Chapter 1: Aftermath

Lieutenant Commander Ashley Williams paused as she stood with her shipmates looking at the wall with the names of the Normandy's fallen. Admiral Anderson's and Edi's names had just been added. She was surprised after all of the devastation that there was any of the Normandy crew left to put the names up. She held Commander Shepard's name. It was because of him that any of the Normandy crew was still left.

"Nobody gets left behind," he used to say.

And he did everything in his power to insure that they weren't. She looked down at it through tear streaked eyes, unable to place it on the wall. She thought about their parting back on Earth. She and Garrus had been badly injured and Shepard made sure that they got out before he charged ahead into the beam. She had changed her clothes, but her injuries were still very apparent. She could barely stand, let alone carry on as the Normandy's skipper.

But she knew that she had to. Sobs fought to escape her, but she fought them down. Not in front of the crew, she thought. I have to be strong for them. She reached forward to place it, but then stopped and just held it for a moment. A wan smile appeared on her face and she then withdrew the placard.

"He's alive," she said, still smiling slightly.

The others looked at her with puzzlement. Only Garrus looked at her and nodded. The rest of them just stared incredulously. They knew that Shepard was most likely dead. Ashley looked at her crew and her friends. As a Council Spectre and the highest ranking Alliance officer on board, Ashley had assumed command of the SSV Normandy.

"Shepard is alive," she repeated. "And he's likely still trapped on the Citadel. Joker, we need to plot a course to the Citadel. Nobody will last long there without help."

Joker blinked at her. He wasn't quite sure what to say, as he was certain that Shepard was dead. Edi had died from the discharging of the Crucible, and Shepard was filled with Cerberus tech. But Lieutenant Williams was a superior officer and her order was within reason, especially aboard the Normandy.

"Are you loco?" Lieutenant Vega could not believe what he was hearing.

"You don't stand in the barrel of the biggest gun ever fired and live to tell about it! No way!"

"But Shepard wasn't in the barrel, James," said Garrus. "He was at the trigger, firing that gun down the throats of the Reapers."

"Liara," pled Ashley, "you handed Shepard's body over to Cerberus knowing that they could bring him back. You put your faith in them. Please have faith in me. Please!"

"I will stand with you," Liara said, smiling weakly.

"Ashley," interjected Vega, "Shepard's tough, but there's no way. And we have orders to return to the fleet."

"Vega, my mother and sisters are on that station," Ashley retorted, her voice raised. "And I'll never give up on Shepard. Never!"

"You humans are naïve," said Javik, shaking his head. "And I'm surprised that the Turian is indulging you in this. Nobody survived the blast, including your family. Shepard is dead and the Reapers with him. Let him rest. He has fallen heroically. Mourn him and remember him. Your child will live because he has died."

"What?" Ashley's jaw dropped. She nearly fell over, but she caught herself. "Okay, what are you talking about?"

"Your biochemistry is altered," explained Javik. "You were with Shepard before the attack on the Illusive man. You now carry his child. He will live on in your progeny. Do not prolong your agony by imagining that he lives."

Ashley blushed, embarrassed that this Prothean could read her physiology at a glance better than she could herself.

"Then it is even more imperative that we confirm if he is alive or dead," said Garrus as he steadied her. "And if it were my family, you know I'd go back for them."

"That's right," said Ashley, happy for an ally. "I will do everything that I can so that my child will have a father! And Sarah just lost her husband . . . I won't leave my mom and sisters. I won't."

"It does not matter," said Javik. "I have fought and bled with you. All of you. And Shepard has avenged the Prothean people. If you choose to mount a rescue mission, I will go. Regardless, after we are finished, I will part ways with all of you, as I told Shepard I would. Whatever course of action you take, I am with you."

Garrus nodded approvingly. He knew the stakes. Most of the crew was looking at Williams like she was insane. Everyone knew that she and Shepard were lovers, which was against regulations. If she took the ship into the Citadel to mount a rescue mission, it would be risky at best, and Shepard had been declared killed in action. Lieutenant Vega was now the XO and could relieve her of command. Garrus could not, no, would not let that happen. He owed Shepard that much. He just stared down Vega. A cold, sniper's stare. On a Turian, it was impressively terrifying. Joker swallowed hard, and he wasn't even the recipient. James didn't press the issue.

"Nobody gets left behind," she said.

"Yes ma'am," he said glumly.

"Joker," Ashley said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He turned to look at her.

"We'll get her back."

