Trigger Warning:

Suicidal Themes

So, here's another chapter! I don't really have anything I need to say except that my other fanfiction "Ashes to Ashes, Kisses to Bites" is officially completed so I will hopefully be updating this more frequently. Also this chapter is really really really really really short and i'm sorry about that but I'm already half way through the next and that'll be normal sized.

Beep, Beep, Beep. The heart monitor wasn't in the room anymore but after 6 hours, the sound still resonated in Matthews ears. It didn't seem that long but the half-hourly visits from nurses gave him a mark of time where the overcast sky could not. Gilbert was still asleep in bed. They should be at the café right now, getting breakfast and arguing over who's turn it was to pay Couldn't we just pay for ourselves, but instead Matthew was here and Gilbert was unconscious.

Matthew was angry. He was angry that Gilbert had done this, that he couldn't see he was important but that was wrong. He should feel worried and upset but he didn't, he felt angry. He decided to ignore the anger because it was silly so he sat, and waited and didn't think as Gilbert slept.

It was another half an hour before Gilbert fazed into reality, limbs stretched in the sun as it peeked out between clouds. He turned sleepily away from the window and opened his eyes upon a very weary Matthew.

Despite his attempts to ignore it, as soon as he saw Gilbert awake he felt angry, he wanted to screech and yell but in sleep-deprivation he could only manage a slightly jumbled "You. Utter. Piss-fuck"

Gilbert's eyebrows creased momentarily in confusion before recognition flashed through his eyes. He managed to piece together Matthew's image and blurred memories from the night before. His dopey smile crumbled and his body sunk below the blankets "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck" the word rushed out from his lips, each rendition more panicked then the last.

Concern clouded Matthews mind, not replacing the anger but overshadowing it. He reached cautiously out but Gilbert's body repelled, spilling inwardly into itself. "Gil…what's wrong? What happened?"

Over a painstaking ten minutes, amongst cries and curses, he managed to pick out the repeated phrase "He's gone" but he couldn't make heads or tails of it. As far as he knew Gilbert only really knew his brother and Matthew but his brother had left months ago, not last night. Even when Gilbert calmed down he didn't respond to any of Matthews attempts to comfort him and just looked out the window.

He didn't remember falling asleep; one minute he'd brought Gilbert coffee and the next it was 3pm. The rainclouds had completely parted now and the room was flooded with warm light. Gilbert's mood on the other hand, had not improved over the gap in time.

"He hasn't spoken at all" a nurse's voice came suddenly from behind him and he wondered if she'd been waiting for him to wake, how long? "You can go home if you like Matthew, we'll have to keep him for another night or two"

"No" he glanced between the nurse and Gilbert, unmoving "I mean, is there anyway he come home today?"

The nurse paused, shoes tapping the floor in thought "Oh we didn't realise you lived with him"

Matthew realised his strange choice of words and shook his head "I don't but I can stay with him, I just don't think a hospital is a great place for him".

She nodded, mulling it over before turning to leave "I'll see what I can do"

Matthew was right, the hospital was the last place Gilbert wanted to be. He wanted to thank him but he couldn't, nor could he smile. Not now, not ever again.

They were allowed to leave within half and hour under the condition that Matthew would stay with him for at least two days or until he saw fit. He decided Gilbert's house would be better, Alfred would be too much of a bother. The house seemed even more empty then last time as rather then clean disorganisation it more resembled a battlefield. The kitchen was the worst off, shards of cups and plates littered the floor, a chair was splintered and crooked against the doorway, and the phone dangled off it's hook emitting a low beep through the house.

Gilbert hadn't acknowledged any of it or Matthew, and simply torpedoed for his bedroom. Despite his best offers of coffee, dinner and conversation the door remained closed and locked. In fact the only thing that proved he was still alive were the sporadic mumbles, bangs and shouts coming out of the room.

Matthew eventually drifted to sleep, askew across the living room set. When he woke, the house was silent as if holding it's breath for the invisible keg to once again light, Gilbert must have fallen asleep at some point too. He sat patiently for several minutes, unsure if he should risk waking the other up but eventually realising he'd have to move at some point. He decided to make breakfast in hopes that Gilbert would want to talk more today but unfortunately most of his food had been used as ammo and he could only manage coffee. That was enough though, the food wasn't really the point.

It was not long after that Gilbert finally exited his room. Matthew was sucked into a book and didn't notice his approach until he was in the doorway, standing dishevelled and exhausted. Matthew opened his mouth, nothing came out. Gilbert followed in suit, and moved to his side.

"Gilbert-" he breathed, unsure how to break the tension, but that was enough.

His face broke and then his arms and his stance, he fell into Matthew "He's dead Matt, He's dead. My little brother is dead". He cried, and they cried together and it all made sense but that didn't make it any easier for Matthew. How could he help when someone's whole world had been snatched…he could hold him and they could cry together

See guys, no need to worry. Gilbert didn't die….

yet.