of the way…I am actually for once apologizing for leaving you guys with such a cliffhanger. I meant for this to be all one chapter, but it's already twenty pages long and I still have to tell Xander's story and then the end of this part and it was just too much for one installment.
As before, I am truly sorry that it's taken me a little while to update again, but as I've said, there has been a lot of crazy shit going on in my life lately. Thank Goddess this story is so emotionally fucked up that I can pour out on it.
In the manner of feedback -- what about Xander's dream, hmm? It took awhile to write that one, for obvious reasons. But you can't examine a Xander/Angel(us) without a look at both sides of the coin. And remember, Xander did fall head over heels for Angel before Angelus looked his way and started the ball rolling. So there's a Twilight-esque choice ahead for our beloved Xan Man: should he choose light or dark? Angel or Angelus?
And then there's Jenny -- a lot going on with her. If you don't like her in this story, sorry. I do. I think she's my most agonizingly emo character ever, and it's fun to vent my anger by kicking her around a little (I'm sick, I need help).
But anyway, this is the end of my little author's rant. I hope you guys enjoyed, and the next chapter shouldn't be as long and thus shouldn't take as long to write. Note I said shouldn't. The universe never exactly works as well as it should, so what do I know?
As always, I dedicate this to my readers. I love you all, and I sincerely hope that you take the time to review -- it's a little out of your day, but makes so much of mine!
Eternally
PyroPadawan.