Thanks so much to everyone who has read and big thank you to those who commented. I hope you enjoy the story conclusion.
The soundtrack to this chapter is Breaking Benjamin's "Until the End".
Act III - Until the End
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Three days was an eternity. Russ wandered around the Fearless like a ghost. Sure, he turned up for his shift and calisthenics at the right times, ate whatever parts of his meal didn't end up on the floor, but it wasn't the same.
In every moment, he kept wondering if this was the last time he'd do that particular activity, or be in this part of the ship. He even briefly contemplated taking a long walk out a short airlock before his common sense slapped him down. It wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to stay.
He roamed all over the Fearless trying to memorise the shapes of her corridors, the faint smell of recycled air and human bodies that lingered, the sounds her engines made—all the little things that set the Fearless apart from all of the other Acclamator I-class ships out there. He kept telling himself that it was for the cadets' benefit as much as his own. He'd be expected to know the Fearless inside and out before he could train anyone else. Thankfully no one called him on it.
He did his best to make sure that the changeover in the comms centre would be smooth. Link, Four-Four, and Zine accepted it unblinkingly. They just assumed that he was going to be on a different shift from now on. Russ didn't bother to correct them. He got enough looks of pity from Cam and Commander Gett as it was, so he just kept putting his team through their paces so they could carry on while the new officer found his feet, and deflected all their invitations to come eat with them after he joined third shift. Uneventful shifts didn't help his growing feeling of dread as Rothana drew ever nearer.
Fearless's computer chimed three times—he was off duty again, and again nothing much had happened. Squwarks, feeds, those damned larties. Same old, same old. He yearned for it to be like this forever more, but the ship's chrono kept clicking over. They'd be at Rothana in less than a day now. That had been his last shift. Russ swallowed a lump in his throat.
As he jammed into the turbolift with the rest of the crowd, Link tried again to get him in the gym. Even Four-Four pitched in this time, offering a game of paran ball. Russ was briefly tempted, but he needed to square his gear away before he went round the Fearless again.
Lieutenant Vidar was reading a weapons manual on his bunk when Russ entered. Russ had to wait for him to go before he could begin packing up his things. The ship's gossip machine had probably already caught wind that he was leaving, but Russ wasn't keen to throwing more fuel on the fire. Once Vidar had left, he suited up, changing into his bodysuit and strapping the armour plate by plate. The only thing he took with him, tucked into his belt, was a small, metal hair-clasp, one that Orin had accidentally left behind in the mess hall after their first real conversation. Everything else, he left behind. He could draw out clothing and an ablutions kit from the storerooms on Kamino, and he hadn't spread his personality around his quarters. There was nothing to mark this space as his, but he still said a quiet goodbye in his head as he closed the door.
Russ made his way down to the engine room, safe and anonymous in his white armour. He looked just like any other trooper moving about the Fearless's hallways—nothing special or extraordinary about him at all. Only a tally sensor would've said otherwise.
He wanted to have one last look at the reactor core, the heart of Fearless, before he had to leave her for the last time. He also had a couple of questions for the new chief engineer about the piping systems that transferred the transmatter from the fuel pods to the reactor that sat in the deep innards of the ship, right at her centre.
He slipped into the engineers' ready room without a hitch. Trammet, the senior engineer on shift, was lazing about in his chair, feet on the console. Russ had to grit his teeth at that. Two other junior engineers that Russ didn't recognise were at the table, working on something on their datapads. No one recognised him in his armour, fine by him. Russ removed his bucket and watched the postures change.
Trammet sat up, taking his feet down one by one. "What are you doing down here?" he said, chin jutting out as he got out of his chair.
"I'm looking for the chief. Is he about?"
"Nah. He's up top." Trammet flicked his eyes upwards, indicating the bridge. "Why?"
"Got some questions about the fuel pods. This is, after all, the engineers' room." Russ gestured at the office contemptuously. For once he didn't feel like just bending over and taking Trammet's lip.
"Can't help you." Trammet crossed his arms to further demonstrate his unwillingness to help.
Russ's eyes narrowed. "That's, 'I can't help you, lieutenant.'"
"Yes, sir," Trammet said sullenly.
