Chapter 17

Return.

(there was some sort of error with the chap, not sure if it was me or FF either way I'm sorry. thank you mjmcca for notifying me)

I PASSED 100 REVIEWS! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

I've never reached such a milestone and definitely didn't think I was going to achieve it here so thank you all so much.

I know many authors offer request fics for such times, but the truth and matter is the reason my writing teacher hated me was I can't write when being told what to do. Still, thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far.

Now on with the story!

….

Iruka sighed and rolled over with great difficultly, Kakashi's death grip made it hard to move, so he could curl up into Ibiki's warm chest.

Soft light filtered through the crack in the curtains, weakly illuminating the room and its three occupants. Raising his head slightly Iruka glanced over at the clock to see the time before groaning and letting his head all back against the pillow.

Then he realized he was still on medical leave and didn't have to scramble through the house and get to the academy in half an hour. Not that he could have, it wasn't his house, but Iruka always focused on the happy things – or at least tried too.

Grinning Iruka rolled back into Ibiki's arms, settling back down for a while longer.

Kakashi sighed behind him, the copy nin rolling slightly, the long legs tangling around Iruka's while the pale arms snuck around the slender waist, pulling the younger man close while one hand pressed against Ibiki's stomach.

Ibiki grumbled sleepily at the movement but settled back down without waking, shifting forward slightly so Iruka was firmly pressed between him and Kakashi. Iruka had to resist the urge to laugh, he was completely pinned in place. Even if he had wanted to get up, there was no way he could have managed it

Unfortunately, Ibiki's alarm clock chose that moment to turn on and begin blaring loudly.

Kakashi – who had never owned an alarm clock, ever, in his whole life – sat up so fast Iruka was half worried he'd given himself a whiplash. Ibiki reacted differently.

The big man simply rolled, removing one arm from around Iruka the other staying under the younger man, keeping him tucked firmly against the muscled chest while the other arm lashed out. Big hand landing squarely on top of the blaring device and ending all its noise with one final crunch.

Ibiki then promptly rolled over, pulled Iruka back into both arms, and fell asleep.

Kakashi remained upright, staring at the pile of plastic and wire that used to be a clock with something between horror and awe. "He didn't use any chakra"

Iruka hummed in question as he tried to wiggle around in Ibiki's hold so he was facing the other man. "Whatcha mean Kashi'?"

"The clock" Kakashi pointed uselessly. "He didn't use any chakra"

"So?"

"He dented the table"

Brown eyes widened and Iruka tried to sit up so he could see but was hindered by the steel taunt arms around his middle. Wiggling a bit and craning his neck he managed it, surprised to see Kakashi was right; Ibiki had hit the clock so hard it had left a dent in the solid metal table.

Iruka raised one brow before turning back to Kakashi, whose jaw was dangerously close to dropping open. "You glad I stopped him from hitting you now?"

Dumbly Kakashi nodded, grey eye never leaving the once clock.

Then a beeping started from the other side of the room.

Iruka and Kakashi had barely even turned toward the noise when Ibiki grunted, flicking his arm up to the headboard before moving out, sharp whistling of shurkin was heard as the pointed stars sped toward the new alarm on the other side of the room, hidden neatly on the book case. There was another crunch before that one too stopped dead.

Sighing Ibiki rolled back to his previous position and fell asleep.

Kakashi and Iruka were now staring at their scarred lover, matching looks of confusion and awe on their faces.

"I knew I wasn't the only one who destroyed alarm clocks like that!"

Kakashi glanced over at the younger man; still trapped in Ibiki's thick arms, and rolled his eye. Only Iruka would focus on something like that. "I wonder why he set more than one"

Iruka snorted. "Obviously because he destroys them before they can do their job"

At those words a third blaring came from the living room. Ibiki groaned and rolled to his back, running a hand over his face before the black eyes opened blurrily.

