Mass Effect : Shepard 's Letters
Chapter Three – Gambit Declined.
Silean Nebula, Normandy SR-2
Six days before the Strike against Cerberus
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"Why are you doing this now, Commander?" As much disembodied her voice could sound, Commander Shepard felt in his Synthetic friend's tone a hint of apprehension, "You already have a will accepted by both The Council and the Alliance".
And this is why EDI should forget all about it later… As much a wonderful thing was her intelligence developing in acquiring emotional context, that also meant she could be compromised by those emotions like anyone else. A blessing and a curse. She doesn't deserve to suffer the weight of his decisions right now. He would hope that never, but he had to be ready, that was the whole point.
He archived the files destined to Liara. Rummaged through his terminal for footage from after the fall of the Human Reaper at the Collector Station and from Horizon. Reminding Sanctuary would cost his headache a toll… But the thought on researching Council and Alliance Space Legal Regulations on Heritage matters would be even worse, he guessed. But thankfully EDI was there…
"It's not a will, EDI"- he collected his thoughts, assuring himself as well. "It's about winning this war."
"But the initiatives you're suggesting, they imply…"
"I know, EDI… Listen, were you there at Liara's quarters when she asked how I kept going on with all this mess, this whole time?"
"Yes. I was monitoring."
"Remember my answer, then?"
"I fight for my friends, for the close ones. Thinking about them gives me the strength to go on."
"And as I said it included her, I say it includes you too, EDI"
The AI stays silent.
"So much for the emotionless AI"-he thinks, shaking slowly his head.
"This war is too big for anyone to handle and keep sane, EDI. I've got to keep some goals close at hand, to make the whole thing more real, if you can understand me."
"See my role at this play, I play as errand boy for any guy in the Milk Way who has the next brightest idea that could make a difference on this fight. I hear their bickering, I pledge, I yell and kick. But I don't know those people. They showed me plenty not knowing me."
"Earth, for all the time I've spent there could be no much more than my prison for some six stupid months. I fight for Tali, for the promise of a home I've made her without her even asking; for Anderson who is as important to me as a father, and he is out there at the hell he ordered me to leave him. I fight for the guy bleeding side by side with me. I didn't save the Krogan, Mordin did. But I knew Wrex as a brother, and Bakara as a wise friend. If I had died in Tuchanka having lifted the genofage curse it could have been a good death, as hope would be my last gift for my friends."
"But this is a war in which nothing matters but Victory, EDI, total annihilation being the alternative. Well, Victory and Survival for the Galaxy is all nice and fine, but it will mean shit to me if you all don't get there, you see? The Victory for the Galaxy on this war means at least survival, but not for me. I've died once and came back to see just how wise and grateful The High and Mighty were about my efforts and to my allies…" He frowns. "Alone in this room, when I lay down my head to sleep, EDI, Victory to me sounds more and more just like you all surviving this through…and well, I guess."
"It's naïve reasoning, Shepard…Sorry"
"Ouch! It's OK, EDI…I know"- A mock frown fades in a short smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes, they are hollow…and haunted. "But it's reason as good as any to go on. At least it is how I think I've made this long…"
"…Acknowledged, stand by…"
The Commander raises a brow from what was probably his fifth letter to Admiral Hackett.
"Shepard?"
He was already waiting. "Yes, EDI?"
"I'm troubled."
"Hum?"
"Based on this exchange I've tried to upgrade again my priorities about the definition of success on our mission."
"And?"- He gazes the ceiling, curious.
"While I processed about what you said, when I visualized Flight Lieutenant Moreau's internal profile…It seemed already upgraded but I have not recording of voluntarily doing it. It should not be possible."
He smiles, almost pitying the AI, thinking on the times to come. "This kind of thing is nothing about voluntary choices or impossible things, EDI."
"I'm not sure I follow your statement."
"No, you followed it even more than I could suspect. Do one thing for me?"
"Say it, Shepard."
"Just take care of Joker for us both."
Days Later: Battle for Earth
War Theater, Sol System:
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A veteran from too many battles since Shanxi holds his breath in front of the Tactical HoloMap. Admiral Hacket sets the signal. While the crimson blast from a Reaper just made through a Turian Destroyer, its peers kept heavy fire. A so alien Rachni Dreadnought rams the Reaper fields with what seemed like a giant Warp Field. The now exposed Reaper's hull takes a rain of gunfire from a precise squad of Geth light fighters. The Old Dreadnaught can't raise the shield fast enough as SSV. Orizaba's main guns strike the monster down. A Volus bombardment for good measure and it's over.
"Just a few more thousands to go…" The old man clenches his teeth and breathes… This can't take too long, it's all that we've got! Escape is no worth option, no remaining forces would make it to try whatever it was at a later time.
There will be no later time.
