A/N: Once again I thank everyone who has been kind enough to leave reviews. They mean so much to me and I am glad that you are enjoying Jamie's Song. As Always, I have to thank my wonderful beta DanniMitchell85 for her tireless work. Hope you enjoy this chapter.
AOE01
Chapter 4
Resting his elbow on the door of the squad car, Jamie sat deep in thought. It was Saturday and so far it had been an easy shift. He had never once regretted turning his back on practicing law; he loved being a cop, it's what he was born to be, but he still would rather have been in the park with Caitlin today.
The more he got to know her, the more impressed he was. He realized she wasn't perfect, no one was; but he knew in his heart she was perfect for him. He wasn't sure right now of what his next move should be in this chess game they were locked into. It seemed every time he made a move, she countered in a perfectly executed move designed to keep him at arm's length. Jamie stared off into space trying to make sense of his confused thoughts.
After long minutes of silence, Vinnie glanced over at Jamie. It didn't take a genius to figure out what Jamie was brooding about. Having lunch with Caitlin the other day had been interesting and illuminating. He had never been sure of the type of women Jamie was drawn to, but it figured the son of the son of an Irish cop would fall for a woman who looked like she just stepped off the boat from Donegal herself. Before meeting Caitlin, Vinnie knew Jamie had it bad, but now he understood why.
"What's up, kid?" He figured the best way to snap Jamie out of his funk was to talk about what was going on. They may not have been partners for very long, but Vinnie knew Jamie was more of a thinking man. Everyone at the precinct, including Vinnie, knew about Harvard. When they were assigned together, Vinnie wasn't quite sure what to make of Jamie. It wasn't every day you heard of a cop who had a law degree from Harvard.
At first, things were rough between them, but after a time they forged a solid bond and Vinnie trusted Jamie implicitly. Even so, Vinnie found it hard to follow his partner's train of thought sometimes. Jamie thought too much for the streetwise cop. He supposed that's what made them good partners: one a thinker and the other a doer.
"Just trying to decide what to do next," Jamie replied, distractedly.
Vinnie thought to himself, yeah the kid was overthinking, again. After a moment, he broke the silence and asked, "Can I ask you something about your girl?"
Jamie looked over at Vinnie. They hadn't discussed Caitlin since having lunch the other day. He knew Vinnie found her attractive but they had never discussed his overall impression of her.
"Does she have any single friends?" Jamie asked with a grin.
Vinnie smirked and replied, "Only if they are as good looking as she is."
Jamie suddenly sat straight up and Vinnie could feel the threatening current that was rolling off of him. He knew his partner was protective of the music professor and had no intention of making a move on her.
"Don't worry, kid," Vinnie held up his hands to show he wasn't a threat. "You're my partner and I wouldn't dream of going after your girl. Besides, I wouldn't have a shot."
Jamie looked away, trying to calm down. He knew it was silly to think Vinnie would try anything, but the truth was Jamie was worried. Things with Caitlin were still shaky and he didn't know what the future held for them. He knew in his heart she was the one for him but he couldn't even get her to have dinner with him.
"What's your question?" Jamie finally asked.
Vinnie chose his words wisely; he could see how close to the edge Jamie was at the moment. "When we were at lunch, I noticed she talked kinda…different." He said carefully, not wanting to offend Jamie.
Jamie nodded his head, "Yeah, she's from the deep South." Jamie shrugged his shoulders.
"Yeah, I ain't talking about the accent," Vinnie said; he thought about adding how sexy he thought her southern drawl was, but knew his partner would inflict bodily harm on him. "I was talking about how sometimes she explains things."
"So, she explains things instead of naming them. You think she's dumbing down things for us lowly street cops?" Jamie asked, defensively. He wondered about it but it didn't really matter to him; it was just one of the things that made her special and, he was used to it by now.
Vinnie shrugged his shoulders, and hearing Jamie's defensiveness, quickly changed the subject as he continued, "I really like her. She's a little too quiet to suit me but she has a great sense of humor," he told his partner while he looked out the window. "Besides, she's hot," he added with a grin. He couldn't hold back his laughter as Jamie glared at him. "C'mon, Reagan, don't tell me you don't think she's hot."
Mental images of Caitlin came to mind and Jamie could feel his face heat up. He smiled self-consciously, "I think she's beautiful," Jamie admitted.
