A/N: I know, I know, you hate me after the ending of the previous chapter. Your feelings may not change after this one, but the moment, which will change your mind is already written *hums happily*. Unfortunately, it will take me a little time to publish it, but it's always 3200 words of something to wait for! :D Right now I can only hope you're going to enjoy this chapter. :)
During the whole way to his apartment, he was smiling and humming happily. He had hope earlier, but after the kiss and the look they shared it exploded in him with double, no triple strength. They were only the confirmation of what he thought he was watching during the whole day; that the possibility of having her back wasn't as small as he was afraid. In fact, she looked like she enjoyed their time together with Emily very much and wouldn't have anything against it being this way forever. And he did his best to show her that it was what he wanted, that he loved them both and desired to be a part of her life, too, not only their daughter. And then, when she kissed him, she really didn't look like she regretted her actions, quite the contrary.
It was only when he entered his flat and closed the door behind himself, he realised that something was missing. He had something with him and now he didn't. It dawned on him what he has forgotten and he cursed, hitting the wall with his fist; the envelope with divorce papers! He placed it on the table at Sue's, when they got in and went to put Emily to bed. Then, after the kiss, he completely forgot about them and must have left them there. There was no way she was going to know he did it by accident, and he couldn't tell her that he intended to keep them away from her for some more time. What would she think about him?
His first instinct was to storm out and walk back to her, but it was too late. All the happiness present in him earlier disappeared and was replaced by anger. How could he do such a thing?! It all seemed so good and he managed to completely screw it up! He was certain Sue was going to think that he left them there, because he wanted this divorce, no matter how far it was from being true. He hoped he was so close to getting a chance from her, to convincing her that it was worth trying to make it work, and with this stupid mistake he was back at the beginning or even more.
On his way to her on the next day, he hoped that somehow she didn't find them, that they were going to lie exactly where he's left them, but it was a vain hope. The moment she let him in, he noticed the change in her attitude towards him. There was nothing from the closeness, warmth present between them just on the previous day; instead, the distance and cold was back there. He was furious at himself, how could he be such an idiot?
Sue didn't mention anything, when he came. After another night, which she mostly spent on lying restless in bed, she came to the conclusion that she must have been wrong. Yes, Jack did show her more than few times that he wanted a chance from her, but it wasn't impossible it has changed. He has waited, but he could decide to give up and move on seeing, that she wasn't eager to give in. It had to be it; she had to be too late with his decision, she couldn't expect him to wait for her forever. But the kiss they had... This, on the other hand, was telling her something completely different and the truth was that she had absolutely no idea what to think. She would have to wait and see.
"Is it true you applied for another position?" he asked, trying to think of a topic that would be neutral, but still grant him the opportunity to talk to her. There was nothing worse than this horrible, uncomfortable silence between them.
They were both sitting in the living room, while Emily was – in this particular moment – playing with the blocks by herself. It was only a matter of time before she was going to be bored by playing alone, and would want one of them – most possibly Jack – to join her. Until that happened, however, he wanted to use the opportunity to talk to Sue. He didn't really have a chance during their daughter's birthday party, and he didn't want to touch the topic of work on the previous day. He was, however, curious. He was standing in front of an important decision concerning his career, and he had absolutely no idea what he should do. He wasn't sure if he wanted to resume working in the FBI; it might have been his dream job, he might have loved it but his opinion and also priorities in his life changed. Yet, he wanted to get to know all his options before making a choice, and talked to his supervisor.
It seemed that FBI wanted to keep him very much. Obviously, they thought that his skills and experience were very useful. It flattered him, but he didn't feel like being ecstatic just because the bureau wanted him to keep working for them. He was working in the task force for quite some time, and he also had the opportunity to go onto this assignment. He would rather he didn't go there, then he wouldn't lose Sue, he wouldn't miss any minute of their daughter's life and all the consequences, both professional and personal, just wouldn't be there. These incomplete three years he's lost gave him the only thing he was absolutely sure of – there was no way he was going onto an assignment like this again. He couldn't imagine how Steve could work like this, his whole job was centred around those kind of tasks, but he wasn't going to agree to something like this. It was the first thing he told the supervisor, as well as that he would be the most eager to return to his old task force. This, however, wasn't easy because of Sue; he couldn't be put into the team, which his wife worked in, and it was when he heard about her application. If she was chosen for the position, she would be transferred out of the team and it would allow him to be transferred there. But, as long as they were legally married, and she worked there, he couldn't.
