Authors note: Thank you everyone for reading.
Chapter 9
Nevaeh's POV
My father has been acting weird ever since the week after my party. Its like he's happier. I cant help but wonder if he met someone. I don't want to think about something like that. I don't know if I cant handle seeing my father with another woman.
Dear Beth,
I miss you. You've been gone for six months already. How are you? I hope your safe where ever you are. I sent you protein bars. I don't know what they feed you out there, but New. York food taste way better. When are you coming home?
I wish you were here. There's so much I wish I could tell you. Like, I started my junior year. I only have another year before I graduate. Something special is gunnna after I graduate. I know it.
I met someone you know. His name is Caleb. He's a few months older than I am. A total babe. I really like him. I'm just scared. I feel like I cant be happy. I feel guilty for being happy. I know I shouldn't, but I cant shake it.
Beth I think dad might be dating someone. He's like happy. There's something about his moods than make to believe so. He has every right to be happy. Its just…the thought of him with another woman. I don't know if I can handle it. At least not yet.
I miss you, and come home safely soon.
Love,
Nevaeh.
I end hit on the e-mail and walk away from my computer. As I'm leaving the library a girl, a sophomore from the looks of it walks up to me. She's dressed in a cheerleading uniform. Her hair is in a tight pony.
"You must be Nevaeh." She says in a peppy voice. She has the biggest smile on her face. She's bubbly, and happy.
"And you're talking to a me because?" I question sounding like the bitch that I am.
"I'm Jayla." She says with a big grin on her face.
"And I should care why?" I snap I say as I start to walk away. She stops by putting her hand on my arm.
"Because our parents are dating. Its so nice to see our parents happy. My moms been alone for so long. I know your dad hasn't dated anyone for a long time. I don't see you around when our parents go out to dinner. I figured its because your busy preparing for a competition." She says happily. "I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out?"
"Wait what?" I yelled. "My father is dating someone?"
"Not officially, but they've been a lot of time together?" She ask as he face goes pale. "Wait you didn't know."
"I didn't until now." I say to the girl.
"Ops." She says looking guilty.
"Learn to bite your tongue kid." I say as I start to walk away. "My cousin is at war, and father is dating and I didn't even know about it. What else can go wrong?"
When I walked back into the school Miss. Corcarn saw me in the hall and smiled. I gave her a quick smile back.
Ever since Ms. Corcran started working for our school, she seems really interested in me. Like she's trying to get to know me. She needs to back the hell off. I had a mom, and I don't need another one. Every time I see Miss. Corcarn, she makes my think of HER. There's something off about her. I know thing is off. I can feel it.
"Nevaeh can I see you after school?" Ms. Corcarn asks one as I was heading to my next class.. I roll my eyes behind her.
"Okaaaay?" I question with my stuff in my arms.
"How is junior year so far?" She asks.
"Fine." I say simply "Miss Corcarn why did you want to meet with me."
"I've seen you dance. You're very talented. I know people at Julliard. They want you to audition for next year early admissions program." She says with a smile.
"Sure. Why not." I say. It cant hurt." I say.
"They want to see you dance tomorrow. Meet me the auditorium after school. Do you have a costume?" She says with a soft smile.
"I have plenty." I say. Duh, I'm a dancer. I always have backup costumes.
"See you after school tomorrow." She says.
"I'll be there." I say. When she's not looking I take a picture of her and walk out of class.
As I soon as I get home. I find my dad in the kitchen making dinner.
"Hay dad." I say as I sit on the bar. I set my books in the chair next to me.
"Hay honey. How was school today?" dad says as he walks over to me and kisses my forehead.
"I still hold straight A's in all AP classes." I say knowing that's what he wants to really hear.
"I'm proud of you, but how is everything else. I mean your friends and all." He asks.
"My friends are my own cousins. Just because I'm popular doesn't mean anything. No one at school really likes me." I reply as I hold my cell phone in my hand.
"That's not true. You're always going to high end parties." Dad questions.
"Dad I have friend-enemies. People that pretend to like me because I'm rich. I go to these parties just to play along." I respond.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Its no big deal. Besides I'm not the warmest person to be around." I say as I roll my eyes to myself.
"Your warm and fuzzy to me." Dad says as he walks over to me and tickles me.
"Daddy no." I laugh as I try and push him away. He continues to tickle me. "I give up." I say exhaling.
"See you are warm and fuzzy." dad say with a smile on his face. He returns to cutting the veggies for dinner.
"Lets not tell anyone." I warn him.
"Not a single soul." He says as he makes a cross on his heart.
"Daddy, do you remember that I told you my music teacher looks like mom?" I ask. I was nervous. I know how well this convo went last time. I hope he doesn't shut me out this time.
