Chapter One

Josh POV

Josh stumbled towards his house. He couldn't believe he'd talked Skye into dragging him OTG to drink. God his head hurt and his chest ached. Damn Hunter. Josh stopped for a second and bent down to catch his breath. He grabbed his side as his lungs filled with air and sharp pain lit up his chest. He had bruises covering his side; he knew this and it was because of Hunter. Hunter had caught him and Skye making out in the nook of a tree; basically it went all downhill from there, literally.

Josh stood up again feeling pain shoot through his head. Wonderful, if his parents didn't kill him for going OTG again and getting drunk, then this headache sure would. Josh knew he would be in some serious trouble when he got home for more than just one reason. First off, it was way past curfew and he didn't check in with his dad before he left so they didn't know where he was. Secondly he was pretty sure he looked like shit because he felt like it. His ribs hurt from where Hunter had punched him, his head ached from having it slammed into the ground and he was pretty sure he had dried blood and dirt caked on his face and knuckles. No doubt Hunter did a number on him but at least he had the decency to say sorry after a while- well that probably had something to do with Skye; she refused to ride back with them and made Hunter and Josh ride together in a separate Rover. Oh, thirdly, Josh could still feel a little buzz from Moonshine and he was almost positive he reeked of the stuff since Hunter had pushed him into it.

Josh reached his house and silently stood outside trying to determine who exactly was up. It had to be past 2am. Josh looked down at his clothes and tried his best to straighten them even though they were covered in blood and dirt. He stood there, listening to the strangely quiet jungle before deciding to go in. As soon as Josh opened the door he wished he hadn't. Both his parents sat at the kitchen table, both talking and grasping a cup of coffee; they looked up as Josh quietly shut the door.

"Josh! What the hell! Where the hell were you?" he heard his father growl. Josh walked into the kitchen and into the light. He saw the look on his father's face grow from anger to instant worry. "Josh, sweetheart, what happened to you?" his mother asked as she got up and went over the sink and wet a paper towel. Josh didn't answer as he walked over to the table and sat in one of the chairs; he figured his father would figure it out sooner or later. Elizabeth came over and handed the towel to her son so he could wipe his face. "Josh sweetie, what happened to you? Where were you? We were really worried about you?" she asked as Josh tried his best to get the blood and grim off his face and knuckles. He looked up feeling pain shoot through his head again and looked over to his father who was watching him intently. "I was Outside the Gate." Josh said quietly.

Jim tensed up remembering the first night they were here and Josh snuck OTG; he almost lost him when Josh and his friends were attacked by a group of Slashers. It took Jim weeks to recover from that. "What! Why Josh?" Jim heard himself saying. He shuddered when he saw Josh wince, his words sounded harsher than he intended them too but dammit he was worried. Didn't Josh know what a stupid idea that was? To go Outside the Gate after the last time, let alone without an adult and at night!

Josh stood up and looked away from his father. He was disappointed and angry enough at himself; he didn't need another person angry at him. He couldn't look into his father's eyes and see the disappointment in them, not tonight. "Wait! Josh were you drinking?" he heard his mother ask; obviously someone would have figured it out eventually. Josh could hear his father suck in a short breath and stole a quick glance at him to see his dad looking at him again but this look was different; it was full of disappointment and… pity. Josh looked over at his sister's door thinking he had heard something. Maddie and Zoe were always his father's favorite; he was more playful with Maddie and Zoe, and he talked to them more; he didn't yell at them; he wasn't disappointed in them like he was Josh. Josh felt his stomach tighten. "Josh, were you drinking?" Josh heard his father repeat. Josh nodded feeling his headache spreading down his neck. "Josh, sweetheart, why?" his mother asked the same exact time his father said "you're grounded." Both older Shannon's looked at each other almost shocked the other had spoken. Josh knew if he wanted to get out of being grounded for the umpteenth time all he had to do was explain to his parents the real reason he went out and got drunk, but he didn't have it in him, not tonight.

"Josh", Josh felt someone touch his shoulder but he didn't want this, he didn't need someone to comfort him, he wasn't a baby. He pushed the hand off his shoulder and looked up to see his mother with a surprised and semi-hurt look on her face. He felt his headache arise again, "S-Sorry, look you can ground me tomorrow. I- I'm tired, I'm going to bed." Josh pushed past his parents, ignoring his father's words "Josh! Josh we're not done here! Come back and talk to us!" He slammed his door shut and sunk onto his bed not bothering to take off his dirty clothes. He heard the low whispers from his parents outside in the kitchen and saw the light go out. There was a soft knock on his door but he didn't bother answering or getting up. "Josh, honey, I want you to know we love you." he heard his mother say softly. Josh didn't turn over to face her or even recognize that he had heard her. He just stayed still registering what she had said until she left. He heard the soft click of his parent's door being shut and rolled over on his back feeling his aching ribs with every movement. He stared at the soft flickering from the shadows outside and felt tears well up in his eyes. He placed a hand on the necklace around his neck as he felt tears roll lazily down his face. God he hated this place so much and how he couldn't communicate with his father. He hated how his father was disappointed in him and how he was always grounded. He hated how no one seemed to understand what he was going through. He choked back a silent sob and thought about the girl he left behind. The girl he had tried so hard to get here only to have her end up dead. God, he missed her so much. Kara.