League of Losers – Chapter 2: The L-Team

Sirens went off in the night, as Garen tripped over a trap that Irelia and the bodyguards of the Institute of War set for people trying to break in.

Mordekaiser facepalmed. "x9 Report Garen after we infiltrate this scum fortress."

Heimerdinger threw a grenade at minions guarding the entrance. "Indeed!"

Once they got through entrance one, there were three doors.

Garen looked up in bewilderment. "Uhh, who here is good at math?"

Heimerdinger threw a wrench at Garen. "You have so much time sitting in those bushes, one would think you could know basic Algebra. Ahem, 5 divided by 3 means that one person will have to inevitably go on by themselves. Quantify that data into the possible percentages times the probability that these doors actually lead somewWHE-" Garen picked up Heimer by the head mid-sentence.

"YOU FIRST!"

Garen threw Heimerdinger into the middle door, which was just a long staircase. Heimer made loud noises each stair he got hit on, until after about 5 minutes he said, "…I'm fine, I just can't feel my….everything."

"Garen, you go with Master Yi on the right. I will take the left with Urgot. Take these walkie talkies so we can keep in contact."

'Perfect. Me and Master Yi will finally prove our worthiness once we be the first champions to set foot on the fields of justice out of the League of Losers!'

They opened the door, and went off. Mordekaiser was rusting off his mace and Urgot was doing the Kirby victory dance.

"You know, Urgot, I could've been a rockstar once in my life, but instead I end up being a forgotten champion of the League of Legends. I miss the sound of torment from my victims as much as I miss the evening crowd on a great hit with my old band….those were the days I tell you."

Urgot wasn't listening, and went in the door while Mordekaiser was still talking. "Hurry up, 'Rockstar'."

Back at Master Yi and Garen's room:

"DUCK!" A spike and ball just zoomed over their heads as they were running from being flattened by a big rock. "What kind of monster would build such a thing?"

A camera spotted them, and a hysterical laugh came out of it. "How does it feel being the mouse in the cage now, big people?"

"Veigar? You're controlling this area?"

"Exactamundo! You people always use to make fun of me…well WHO IS LAUGHING NOW? EHEHEEHAHAEHAHAAHAAHA!"

Master Yi chucked a bit. "Is that little girl talking to us? He's trying to act…evil."

"I AM EVIL, STOP LAUGHING!" Veigar pushed his controls forward, and a giant log pummeled over both Yi and Garen. "DANCE YOU FOOLS! DANCE!"

Back at Urgot and Mordekaiser's room:

"…How did we get here?" While Garen and Yi ended up in a danger zone, Mordekaiser and Yi ended up in some sort of Fantasy land, with half naked champions roaming around everywhere. Riven came up to Mordekaiser in her bunny suit and got all up in him.

"You come here often, Heavy Metal?"

"Clearly not, fool!"

"Who's your Kirby looking friend?"

"That's….uh I forgot your name already…"

Urgot tried to facepalm himself, but because he had no hands he poked his right eye out. "NO! THAT WAS MY GOOD EYE! GRARRRRRRRRRRR"

"Gar, let's call him Gar. He's with me on a mission to infiltrate Summoners Rift with 3 more losers who are never drafted."

Riven was interested in what Mordekaiser had to say. "Hmm…is that so? Hey, Caitlyn!"

Caitlyn came over in a very skimpy officer outfit. "What is it now? If I go missing again, Vi will get angry…"

"It won't take too long, I was hoping you could help me find these two gents a way into Summoners Rift!"

Caitlyn put down her glasses. "Back there, but why? That place gets so boring…whereas here we can enjoy life and not have to worry about some random douchebag sitting in base all game!"

"Oh, you go girl!" Riven high fived Caitlyn, who put on her glasses again.

Mordekaiser slammed his mace to the ground. "Once again, I get more fools who just try and make my quest more tedious. How about one of you sluts find me the nearest exit to home?"

Urgot was rolling around in the background crying while green blood ran out of his mouth. They all three ignored him. Instead, Riven poked fun at Mordekaiser. "Slut? I didn't know there was anything else we could be! I betcha you won't wanna leave when you get to hang out with more of us."

"No, I'm quite seriously getting frustrated that I have to sit here and talk while there are people to shred on the battlegrounds of despair!"

Riven whistled "EVERYONE! MEET HEAVY METAL OVER HERE!" A big round of female champions surrounded them, and out of the crowd came Ahri in her summer skin.

"Hmm…how did someone like you get here?"

"That's what I wish I knew, Ahri of Ionia. Maybe you can be of use and find me the way out?"

"Uhh…what's Ionia? Also, I don't think there are exits in this place. I don't know why anyone would want those…this is a paradise!"

Mordekaiser facepalmed again, as Urgot got tired of rolling around and decided to fall asleep while he was still bleeding.

"Whichever Summoner decided to brainwash you women has got to be the biggest weakling….hey wait…"

Mordekaiser reached into his back pocket for an oracle. He ran around for a while, but finally spotted the perpetrator. "TEEMO!"

