A/N: Another uptade, yippie. The longest chapter so far, but it just didn't feel right to cut it anywhere. I hope you will going to enjoy it! :D
mjentrn - You want me to tell you if there is hope for Jack and Sue... Hope is always there, especially that I am a J/S shipper... Anyway, it's a nice place for you to ask for this, as I think this chapter is going to be the best answer for you :)
She was, yet again, standing in front of him, still feeling the tight grip of his arms around her. She didn't expect such a reaction, but she could feel that he let his guards go down and if it was going to make him feel better, she could only be glad. Not, that she minded standing in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder, his so familiar scent present all around her. She missed him, and up to this moment she didn't even know just how horribly and the truth was, she took a lot of comfort from this hug as well. The difference was, however, that he didn't only kiss her cheek. He did move away, but only to look at her and see how much she desired more and give it to her with no hesitation. His lips felt so good against hers, his hands waking up every nerve in her body as they were gently caressing her. She parted her lips, when she felt the tip of his tongue move along them and moaned, when their tongues met. She wrapped her arms around his neck and closed any distance that was between them, pressing her body against him, melting into his arms as they encircled her. They were both panting heavily, when the kiss came to an end because of lack of air, and she held onto him when she felt his mouth move along her jaw, then down to her neck. She felt like she would fall if it wasn't for his grip; she was completely at his mercy and he could do anything to her, all he had to do was claim her. And he intended to do so; her reaction was more than he'd dare to expect, and he was going to show her just how much he loved, missed, wanted and needed her. And he did.
A smile automatically made its way to her face, when she was starting to slowly wake up. She stretched slightly, and moved a little in order to snuggle into him, subconsciously expecting his to feel his body there. She was a little startled when she didn't, the only thing she touched was a pillow and she hid her face in it, realising that it was all a dream. Of course it was, how could it not? It wasn't the first time she dreamt about him, but it was the first time it was so passionate and realistic. She could practically feel his kisses, his touch on her skin, his body pressed against her as if it all really happened, instead of being a creation of her imagination, or maybe subconsciousness, as she did make love with him and knew what it was like. Her stomach clenched with guilt; she was in a relationship with one man, was wanting another and she wasn't repelled by it, quite the contrary, she felt disappointed when she realised it was only a dream.
She was lying there, enjoying the fact that she had a day off and didn't have to move from the bed yet, for as long as Emily was still asleep. She could, however, think and it was no surprise for her that her thoughts were drifting back to Jack, she had a true mess in her head. The truth was, that she didn't know what to think anymore. One side of her was adamant that she couldn't allow herself to fall back in love with him, how could she know that he wasn't going to go away and break her heart again, and also Emily's. It didn't matter that he left because they both agreed to, it wasn't a case; when he had a choice, he decided to stay away instead of going back to her, obviously choosing something else over her. On the other hand, there was this side of her that made her doubt everything she was convinced of. Would he disappear again and hurt their daughter, who she could see he loved very much, and whose heart he was fighting to win? Would he even bother, if he didn't really care for her? She didn't think so; she knew Jack well enough that when it came to love, he was quite simple. There was nothing in between for him; he was either in or out, with his whole heart, so he wouldn't put a show to pretend that he cared. Also, there was a matter of why he decided to stay away; the truth was, she never really gave him a chance to explain his reasons to her. What if he didn't really have a choice, and staying away was the only right decision he could make? She sighed; the more she wondered about it, the more convinced she was that it had to be the case. She knew him, quite well she thought, and she knew that he would do everything for those he cared for, even if it would force him to make a big sacrifice. What if she was holding a grudge against him for completely wrong reasons, and it should be him, angry at her for treating him this way?
This part of her wanted her to forgive him, to give him a chance to prove that he indeed cared very much and wasn't going to hurt them. She had to admit, that she was starting to think that no matter how much she wanted to deny it, it seemed that she didn't move on as completely as she thought. He still had this power over her, and was able to make her melt with a simple look, smile or touch; perhaps being so adamant about not falling for him again had no real sense, because she never really stopped loving him, just pushed those feeling away into a deep corner of her heart and now, that he was back, they were getting out from there? There was also Emily; didn't she deserve to grow up in a full family? Sue could see just how much she enjoyed to spend time with Jack; it came so easily, so naturally for the two to create what she believed was a very strong bond and she was starting to think of him as about her dad. It was really difficult for her to believe, her daughter never bonded easily with newly met people, and after watching Trevor's efforts, she was only more surprised.
Of course, there was also Trevor. She cared about the man very much, he was the final push for her to accept what happened and try to look for happiness in life without Jack, which she earlier thought was impossible. Yet, she couldn't think about entering something really serious with him if Emily didn't accept the man. No matter what, her daughter was always going to be the most important for her, and the girl was nowhere near being even eager to try and like Trev. Could Lucy's words be right? Could the striking preference of her child be a sign of what would be the right thing to choose?
