Yearning
By: Liv-x-Case-Benson & dcmasters
Ch. 5: Off Course
Olivia had dodged a couple shots, firing back a series before he hit a vital organ. But, she was sure, from the outside, it sounded worse. From how she felt, he may have grazed her somewhere else too.
Several officers rushed in and EMT's quickly followed, Olivia finally brought out on a stretcher. Casey rushed to her side, taking her hand. "Thank god, Liv!"
Olivia groaned, smiling a bit before clutching her hand. "I know. I know," she said, going out from the pain.
They allowed Casey to ride with her to the hospital, but made her wait outside as she was examined, ignoring the niggling in her stomach as she paced.
Elliot brought her a cup of water. "Anything?"
"No," she sighed, sipping the water, "they said she'd lost a lot of blood."
Elliot led her to a chair. "She'll be ok. She's tough. Are you feeling ok?"
"I'm fine," she sighed, taking a shaky breath as she sat down.
Elliot rested a hand on her shoulder. "It's going to be ok."
Still waiting half an hour later, Casey sighed, now resting her head against Elliot's shoulder.
Elliot relaxed a bit against the wall. "She'll be ok."
"I think I'm going to be sick..." Casey managed, before quickly sitting forward, throwing up on the floor.
Elliot wrinkled his nose, used to it after four kids, and called over a janitor, asking for a trash can.
"Sorry..." she sighed, resting her head back against the wall, rubbing her small bump.
He sat back beside her, setting a small trashcan in her lap as a janitor came by. "Don't worry. I've been through it before."
"Excuse me?" a nurse asked. "Can I get you anything? Detective Stabler explained the situation."
"Actually, could I have a word?"
The nurse nodded as Elliot walked toward the elevator.
Casey watched him go. "I... I'm bleeding..."
The nurse helped her up into the room a few doors down. "Do you want me to grab him? I'll go grab a doctor."
"No. I... I don't want anyone to know."
"Are you sure? It won't be easy to handle alone," she said, handing Casey a paper gown. "I'll be right back with a doctor."
Casey nodded, quickly changing, then lay down on the bed.
Moments later a doctor walked in. "What seems to be the trouble, Miss Novak?"
"I'm fourteen weeks pregnant and I'm bleeding."
She nodded. "I'll be right back with a machine."
Casey took a deep breath, trying to relax. The two minutes the doctor was gone seemed like hours and Casey looked over at her when she felt the probe on her stomach.
The doctor spread the gel on Casey's stomach, after letting the machine warm up, waving the wand as she watched the screen.
"Well?" Casey asked, nervously.
"Sometimes, it really can mean nothing, but," the doctor sighed, "I'm sorry, Miss Novak. You've miscarried from stress."
Casey swallowed back her tears. "I need to get back to Liv."
The doctor nodded, wiping off Casey's stomach. "I understand. And, again, I'm truly sorry."
"Thank you," Casey replied, slowly stepping off the bed to get changed, quickly heading in the direction of Olivia's room. "Anything?" she asked Elliot.
"They've stopped the bleeding and stitched her, but she's still unconscious," he said.
"Can I see her?"
Elliot nodded. "Yeah, right in there. Do you want me to wait for you?"
"Yeah, I probably shouldn't drive whenever we leave," the attorney replied, pushing the door open to Olivia's room. She slowly approached the bed, taking Olivia's hand in her own, kissing her forehead before sitting down. "I'm here. Rest now."
Olivia gave her hand a light squeeze to let Casey know she heard her.
Casey rested her head next to Olivia's hand as a few tears fell, the events of today coming to the surface.
Olivia turned her head toward her, eyes opening sleepily, wiping her tears. "Shh."
Casey looked up. "Sorry, I was so worried. How are you feeling?"
Olivia rubbed her cheek. "I'm ok," she whispered. "Worried for you."
"Good," she said, standing to kiss her forehead again, "you need to rest."
The injured detective nodded. "You too."
Casey smiled, sitting back down. "There," she replied, Olivia's words from the previous day still ringing in her ears, 'thank you... for taking care of me this time'. It was then she made a conscious decision to put Olivia before herself right now.
Olivia held her hand tightly. "Love you."
"I love you too," Casey smiled, squeezing her hand as they both fell asleep, exhausted, her head in its original position next to Olivia's hand once more.