She smiled softly. Ashley Williams was not the girly-girl softie that many women were. She was a soldier. But every so often, her feminine, nurturing side shone through. This was one of those times. While he didn't believe it, it was very comforting that she was as determined that Edi could be retrieved as she was that Shepard still lived.

"Yes, ma'am," he said as he turned and made his way to the bridge.

Joker looked at the empty seat to his right. Edi was gone. Not even her voice was to be heard. He remembered how badly he wanted her gone when he first took the helm of the SR2 Normandy. By the time the battle for Earth began, he could not imagine not having her there by his side. But now, she was gone.

"It's awful lonely up here without you, Girl," he said. He paused for a few moments, hoping her voice would come through and say, "I'm right here, Jeff," but it never came. Edi was gone. Joker took to the task of getting the Normandy airborne. If Edi could be recovered, Shepard would probably be the key. He didn't know how; Shepard was no programmer, but it seemed that when the Commander was on deck, everything was possible.

Diana Allers smiled broadly at the turn of events. Even she didn't believe Shepard yet lived, but the Normandy crew mounting a rescue mission was big news. And if Shepard lived, Diana wanted to be the one to report it.

The Normandy lifted off gracefully, in spite of the hard landing and enduring abuse through the war against the Reapers. Joker engaged the FTL drive and the ship surged forward. Even without the relays, the Normandy could get there fairly quickly from where they were. She was, after all, the fastest ship ever built.

The fleets had each arrived at the rendezvous point in the Horsehead Nebula. All ships except the Normandy were present and accounted for. With the com buoys down, there was no way to reach them. All who looked out their window could see the relay was damaged beyond use, perhaps beyond repair. Admiral Hackett hoped that the Normandy hadn't been lost in the destruction. No, he thought, that isn't happening. Then there was the question of Commander Shepard. He had just fired the biggest weapon ever built, and he fired it manually. He could only imagine the horrors that the Commander had had to face in the Citadel. It was entirely likely that the entire population of the Citadel had been killed and processed by the Reapers. They weren't even sure that the council had escaped. He thought about all of the warnings that Shepard had given. To think of the millions of people on the Citadel dead was monstrous. But at the same time, the Council had viewed the Citadel as being somehow removed from the battle. The fact that Shepard had warned them three years ago that the Citadel was a reaper trap, the idea of using it as some kind of safe haven was ridiculous. Whatever he had faced, he'd gotten it done and saved the galaxy.

"Sir," came the voice of Captain Rosenfeld, "We sent a tech crew to work on the com buoy. They haven't restored full functionality, but we have intercepted communications from the Normandy. I thought you'd like to know."

"Where is she?" asked the admiral.

"We've intercepted an urgent communication from Lieutenant James Vega. We haven't responded yet because we need to know the disposition of Commander Shepard. Admiral Mikhailovich declared him KIA," replied the captain.

"Did he, now?" Hackett did not sound amused.

"Yes, sir," replied Rosenfeld without missing a beat. "Vega wants to confirm that this is accurate."

"Why?"

"Because Lt. Commander Ashley Williams has taken command of the Normandy and has ordered her to the Citadel to mount a search and rescue operation for Shepard, sir," replied Rosenfeld. "He is considering whether or not to relieve Lt. Commander Williams of command. This message was sent to Alliance Command. We aren't the only ship that is receiving this. Mikhailovich has already responded saying that Shepard is KIA. If you know differently, it is urgent that we get this information to the Normandy before Lt. Vega takes action."

Admiral Hackett stood silent for what seemed an eternity to Rosenfeld. In truth, Shepard was most likely dead, but at this point it was too early to declare him dead. Nobody had inspected the station. Shepard was definitely MIA. As to whether he was alive, that was anybody's guess.

"We have no information on Shepard's status one way or the other," Hackett finally said. "Raise him and tell him to hold tight."

"Yes sir!" And with that, the captain ordered the communications officer to relay the message to Vega.

"Keep me up to date," replied Hackett. He then retired to his quarters. It had been a long day.

An hour later, the captain returned to Hackett's side.

"Sir," he said saluting, "We cannot raise Vega. The buoy is working, but not consistently. Also, the Normandy probably is in need of repairs as well."

Admiral Hackett stood silently for a few moments, pondering the situation.

"We lost all communication with Shepard after the Crucible was armed. He is most likely dead, and regardless, Vega is a marine and has an N7 commendation. If he's heard from Mikhailovich, he's already acted by now."

Rosenfeld's eyes widened at the ramifications.

"Continue trying to establish contact with the Normandy," Hackett continued. "We need to know her current status."