"I did... How do you know?"
"I may be on a longer leave now, but I can't stay on it forever. I consider going back to the FBI, so I asked about my options."
"I see. And yes, I think about a transfer. I actually consider it for a while now, but only lately the opportunity arose. It's a position with a regular working hours, Monday to Friday, less dangerous et cetera. I want this transfer for Emily..."
"I understand."
That would be this from their talk. There was nothing else he could think of saying, and he didn't have time to think about something else, because just like he suspected, Emily demanded company. His focus turned to his daughter, and to his displeasure, he didn't really have an opportunity to talk to her some more. It was a huge contrast to what it looked like between them on Friday, then the chat was natural, about everything and nothing at the same time. Now, there was only tension.
He had no idea if he should be happy, when he got the invitations to the annual ball, held for the second time now by the FBI. It was an event, which was supposed to be a prize for those, whose work was the most appreciated, but Jack suspected it was yet another thing to convince him to stay. There were supposed to be a lot of higher-ups, as well as important people in the country, and it was quite clearly stated that the presence was quite compulsory, even if it wasn't told straight. It was during the weekly meeting with Steve, who was yet to go on another assignment, that the man told him that Hudson's old team was one of those very few, who got the invitation for the second time and it meant that Sue was going to be there. Steve suspected that it was going to make him happy, but Jack knew that there was no chance he would get the possibility to go with her. She would appear there with Trevor, and he would have to spend the evening watching them. On the other hand, perhaps he would get the chance to dance with her, even if only once?
He wasn't sure about it. Two weeks passed and nothing really changed. The distance she put back between them seemed more difficult to get rid of than earlier, and it only made him even more angry at himself. But he wasn't going to give up; he knew that if he ever wanted his life to be happy, he would have to be with Sue again. She was the only person he could think of being with, he loved her more than he ever thought a person can love anyone. Of course, he loved Emily as well, very much, but it was a completely different kind of this emotion. With Sue it was this perfect love everyone was looking for, the time he had the chance to be with her was the best of his life and it was exactly what he yearned to have again. Only with her, his life had the chance to be perfect and he intended to fight for her. At first he thought of giving up, but the way Trevor swaggered around him made him change his mind.
At first he thought about bringing a date to the ball, but eventually ended up going alone. It wasn't that there was nobody, who wanted to go with him; there were days in the FBI, where Jack Hudson was one of those agents, who were known by all the women in the building and the heart-throb of quite a few of them. After the news that he was no longer available spread, it lessened but his reputation was still there. There was no doubts that all it would take to convince someone to go with him, was a little effort on his side, but he didn't want to go. He didn't care if he was going to be called a fool, but there was only one woman he wanted to go with, and if he couldn't have her company, he decided against having a date at all.
"A little smile, even if forced, wouldn't hurt you know? You look like your hamster just died." Jack almost jumped, when he heard Steve's voice behind him.
Hudson had no idea how he did that, but the man had a habit of suddenly appearing out of nowhere, even if he was waiting for him and looking around. This time, however, Jack wasn't really waiting for him, just for any person he actually knew. He knew Steve was going to be there, they were considered like they were one team, so they were both invited.
"I really would rather babysit my daughter right now instead of going to this stupid ball." he admitted, accordingly to the truth anyway.
He really would rather spend the evening with Emily, than be in the room full of people, who he didn't really have any desire to even get to know. He was certain he wasn't going to enjoy it, unless some kind of a miracle happened, but it wasn't highly likely. This miracle would have to involve Sue, and with a corner of his eye he could see her standing some distance away from her with Trevor, Myles and a woman he didn't know, but who obviously was Leland's date. He wasn't paying attention to what was going around him mainly due to the fact, that he was watching her.
Steve's understanding humming was what brought him out of his thoughts, and he realised that he was watching her again. His colleague's eyes were fixed on her as well.
"Now everything's clear. Well, don't torture yourself anymore and let's go inside. Come on."
Jack only sighed in reply and followed him into the building. This was going to be a long night.