She talked to her best friend because she thought it was going to help her stop the conflict inside her, but it didn't really work. In fact, it made her even more confused and have more doubts. Before, she thought that she should keep Jack as far from her as possible, but it wasn't very easy with him spending a lot of time with their daughter. And, most definitely, she wasn't going to forbid him to come to her, the last thing she wanted to watch was miserable Emily, her unhappiness caused by the lack of his visits. Now, she wasn't sure her thinking was right anymore and she was starting to allow herself to think of considering returning to Jack. Wouldn't it be worth giving it a try, even if only for Emily, so she could have a childhood she deserved? Maybe in time, she would find out for sure that her feelings for him are indeed still there, and she'd be able to be happy with him, after learning to trust him again? But that meant she would have to finish things with Trevor, and she wasn't convinced she wanted it. She cared for him, and even though she knew Lucy's words were true, that their relationship didn't have a serious future, she felt really good with him. She knew he cared about her too, and she knew that if she chose to break up with him, she'd hurt him and she didn't want to do it. In fact, she had absolutely no idea what she wanted to do, with anything.
She startled, when she suddenly felt an additional weight appear on the bed right next to her, and was about to shout to Levi to get down, when she realised that the weight was too small for Levi, and it wasn't him, coming to her to wake her up. She opened her eyes to see her daughter climbing onto the bed and lifted the edge of the duvet, so she'd slip under it. The girl, still very sleepy and not fully awake, snuggled close to her. Sue smiled, brushing her hair away from her face and kissing her forehead. She really loved morning like this, when she could just stay in bed as long as she wanted and later enjoy the company of her daughter, when the girl would wake up and come to her to cuddle. They didn't happen often, she was usually up well before Emily but it only made her love them more. Yet, this time, she seemed to have a wonderful timing and Sue eagerly welcomed the distraction from all the thoughts going around in her head.
For Jack, on the other hand, dreaming about Sue was something he got really used to. She was in his dreams almost every night for few years now, and just the simple fact of another dream didn't wake any thoughts in him. Yes, he has thought about what happened between them on Emily's birthday and also before his leaving to Wisconsin. In both those moments she allowed her guard to go down and a glimpse of what he caught was warming his heart and giving him hope. Yet Sue decided to completely ignore it, like nothing happened at all. He wanted to mention it, to ask her what she thought about it, hoping to see her feelings and know if he wasn't being stupid with holding onto the hope. But he didn't want to push her; he wanted to give her space, as much of it as she needed, so he just let it be, at least for now.
He was woken up by the sound of his phone, ringing. He chose to ignore it the first time, covering his head with the pillow, but then it repeated, then once again and he finally reached out to the side, to grab and answer it. He was surprised by hearing Anthony's voice on the other end, as he was convinced his friend forgot about him and Jack wasn't very eager to acknowledge it. Ignoring it, at least for some time, was always giving him more time to fight to get Sue back, as the thought of them getting a divorce was in his mind equal to everything being over. But, it seemed, Anthony remembered very well, didn't contact him because he was quite busy and because he didn't have answers for him, but now he had and wanted to meet. He had some time before having to go to the court, so Jack agreed to come and soon found himself sitting in the chair, opposite his friend, drinking coffee.
"I'm sorry it took me so much time. At first the trial was extending and later, when I made some inquiries, the people didn't know the answer immediately and I had to wait... You know how it is. And, what I can tell you is that to get a divorce, you won't need a lot of effort. As long as you're not going to fight about the custody over your daughter..."
"No, we won't fight about it. I'm fine with it being the way it is now."
"Very well. Then it's a formality and all you will have to do is fill the papers, bring them to me and I'll do everything. You'll only get informed about the final decision."
"Just it? No trial, nothing?"
"Yes. As I told you before, during the time you were officially dead, your marriage was legally over. She was a widow, she didn't need to get a divorce. She didn't, but she could get married, and then it would be just an idiotic obstacle, that would need to be dealt with. And I was able to convince the right people that even though you two aren't in this kind of situation, you could be treated the way you would be then. It's going to be easier this way for you."
Jack nodded. He wasn't sure if he wanted it to be easy; the only thing he knew was that he didn't want this divorce at all, but he wasn't going to make problems. If this was what Sue wanted, then he'd just follow. But, it didn't change the fact that his mood wasn't good. As he left Anthony's office with the set of papers they needed, they seemed to be sending him negative waves. Not having decided yet, if he was going to go back to the FBI or think about working somewhere else, he was still on leave, what meant he had a lot of free time, so he decided to go for a walk. A long one, even. The last thing he expected was to feel something collide with his legs, when he was going down the path in his favourite park and small arms trying to encircle him. He glanced down and looked straight into the very familiar face of his daughter, lit up with a huge grin.