"Nevaeh we talked about this. Let it go baby." dad says irritated. His head fell in between his shoulders.
"Dad look at her." I say as I show him the picture of my teacher.
He looks at it surprised. More like shocked, and angry.
"What did you say her names was?" He asked angrily.
"Shelby Corcran." I say simply. I was super confused now.
"That woman is your grandmother. Your moms' mom." Dad says like his gunna lose his mind. His eyes are intense. I've never seen my father act like this before.
"My grandmother. Why did I not know about her?" I ask confused. All these years my father never even mentioned I had a grandmother on moms side. Hell, I don't know anyone from moms side.
"Because she walked out on your mom when she was ten years old. She left because she didn't want to stand around to watch your mom die. Your mom watched her walk out on her. She followed the car until she hit a crack on the floor. Shelby never looked back." My dad says angrily.
"How do you know this?" I ask bewildered.
"Because your mom told me, just after we started dating." Dad says. His voice is lifted.
"Why didn't anyone tell me about her?" I ask angrily.
"Because she disappeared. I didn't think it was important to mention her. I never thought she would just show up at your school to teach. Hell I thought your mom and I would run into her when I moved here. We never did. So we just forgot about her altogether. We never spoke of Shelby after that day she told me about her." He replies.
"It seems that the older I get, the more family secrets come out. What else about our family don't I know?" I ask. I was angry, and sad.
"Your other grandfather died when your mom was only 15. She watched him die right in front of her. When I met your mom, it hand only been like a month after the tragedy." My dad says as he puts his hand on top of mine.
I sit there with tears in my eyes. I know I had another grandfather, but mom never talked about him or how he died.
"I'm walking in her footsteps aren't I? The deaths in my life, the way I met Caleb, my talent. I'm reliving moms life over again. Why?" I says sadly.
"No honey. You have a much better path. You're healthy as ever. You get to live on." Dad says right away.
"You sure about that?" I say sadly. "I've been dead inside for the past nine years, and living is hard. I cant let Caleb in. I cant accept that fact that your falling in love with another woman that isn't mom…."
My father stops dead in his tracks. His face stunned.
"What did you say?" He asks.
"Your falling in love with someone that isn't mom." I say sadly.
"How did you find out?" He asked looking guilty.
"Some cheerleader by the name of Jayla told. She came up to me saying it was great that's our parents were seeing each other. That her mom had been alone for too long." I say tilting my head to the side. "Why didn't you just tell me dad?"
"Because I feel as if I'm replacing your mom. I cant let another woman into my life. Not yet." Dad says as his voice cracks.
"You should have been the one to tell me, not some preppy cheerleader. I don't want you to date another woman that isn't mom. The reality is she's not coming back. She's gone" I snap. I storm off to my room without letting my father say another word.
I was in disbelief. My grandmother has been posing as my teacher. She knew who I was the second she heard my name.
I see my computer blinking. I open the window to see my aim waiting for chat. I see it's from Beth.
Balletgirl282- Hay Beth. Am I glad 2 hear from u.
PuckermanBaby1-Hay Kiddo. Got ur email. I'm worried. U ok?
Balletgirl282-Everything is falling apart. I don't know if I can take more shocking news.
PuckermanBaby1-That bad?
Balletgirl282-We can talk bout me later. How r u? you've been gone 6months.
PuckermanBaby1-I'm somewhere in China. Cant talk about the mission, but I'm ok. Lost my crew in an attack 3months ago. Thought I was gunna B sent home, but they want me here to help fix the heavy equipment.
Balletgirl282-But ur a woman. Ur not allowed to be in the line of fire?
PuckermanBaby1-No, but I am a technician. They got make sure planes are ready for battle at any minute.
Balletgirl282-Please Bcareful. Its dangerous out there.
PuckermanBaby1-I'm safe.
Balletgirl282-I'm sorry that U lost ur crew. I know they were ur friends
PuckermanBaby1-it's the price 2 pay 4 doing what I do.
Balletgirl282-I know, but it still sucks.
PuckermanBaby1-I know. Tanks 4 all the food ur sending BTW. It beats the food we have here.
Balletgirl282-No problem. If U want anything else. Let me know.
PuckermanBaby1-U can send me Ddcoffee if u want. Our coffee here sucks. ;-)
Balletgirl282- sure thing. I'll send U a months worth. NY has the best coffee around.
PuckermanBaby1-So true. Ur the best. So who's this guy, Details?
Balletgirl282-A guy I met as a kid. He tried to kick me out of the auditorium 1day. Than the next thing I know he's asking me out on a date. We hang like all the time. I haven't kissed him yet.
PuckermanBaby1-Y NOT?
Balletgirl282-I'm taking things slow. He will kiss me soon enough.
