Disclaimer: Kurt Sutter owns all recognizable SOA characters and story lines.

"Breathing comes in pairs

Except for twice

One begins and one's goodbye

But that's enough for now

He should have never left you broken

He should have held you"

-The Fray "Enough for Now"

Madeline's eyes never fluttered open to the morning sunlight anymore. Too often lately, memories caught her breath and startled her awake in a state of distress that rivaled that of any PTSD patient. The morning following what she now referred to as the "incident," Madie's eyes did slowly open, easily taking in the sunlight through the window next to the bed. And for the first time in months, she felt rested and relaxed. Honestly, she hadn't gotten a good night's sleep since the hospital…well, aside from her crash at the bed and breakfast. She had been running on fumes for much longer than she was willing to admit.

She smiled simply because she felt well—until she realized there was an arm flung over her waist. The previous night came rushing back—Happy's betrayal, the hurt look in her father's eyes, and Hap sleeping next to her. She knew she would regret it in the morning. She had let him hold her. But she wasn't mad at him—she was mad at herself for seemingly giving in. She was nobody's fool, and she couldn't let him get close after treating her like a fucking doormat for his dick.

Her good mood having faded, Madeline made an attempt to wrench herself free of his grip. Every inch she would gain, he would pull her back two. "You should stop trying to get free. I'm not letting go."

"Don't get fucking clingy now. You wanted nothing to do with me after you fucked me. Do what you do best, Hap, and walk away from me." He sat up at her words, giving her a chance to get away from him. Happy was still trying to decide what to say when she slammed the bathroom door and turned on the shower.

Happy didn't know how to deal with this situation. He'd never been faced with anything like it before. He was actually trying to get close to a woman, but she wanted nothing to do with him. Granted he had burned her. But shit, he had never been turned down. Bitches went stir crazy trying to get their claws into him. This one had bagged him twice and couldn't wait to get away from him. He'd fucked up. And he needed to atone for his wrongs.

Happy needed to be near her. Even though he could hear her in the shower, it didn't suffice—he needed to keep his eyes on her. She had crawled under his skin and he had this want to keep her there. Slipping from his seat in the bed, Happy pulled off his clothes and silently made his way into the bathroom.

Madeline was standing in the shower, face to the spray of water, and her hands were pressed flat against the tiled wall. She craved him like a drug—one hit was all it took and her body set on fire at the thought of having him. She just couldn't imagine setting herself up for another heartbreak at his hands.

Happy climbed into the shower behind Madeline, wrapping his arms around his hands around her waist and pulling her to his chest. She should have screamed, should have pushed him away, but it was like she had his touch memorized. She didn't need to see his face. Of the few times he had put his hands on her, her body had committed the rough texture of his fingers, the soft glide of his touch and the methodical way he had moved across her skin to memory.

Madeline was letting go to his touch. But she needed to be straight with him. "I want this. It's just physical, I get that. I don't do relationships anyway." She was conceding to letting him have her body once again—but this time with no pretense for anything further.

Hap wanted it to, and even though he was sure he was the reason she couldn't handle relationships, he needed to hear it from her. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why don't you have relationships?"

She tensed beneath his hands. "After I gave you my virginity and you walked away like it didn't matter, I couldn't handle feeling like I didn't matter to anyone again. So I just don't let anyone get close enough. It's my fault anyway. I knew you were notoriously a bachelor for life. You had made that very clear for a very long time. I had a crush and thought I could be the one to change your mind. It was stupid, and I should have known better." She pulled away from him, stepping back under the spray to wash her hair.

Hap stood rooted to his spot. He had a feeling that was her reasoning, he just hated that this woman in front of him was so damaged because of him. His eyes drifted over her body. It was something to behold. She had curves everywhere that mattered and she was toned. The only flaw on her skin, the scarring of her side. He imagined covering it with a tattoo. It would go unnoticeable…maybe a crow. Oh shit, he thought, where the fuck had that come from. That was the moment that he decided that maybe she could be the one to change him, and he would let her, if she could work past her demons.

Happy pulled her back to his chest again, "Don't pull away from me. I'm not walking out this time." Such simple words, but she felt the weight of every one of them. "I'm not saying we're together or anything, I know you can't handle that. But I'm here when you are ready."

Madeline turned in his arms. She didn't say a word. She simple started washing his body—more intimate of an act than she had every shared with any man. He was seeing her vulnerability as she moved her soaped hands across his torso.

Hap washed her hair and ran his hands along her body. He wanted to remember every curve. He wasn't going to have sex with her right now—he wasn't going to cheapen this intimate act that way. "The club agreed that one of us would stick with you at all times. I need to be that person. I don't trust anyone else to keep you safe and I couldn't bear anything to happen to you. But I need to know that you are okay with me watching you—staying with you."

"I never second guess my safety with you. I may have intimacy issues because of you, but I know you'll keep me safe. I'm okay with that." As the suds washed away, Hap held her close. He needed just a moment of closeness before they dried off and headed to bed. He made no move to have sex with her. For that night, he just wanted to hold her—feel that she was safe. And she let him.

AN: The reviews have been phenomenal! I love hearing from each of you. I honestly believe I have the best readers in the fanfiction universe=) …There is some juicy drama coming in the next chapter!