Vinnie laughed and shook his head, "Man, I was right…You got it bad."
They drove around for a while before parking. They liked to spend part of their patrol on foot; it wasn't easy sitting in the squad car all day. Walking also allowed them to get to know the residents in their sector. Jamie's training officer had taught him that and he had learned the lesson well. They made a point to go around to the local shops and restaurants in the neighborhood, checking in and making sure things were all right.
As they walked down the street a thought came to Vinnie, "You've asked her out, right?"
"Every time I see her. She always says no," Jamie said, dejectedly.
Vinnie took this in, "Why don't you give up? I mean, I like her, but man, there's plenty of fine looking women in this town."
Jamie thought about that. He knew Vinnie had a point. "I don't know. There's just something about her. I can't really explain it."
"Why doesn't she want to go out with you?" Vinnie asked the question that had been plaguing Jamie for weeks now.
"I don't know, I've never asked." Jamie confessed.
Vinnie stopped. "You've never asked? Kid, maybe it's about time you did." Vinnie looked at Jamie and spoke his mind, "Seems to me, that it's time for a bold move."
"What do you mean?" Jamie was intrigued.
Vinnie shrugged, "Look, you do the talking thing real well. I remember how you talked the Balducci kids down from their feud and you really helped that retired hockey player when he got lost. But sometimes, you just need to forget the fancy talk and just act."
Jamie mulled over what his partner had said to him the rest of the shift. Vinnie dropped the subject knowing his partner needed to think about things.
~Blue Bloods~
After their Saturday tour, Jamie and Vinnie had the following two days off. During that time, Jamie did some serious thinking. Vinnie was right; it was time to stop treading so carefully and just take a risk. Put himself on the line and take a chance; the biggest chance he had ever taken.
In the past, girls had always flocked to him; he rarely had to put in much effort to get a date. Over the last couple of days, he formulated a plan and it was definitely a bold move. It would either be wonderful or horrible, nothing in between.
Leaving the precinct after their shift on Tuesday, Jamie caught up to Vinnie. "Hey, Vin," he called out, "Let me buy you a drink. I want to run something by you."
Vinnie thought about it and agreed. "Sure, man. If you're buying, I'm drinking." Vinnie had a feeling this had something to do with Caitlin.
They headed to a local pub they knew of. It was owned by a former cop, and catered to the NYPD. After they each got a beer, they meandered over to the dart board to have a friendly game to help them unwind. After a few games and a few beers, Jamie finally opened up and shared what he had in mind.
"Are you serious?" Vinnie looked at Jamie, stunned. He had told Jamie it may be time to go bold or go home, but damn. He should have known something like this would happen, he was a Reagan after all; they don't know how to half-ass anything.
Jamie's plan was risky, but Vinnie liked it and he had a feeling it would work. After seeing how Caitlin looked at his partner, he suspected all she really needed was for Jamie to push the issue and refuse to back down. Vinnie was more than willing to help out and was honored he was asked. He had a strong feeling Jamie had yet to tell anyone in his family about her; he knew Jamie hadn't said a word about her to Danny. Vinnie was looking forward to Friday to see how this all played out, it should be interesting.
~Blue Bloods~
The rest of the week, Jamie did a bit of reconnaissance. He needed to know a few details about Caitlin's schedule and he couldn't very well ask her directly. It also wouldn't work for her to catch him; he kept telling himself he wasn't really stalking her. This would only work if it was a complete surprise.
He went online and looked at the school website; it hadn't been any help. He thought about that student Allison, but quickly dismissed the idea; he didn't want to involve a student. Thinking outside the box, he tried to remember every little thing she ever told him. Jamie even considered asking Danny for advice, but knew that would lead to questions he wasn't ready to answer. The most devious member of his family was often his grandfather. Jamie asked himself, what would Henry do? Smiling, he took out his cell phone and made a call.
~Blue Bloods~
Olivia picked up the phone. Dr. McKenna was in her office teaching a private lesson and the muffled piano music filtered through to the vestibule outside. Answering the phone, she listened as the caller identified himself. She frowned as she listened to his request. Debating what she should do, she continued to listen as he pled his case. She looked at the office door and suddenly came to a decision and gave him the information he asked for. As she hung up, she smiled. She liked him and hoped he would be successful. Chuckling to herself, she wished she could be there when he showed up.
