A/N: Thanks for those, who decided to give this story a try... Well, I can only hope you are not going to hate/kill me after this chapter... It wasn't easy to write for me... Just in case, I want to remind that it's just the beginning of the story, and there is still quite a way to go. Well, enjoy.
Sue glanced at the clock impatiently, wondering where Bobby was. She really had to leave soon, but she couldn't leave Emily alone, while taking her had absolutely no sense. Bobby was always there by this hour, not even once he was late, and she didn't know what was happening. She checked her Blackberry and there was no message or unanswered call; she knew he would have called her if something suddenly turned up. Was it possible that something happened to him?
She jumped when Levi nudged her with his nose to get her attention and ran to the door, and she sighed with relief, knowing that her friend was okay and he just had to be stopped by something. She didn't know this something was not only a person, but also her - believed to be dead -husband.
Her eyes widened in shock when she opened the door to see Manning's company. She was staring at him, completely not knowing what she should say or do thanks to the mix of different emotions. He was really the last person she expected to see there, especially now. She was clinging to the hope that he will come back for a very long time, probably much longer than anyone else on her place would, but as the time passed, it was slowly being replaced by the realisation that he wasn't coming back. It was difficult to accept it, but the pain was slowly subsiding and she believed that she could safely say she finally came to terms with it. And there he was, showing up, obviously alive, waking up all those mixed feelings inside her. Because of them she wasn't even able to determine how she actually felt about this whole situation.
Jack was staring at her, too. Yet, for him it was a completely different experience than for her. He has been thinking about this moment every day, it was something, what kept him going and now it was finally taking place. He had to fight very hard with himself in order not to wrap his arms around her to hug her, what was his first impulse. He knew he couldn't do that, and the expression on her face only reassured him in this conviction. Still, he couldn't take his eyes off her face; yes, she has changed a little, just like anyone would expect after such a long time, but she still looked like here remembered her. She was still the most beautiful person he has ever seen, and the shortest glance of her hazel eyes was able to make his heart crazy.
Bobby stood there for a moment, watching the two with a worry. Even though it wasn't exactly in her style, he was a little afraid that Sue may lose it and explode. He knew that even if she wasn't showing it, deep down in her heart she would feel hurt. He witnessed her explosions influenced by sudden wave of emotions a few times after the infamous day of being informed of Jack's possible fate, all of then connected to his person, and he was scared there may be another one. He sighed with relief, when he noticed her just stare at the man, and then waved his hand to get her attention.
"Isn't it going to be a little better if we go inside?" he suggested, and Sue nodded, moving to the side so the two men could enter.
Manning stepped inside without hesitation, in the contrary to Jack. Hudson felt a sudden wave of uncertainty if he should, especially that he was unable to judge how Sue felt about his unexpected appearance. He believed that just showing up like this wasn't the best way to announce his return to Sue, and he asked Bobby if it wasn't going to be better to prepare her for it, but Crash wasn't very eager to agree. He can't help but think that both – or maybe three – of them must feel awkward and he was really starting to wonder if it was a good idea after all. But there was no way out now and he had to face it.
"Sorry for being late, Sue, but you probably understand that after I saw him on the opposite side of the street, I had to check if it's something with my eyes or it's really him."
"Yeah, of course..." Sue managed to get out and the silence fell again.
It was way more uncomfortable than any of them imagined it could be. They were just standing there, looking at each other for a moment until the silence was broken by another voice, quiet and sleepy one.
"Mommy..?"
Jack's eyes immediately moved to the direction it came from and they fell on the little girl, standing in the door to what used to be a room used only to store all those things he didn't really know where to put but needed to keep. Her hair was in a mess around her head, her eyes showing that she must have just woken up, just like the fact that she was in her pyjamas. For the shortest of moments the man looked at the teddy bear she was holding, but then moved to her face again. He let out a breath, feeling warmth spread through his whole body, and his eyes filled with tears. It was like the time freeze for him, and everyone besides the girl stopped existing. There she was, his daughter, the person he craved so much to meet.
Sue noticed the change in him, and even though she couldn't hear it, she realised that Emily must be standing behind her before Levi came to inform her of her presence. She felt her heart clench with worry, but the expression in Jack's eyes eased it, and she realised that he must have known. This realisation, however, made the fear go away and be replaced by another bit of anger; she thought he would see Emily – if not her - as the reason to come back, that he'd think that at least the girl deserves to have him in her life.
