Yearning

By: Liv-x-Case-Benson & dcmasters

Ch. 6: Heartbreak

A few days later, with constant rest, Olivia was feeling a lot better. Casey occasionally disappeared for time to gather her thoughts and she had snuck out of bed fifteen minutes earlier whilst Olivia slept to shower.

Olivia sat up against the pillows. She was trying to wake up, but the meds she'd gotten tended to knock her out.

Casey returned, dressed, hair wrapped in a towel, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Good morning," she smiled, kissing Olivia gently.

Olivia smiled, taking off her sling so her shoulder wasn't stationary anymore, but where the sling came off, pillows supported her. "Ah!"

"Feeling better?"

"A bit. I'd sure like some coffee though," the detective said, trying to relax without the support of the sling.

"Coming right up," Casey smiled, returning with a mug of coffee five minutes later, handing it to her.

Olivia smiled, taking a long sip. "Mmm, thanks. Are you going into work today?"

"No, I've got a few weeks off. You need constant supervision."

"Constant? Even when I'm sleeping?"

"Yes. Because the second I leave you you'll probably try and run a marathon," Casey replied. What she really wanted to say was 'because I'll fall apart'.

Olivia sighed. "Sure, yeah, I'm going to risk more injury while my girlfriend's three and a half months pregnant."

"I think I left the light on in the kitchen," Casey said, quickly disappearing. When she reached the kitchen, she rubbed her face, leaning against the counter. She wasn't sure how much longer she could hold it together.

Carefully, Olivia followed her, after she replaced her sling, wrapping her good arm around her. "I'm sorry if I said something that upset you."

"You should be in bed," she managed weakly, a tear slipping down her cheek.

The detective shook her head. "No, I'm worried about you."

"I... the thing is... I..." was all she could manage.

"Sweetie, I'm not angry. I'm worried. I don't like seeing you upset. Please tell me what's wrong."

"I... lost the baby. I'm so sorry," Casey whispered as tears flooded her face.

Olivia held her close, rocking back and forth with her. "I know, but that baby wasn't meant to be ours. There will be one or two or three or...as many as you want. I promise. I'm not angry because it wasn't our fault. I love you. Very, very much."

It was a long time before Casey settled. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

The detective shook her head. "You just did."

"I just feel like I did something wrong. What if it's me that's the problem?"

Olivia shook her head. "It's not you. You're perfect. You're...young, virile, and healthy. It was the stress over what happened, but I'm ok now and everything's going to be ok."

"The morning sickness might last another couple of weeks until my hormone levels go back to normal, that's why I took a few weeks off. I used your accident as an excuse. I should really tell them. Can we go back to bed or cuddle on the couch?"

Olivia shook her head. "Both are believable. Let's watch a movie on the couch."

"Ok. You go get comfy and I'll make us something to eat and make a couple of calls."

"How about hot chocolate and popcorn?" the detective asked, kissing her cheek, going into the living room to make a bed on the couch.

Casey put the kettle on, setting up the popcorn maker as she pulled out her phone, dialing Cragen's number.

"Cragen."

"Hi, it's Casey. I know you said Olivia could take a week then come back on light duties, but I wondered if she could take two weeks?"

"Yeah, that's no trouble. We'll only call in absolute emergency. Everything ok?" Cragen asked.

"Not really. The day of the incident, I um... I lost the baby, and I need Liv with me right now."

He sighed. "Guys, I'm so sorry. By all means, take two weeks and if we need her, we'll limit it to interviews. Again, if I can do anything..."

"Actually, you couldn't let everyone there know, could you? I just don't want a fuss made next time I see everyone."

"Casey, no one knows, but Elliot and myself. We made certain of it, but I could just to make sure."

"Please. People are going to wonder where I am. I need to go and call Branch."

"All right. I will," he said, hanging up.

Casey made a similar call to Branch, repeatedly apologizing for the inconvenience before hanging up. She made her way through to the living room a tray holding two hot chocolates and a big bowl of popcorn. "What are we watching?"

Olivia was half-asleep on the couch.

Casey smiled, placing the tray down, snuggling up to Olivia, dropping a light kiss to her neck.

Olivia smiled, laying her head in Casey's neck.

"Sleep if you want, I don't mind."

Carefully, she readjusted, reaching for the cup.

Casey helped her, moving the popcorn between then as she pressed play on the film.

The detective leaned into her.

They spent most of the next two weeks this way, Casey not really speaking, but it didn't matter. All they needed was to be close to each other.

Olivia knew she was supposed to be taking it easy and she was trying to, while trying to help both of them overcome their loss.

"You were right," Casey offered, waking on the couch early on the morning they were due back to work.

Olivia stretched, wrapping both arms around her. "About what?"

"It wasn't my fault, it just wasn't meant to be... and I want to try again, soon."

Olivia smiled, kissing her deeply. "Let's let you heal a little more first, ok?"

"Yeah. We can try again in a few months."

Olivia nodded. "Ok. Honey, I am sorry for what happened."

"It's not your fault," Casey smiled, kissing her gently. "Can I ask a favor?"

"Anything."

"Next time... can I go on my own, when I'm ready? That way there's no pressure and the first you'll know of it is when I'm pregnant."

Olivia let out a breath. "Ok, if that's really what you want, but I'd go with you either way."

"I know you would. Just this once, if it doesn't work you can come next time."

The detective nodded. "All right."

What do you think? More coming soon!

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