~Blue Bloods~
Caitlin walked into the lecture hall early Friday afternoon. Lectures given after lunch on a Friday were notorious for absenteeism and poor attention span. She walked up to the podium and was pleased to see most of her students present. She commanded a great deal of respect and did not tolerate deviations from the subject matter. She had been known to throw unruly students out of her lecture, forcing them to do research on the material she still held them responsible for. Woe be unto the student who shared lecture notes.
In spite of her reputation as a harsh taskmaster, her students loved her and her classes were always full with long waiting lists. She truly enjoyed her job and held a passion for the piano; it showed in her teaching.
Looking around, she noted the students who were missing as she dimmed the lights in the rear of the auditorium. Hooking up her computer to the overhead screen, Caitlin opened the PowerPoint she had prepared. This lecture was a difficult subject to get across though it was her favorite lecture of the semester. She stepped up to the podium and began her presentation. Students opened their notebooks, preparing to take detailed notes.
"Today, we will begin by discussing the life of Beethoven…"
~Blue Bloods~
Looking at his watch every few seconds, Jamie tried to get his partner to hurry. They had meant to put the plan in action thirty minutes before, but what was supposed to be a quick stop turned out to be more complicated. Vinnie could feel Jamie's impatience and sped up before his partner spontaneously combusted. Finally arriving at their destination, they ran into the building and looked around for the room they needed.
"Which one is it?" Vinnie asked.
Looking at the scrap of paper in his hand, Jamie replied, "Auditorium A."
A student overheard their conversation, stopped and gave them directions.
"Thanks," a grateful Jamie called out over his shoulder.
When they found the right auditorium, Jamie stopped and took a breath. He reached down and turned his radio off so it wouldn't squawk. He looked at Vinnie.
"Good Luck, man. Don't worry, I'll monitor the radio here and get you if we're needed." Vinnie promised, hoping Jamie could complete his mission.
Jamie reached out and slowly depressed the handle of the door, easing it open, hoping he was entering as silently as possible.
Entering the darkened auditorium, he couldn't believe his luck. The back of the room was dark so he could watch her teach as he waited for the perfect opportunity. She was dressed more casually than she had been when they met for lunch. She was wearing taupe colored slacks with a white blouse and a brightly colored fall scarf around her shoulders.
Standing silently, he watched her and listened as she lectured. He wasn't really interested in the topic; most of it was over his head and he didn't really pay much attention. She was talking in great detail about Beethoven and his music.
He thought there was about ten minutes left in the class and though it seemed she was winding up, her tone changed, drawing his attention to what she was saying. She became more passionate about her topic and it showed in her demeanor.
"Now, this is not a music history class. So what does this have to do with the Art of the Performance?" Caitlin changed topics; this was her real lesson and she needed to connect the dots. "We have talked this term about the mechanics of performance; stage presence, memorization, posture, fingering, how you play the notes on the page. But this," she gestured towards the screen and continued, "This changes what comes next; life events changed Beethoven and his music.
In his early period, when he had his hearing, we have wonderful pieces including the Pathetique. But as he started to lose his hearing sometime around 1800, we see his struggle reflected in his music. The moonlight sonata, the Appasionata, Fidelio, symphonies three through eight were all written in this period and you can hear the juxtaposition between heroism and struggle. After he became totally deaf around 1814 are some of his most celebrated works. The ninth symphony, Missa Solemnis, his later works show an intellectual depth and intensity not found in the earlier works."
Walking back and forth in the front of the class, Caitlin continued, "We can teach how to read music and how to play the notes; but we cannot teach how make the music. Music, more than any other art form, evokes from the audience intense feelings: Joy, sorrow, laughter, excitement, love, anger, hope, passion, wonder, surprise, fury. It can stir us to conquer the world or put us at peace. Lord knows, bad musicianship can drive me to tears." The class laughed in response as Jamie smiled widely. He was riveted.
She continued, "Just as you cannot decide to go to church Sunday morning and 'be spiritual,' you also cannot decide just as you walk onto the stage to inhabit the composer and his message. It needs to begin the first time you open the score to learn the piece.
International events, loss of hearing, religion, family, competition; these things all changed their composer and as a result affected the music they created." Caitlin continued, "To impart the feelings the composer intended means you must be able to set aside your own feelings of the moment. A fight with your mother, the intensity you feel for a new love, the fear of failing, whatever you are experiencing has to disappear so you can impart the feeling the piece was intended to invoke.