Russ was about to lay into him when the floor shuddered beneath his feet, then lurched alarmingly. Russ's gut clenched in that horrible sensation that happened whenever Fearless transitioned from hyperspace. Klaxons started up in the corridor outside—the awful wailing drone of action stations. Red lights came on all over the console, a hemisphere of malfunctioning systems and alarms. Trammet flew over to it, Russ and the two juniors hot on his heels.
"What happened?" Russ asked as he watched Trammet's hands dart from screen to screen, button to button.
"We've dropped out of hyperspace," Trammet said.
A fresh alarm started up on the far side of the console, out of reach. Trammet darted over to it.
Russ glanced at the two younger clones who were just standing limply beside Trammet. "Shouldn't you be helping him?" The engineering console was designed for three people and was sized accordingly. To respond to the alarms, Trammet had to keep going from one side to the next, chewing up precious seconds each time he moved.
The nearest one shrugged helplessly. "We don't know what to do! We're normally with environmental control, we haven't got to the reactor systems yet. Today's our first day down here."
The other clone just shook his head when Russ looked at him. No help there.
Russ hesitated. He should really get to his action station, fire control on deck five, seeing as he was off-duty and Cam would be on the bridge, but a quick glance at Trammet showed Russ that the other man was struggling to do a three—or at worse, two—man job all by himself. To make matters worse, the chief engineer was now barking at Trammet over a com-link, demanding to know what was going on.
"It's the main reactor, sir!" Trammet yelled into the spindly microphone that jutted from the console. "She's shut herself down, but no ideas why."
"I want the secondary reactor running as soon as possible," the chief told him. "We're heading for an asteroid field and we've got no shields."
Another red light started flashing dangerously and Trammet had to again drop what he was doing to attend to the new alert. The juniors got out of the way, but other than that they were about as useful as the table.
"Move over," Russ ordered. This is what happened when you specialised too much: you made mistakes and got people killed. "Fire control, deck five. Do what you can."
They set off at a run. Russ slid in beside Trammet, taking over half of the console so that the other man could focus on the rest. Russ glanced as the array of indicator lights, mentally noting down the worst hit systems and triaging them. Other engineering crews scattered throughout the ship were doubtless doing the same thing right now.
"Secondary reactor is still offline," Russ reported. "Gauges show that no fuel is getting through to the reactor core."
Trammet grunted. "Computer should've re-routed the fuel by now. Something's not right."
Russ shifted so that the other man could look at the panel. Pressure in the main line that went from the fuel pods to the secondary reactor was zero. Nothing was flowing. They needed to open up the secondary line and get that fuel going.
There was a crackling as the chief engineer came back on the line. "Trammet, do not route fuel from pod one to the secondary reactor. Repeat, do not take fuel from pod one."
Russ frowned. Why not pod one? Fearless had six fuel pods, draining them one at a time, if he remembered correctly. Pods one through three had been refilled just recently at Kalevala.
"Acknowledged," said Trammet. "Can I ask why, sir?"
"Commander Gett just got a message from GAR HQ. Apparently the Kalevalans have deliberately contaminated the fuel—protest against the war or some osik like that. Demolisher had to be towed back to the shipyards."
As Trammet and the chief talked, Russ shut off the valves that led from pods one through three to the main reactor. He didn't know how to put a lock out on the valves so that no one accidentally opened them; for all his studying he was a comms officer, not an engineer. He'd have to ask Trammet to do that. But the valve to pod one didn't close. He caught Trammet's eye and pointed at the offending light.
"Lieutenant," Trammet said to comlink. "Our panel says the valve on pod one isn't shut. Can you confirm?"
"Copy that, Corporal," the chief said. "Bridge confirms—pod one valve is not shut. You'll have to get in there and do it manually. The ship's thrusters aren't going to be enough to get us clear of those asteroids. We need that reactor asap."
"Lieutenant," Russ interrupted. "The fuel pod compartment has lost pressure."
"Who is this?" the chief demanded.
"This is Lieutenant Russ, from communications, Lieutenant"—Russ saw Trammet mouth Kay at him—"Kay," Russ added quickly.
There was a pause. "Trammet, is he right?"
"Yes, sir," Trammet said. "There is no pressure in that section."
No pressure meant no air. There was no way that Trammet would be able to get that valve shut before he needed to breathe. But Russ had his armour on, and that gave him ten minutes of oxygen.
