When Dean got home, he had to resist the urge to turn around and run straight out again.
Sam and Gabriel were stood in front of the TV, making out.
Dean walked in quietly, eased the door closed to the point where it was nearly shut, and then slammed it.
They both jumped so much that Gabriel head-butted Sam in the nose.
Dean smirked, always finding Sam's bitch-face amusing, especially if it was as a result of butting in on a make-out session. Sam, clutching his face and glowering at Dean, pushed past him to the kitchen.
"Yeah, you'll…" Gabriel stood rooted to the spot, staring at the wall. "You'll wanna put some ice on that."
Dean crossed the room and threw himself down on the couch, grabbing the remote.
"You want to move? I need some TV time."
Gabriel managed to uproot himself, perching on one of the lounger seats. Dean quirked an eyebrow at him.
"You don't have to act like I might kill you, Gabriel, I was one of the people helping you two get back together, remember?"
"Heh, yeah…" Gabriel started to relax a little, but he still looked awkward. Dorks in love, Dean guessed. "What are we watching?"
"Don't know…" Dean flicked over to the TV guide channel. "Ooh, Doctor Sexy rerun…"
"You turn that on and I will tear out your spleen," Gabriel advised, but he smirked. Dean supposed they could joke, at least.
"You want a beer?"
"Sure."
"Hey, Sammy, how about some beers while you're in there?"
"Jerk!"
"Bitch!"
But when Sam returned from the kitchen, clutching a bag of frozen peas to his nose, he had three bottles of beer with him all the same. He sat on the arm of Gabriel's chair, leaning back and resting his arm behind Gabriel's shoulders.
Dean watched them for a moment, before returning to the TV guide.
"Uh… look, Blues Brothers… only started a few minutes ago, you want to watch?"
"Sure," Sam nodded, easing the bag of peas away from his face and revealing an already bruising nose. "Haven't seen you all day man, where were you?"
"Just… around. Errands and stuff." Dean shrugged, glancing between the TV and his brother's domestic little picture perfect corner of the room. "You?"
Sam and Gabriel exchanged embarrassed glances (stupid loved-up dorks) and became suddenly very interested in their beer bottles.
"We kind of just… spent the day catching up." Sam said, which for some reason Gabriel seemed to find very funny. "You know… couples stuff."
Dean was going to punch something.
Probably one of them.
He lay back on the couch and stared at the TV, not focusing on what was going on.
"Awesome."
They watched the movie (Dean watched the movie and Sam and Gabriel made kissy goo-goo faces at each other and Dean did not care at all). Eventually, as the end credits started rolling, Dean looked at his watch.
"Well, we better get food going. I don't know about you saps, but I'm hungry."
"Sure," Sam shot Dean a quick, conspiratorial smile, before turning to Gabriel. "Gabe, my foot's gone to sleep, could you take the empties out to the kitchen?"
"Sure," Gabriel looked like he might argue, but he stood and collected the empty beer bottles, and carried them through to the kitchen. As soon as he was out of earshot, Sam leant forward.
"Did you get the groceries in like you said you were going to?" He whispered, grinning.
"Yeah…"
"Ok, check this out, I can get him to make us dinner."
"Seriously?" Dean chuckled. "What, you're back together for a week and you're playing him?"
"Who's playing?" Sam said, "he likes cooking and I figure he owes me one for using our relationship for stand-up material. You want dinner or not?"
"Ok." Dean said, sitting back with a shrug.
Sam gave Dean his smart-ass, "check this out" smile again, before clearing his throat and calling through to the kitchen.
"Hey Gabe? Dean wants pizza and I want Chinese, what's your vote?"
There was a pause for a moment.
"You've not got any food in?"
"No, we've got food, but… it'll keep for a few days, right? It's all fresh…"
Gabriel left the kitchen and stared at Sam.
"Yeah, fresh now, it's not gonna be all that fresh by tomorrow."
Sam heaved a sigh.
"But cooking's hard. I don't even know what I could do…"
"No it's not, you could… Ugh, hang on…" Gabriel retreated back into the kitchen, and the clattering of pots and pans soon echoed around the kitchen.
"You're evil, dude." Dean laughed, grabbing the remote again and flicking through the channels.
"Yeah, but he is too so it evens out," Sam said, slipping off the chair arm and into the actual chair. "So… are you and I gonna talk about what you said to me the other day?"
"What?" Dean looked over at his brother, sitting up a little. "You mean the me being gay thing? If you want."
"Just…" Sam shrugged, looking more than a little awkward. "So is there any guy or is it just a personal thing?"
Dean thought for a moment.
"There… was. We're kind of… cooling things right now." Dean stared ahead at the TV.
"Can I ask why, or..?"
"Just… he's got work stuff," Dean said, feeling the full truth, the proper, beautiful truth of Castiel straining at his throat like it wanted to claw its' way out of him. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"When you… you know, when you were out, at first…" Dean scratched his neck and sat back, changing his weight before leaning forward again, still not looking at Sam. "Did you ever feel like you had to… test yourself?"
Sam didn't say anything for a while.
"You mean, like… for diseases? Because, no, it's good that you're doing that, it's a big part of being, uh, being… sexually…"
"Ew, you bitch, no." Dean managed to look at Sam, if only to display his disgust for a second before looking away again. "No, I mean like… so I know I'm… gay. I'm not used to saying it or whatever but I am. And I'm ok with that now, and you know, all my family knows so yeah. I'm ok with that. But… What if… I'm not sure if I'm ready for, for everyone else to know. Y'know?"
Sam sat back in his chair, took a deep breath, and puffed it out through his cheeks.
"Yeah. I get it. You're worried about how people see you, based on this new side of you. And you're worried, about committing to this part of you, right?"
Dean nodded, he looked over at Sam, hoping he wasn't looking at him like he was a pity case.
No such luck.
"Ok, you keep looking at me like that, I'm gonna punch what's left of your nose right off your face."
"Sorry, just… there's no answer to that, Dean." Sam shrugged, pushing himself to his feet. "You've gotta do what's right for you, at your own pace. If you're not ready to go public, then you're not ready. And that's cool. I mean, whenever you decide to do… whatever you've got to do… I'm here for you, man." Sam pressed his frozen peas to his face. "Well, not right now, right now I'm going in there to check Gabe hasn't burned down the kitchen or anything. But… we good?"
"Yeah, Sam." Dean sat back on the couch, staring at the TV again. "We're good. Thanks."
For nothing.