The next morning, the sun shining through the blinds, woke Olivia gently. Her hand was still holding Casey's tightly, as she stroked her cheek with her knuckles.
Casey stirred then looked up at her. "Hey, how are you feeling?" she smiled.
"Ok, but my throat's a little dry and a bit scratchy," she said, coughing, but getting nothing.
Casey picked up the glass of water by the bed, holding it to her lips. "Here..."
Olivia smiled, draining the glass. "Thank you."
"Can I get you anything else?"
The detective shook her head. "You're ok...aren't you?"
"Do I look ok?"
Olivia thought a minute. "Well, you look happy that I'm going to be ok, but..."
"Because I am. Liv, I thought I was going to lose you," Casey replied, stroking her cheek, "you can go home soon as long as you rest."
Olivia scooted over. "Come sit."
Casey smiled, sitting up next to her.
Olivia wrapped her good arm around Casey, resting against her. "You haven't lost me yet. I love you. And you," she said, resting her hand on Casey's stomach.
Casey closed her eyes. It was that or cry. "I know," she said softly.
Olivia held her close. Casey's demeanor had drastically changed, and she was afraid of why, but now she needed to get better. She needed to rest.
"I should go and see what time they're going to discharge you, and check on Elliot. He stayed the night."
Olivia nodded. "Yeah, go ahead. I'll sleep."
Casey kissed her gently, slipping from the room. "Morning," she said ten minutes later, handing Elliot a coffee from the machine down the hall.
Elliot sat up. "Morning. Thank you," he said, taking a sip of coffee. "How is she?"
"Sleeping, but she seems better than yesterday. Thank you for staying," Casey sighed, sipping her own drink as she sat down.
"Coffee? Casey, that's not good for you now." he said.
"It doesn't matter anymore," she said quietly.
Elliot sighed. "I'm sorry. Have you told her yet?"
Casey's voice became shaky. "No. How can I? She'll blame herself."
Elliot held her hand tightly. "She might at first, but she'll know it's not true. Casey, you two are in this together. And you both need to bear the losses and gains together. That's a lot for one person to carry alone."
"Olivia needs to get better right now. She needs me to take care of her, and if I tell her, she'll want it to be the other way around. Besides, I don't know how to tell her, Elliot. What am I supposed to say?" Casey asked, tears free falling as she rested her head against his shoulder.
Setting his coffee on the floor, he held her tightly. "Right now, nothing. You're right. She needs to be physically better to help both of you through this. When she is...you'll find a way or she'll figure it out."
"It was so tiny, Elliot..." she sobbed.
He held her tightly. "I know how you feel. We've never told anyone, but, about a year before Kathleen was born, we had this happen too. It's not easy. And we think of the child every birthday for the kids, Mother's Day, Father's Day...every holiday. The pain his gut-wrenching at first, but the days went by, the pain went away. You never forget them Casey."
Casey nodded, wiping her cheeks as she pulled away slowly. "I need to get back to Liv. Can you drive us home in an hour?"
He nodded. "Of course," he said.
Casey stood, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Thanks," she said, raking a deep breath before she walked back into Olivia's room, kissing her cheek, "you can go in an hour."
Olivia looked over, wiping Casey's eyes. "Emotional day?"
Casey nodded. "I can't wait to get home and lay with you for hours."
"Yeah, I agree. I need more rest."
"They're just organizing your painkillers, then Elliot is going to drive us. He said someone will come and get your statement in a few days."
Olivia nodded, hugging her close. "I love you."
"I love you too, Benson," Casey replied.
But that moment seemed so long ago by the time they got home and she got Olivia settled in bed. She made sure there was plenty of everything Olivia would need before finally getting into bed next to her.
The detective lay on her back, propped up by pillows.
"Are you comfy?" Casey asked.
Olivia nodded. "Just wish I could wrap my arms around you."
Casey smiled, moving herself against Olivia's good side, wrapping her arms around Olivia's middle. "This do?"
Olivia nodded again, leaning against Casey, being careful of her shoulder. "For now."
Casey closed her eyes, her body and mind exhausted from the past twenty-four hours. "I'm so glad you're ok," she whispered.
The brunette kissed her gently. "Me too. Sorry if I scared you."
"It doesn't matter. Get some sleep."
Olivia sighed.
What do you think? More coming soon!
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