"Kakashi" the deep voice slurred the word. "Be useful and go turn that off?" if they'd been asked both nin would have agreed there was a definite whine to Ibiki's tone.

Kakashi grinned. "Uh, aren't you supposed to get up when those go off?"

Ibiki groaned again. "Get up; deal with hangover Anko's, cocky Aoba's, sober Hokage's and fucking Elders. Turn. It. Off"

Kakashi paused all of one second before he leapt off the bed and bolted – buck naked – from the room, the insistent beeping stopping soon after. Ibiki let out a sigh of relief and made as if to roll back and resume sleep, but Iruka moved away from the seeking arms.

"Ruka" the deep voice had regained its growl ability. "Get back here"

Iruka grinned cheekily and shook his head. "You have to get up and I have to do my stretches."

Ibiki sighed and sat up. "Fine, but Hatake's making the bed"

Iruka grinned. "Did I ever say I had issue with him being used for slave labor?"

"Hey!"

Kakashi stalked back into the bedroom, still naked, and crossed his arms. "I protest!"

"You weren't last night"

Iruka burst out laughing while Kakashi flushed at Ibiki's mutter. The interrogator hauled himself from the bed and moved to the closet, pulling out a uniform before heading to the shower. Iruka grinned at Kakashi before he grabbed his underwear and a white long sleeve from the floor.

Kakashi's eye lingered on the dark legs as the chuunin left the room for the kitchen. Iruka knew, but let it go; there wasn't anything he could really do anyway. His clothes were back in the wash and none of Ibiki's pants were going to fit him.

After finding all he needed Iruka set about making a big traditional breakfast for the three of them, ignoring Kakashi who was making a general pest of himself with practiced ease. Ibiki appeared moments later, back in full uniform. Grinning he took his loaded plate and began eating, not bothering to sit down as he inhaled the food with speed that would have impressed Naruto.

"So-"Kakashi's head tilted curiously "What's with the alarm clocks of doom?"

Ibiki paused and sent the innocently grinning copy nin and glare. "Ask Ruka, someone whose job includes near death at the hands of six years olds on a good day knows why"

Iruka snorted and shook his head. "No, no Ibiki, the un-trained demons are just fine, it's the trained ones that still act like kids that scare me"

Ibiki grinned as he cleaned he plate and dropped it in the sink. "Good point; least the six year olds don't have a sex drive"

Iruka burst out laughing while Kakashi suddenly found himself very grateful he was on active duty.

Ibiki sighed as he glanced at the clock. "Do you think the Godiame would buy the excuse 'I thought it was Sunday' if I didn't go in today?"

"Well, she doesn't buy my rabid chinchilla story so, no" Kakashi pilfered Iruka's coffee and collapsed back on the couch, glancing through a gardening book curiously.

Ibiki grinned as he grabbed a stack of files. "Mmm, worth a shot."

"What's so bad about going in today?" Iruka looked up from where he was pouring himself another coffee. Ibiki's grin faltered.

"Anko"

"Oh" that was all that needed to be said. Kakashi and Iruka glanced at each other, matching looks wavering between pity and amusement on their faces.

Ibiki noticed and groaned. "She's going to maul me for information, you realized this?"

Iruka shrugged. "So bring a distraction"

"What? Dango won't work. That would being like trying to stall Naruto with ramen, works for a few minutes - till they finish eating, then you're back at square one."

Iruka smiled. "True, so bring something more distracting"

Iruka frowned. "Such as-?"

Iruka's grin turned feral. Putting a finger to his lips the chuunin snuck to the living room where Kakashi was reading an article about snapdragons.

Iruka pounced. The book when one direction while Kakashi gave a yelp. That was all he could manage however as within seconds his arms were crossed and tied as well as his legs. He dropped to the floor with a grunt.

"The hell Ruka?!"

Iruka grinned. "Toss Kashi at her and your home free"

Kakashi's eye widened. "No! Bad idea! Very bad! Don't listen to him Ibiki!"