The Crucible, result of months of an interspecies cooperation and work like never registered before, was dead and inert attached to the Citadel Station. All hopes were on a single man, hurt, on foot, supposedly to win this whole war armed with just a handgun… He shakes his head, makes the Elcor fleet shelter the escape of some of the worst damaged ships and keeps the battle on. Not much of a battle left really. More like distracting the slow turning beasts with wasp stings at their backs, while avoiding those death rays without losing too much ground.
Virtual ships at the hologram are wiped out like small candles being blowed off, single ones or at groups at a time. The scarred man sighs…
"We'll keep it on, Shepard…We owe you that very least."
As if listening to him, Captain Hannah Shepard crosses sights with him. He nods. Hell of an Officer… Her son was supposed dead once more, in what? ...less than two hours ago? Put down by a direct hit by the meanest reaper of them all, while making the final run on the London's war field… He hadn't seen her flinch. Her eyes red and hard, her voice pushing the crew ahead with the raw determination he also met in the Commander.
If they could make a weapon out of the look on that woman's eyes, that should make a Reaper run…
At the Normandy's Medbay:
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The former C-Sec ignored for now the electronic nonsense erupting from his QEC link with Shepard. The klaxon got his attention but it was no needed to know they're in trouble. Every crewmen in combat positions, orders barked at every hallway. But what Garrus can't stand is the shaking. This was bad sign. SR-2's mass field should damper the effects of inertia even under attack. The Turian remembers the few times the Normandy felt tossed around like that, and it didn't bode well... A blunt hit to his guts took him out of his musings.
"SHEPARD!" Tali wails, trying to free herself!"Calm yourself, Tali!" Kazumi puts her slight frame over her friend's shoulders struggling to hold her still.
"UFFF, Damn those legs!" Garrus felt the frantic kicks through his armor. "I'll brake more ribs holding you than fighting the Reapers, Tali! Take a grip of yourself! He is alive!"
"I don't listen to him! I don't…" Chakwas manages to stand up after being kicked herself and sets an iron grip on the quarian's arm, applying sedatives through the access port and manacling her to the table.
"Garrus…Where is he? What's that noise? Why are Geth yelling in my head? SHEPARD! Take me to him… Kasumi, please…please."
"You will see him soon, Honey! Sleep now, Imouto, dream with him…" Kasumi turns to Garrus, her eyes scared as well. The lights were nuts, the ship was shaking and the transmission from the Citadel sounded scrambled. What the hell was happening?
Garrus tries to reassure the thief with a nod, she replies with her eyes and turns to tend to Tali. Ignoring the annoying Geth squabble bursting through his QEC comms and that likely were heard inside Tali's helmet as well, he grabs hold at the walls with his talons and manages to throw himself to the comm terminal and punches it hard. "Joker, status? Where's EDI?"
"You're right in front of her, Garrus!" The pilot shouts meaning the AI Core behind the Medbay, but before Garrus exploded at him, he adds: "I…don't know. Look! She is humming right beside me! She doesn't answer! Shepard asked something to her that is taking all she can give. Beside navigation and weapons everything else seems crazy! Something is flooding from the QEC terminal and patching through your comms to increase the width of the band to Shepard! Let me just…NO YOU DON´T BITC…" And the line was cut out.
"Dr Chakwas, gimme something now, I must get to the bridge"
"Wait right there, Vakarian!"-the Doctor starts to protest, but stops cold when the turian looks at her. Only Shepard had that effect on her before.
"Take care of Tali for me, you being here is the only reason I may leave."
Karin Chakwas nods and shots his neck with stimulants and painkillers. A beady blue eye fixes her and in a softer tone: "Keep Kasumi here for me as well, please. I'll come back soon enough…" And he exits the bay.
"The idiot knew I could listen to him, didn't him?" Kasumi is crying silently holding her friend's alien hand, but a small smile crisp her lips.
Dr Karin Chakwas was having a long day. "Men?!" She tries, shrugging her shoulders and turning to the vitals of the young engineer.
Garrus is taking his time trying to overcome the pain till the elevator. To depend on a damned elevator while your ship is under heavy fire is a most idiot thing to come out from the head of a shipbuilder. But he wasn't in any shape for stairs right now anyway.
"And this one at least doesn't have music. AHHHH…Spirits! The pain…"
"Spirits of Palaven, look after my brother. Spirits of my forefathers guard my friend. Spirits of Earth…keep your son alive…My guess is that you favor the crazy ones…"
Citadel surface, facing the Catalyst:
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"Right, make every sentient being a damned cyborg, let's level everybody to husks! The answer of this cycle was supposed to be the union of the different races, why shouldn't the Reapers have the final laugh, at least?" His limp was real enough; whatever the Geth were doing at least cleaned his thoughts from the worst of his injuries. But he couldn't buy time while everybody was dying upon his head! The little Geth buzz just a moment ago almost made him jump shitless! Seconds! Just seconds after he made hell of his head to spell in a century dead code! "EDI, Joker and Tali forgive me, but I'd take you out for dinner if you could eat!"