PuckermanBaby1-He better, or I'll kick his sorry ass when I meet him.
Balletgirl282-I'll pass on the message.
PuckermanBaby1-Good
Balletgirl282- Oh BTW U remember when I went 2ur house and told U my music teacher looks like mom?
PuckermanBaby1-Yeah. Thought ur pops told U 2 drop that one?
Balletgirl282- I know but I found out my music teacher is Miss Shelby Corcarn whom turned out 2 be my grandmother.
PuckermanBaby1- Shut up! No fucken way! After all these years that bitch made her appearance ur school. The nerve she has.
Balletgirl282- U knew about her?
PuckermanBaby1- My dad told me. U 4get my parents knew ur mom as a kid. Dad was friends W/ur mom 4 a short time. They hung out a few times. Shelby went W/them all the time. Dad says he quit Being friends W/ur mom after my pops got his bad boy image & he started to bully ur mom. They became friends again as let teens after ur parents started dating. I still cant believe it. After all these years.
Balletgir282-That's what dad said 2. He was pissed.
PuckermanBaby1-He should be. Be strong. Look I gotta get back. E-mail if u need me.
Balletgirl282-I will. Please B safe out there.
PuckermanBaby1- I will. XOXO Beth
Ballegirl282-XOXO Nevaeh.
I logged off and laid there. I felt tears pooling in my eyes. If mom were here, she'd know what to do.
"V?" Dad whispers at the door.
I didn't say anything, I just laid there. I hear his footsteps making their way over to me. I move closer to the edge, giving him space to sit beside me. My back is towards him.
"I'm sorry all this had to be put on your shoulders in one day. I never wanted you to find out about Hayden this way. I didn't say anything to because I'm not ready to let another woman in my life yet. I'm not trying to replace your mom. I'm just tried of being alone." My dad says. I can hear him choking up. "I will never love anyone like I loved her. She was special. No one else had what she had."
"I know daddy. You should have come to me. I would have been upset for a time, but then I would have realized that you cant be alone for the rest of your life." I say sadly. I can feel yet more tears falling down my eyes.
"I never told you this, but when your mom and I found out that we were having you. It came as a total shocker." He says as he rubs my arm. I look at him. "Your mom had undergone so much treatment, medication, transplants and radiation that she was told she could never have children. It was something she had accepted years ago. Then weeks after we came back from our honeymoon we're told we were having a baby. We were shocked out of our minds. Even after we brought you home your mom kept saying how unreal it was to have you in her arms. You were, and still are our miracle baby. I remember one night your mom was up at like 3 in the morning. She was singing something like "Clouds will range in storms will race in, but you will be safe in my arms. Rains will pour down. Waves will crash around you, but you will be safe in my arms." Dad says with a smile. A proud fatherly smile.
"I remember that song. She use to sing that song to me every night as you both tucked me into bed. I sang that song to myself after mom started spending nights at the hospital. The nights you stopped coming home to be with her and you left me with Santana, Blaine, or Britney." I say. "I thought if I sang that song mom would come home."
"You remember all that?" He asks.
"I got up every night to see if mom had come home. I would peak into your room every night, and then when I saw you weren't in bed I would go to the guest bedroom to see whom ever was with me that night. That's how I knew you weren't coming home that night or mom." I say sadly. "After she died, I sat by the door thinking she would eventually walk through the door. She never did."
"I'm sorry." He says as he looks me in the eyes with guilt.
"I'm not mad." I say. "Dad, why are you telling me this about mom?"
"My job as a parent is to protect you. To keep you safe no matter what. Sometimes no matter how hard I try, its not enough. I wanted to protect you from so much pain, but lately I feel like I'm failing as your dad." dad says as he wipes away my tears.
"No dad, your doing a great job at being my daddy. You back off when you know something is bugging me until I cool off. You spend hundreds of dollars on dance tuition. You let uncle Kurt spend thousands to make me expensive tutus and dance costumes. You pay thousands for me to have a good education. I'd say your doing a great job at this parenting. I don't blame you for Shelby. Shelby's doing is on her. Not you." I say as I lean up to hug my dad. "Thank you for being my daddy. Your doing a great job at it."
"I love you more than life itself my little Nevaeh Emily Rachel Hudson. My little star." Daddy says as he kisses my forehead.
I felt myself lose it. Mom use to call me that. "I love you too daddy. I'm sorry for being so angry all these years. I just miss her so much." I sobbed into his chest.
"I miss her too baby girl." dad says as he kisses the side of my head. We both start to cry like we haven't in a long time. I must have fallen asleep. I could hear in the background my dad singing to me. He kisses my head one last time.
"Good might my little star." he whispers as he leaves the room, closing the door behind him. I smile in my sleep.