Ibiki burst out laughing, but shook his head. "Untie him Iruka; bondage should only be used as punishment in bed"

Iruka cackled while Kakashi blushed against his will. Glaring daggers at the younger man as he was untied. "You're an evil creature Ruka"

Iruka blinked. "You already knew this Kashi"

Ibiki chuckled again as he slung his bag over one broad shoulder. "He's right Kakashi. It's fine, I'll just use black mail – or find Gai, which ever happens to be easier."

Nodding Iruka grinned and released the final wire, merely beaming in face of Kakashi's glare as the copy nin flopped back down on the couch. Ibiki shook his head again, in hopelessness this time.

"So what's the plan for you two today?"

Iruka hummed as he wondered back to the kitchen and filled the sink with water. "Nothing, as far as I know. If Tsunade sent any messages they probably went to my house"

Ibiki nodded. "I'll check for you, but feel free to stay here if you'd like. What about you Kakashi? I refuse to believe you have today off as well"

Kakashi grinned, but didn't look up from the magazine he was thumbing through. "I didn't have the last two days off either."

Both Iruka and Ibiki stopped and turned to glare blankly at the silver haired Jounin.

"Are you trying to make Tsunade kill you?"

Kakashi's grin widened. "No, but you have to admit her seething glare is rather funny"

Iruka sighed with the air of one giving up a hopeless case. "And just what, may I ask; will your excuse be for being two days late?"

The grin disappeared and Kakashi looked up, face completely serious. "Well, for starters. I was fucked senseless by a sprite and his bear. Then a water imp tried to drown me while I was cleaning its pond, and after escaping I got lost – as usual – and had to bribe my way out to get home while simultaneously stopping a war – which is why I will need a raise in my salary – and then when I finally got back, the sprite and the bear found me again"

Iruka and Ibiki stared at the grinning copy nin, twin looks of disbelief on their faces. Slowly Iruka glanced in Ibiki's direction. "Do you want to maul him, or may I do it?"

Ibiki shrugged. "Too much work; let's just leave Tsuande to it"

Kakashi pouted. "You guys are no fun"

The other two shinobi ignored him as Ibiki dug out the last of his papers from behind a bookcase and Iruka finished the dishes. Sighing Ibiki straightened and motioned to Kakashi. "Come on, I have to drop some files off at the office first, you can come with me"

"Why?" Kakashi crossed his arms and legs, leaning back casually against the couch in a clear refusal to move.

"Because I may be able to minimize how badly she hurts you"

Kakashi pondered it a moment before sighing with the air of one severely misunderstood and standing. Iruka smiled, watching the silver haired man slouched over to find his shoes as he leant over to whisper to Ibiki.

"You really think she'll go easy with you there?"

Ibiki shrugged, scarred lips tilting slightly. "Maybe, depends on how drunk she is"

Frowning Iruka glanced at the clock. "Its nine AM"

The grin grew wider as Ibiki leant over, pressing a kiss to Iruka's lips before he lumbered out the back door, telling Kakashi hurry up and giving Iruka a final "See you tonight" as he left. Kakashi trotted over to claim his own kiss before dashing after the big man, muttering swears in Wave when he almost landed in the tulip bed.

Quickly moving to the front window Iruka smiled as he watched them walk away. They were walking close to each other, but not together. To anyone else watching they would have believed the two Jounin had just happened upon each other while walking the same way and were simply walking the same pace until one would go off another direction, leaving the other without a word.

Iruka knew they would stay like that all the way to Tsuande's office, but hey, old habits die hard.

Finishing what cleaning there was to be done and retrieving the clothes from the drier Iruka headed out. Planning a trip back to his house for necessary items, as well as a quick stop at the market to restock Ibiki's kitchen. Cooking for both Kakashi and Ibiki, not to mention the pack last night, took more food than an average meal.

Grinning at that thought Iruka grabbed his boots from the back door and slipped out, the house locking itself with chakra behind him.