To hear the music of Bach is to hear the word of God. There is a reason why his music evokes that feeling and until you understand it, you will never be able to play it adequately."
Caitlin smiled and Jamie was sure the students would not like what was coming next.
"So, your term paper," Caitlin drawled slowly.
Jamie heard the groans from the students and he vividly remembered similar lecture halls in Cambridge.
She continued, "It is due on the last day of class. It will be no fewer than ten and no more than fifteen pages; if it is not within that range you will fail. This paper is forty percent of your grade and few students can fail my paper and pass my class." She paused to let that sink in. "Page counts do not include the title page or reference page. There will be no fewer than five scholarly references. You may use the internet you may NOT use Wikipedia. If you are unsure about what a scholarly resource is remember the librarian is your best friend.
I want you to look at the repertoire that you are currently working on. Choose one composer and analyze their music looking at how their life events affected both the music and the composer. You may not choose Beethoven; I do not want term papers that regurgitate MY lecture."
Her assignment given, Caitlin said, "I think that's all for today…" The students started to pack up their books, but suddenly stopped.
"Dr. McKenna, I have a question," interrupted a voice from the back of the room.
She stopped speaking. She recognized the voice but couldn't quite place the name. "Yes?"
"Why won't you go out with me?" Jamie spoke calmly, but clearly and his voice carried to the farthest corner of the room.
Caitlin was flustered. She had put the name to the voice.
"I'm teaching a class right now. We'll have to take this up later," Catlin tried to put him off; rattled, completely forgetting the fact she was actually done teaching.
"You haven't answered my question. Why won't you go out with me?" Jamie repeated, coming closer, now visible to all in the room. All eyes were on Jamie as he slowly walked down the aisle towards her. No one made any effort to pack up and leave, wanting to see how this would end.
Caitlin could see him clearly now. He wore his dark blue uniform and heavy coat. Hi coat was unzipped partway to show his tie and collar brass. You could see his holster and weapon as well as the various holders and pockets for his equipment. A radio microphone was clipped to his collar and was curiously silent. His silver name plate, decorations, and badge were visible and he still wore his hat. She could tell from the stubborn set to his jaw he was determined.
"Why won't you go out with me?" He repeated again, refusing to be sidetracked.
Caitlin shook her head, "Officer..?"
"Reagan," he supplied.
"Officer Reagan," she continued determinedly, "This is neither the time nor the place for this discussion."
He interrupted her, "Maybe not, but I'm not leaving until you answer my question, why won't you go out with me?"
Caitlin sighed; he really wasn't going to let this go. As she paused, she heard the comments from the students. She heard more than one girl say "He wouldn't have to ask ME twice." Another voice chimed in, "He's really cute, for a cop." It unsettled Caitlin to realize how much the idle comments bothered her.
As she stood there trying to decide what to say, another voice, this time male, chimed in, "C'mon Dr. McKenna, throw the man a bone. Go out with him."
Jamie had reached the podium now and he looked directly at her. Placing his hands over hers, he smiled and summoned all the charm he possessed and said, "Will you go out with me?"
Caitlin shook her head in amazement at the turn of events and tried to hide the smile she felt creeping across her face. She had never felt more unbalanced in her life. She could feel everyone's eyes on her, waiting for her answer. "All right, Yes, I will go out with you," she finally gave in as her students all applauded.
"I'll pick you up tonight at Seven in your office." he replied immediately, as he backed away, quickly retreating up the aisle he had just come down.
"Tonight?" she called out in surprise.
"I'm not giving you a chance to change your mind!" he called from the back of the auditorium. "See you at seven." They all heard the doors close loudly behind him leaving absolute silence in his wake.
Caitlin shook her head in disbelief. She couldn't believe he had just done that.
From outside the auditorium a sudden shout could be heard. Jamie shouted, "YES!" in clear triumph. The room broke out into gales of laughter. Caitlin said, loudly, "What are you all still doing here? Go on home. Class dismissed." The students got up quickly and left the lecture hall, smiling and laughing at the uncharacteristic behavior of their professor. They had never seen her flustered instead of in complete control.
Caitlin gathered her computer and her notes and started walking back to her office. If she had a date tonight, she'd have to get some things from home. With a smile on her face, she thought about the evening to come.