The day seemed to be starting as a very beautiful one, and Sue decided that they could as well spend it outside. She knew what reaction she would get from her daughter, and she wasn't wrong at all, as the girl was ecstatic when she suggested a picnic in the park. Sue prepared some food, got everything they needed and along with Levi, they left the apartment to go to their favourite spot. There wasn't a lot of people there, it was Friday after all and most of them were either at work or at school. She spread the blanket on the grass and watched Emily run around with Levi, but close enough for her to watch them.
She was surprised when Emily suddenly started to wave, as if she noticed someone. Sue looked around, but didn't see any familiar face and the girl chose the exact same moment to run in the person's direction. She shouted after her, but the child either didn't hear or ignored her and as fast as she could, she got up, ordered Levi to stay and started running after her. She was faster than Emily, but she wasn't able to catch her before the girl ran into someone. Sue, focusing on her daughter's figure didn't really look who the person was, but when she raised her eyes and noticed it was Jack, sighed with relief.
"Emily Jackie Hudson!" she still said, her voice raised and stern. "How many times do I have to tell you not to run away like this?!"
"But.. Emily saw Jack and wanted to say hi..!"
"Mommy is right, you shouldn't have run to me like this. You should have waved or called out." Jack crouched, so his face was about the same level as the girl's.
"I did..!"
"Then you should have gone to your mommy and ask if you can go to me. But you should never run away like this, okay?" Emily pouted, and it looked like she wanted to argue, but nodded her head. "Now, go to mommy and say sorry."
She watched him, a little mesmerised. She had to admit, that even though it's been a while now since he came back, she didn't have a chance to see him in such a situation. She was even a little surprised at how he seemed to get to their daughter. She was a stubborn creature, and often made a scene when told that she did something wrong, but this time, she didn't. Instead, she just went to Sue and moved her fist on her chest, gave her a hug and a kiss, like she always did when apologising to her mom.
"So, what are the two of you doing here?" asked Jack with a small smile and Emily caught his hand, pulling him towards the place where they had the blanked placed.
"Picnic!" she shouted "You too!"
He looked at Sue, to ask if he should agree and join them. She shrugged with a smile, leaving it up to him so he picked Emily up and sat her on his shoulders, making her squeal with happiness. It seemed Sue had nothing against him sharing their time, so why shouldn't he join? It turned out to be an excellent idea and all of them had a really great time. It was the first time Emily got the chance to spend some time with both of her parents at once, as during Jack's visit, Sue was keeping away to give them some time one-on-one, and it was obvious she was delighted. For people walking around, they looked like a little, happy family, enjoying a nice day and nobody would even suspect that something wasn't right between Sue and Jack. In fact, they spent the whole day in the exactly same way as Jack always imagined how everything should be between them and he didn't want it to end.
But it had to and he felt very reluctant to walk them home in the evening. Even though Sue planned to spend only some time in the park, it all ended with them being out the whole day. Now it was the time to go back; it was starting to get a little cool and dark and Emily was soundly asleep, cuddled to Jack. The distance wasn't long, but they didn't even know where the time passed as they were walking, chatting, just like they used to do in the past. The only difference was the child in his arms, but it was a difference neither of them minded. Soon they were in Sue's apartment and Emily was put to bed, not waking up even once as they changed her into pyjamas.
"She was really worn out." she said, when they left the room "Thanks for spending this day with us, it was great."
"The pleasure was all mine. Well, it's time for me. Thanks for letting me join, I don't remember the last time I had so much fun."
"Anytime." she smiled back and they stood there for a moment, just looking at each other.
There was an internal fight in Jack, whether to just leave or maybe give her another little, innocent kiss and eventually decided that the latter won't do any harm. After all, what could he get besides a scolding? Yet, he didn't on the previous evening so he could as well take the risk. If he wanted to win her back, he had to show her that he cared and wanted it, right? So he leaned in, to kiss her cheek again, but then she shocked him – and herself, too- by moving her face towards him and brushing her lips against his. His heart jumped and he cupped her face, holding her close as they shared a gentle, sweet kiss. Both reluctantly moved away, and looked into each other's eyes; he could see that there was an internal battle taking place in her and he only smiled at her, as if to tell her that he was there and willing to wait, give her as much time as she needed. Without a word, he slowly withdrew and walked out with a small smile lingering on his face.
Sue stood there, for a moment longer and sighed. She really enjoyed spending time with both, Emily and Jack, and she was sure that their daughter loved it as well. She took enormous pleasure from watching her, so utterly happy and in that moment she knew, that it was indeed very worth giving a try. It was only later that she noticed an envelope, which Jack has left on the table and opened it. Her face fell when she noticed that there were divorce papers inside and she felt on the edge of tears. During the whole day she became convinced that he was indeed trying to prove to her that she should give him a chance, and she tried to show him that she was quite close to doing it. The look they shared only ensured her in it, but now she didn't know anymore. Could the papers be the sign, that she was misread his feeling so completely?