None of his neighbours were around when he returned home, something Iruka was grateful for given the fact he'd just disappeared for two straight days. It was a quick trip, mostly for new clothes as he'd been wearing too long shirts for the past day and a half. He still had his brown dress pants but they were ripped all the way up the right leg and weren't really suitable for public use. Walking home or doing the gardening in them was fine, but not really all that comfortable.

Finishing with packing and changing into a clean set of cloths Iruka grabbed his cloth bags and started toward Toren's store, when the sound of an explosion drew his attention to the Mission Room. Which now had smoke billowing from its windows. That in itself didn't really faze him – explosions in the mission room were as common as injuries at the Academy, no matter how careful you were, it was going to happen. But since he had a few hours to kill a stop in to see what was going on couldn't hurt.

Grinning Iruka changed direction, cutting off through the back alleys to reach the village's unofficial center.

The smoke had died down slightly by the time Iruka made it to the building and slipped through the door. Moving to his hiding spot from earlier Iruka pressed himself close to the wall so he could hear what was going on inside.

There was cheering and laughter, as well as shouting and the predicable sound of singing, least it was in key this time – a rare thing in a ninja village. Finally someone screamed out that everyone should "Shut the fuck up" before the speaker used a lightening justu in a very creative way. The funniest thing was the person yelling sounded like Tori.

Impressively the noise died down after that, not silence, but a definite improvement toward calm.

Staying crouched in his hiding spot Iruka waited, knowing that at some point a group would move to the corner to talk in relative quiet.

"Little fire breathes been taking lessons from Ruka"

Iruka grinned and peeked through the small hole in the wall to see Anko's distinctive boots.

"She needs to stop looking so terrified well doing it, but still, she's the only one with enough guts to try" Kurenai's high heels came into view as the genjustu user leant against the wall. "Now what is this rumor you've been dying to tell? Someone was saying something about Kakashi and Ibiki."

Anko gasped. "What? You don't know? Where have you been woman!?"

"Recon, last week and a half. Someone also said Iruka's out of the hospital?"

"The runts out for sure, and back to his schemes" Iruka grinned at the sound of Tsume's voice. Only the clan leader called him 'the runt'. It stemmed off the fact he was still a teen when he'd been handed her sons class. Talk about being thrown off the deep end. "But I'm with Kury on this, what about Morino and Kashi?"

Iruka was sure if he could have seen Anko's face it would be lit up at the prospect of two out of the loop gossips.

"The day before yesterday, the two of them were in the Jasmine together with Ruka, on a date. A threesome date."

Iruka could hear the perverted glee in the Kounichi's voice as she stressed the last bit, there was also a decidedly smug touch to it, meaning both Kurenai and Tsume had reacted accordingly.

"A threesome?" he could see Kurenai's jaw hanging open in his mind.

"My, that's a tasty picture." Iruka slammed a hand over his face. Trust Tsume, that woman was worse than Kakashi.

"But-" Kurenai again, he could see her frowning in thought. "Morino and Kakashi? I thought they hated each other."

Iruka grinned. Definitely not what I got from last night.

Anko shift on her feet. "I thought so too, but Ibiki confirmed it. I tried to hunt him down yesterday to get more answers but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went after Kakashi, turns out he was supposed to sing in for duty two days ago and never showed. Then I bumped into Aoba this morning and asked him if he'd seen Ruka since they were neighbours, but he told me Ruka hasn't come home the past two nights"

"Holy Kami of hotness"

"Two days? Even I don't have that kind of stamina"

Iruka clapped his hand over his mouth to stop his laughter. Perverted Kakashi may be, but he had nothing on the village Kounichi.

