A/N: It's not exactly how I had this chapter pictured in my head but it just didn't want to work in the original way, so I approached it from the exactly opposite side. Hmm, well... I guess the only thing I can do is to leave you to it and hope you're not going to hate me very much.
Even though the plane's speed was big, from the inside it felt like it was very slowly moving through the air towards its destination. When people looked through the window they felt like it was not moving at all. But it was, and the flight was slowly getting to an end. It was a reason to be happy, yet there was a person on the board, who next to happiness, felt a nervousness, which was increasing with every passing minute.
He sat comfortably next to the window, but didn't look through it at all. His focus was fully concentrated on the picture he was holding in his hands. It was a photograph he always had with himself, hidden in the inside pocket of his jacket or somewhere behind cards in his wallet. It was always there, in the place, where it wasn't very accessible for everyone, but where he could always reach and get it out. It wasn't big, so it wasn't so difficult for it to go unnoticed. It showed one person, who he didn't even had a real chance to meet, to see for real not only on the paper. A baby, dressed in a pink romper and a matching hat, her big, brown eyes, glued to the person, who was taking the picture. He has never thought it was actually possible, but he could feel love warm his heart every time he was looking at the girl, and it didn't matter that he only knew about her thanks to this picture, that he has never seen or held her in his arms, that he had even no idea what her mother has named her. She was his daughter, his own flesh and blood, and from what he could judge by this picture, their relatedness was quite visible in the child's features.
She also happened to be yet another huge reason why he has never given up on his hope of coming home. If he had listened to his mind, he would have lost it a long time ago. But he didn't, and it was still there, all the time, even though the chance of it coming true was getting smaller with every passing day, turning into weeks, months. This hope, this dream of coming home and seeing his loved ones again was the only reason that kept him going, that made him get up from bed in the morning instead of getting lost in the sadness, that he can't be there, with them. And now, that he was on the plane going to them, he was nervous.
It's been much longer than either of them suspected it could be, and he knew that his return would be quite a surprise for everyone, who knew him. He was perfectly aware that for the past months he was thought to be very possibly dead. He was sure that after such a long time, and his lack of showing up alive, they all assumed he has indeed died in this explosion and he couldn't blame anyone for thinking this way. It was most probably based on the assumption that if he survived, he would come back home and show that he's as fine as it was possible at the time. No matter how much he wished he could do that, he couldn't, so he also didn't.
"So, this is who is on your mind, when you have this dreamy expression on your face, and your mind is far away." voice of Steve, the man, who became the closest thing to a friend he had, got him out of his thoughts. "Well, this little one and her mommy. I'm never going to understand how you've managed to keep this picture from me. Anyway, just give it few hours and you're going to see them."
"I can't wait..." he said and sighed, earning a surprised look with raised eyebrows.
"You don't really sound convincing, you know?"
"What if she doesn't want to see me?" he asked, and Steve's eyebrows only moved a little higher. "What if she got to terms that I am not going to come back to her, and decided to forget about us and move on? What if she is in a relationship with someone, who is also a daddy to our little girl, and by showing up I'm going to make all of this only bigger mess for her than it already is..?"
"Well, you can stay out of the picture, ask for a new identity, and move to another city, start a new life... But is it what you want?"
"No, it's not... In fact, it's the exact contrary of what I want. There is nothing I wouldn't give to have my life back... Still, I am aware that getting it all back isn't going to be so easy, and to be honest, I am scared of it..."
"I am not saying that you're not going to have to fight for it, but I think it's worth it, isn't it? Your wife may have moved on, but if she's anything like you spoke about her, there is still going to be love for you somewhere deep in her hear, even if she may not be entirely aware of it. And when it comes to your daughter, you deserve to be a part of her life just as much as she deserves to have a daddy, her real daddy. So even if it turns out there is another guy in their lives, fight for them. It may seem hopeless at the beginning, but in the end it may turn out to make your relationship even stronger."
It was Jack's turn to look at Steve with a surprise in his eyes; he has never suspected this man capable of giving such deep lectures. Hudson had no idea that in the upcoming weeks he was going to cling to those words very much, because they would give him the strength not to give up.