Teemo was peeping at the girls in the hot tub who were undressing, as Mordekaiser picked him up. "You little rat, do you get some sort of sick pleasure from watching brainwashed women all day?"

"Yes sir! It's much better than getting used as a football in Summoners Rift. Muuuuuuch better."

In the background, Ahri pointed at Teemo. "OMG! IS THAT A CHIPMUNK?"

"Well, unless you don't mind getting strangled by hundreds of women, I suggest you find me the nearest exit.

Back at Master Yi and Garen's room:

"We have you now, Veigar! Hand us over the key for the exit?"

"That's impossible! How did you even get in my vault?"

"That's the power of script transitioning, silly Yordle! Either face justice, or face Master Yi's terrible puns."

"N-N-NO! YOU WOULDN'T!"

Garen nudged to Yi. "Hey Veigar, Wuju be interested in hearing about –"

"OKAY TAKE THE KEYS! PLEASE, JUST NO MORE PUNS!"

'HAHA! One key down, and now onto the mission. I wonder how the other two are doing.'

Back at Urgot and Mordekaiser's room:

Ahri was sqealing in excitement. "HE'S SO CUTE!"

Mordekaiser was getting ready to throw Teemo into the crowd. "Last chance, rat!"

Teemo looked in shock as hundreds of the brainwashed girls were about to grab him and tear him apart. He gulped, "There is none! You need a teleport scroll, but only I…"

"SPILL IT!"

"Okay..fine." Teemo reached into his bag, and threw the teleport scroll out, which took Mordekaiser and Urgot into the next level.

"Phew. Now I just need to turn invisibl-" Teemo's eyes widened fast again.

"What is this drink?" Ahri took a drink from the elixir, and saw Teemo trying to stealth under his mushroom. "QUICK GIRLS, I FOUND THE CHIPMUNK!"

"WHY MORDE?!"

Back at the second entrance, All four of them appeared.

Garen laughed as he landed on his feet and saw the others with him. "Much too easy, am I right? I hope the next challenge will serve good purpose!"

Mordekaiser was trying to help up Urgot, who was still crying from pain. "I hope I never have to deal with those…women…again."

"You'll be fine, Urgot. Those Summoners won't expect anything…." Mordekaiser did his signature evil laugh, as Urgot finally got to his feet and pointed at an open door.

"Let's head out there, someone just left it open. There's no way the plot can't involve this!"

They hurried into the room, and the door shut behind them. They were in a small but dark room, which was filled with TVs and gaming helmets. On one of the desks was Heimerdinger, who was locked in a cage.

"How in the Hell did you end up here, Heimer?"

Heimerdinger wouldn't budge. He was just holding his knees back and staring at the ceiling. "…d-don't ask…don't…"

Garen picked up a big helmet right next to Heimer's cage instead of letting him out. "How do you suppose these…helmets...work?"

Heimerdinger snapped as he heard that. "I KNOW I KNOW!" He broke open his cage, and took the helmet out of Garen's hand. "Using 43 kilowatts and powered by multi-"

"Nope." Mordekaiser smashed his head in before he could keep talking. "We'll figure it out ourselves."

They all stood there, doing nothing but standing and staring at each other.

Garen started. "…NOT IT!"

Yi quickly reacted. "NOT IT!"

Urgot jumped up. "NOT IT!"

"No-…I hate you Demacians…" Mordekaiser was the one who was going to test out the helmet. He put it on, and fell asleep. Garen watched over the TV screen, and saw Mordekaiser on Summoners Rift.

"Hey everyone, he's actually doing it! Let's try and follow his lead!" Soon enough, all of them put on the helmets, and joined Mordekaiser by his side.

Urgot was jumping for joy. "MY EYE IS BACK! Time to eliminate the scum of Summoners Rift."

"It's been too long, Mace. Finally we can smash people in and these times get rewarded."

Master Yi was the leader of the party, and Que'd up for 5v5 as they waited there for a match to be found.

"I'll enjoy making minions of those who laughed at us." Mordekaiser looked over to Garen, who was kissing his old sword. "And you, Garen?"

"I will enjoy…setting camp in bushes and yelling 'DEMACIA!'"

"Good enough, Garen. And you, Heimerdinger?"

"SCIENCE!"

"Urgot?"

"MY EYE IS FIXED! I NEVER WANNA LEAVE!"

"Right then, we shall stay here and climb the ranked ladder. Today gentlemen, we will stomp under the team name 'League of Losers.' I was going to take Mordekaiser's Fiery Death Axe, but someone took that….man do I envy them."

Garen laughed. "I would've been in favor of Demacian Sex Goons, but if you insist..."

"Quiet, fool! I'm getting a message from some big hotshot team asking for a 5v5. Are we in?"

The whole team gathered around once again put their hands in. Garen came in the middle. "If we're going to make it big, we need to have something to shout in game or as a team..." Garen thought for a bit, and a lightbulb came over his head. "WHAT IF...We all shouted DEMACIA?"

Mordekaiser was about to facepalm, but he saw how happy everyone else was with the suggestion, and instead put his hand in and started the countdown. "I really...whatever...3...2...1...DEMACIA!"