Annnnd I updated again. I know I said I wouldn't but I always lie or just somehow do the opposite to what I say about updating. ANYWAY I'm not sure when I'll update this again, could be tomorrow, could be in a week or two but I will keep updating for sure! Thanks for the reviews guys and will just have to wait and see what happens to the both of them, no promises either way. Anyway I haven't really got anything else to say so: Enjoy!
Matthew climbed slowly onto the ledge, exactly where he had been earlier and stared out in front of him for a moment. Tears finally pushed their way out onto his cheeks but he made no effort to wipe them away. He sighed deeply in an attempt to stop himself from shaking so much; He didn't understand why he was, earlier it had been so simple but now he felt conflicted. All he'd wanted for weeks was to end his life and he couldn't work out why he didn't just step over. He glanced behind him, giving into the false hope that maybe Gilbert was there again. Of course not, at least he had cared though. Someone had cared, that was all he had wanted so why wasn't he more prepared to leave now?
Matthew looked straight below him, to where he should already be and "Oh". Gilbert, the one person who had bothered, it wasn't fair if he met the same fate as Matthew. He let out a sharp hysteric laugh at his own stupidity but he knew he couldn't just leave him. He'd always prided himself on doing the right thing and, dead man or not, he couldn't start making exceptions now. Gingerly, he got down from the ledge and started back towards the café. This was stupid. What was he doing? He should just kill himself, who was he kidding? Somehow though he couldn't help it, he had to at least try.
Matthew looked through the café's windows and was unable to find who he was looking for "Dammit, I should just go back" but before he turned away, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a tuft of white hair three blocks down the street at a bus stop. He grimaced and started walking quickly towards Gilbert. With two blocks left he yelled out, hoping to be heard before the bus got there but unfortunately wasn't loud enough so he broke into a run. Matthew saw the bus rounding the corner and cursed himself for not being louder or faster. But, he supposed what he was doing was already stupid enough and he needed to go all out. Speeding up to his limit, or perhaps faster than that, he saw gilbert hop onto the bus and made a last desperate dash to reach it before the doors closed.
Matthew managed, through some miracle, to reach the bus just as the doors were closing. The driver noticed him and opened the door again so Matthew could step on. He tried to wave to Gilbert, but was interrupted by the driver asking for payment. Groaning he patted down his pockets, Crap, he hadn't exactly thought he'd need money that day. Finally Gilbert noticed Matthew standing awkwardly at the front of the bus and handed him the money for a ticket "You're welcome" before returning to his seat.
Matthew let out a sound between a laugh and a sigh as he took the ticket from the driver and followed Gilbert to a seat. He smiled at him a little managing out a weak "Hi…"
"What made you come back?"
"I don't want you to jump. And I can't convince you if I'm dead" Matthew replied flatly.
"Why not? It's not like I'm important. Plus, I couldn't even convince you to stay."
"You're the only person who bothered with me...that's pretty important."
"Not like it stopped you from wanting to die." Gilbert sighed and looked out the window.
"I told you. No one could have done that. And I know I'm an idiot for coming back to try and stop you. But I'm on the bus now, it's too late for me to go back" he said, unsure if he regretted his decision.
"I guess so." He sighed again. "What makes you think you can stop ME though?"
"I told you, I'm stupid. But...I at least have to try; you're the only one who tried to stop me..."
Gilbert chuckled "I guess I am."
Matthew took a deep breath "I guess I really didn't think it through did i?"
"Think what through? Your death?"
"No. The thinking I can help thing. I can assure you I thought the bridge over long and hard..."
Gilbert looked back at Matthew "You never know what will pull someone from the edge until it happens."
"Yeah, I suppose so" he agreed, eyes widening in sudden realisation "Gilbert…where exactly is this bus going?"
"I'm going back to my apartment, near the train station."
Matthew laughed a little "I'm gonna have a fun time finding my way back home"
"Why? How far away do you live?"
"Judging by the way this bus is going, on the other side of town." Matthew said, sighing wearily at the prospect of walking home.
Gilbert hummed in thought for a few moments"...why don't you stay over tonight? I won't risk a suicidal kid walking anywhere at night."
"I suppose, if it's alright. I mean I wasn't planning on going home tonight anyway and I really don't know my way" he laughed awkwardly "Plus…It would give me more time to try".
"More time for both of us." Gilbert said smirking at the boy.
"Right" Matthew said nodding and looking out the window past him "nice neighbourhood". Gilbert shrugged and pulled the signal to stop. Matthew stood up so he could get out as well and followed him down to the front of the bus, nodding to the driver as they left "so which way?". Gilbert pointed to the left and started walking.
Matthew followed him silently, contemplating the bizarre situation he'd managed to get himself into and wondering if anyone else had ever not killed themself so they could try and convince the person who had tried to convince them not to kill them self, not to kill them self. He couldn't even begin to imagine the odds on that one.
Gilbert glanced back every so often as they walked; making sure Matthew hadn't gotten left behind.
"So you live alone?" he asked seeing if he could guess which one of the buildings Gilbert lived in.
"Yeah, but I still have my brother's room and junk. In case he wants to come back."
Matthew nodded gingerly "I'm sure he will one day."
"Who knows?" Gilbert sighed and stopped in front of an old-looking door.
"Is this it?" Matthew asked stopping behind him.
"Yep," He pulled up a loose brick and pulls a key from its hollowed-out inside.
Matthew smiled a little at the hidden key, waited for Gilbert to open the door and followed him inside. Looking around he noticed it was a bit messy, which somehow suited the man.
"Make yourself at home Matthew."
Matthew followed gilbert into the lounge room, nodded and took a seat "It's a lovely place."