"Good morning little Sheila." said Bobby to the child, when she approached them. She didn't really notice that one of the men standing with her mom was her uncle, and a smile appeared on her face the moment she looked up and realised it was him.
"Hi Uncle Bobby!" she said, and then her eyes moved to his companion. It was only when he caught himself staring at the pair of curious, brown eyes, that Jack was gotten out of his trance. "Who is it?" she asked, turning her head to look at her mother.
Sue opened her mouth, not really knowing what she should tell the girl, but before she was able to say anything, Jack crouched in front of her with a small smile.
"I'm Jack." he said, extending his hand. He glanced at Sue, and noticed her give a small nod to Emily, before she looked back at her father and took his hand with a shy "Hi.".
He shook her hand before she moved away and stopped slightly behind Sue, who cleared her throat.
"Um, well... I have to leave now... You're going to be fine, right?" she asked, looking at Bobby and the man raised his eyebrows.
"Of course, Sue, I'm not always fine with our little star." he grinned and went straight to the girl, lifting her up and took her to another room, swirling her slightly around, making her squeal happily.
"I know you may not feel like you want to, but I think that we actually should talk..." stated Jack, carefully, trying to judge the woman's feelings and after a moment Sue nodded, her face showing that she really didn't feel completely fine with it.
"I really need to go now if I don't want to be late... But we could talk on the way, if you accompanied me..."
"Sure."
They left the apartment and then the building in silence, and for a while they didn't spoke a word as they were walking towards the church. Sue didn't seem eager to open any conversation between them, she didn't really know what she could say. It was Jack, who insisted they should talk, and even though she couldn't disagree with him, she felt like he should be the one talking. If they were to talk, he was the one, who had the explaining to do.
"I know that this is all kind of... unexpected..." he finally said, and all he get in response was a nod, confirmation that he had her attention. "It wasn't supposed to look like this and... I can't expect everything will be back to how it used to be before I left..." he winced at the thought, that it sounded like he disappeared from her life willingly, like he decided that 'them' is not what he wanted and made the decision to abandon her. "I understand you are angry, you have every right to hate me, and don't want me back in your life... I would stay away if this was what you wanted, but Emily... I want to get to know her, to try to form a bond with her, and maybe one day be the dad she should have..."
"You are her father and I can not keep her away from you..." she said, when she realised that he was waiting for a response from her. "But if you hurt her..."
"I won't." he said immediately, having no doubts what was on her mind "I am back, and I am not going anywhere. It's not like I left very willingly those three years ago. Let me remind you that I gave any consideration to leaving only because you suggested that it may not be such a bad idea to go to this mission."
"So you want to put the blame, that you were away, on me?" she snorted, stopping where she was standing, feeling everything boil inside her. "Let me remind you, that you had a choice, Jack! You could have gotten home half a year after going away, but you decided to not to come back, not to give any sign that you are alive to any of us! I saw the way you looked at Emily in the apartment, you knew about her but you still decided to stay away! And now you show up and expect that everything will be fine?"
"I do not expect everything to be the way it was back then. I would be an idiot if I did. The only thing I expected was for you to give me a chance to show you that I care!"
"I waited for you to show this to me for over a year! Over a year of clinging to the ridiculous hope that you will show up on my doorstep, explain everything to me and..." she took a deep breath, trying to regain composure. "As I said, I can't keep Emily away from you, but that's it. It may have taken me some time but I moved on. And now, if you excuse me, I really have to keep going."
She walked away quickly, not looking back and Jack wasn't able to stop a groan that left his throat. He leaned against the wall of the building behind him, closing his eyes. He had to admit he didn't imagine it could ever look this way between them, or even feel this uncomfortable. He really didn't think their relationship could change from the very close one to something like this. He didn't think Sue would have such a cold attitude towards him and it was probably what pained him the most. It was all worse than he could imagine, and he was now aware that it was going to be way more difficult for him to even warm her feelings for him, not mentioning to have her back as his wife. Because, with him being alive, she was still his wife, wasn't she?
and Jack had to admit that he has never thought it could be that uncomfortable between them. Of course, it was expected to not be the way it was, but he didn't think it would all change to this extend. Sue was completely cold towards him and he felt like she would rather completely ignore him, if she wasn't aware that she couldn't really do that.