Hours later he found himself standing in front of the building where he has been living for quite a few years. He knew Sue was still living in his apartment, or theirs, as it should be called. He felt like his stomach was squeezed tightly, and he was looking at the windows of the apartment for a long while, trying to gather the courage to go there. It was more difficult than he thought it would be, and even though he felt like chickening out, he knew that he couldn't do it. He definitely cared about them too much to allow himself to be a coward and walk away.
"Sparky..?" his heart jumped, when he heard his old nickname in a very familiar voice with Australian accent, and he was sure that if his hands weren't hidden in his pocket, they would be shaking quite much right now. He slowly turned around to see the tall figure of his best friend, the man's blue eyes were widened in shock but a huge smile was gracing his lips. "It's really you! You're alive, Mate!" before he was able to even think of it, Jack found himself wrapped in a tight bear-hug, barely able to breathe. It felt like an eternity before Bobby released him, grinning from ear to ear, his hands going to rest on Jack's shoulders, gripping him tightly and shaking him a little with his every word. "I don't think I've ever been so happy to see anyone! I thought I'm never going to see you again, we all thought you were dead!"
"I know..." only in this moment it struck Manning just how still his friend seemed. Of course, he wasn't exactly the person Sparky wanted to see the most, but he seemed distant, completely indifferent to their meeting at all. It was then that he started to wonder, how much has Jack changed, how much this whole experience affected him. There was no doubts that it had to, the question was only how.
"Why are you standing here, instead of going to her?" asked Bobby, watching his friend curiously and he could see uncertainty in his eyes.
He nodded to himself – of course, Jack wouldn't be sure if it's such a good idea. In fact, Bobby was a little afraid of Sue's reaction as well, but he definitely wasn't going to tell it to the brunet. He knew that no matter how much their lives changed, he had a very big reason to go upstairs and make it known to the woman that he's alive. Maybe not a reason big in size, but definitely very meaningful one; a cute, adorable, dark-haired and brown-eyed reason, who was able to capture everyone's heart with a single smile, which she inherited from her dad as well with no doubts.
"It's still early morning, she's probably asleep..."
"Well, my presence here is definitely an evidence that she isn't. She's up, preparing to go to the morning mass, and Uncle Bobby came here with his weekly visit to babysit." he said before he was able to bite his tongue and the smile faded from his face. It suddenly struck him that Hudson probably has no idea about the little angel, so the mention of babysitting could take him aback, but he didn't notice that. Actually, he noticed the man nod his head slightly, and started to wonder if the man listened to him or was just trying to show him that he has his attention, while in reality he didn't have it.
"What's her name?" he heard a moment later, when Jack's head turned to him and the man really looked at his friend for the first time. "Our daughter's..."
"Emily." Bobby couldn't hide the surprise in his voice, but still a weight was lifted from his heart that the man was aware of the girl's existence. "Emily Jackie Hudson."
"Emily..." repeated Jack, his voice barely audible and Bobby could swear he saw tears glistening in the shorter man's eyes for a moment.
He didn't know why Sue was so insistent on using this one for the first name for her baby girl since the moment she got to know she was having a daughter. How could he know that she remembered very well the talk they had just after they got engaged, when Jack mentioned that it was a name he always thought of giving to his daughter if he would have one. The choice of girl's middle name was quite obvious, nobody had any doubts that it came out of Sue's want to connect her to Jack somehow.
"Shall we actually go to the apartment..?"
"Yes, we should."
Jack could feel his heart batter in his chest, when he followed his friend and then stood in front of the door to the apartment he knew so well. He was standing in front of the door so many times, but he has never been even half as nervous as now. All his worries seemed to come at him at once, attacking him from everywhere and it really wasn't giving him any much needed courage to face his wife. How Sue was going to react at the news of him being back? She had every right to be angry at him, hate him even, but after knowing her for quite some time he just couldn't picture hatred in her. He didn't really expect her to throw herself at him, magically forget about the time they spent apart and settle back to what it was back then.
What he did found, however, was something he hoped was only going to remain one of his darkest imaginations, and when he actually realised what he was getting himself into, he was wondering if he wouldn't do better for the sake of her good opinion of him if he decided to remain just an observer.