"Lieutenant, I can close that valve," he said. "I'm in my armour and I know the system."
There was a burst of static as Kay snorted down the microphone. "The hell you do."
"Fuel pod one's valve is an electromagnetic valve," Russ said calmly. "Manufactured by Limitec Systems. I'll need to remove the electrical actuator first, then use the 'close' magnet in order to shut the valve." He replaced his helmet and took the magnet that Trammet offered.
There was a pause and then— "Do it," the chief ordered.
"Copy that." Russ headed towards the fuel pods at a run. He could do this.
Fearless drifted into the Rothana shipyard, gracefully settling into the docking clamps as Orin watched in awe. Hearing the war buffs on the holonet enthuse about the features of the different ships hadn't prepared her for just how big they really were.
She sat, duffle beside her, watching out the viewing port as dozens of smaller ships started scurrying around the Fearless's hull. Right about now, Russ would be coming off the ship, and making his way towards her. She couldn't wait to see him and fully intended to kiss him to within an inch of his life once she'd finished telling him off for making her worry.
Minutes turned into tens of minutes, then an hour. No Russ.
A figure, all dressed in grey, rounded the corner and came towards her. Orin felt her heart speed up. Then as the man drew nearer, she realised it wasn't him. He stopped in front of her.
"Hello," she said, offering him a too-bright smile. "I'm waiting for Lieutenant Russ. CT-57-688."
"Six six eight."
"Pardon?"
"Russ's number is five-seven-six-six-eight, not six-eight-eight."
She felt her cheeks heat. "Oh."
He noticed and touched his cap. "My apologies, ma'am. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I'm Cam—we spoke a few days ago."
"Where is he?" she asked quietly. "Where is Russ?"
He looked her straight in the eyes and she had her answer. Orin felt her lips trembling and clamped a hand over her mouth to try and stop it. She lowered herself into the chair. Cam took the empty seat beside her.
"It was seven hours ago," he said.
She could hear his words, but she couldn't bear to look at him, instead staring blankly at the line where the wall met the floor of the corridor.
Cam kept talking, his voice scything through the fog in her brain. "The main reactor got contaminated by sabotaged fuel. The fuel lines to the secondary reactor were stuck. Russ went in there to close the valve."
He paused and swallowed. "It wasn't supposed to be a one-way trip… things went wrong. We couldn't get to him in time."
It felt like her throat was trying to close up and choke her, but she had to know. "Was it quick? Was he"—she bit her lip, but pressed on—"was he in pain?"
There was a sigh beside her. "At the end, he knew what was going to happen. He chose… how."
"How?" she asked in a small voice. Part of her didn't want to know, but the other part needed to know. For Russ.
Cam didn't reply.
"Please. I want the truth."
"His lungs were damaged," Cam said. He seemed to be picking his words carefully. "Any large pressure changes would kill him. He knew that. So when his air began to run low, he…" He trailed off.
Orin shut her eyes tight. It didn't sound quick or painless to her. "Thank you."
"Would you like me to escort you to your shuttle?" he asked. "There should be one going down to Rothana's spaceport in an hour."
"No, thank you." She didn't want to see his face that was so close to Russ's, yet so wrong. She couldn't hold it together if she had to withstand an hour of that. "I can find my way."
He stood and she did likewise, gathering up her duffle bag.
"What will you do now?" she asked, conscious of the fact that this man had taken the time to come and see her and tell her about Russ.
Cam gave a half-shrug. "I'll be on Fearless when she leaves again. Comm duty like before."
The callousness of his words shocked her. Russ was dead, yet it was business as usual?
He must've seen it on her face because he said, "there's still a war on, you know." He paused. "Russ knows… knew that."
And this man was supposed to be Russ's friend? She walked away, back stiff.
"Orin!"
She kept going, not slowing one whit. She could feel the tears coming on and she couldn't bear for anyone to see.
"He saved us all!" he called after her. "He died saving our lives."
Orin heard his words echoing in the corridor behind her; they didn't help. Russ was gone and it was time for her to go home.
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FIN
Thank you for reading and please know I am so, so sorry for mushing your feels! The story just came out that way despite my attempts to write a happy ending :( Some characters just will not cooperate even though it's in their best interests.