Chapter Twelve

All things considered, Gail could have looked a lot worse. Her skin was pale – far, far paler than normal – and the oxygen mask never made anyone look a picture of health. Her vitals were good, though, and the doctors sounded optimistic. Still, Traci, more than anyone, knew that things could go horribly wrong when you least expected them to.

Cracked collar-bone, sprained ankle, cracked ribs, and two scars that would probably stick around for years to come. On the whole, it could have been a lot worse.

Holly was sitting by the bed, and even though her eyes were dry now, Traci could see the redness there. They hadn't spoken a lot in the waiting room – just a few short words every so often. In fact, the only real conversation they'd had, had been in the locker room – how many days ago was that now?

This morning, said a voice inside her head. It was almost seven and Holly was looking far more relaxed. That was a relative thing though, and there was a long way between "more relaxed" and fine. After today, Traci didn't think anyone would be "fine" for a long time.

Inspector Peck had been there for a few hours, accompanied by his wife's apologies, and a furrowed look that was the mirror of Steve's. He kept his distance, from a desire to be alone in his grief, rather than any deliberate rudeness.

When he stood to leave, he shared a few short words with Steve, followed by an almost stilted hug. When they pulled apart, Steve's eyes were red. Traci weaved her hand into his, and they say there for a long while, silently. Time stretched out, like putty; seconds felt like minutes felt like hours. Every moment that Gail remained unconscious, every moment they didn't know the full impact of her injuries, was the tiniest grain of sand in an hourglass the size of the universe.

Every time something happened, Traci found herself jerked from a reverie. A floral-scrubbed nurse rushing past with a clipboard, a doctor bending to pick up his dropped pen. The next lot of bustle came all at once; Traci blinked, and watched as what felt like a swarm of people entered the hospital room.

Dov, Chris and Chloe all looked exhausted, and Traci sympathized. She'd lucked out, being able to drop everything and come straight to the hospital. They'd had to keep working, knowing that Gail was in surgery.

'We brought food,' said Chris, almost apologetically. He set the bags down on the magazine-covered coffee table.

'Did you buy out the restaurant?' asked Steve, sounding slightly incredulous, but not entirely disappointed.

'Nah, he just likes to overcompensate,' Dov said, settling down into one of the armchairs. 'Wow, nice room.'

'It's the "I'm out of town, but I still care about you" package,' said Steve. He piled Chicken Chow Mein into his bowl. 'A couple of years ago I got hit by a runaway Camaro during a cocaine bust gone bad. Broken arm, broken leg, didn't see Mom for a week, but I did get the premium cable package.'

There was a smattering of laughter; Holly, however, remained silent. Traci didn't know the other woman well enough to know how she reacted during crises. Given her occupation, it was likely that she was calm under pressure, but there was a big difference between being calm under pressure, and being a robot.

Slowly but noticeably, Chris, Dov and Chloe wound down their visit. Chloe hadn't said much at all, and Traci was almost surprised that she'd showed up. She and Gail weren't exactly close, but then, Traci reasoned, she was probably there to comfort Dov as much as anything else.

'We have an early start tomorrow,' Dov told Traci. 'But we'll be back straight after shift.'

Traci nodded. She was briefly reminded of Oliver's words at Jerry's funeral, about how every just expected people to move on. There was no time to stop, no time to make sure people were okay...

They all needed a very long holiday.

Tonight, that was more and more clearly becoming apparent; it was Steve who was the next to leave.

'I've had some developments on a case,' he said, sounding tired, and upset, but resigned. Traci gave him a goodbye kiss to the cheek, and a pat to the shoulder. She could see Holly looking at them out of the corner of her eye.

'Gail's said some things,' the pathologist said, slowly, once Steve had walked out the door. 'But until now I never really realized that she wasn't exaggerating. Career really does come first, doesn't it?'

Traci wasn't entirely sure how to answer.

'It's an important job,' she said, evenly. 'Sometimes...we have to make the sacrifices we don't want to make. That doesn't always mean taking a bullet. Sometimes...it does, and both of those eventualities are hard things to deal with.'

Holly said nothing, but Traci could almost see the gears moving inside her head. Then, Holly straightened, and for half a second, Traci was confused, before she saw Andy and Nick step in, both of them looking more than a little awkward.

'You know, I'm just going to go get a coffee,' Holly said, standing abruptly. 'Do you want anything?' she asked Traci, and Traci shook her head. Holly walked out, without acknowledging either Andy or Nick's presence.

'Who was that?' asked Nick, frowning.

'She's Gail's friend, I think,' Andy said. 'She picked her up from the hospital, after...' Andy trailed off, her expression uncomfortable. Traci wasn't entirely sure what she'd been planning on saying. She didn't correct the assertion, either; it wasn't her place to be telling them about Gail's personal life.

'She works down in the lab,' Traci answered, which was not a lie in the least. 'They met on the Robbie Robins case.'

Nick's frown deepened, but he didn't say anything.

They didn't stay long, and Traci felt bad for feeling grateful. It wasn't that she didn't want them there, but as long as they were, Holly would stay away, and that wasn't in Holly or Gail's interests.

When Holly returned, it was nonchalantly, as though she hadn't taken forty-five minutes to get coffee.

With no words between them, they resumed their silent vigil.

...

Holly only realized she'd been dozing when she jerked into wakefulness.

She didn't want to sleep – she couldn't sleep – until Gail had woken up, until she knew for sure that everything was going to be okay. It took her half a second to notice that she'd only woken up because Traci had started to move.

'I hate to leave you here, but Dex needs me to come and get Leo,' the other woman said. Holly knew from Gail that Leo was Traci's son. 'Will you be okay here?'