"Its home, I guess. It's all I have."
"Well I like it. Can't see why you would ever want to leave." he said giving a forced grin it was nice but it seemed a little-
"It's empty" that.
"Ah, right" he said nodding a little "Well at least for tonight it won't be"
"Yeah. I guess it won't be." Gilbert smiled a little bit
"Got any coffee?" Matthew asked "It's been a long day"
"Nope. I don't. Sorry."
"Damn" He said leaning back in the chair "That's okay"
Gilbert smiled a bit "So. How long were you planning for?"
"Well I wanted to for a while, but I picked the bridge a month ago" Matthew replied
He nodded a bit. "Ever imagined how it'd play out?"
"Not really. I guess it's odd that I didn't but I didn't want to think about it too much. Just get it over and done with. What about you?"
"Several times, especially when I'm bored."
Matthew nodded "Did you ever not do it, when you imagined it?"
"...Only the first time and only because of a jogger calling the police." Gilbert admitted
"Never thought you wouldn't be able to jump because of some stupid kid?"
"Not even for a second." He chuckled "But its funny how things never turn out the way you plan."
"So, how long have you been on your own?" Matthew asked.
"Half a year since my brother left, but he wasn't here very often when he lived here".
"Oh" Matthew said, it sounded horrible living on your own that long but he couldn't think of anything else to say on that subject. "It's been a funny sort of day hasn't it?" he asked trying to find some possible way to make Gilbert believe life was worth living when he didn't believe it himself.
"It has been" Gilbert sighed "Y'know I was really pissed off at you at first"
"Because I took your spot?" Matthew asked.
"Yeah, selfish right?" he laughed bitterly "My brother liked to call me selfish."
Matthew frowned and shook his head "You don't seem selfish to me. I mean, you bought me coffee" Not exactly motivational stuff.
"Yeah…" he sighed "I wonder…what would have happened if I had looked away, if I had done nothing." Gilbert looked away in his thoughts "You probably would have jumped. I would have come home today and planned for another day…"
"Yeah…" Matthew replied, humming thoughtfully "I wonder if you made the right choice".
"I wonder that too…" Gilbert sighed, "I wonder every moment"
"Well, whether it was the right choice or not, thankyou gilbert for y'know trying." He wanted to help Gilbert but had no idea what to say "You're a good person".
Gilbert smiled, "You're a good person as well Matthew. Our decisions good or bad, we may not know until later." He looked at Matthew thoughtfully "Want to go with me for coffee again tomorrow?"
A small, soft smile spread onto Matthew's face "I'd love to and I don't think I planned anything for tomorrow." He rolled his eyes slightly at his own terrible humour that wasn't really appropriate "So I'm free".
Gilbert chuckled "Alright, sounds like a plan."
"Are you sure you are okay with me staying here tonight Gil? I don't want to stay if I'm intruding but… I'm worried what you might do alone" he mumbled the last line.
"Nah you aren't intruding, I invited you," Gilbert grinned "Don't worry about it okay?"
Matthew nodded "So I don't really know what to do in this situation", shifting awkwardly in his seat "Any ideas?"
Gilbert shrugged, "I'm not sure…I'll order pizza for dinner. What do you like?"
"Nothing spicy," Matthew replied immediately "i…if that's okay, I just really can't stand spicy things."
"So…no peppers?" Gilbert quirked his eyebrows as Matthew's discomfort seemed to grow "Or something else."
"No peppers. Unless you want them; I'm fine with anything. I just need a lot of water if it's spicy" Matthew laughed, not being very good with decisions and beginning to get a little flustered. "Sorry I'm not very decisive."
Gilbert chuckled at his nervousness "No no, it's okay. I don't like peppers anyway."
Matthew smiled "Sounds good then. Would you mind if I got a drink of water in the meantime?"
"Go ahead" he said returning a gentle smile "I don't mind at all". Matthew got a drink from the kitchen as Gilbert ordered on the phone, taking note of the level of dust that had settled over the bench tops.
Matthew returned to the lounge room rubbing the back of his neck "Sorry I can't help pay Gilbert. I…I left my wallet at home today"
Gilbert chuckled, waving it off and gesturing for Matthew to join him. "It's okay, don't worry about it".
"So what do we do until it comes; Got any good stories? I'd tell you some of mine but I haven't really had many odd stories in my life."
Gilbert shook his head, "Tell me about your family. I told you about mine so it's only fair."
"Oh my family isn't really exciting. My parents fought a lot, divorced when I was little and I don't really talk to them anymore. I moved out with my twin brother Alfred who is just a little overwhelming but he usually forgets I'm around so it's not really a problem for me. And that's my family, not really exciting"
"Ah…" gilbert sighed, "I'd show you my bird but I let it go"
"Really?" Matthew frowned "I'm sure it misses you a lot, what kind of bird was it?"
"A canary, I had a chick once but it got sick and died when I was little." Gilbert gazed out the window "I let Gilbird go this morning"
Matthew nodded and laughed a little at the name-play. It made sense why gilbert had let him go, he wished it didn't but it did "Gilbird eh? That's cute".
"Yeah it kept me company when Ludwig left, Guess it didn't help that much though…"
Before anything else could be said the doorbell rang and interrupted them. They ate the pizza and agreed to go to bed despite it being early as they were both exhausted. In spite of Matthews's protests, Gilbert opted to sleep on the couch and let him use his bed. It was indeed more comfortable than a couch but he still felt bad. He supposed it didn't matter though because that morning Gilbert was going to kill himself but instead they had pizza and tomorrow Gilbert was going to kill himself but now they were going to have coffee. That was at least a step in the right direction.