"That's not all" smug delight was clear in Anko's voice, this must have been one of the best days of her gossip whore life and the fact she got it before Genma – herself proclaimed rival - would just be sweetening the deal. "Ibiki was supposed to come into day, but according to one of the interns he was late because he was bailing Kashi out from a world of pain at the hands of an extremely sober Tsunade"

Both Tsume and Kurenai gasped. Standing up to a sober Tsunade for someone else was basically a confession of undying love – at least that's what most of the village believed anyway.

Still curbing his need to burst out in loud hysterical laughter Iruka stood, deciding it was high time to add to the drama. The plan to jump in behind Anko and scare the daylights from her in mind Iruka moved toward the door, when the sound of someone running full speed toward him made the chuunin pause and pull back into the shadows.

It was the right decision. Not a moment later Kotetsu appeared around the corner, a terrified look on the bandaged face as he raced full speed for the mission room doors. Iruka drew back farther into the corner as he let the other chuunin pass him before quietly following him into the room.

He hadn't seen Ko since the hospital, when he and Izumo had visited after their shift and even that was hazy. They'd been drawing any remaining toxins from his body via a medication that left him feeling like he'd just finished a shot game with Raidou. So he hadn't been 'in it' at that moment, to put it lightly.

He'd learnt the other day Izumo had recovered from his cold and the pair had been sent back to gate duty together. He'd planned on stopping off to say hi at some point, but then Ibiki and Kakashi had happened. Tetsu and Zu were the wonderful kind of friends that didn't take offence if you ignored them for a while well dealing with your own chaos and Iruka had certainly needed to deal with his own stuff the past few days.

Now, as he followed his friend into the mission room that had instantly quieted at Kotetsu's arrival, Iruka could do nothing but rack his brain for just what would have scared his friend so much. Izumo was usually the one to freak out – not Kotetsu.

Unless something had just happened at the gate. Between the two of them, Zumo was faster, thanks to his smaller, lighter body, but he was also the better talker. When it came to stalling dignitaries, Izumo was the one for the job. Ko would just end up insulting someone or yelling.

"Hagane! What's wrong?" the commanding words were barked out by Raidou. The big red head seemed to have sensed the same thing Iruka had, Kotetsu was distressed to the point he was responding purely on training. A rare thing with the fun loving chuunin.

"Narmiashi-san" Ko's eyes were wide, seemingly unable to see anyone in the room other than Raidou, the breathlessness in his voice having nothing to do with his run. "At the gates, a party from Stone. Two guards, one dignitary, one member of Stone T&I. They are demanding entry and an interview with Hokage-sama"

The whole room froze that the words 'T&I'. A low growl came from the corner where Tsume was standing but Iruka couldn't focus as his chest seemed to have collapsed into his lungs, making it suddenly very hard to breathe.

"What do they wish to see Tsunade-sama about" Raidou's voice had dipped in volume, but the necessary commanding tone was there.

"The circumstances concerning the murder of Interrogator Son'u Mobi"

Kotetsu's whisper fell heavy and loud in the dead silent room as every eye in the room turned to Iruka, standing frozen in the doorway. Belatedly Iruka realized he must have not stopped his gasp at the sound of Mobi's name.

"Iruka-" Raidou took a step forward, only to stop again when haunted brown eyes turned and locked with his.

Iruka held Raidou's gaze a moment longer, not really seeing the other man at all, before he turned on his heel and fled the room. Ignoring the calls of his name as he ran, full tilt down the hall and into the street, legs beginning to protest and throb in the places Mobi had speared them but Iruka ignored that too, pushing himself harder as he sprinted toward the Hokage's tower. One thought consuming his mind.

Find Ibiki and Kakashi.

…..

I'm sorrrrrryy! Blame Shale! It's her fault! I was planning on doing a sickenly sweet ending and skipping off into the sunset! THEN THIS HAPPENED!

Well, least you get a few more chapters….

Review if you don't wanna kill me – actually, review if you do want to kill me. And post up your favorite line, I love knowing which lines made you laugh, example-

"Good point; least the six year olds don't have a sex drive"

Is mine *beams*