Holly nodded, her body not quite numb. Every single inch of her was screaming with exhaustion, but she couldn't sleep. She couldn't leave.

Her validation came half an hour later, when she heard a soft groan coming from the hospital bed.

Gail was stirring.

Holly moved closer, trying not to notice the sudden increased pace of her heartbeat. 'Gail?' she whispered.

Gail's eyes fluttered open. 'Hey, Holly Golightly.' She spoke with an almost sheepish grin, which told Holly beyond shadow of a doubt that the other woman was not even the slightest bit aware of where she was, or what was going on.

'I didn't pick you for an Audrey Hepburn fan.'

'I have many secrets,' Gail said, with a laugh. Another person might have used the opportunity to pry for information, but Holly Stewart was not that person. She recognized and respected Gail's need for privacy, even if it was incredibly frustrating sometimes. Gail's expression suddenly turned to one of fear. 'Holly,' she said, her voice both quiet and serious. 'Am I dead?'

'Gail, you're f—you're going to be fine,' Holly said, trying not to let her voice warble.

'I'm scared.'

'You're going to be fine,' Holly said again, firmly, taking Gail's hand in hers. Gail squeezed tightly, and her whole body seemed to relax.

'I'm tired.'

'So sleep. I'll be right here.'

'I will,' Gail agreed. Then, she added, 'We need to go scuba diving.'

'Scuba diving?' Holly repeated.

'I wanna see some fish,' Gail said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

'O...kay. I didn't realized you liked swimming so much.'

'I like doing things with you,' was Gail's answer to that.

'You know, I don't actually know how to scuba dive.'

'Oh. Well then I guess we'll have to learn.'

'How good's your swimming?'

Gail had dozed off again before she could answer.

Holly's heartbeat slowly returned to normal. Somehow, the brief exchange had removed a barrier within Holly; now that she had spoken to Gail, now that she had heard her voice, she could sleep.

It wasn't until she closed her eyes and drifted off almost immediately that she realized just how tired she really was.

...

Holly started at the sound of footsteps.

Both Traci and Steve had promised that they would be back in the morning, but it still seemed far too early for them.

The woman had red hair, and a very familiar stance. If Holly wasn't mistaken, this was Gail's mother. Holly hadn't heard a lot, as such, but what she hadn't heard said just as much as what she had heard.

'You must be Superintendent Peck,' Holly said, standing to shake the other woman's hand.

'Please. Call me Elaine.'

'Holly,' Holly said. 'Gail's...friend.' The pause was too long for the other woman not to be suspicious.

'I wasn't aware that Gail had any friends outside the Division.' The tone of voice was one of surprise, and for a brief moment, Holly felt a pang of pity. She had a few friends; there were people from college who she caught up with on a semi-regular basis, a few people she'd met at conferences, a couple more that she played sport with on the weekends. It was more that Gail's mother seemed surprised that Gail had any friends at all.

'Well, we did meet on the job,' Holly admitted. 'I'm a forensic pathologist. I do a lot of work with 15 Division.'

'Of course,' said Elaine, but Holly was smart enough to figure out that her main focus was not on Holly. The Superintendent moved to the side of the hospital bed, and stroked her daughter's cheek. Holly could see a softness in the other woman's eyes.

Regardless of whatever push Gail's mother had given her into the world of policing, it must have been hard, watching your children go to work, knowing they might not come home.

'She woke up briefly, but the drugs had her pretty out of it.' Holly gave a sad sort of laugh. 'She was talking about going Scuba Diving.'

'She always was getting herself into trouble.'

'She's strong,' said Holly, feeling completely unqualified, and completely out of her depth at comforting her maybe-girlfriend's mother.

It wasn't that Holly found parents in general hard. It just seemed as though everything with Gail was hard. But that was how she knew it was worth it. Because at the end of the day, nothing made her happier than the ridiculous sight of a dopey Gail Peck grin.

'Of course she's strong,' Elaine said, almost dismissively. 'She's a Peck.'

The visit lasted another half an hour, during which time Holly kept mostly to herself. Elaine didn't say a great deal either, but Holly could see that, as with Gail, there was a lot more going on beneath the surface than most people realized.

Holly managed a little bit of sleep before the day really started, her alarm clock coming in the form of a Traci-less Steve. He was carrying a paper bag, and a beverage tray.

'Traci had to take Leo to school.' He handed over a very large paper cup that was warm to the touch. 'I figured you probably hadn't slept much.'

'Thanks.' Holly took a long sip of the coffee. 'So your mother dropped by a couple of hours ago,' she added, almost conversationally, and Steve stopped in his tracks. He gave Holly an uneasy sort of smile, as though he thought she was going to run off screaming.

'Oh, yeah,' he said, pretending as though he didn't find the idea terrifying in the least. 'Thoughts?'

'I'm not entirely sure,' Holly admitted, honestly. 'I can see...' She was going to say that she could see a lot of Gail in the other woman, but somehow that didn't seem quite right. 'I can see why Gail is the way she is.' Even that sounded almost accusatory, but Steve seemed to understand what she meant.

'Just don't ever tell Gail that,' he said, smiling. 'For all their similarities, their differences are very different.

In addition to coffee, he'd brought her a breakfast wrap, and a bag of toiletries.

'So I've heard a lot about you,' he said conversationally, sliding into the chair next to her. Holly stared at him. She hadn't figured Gail for the "telling her brother about her girlfriend" thing. 'From Traci, mostly,' he added, for clarification. 'Gail and sobriety don't always mix.'

Holly choked back a teary laugh. That much, she knew. Outside, the sun was just starting to peek above the horizon.

It was going to be a beautiful day.

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