The next day, I skipped class. I didn't want to see her. I waited till the day ended.
"Nevaeh I'm glad you could make it. Why aren't you in costume?" Ms. Corcarn says with a smile. I storm into the auditorium angrily.
"Why the hell didn't you tell me who you were?" I yelled. My emotions were all over the place.
"Nevaeh calm down. What are you talking about?" She says looking confused.
"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about. You knew who I was the second you heard my name. You're my grandmother." I yelled shaking my head.
"How did you find out?" She asked shocked. "Did your parents tell you?"
"My dad told me. I told him there was something off about the way you looked from the moment I laid eyes on you. You look just like her. I showed him a picture of you last night. He told me everything. You walked out on her when she needed you the most. You walked out on your own daughter because you didn't want to watch her die. You didn't even look back when she cased you into the streets." I yelled through my tears. "Coward."
"Its hard to watch your only child die. I wish I could go back and change that." She said sadly.
"I watched my mom die day by day until she took her last breath on MY BIRTHDAY. So don't fucken tell me its hard to watch your kid die, when the kid watched her mom die. You didn't even bother to come to the funeral."
"She died?" she says covering her mouth in shock.
"Nine years ago. I watched how that disease killed her bit by bit. I watched as it stripped her of everything that made her a person. I watched as she forgot how to do simple tasks, the days she could barley speak, the days she didn't even recognize me. My father and I watched her die."
"I'm so sorry." She says as she starts cry.
"You don't get to be sorry. Your daughter died, and you didn't even know. You missed out on knowing an amazing person, and your own granddaughters life for that matter. Do you have any idea how many lives she changed? she gave a voice to new talent." I yelled. I turned to the men looking at me wordlessly. "I apologize for taking your time." I say as I stormed out.
Caleb was standing outside the doors. "Nevaeh I heard everything. I'm sorry." He says trying to keep up with me. I hail a cab near by.
"She's been there all these months and she didn't have the guts to tell me who she was. She's the only one that could have given me a piece of my mom before her illness. Instead, that bitch hides in the shadows." I sobbed. "All I've ever wanted was to have more of my mom. Not the sick woman laying in that hospital bed fighting to live."
"I know V." Caleb says as he tries to calm me down. His arms are around me.
"I cant, I cant, I cant accept it." I cry uncontrollably. Caleb rubs my back softly. We reach the seminary and I run out of the cab without flinching. I can hear Caleb's footsteps behind me. I reach my moms grave and allow myself to fall on it. "I wish I had more pieces of you to hold on too. You left me too soon. Most of the memories I have of you are becoming more and more vague. I cant even remember the last you tucked me into bed." I sob uncontrollably.
"Nevaeh." I hear a voice say to me. Its beautiful, soft and warming. When I look up, its her. I hug her as tightly as I can, not wanting to let go.
"Mom, how is this possible?" I say through my tears.
"I'm here now baby. I am so proud of the person you've become. Not a day has gone by that I don't wish I could be there with you." My mom says as she looks into my eyes.
"I miss you, and I cant move on."
"I know honey. I've been watching over you since the day I left. I was there when your dad told you I wasn't coming home. I watched you die inside. I've seen all your tears, watch as you long for my presence, and you hope to live to the person I was. You are everything I ever wanted in life. You don't have to live in my shadow or live up to me. I want you to be you. I'm proud of you no matter who you choose to become." My mom says as she kisses my cheek.
"My own life is a reflection of you." I say as I look down at the ground.
"No baby. You are much more than I was. Your surrounded by people that love you, people that respect you and your talent. Your nothing like I was. For one you have a bigger heart than I did. Yes, Caleb has been there all your life, but there's nothing wrong with falling in love with a childhood friend." Mom says as she looks into my eyes "And yes what your grandma did is wrong, but she is your grandma."
"So you saw the flight I just had with Shelby." I say as I look down.
"I did, and you have every right to be mad at her, but you have to give her a chance. She's your grandma, and she loves you. The second she knew who you were she loved you. Don't let life pass you by because I cant be there for those milestones. I'm always there beside you." She says as she puts her hand on my arm.
"You were there the day of my 16th birthday. I felt you." I say with a smile.
"I was there. You looked so beautiful in that dress. I'm sorry I couldn't be there." She says as she looks into my eyes. I look so much like her. I hugged her once again as tight as I could. Her touch was soft. "I love you my little star."
"I love you too momma." I say.
"Tell your father that I love him very much, and that I want him to be happy again. Tell him its okay to fall in love again." mom says as she disappears.
"Mom." I whisper.
A/N- This may have been my favorite chapter to write. When I came up with writing a squeal. I had this chapter sketched out in my mind a long time ago. I love writing emotional scenes. Hope you all like it.