That was a gamble to give him a shot of hope…But a gamble for what? "I don't know the game or the cards on this one, just the stakes…"
His death was not the problem, and if it had to be done in order to save the Galaxy, he would shot EDI in the face at the spot, his soul was already hell bound anyway…Maybe it was hurt pride, his pride. To give that machine the last word after he was gone. An explosion of "Space Magic" and it would be done, whatever it was…Believing its words was more insane than trusting the Collector's Base to Cerberus back in the day. But, what the hell… While walking he gripped his gun, Geth or not, ("sorry guys") he could just shoot that stupid console. "Why would an ancient all-advanced machine design an interface that needs being shot to function?!" Drama… If that bastards Leviathans had accomplished anything was to create an AI like their image, ruthless and arrogant to cosmic levels… It was all about itself, not even the Reapers really mattered, just the conclusion of "its" directive. Beyond being stupid enough for not to see that extinguishing all sentient life just to avoid it to happen later by another AI was just plain dumb ("Inscrutable reasons my ass!"), it couldn't see that those three "solutions" aren't even really a perfect answer for the organic versus synthetic coexistence question in first place…
("What is this?…")
His gun is hot and buzzing…He frowns and almost faint, his sight…The borders of his vision seems to flicker…pixelated?!
Inside the Carniflex, its automated systems were all repurposed hastily to functions never imagined to a gun. The armor and omnitool were in overdrive. Soon it would cook the Commander alive, but the Geth needed numbers, Geth numbers meaning power. But there was no more hardware available for expansion, not a single drive…until one Geth process hit a metaphoric elbow on another and "pointed"…There was something…
"Shepard-Commander?"
Shepard freezes…His sight blurs more intensely in polygons, he had enough of this feeling twice already, once at that mess on Planet Aite, and later releasing Geth programs from Reaper's control from a station near Rannoch. But it's not what makes his voice sound small and hoarse now…
"Legion?!"
"…Negative. The Geth Consensus stands to honor our Alliance. We need to increase our local presence but there's only one option to go further."
"My implants…"-He thinks not wanting to wise the AI about it.
"Correct"-He realizes the voice is in his head! "It will come to harm your functions, Commander." No half words with the Geth… "The Geth may cease functioning at this planetary revolution, but if you agree, the Geth go free."
Shepard's eyes went wide. He has another question but it's quieted. It's less important… The increasing interface of his mind with the Geth is confusing. The speeding Starships over his head, if he looks at them long enough, suddenly their name, whole navigational status and crew data jump in front of his eyes in an Augmented Reality. Memory flashes were made astonishing real, he felt like struggling to keep on his feet or could just drift lost in them.
He sees again the Farmer Platform of the Geth raising a rifle against its oppressors for the first time, and three hundred years later when he offered the Geth himself a hand, that was a different platform then but some of the processes were actually the same… What was the difference here?
Trust... just offering trust and receiving it back.
He found his hand trembling on the holster again, discussing with Mordin at the Shroud. It was horrible enough, but now he was seeing it without the doubt, fear and maddening whispers at his ears. Mordin knew what he would do beforehand! Mordin trusted him to do the right thing or would have tried to kill him first! "Regrettable but necessary!" He was a scientist, decided on all possible outcomes based on previous data. That he, Shepard, was predictable on the one line he never crossed… The thing why Ash bitched him so much about the aliens back at the SR-1, and why she had hurt him so much at Horizon. The very reason he had chosen to gather the pariah of the Galaxy to finally stop Saren. The reason he found gold where others saw waste. Just all he had always done to keep going on till reach that exact point…
"YOUR TIME IS AT END. YOU MUST DECIDE."
And the point was the crossroad among three decisions…
"No…"
"I'm going to end this war on my terms."
"THEN YOU WILL DIE KNOWING YOU FAILED TO SAVE EVERYTHING YOU FOUGHT FOR."
"I fight for freedom, mine and everyone's. I fight for the right to choose my own fate."
"And if I die, I die knowing I did everything I could to stop you. And I'll die free."
The thing is offended in its game. It turns and leaves… "SO BE IT!"
"THE CYCLE CONTINUES."
"No, it does not!"
"YOUR CHOICE WAS MADE."
"The Cycle was already broken since Rannoch and you don't even know it. The answer you failed to obtain for millennia was found, and not by you. You're just a mistake made far too long ago by the hubris a horrid race. A malfunctioning self-centered VI, inferior to the Geth, inferior to EDI, YOU CAN'T LEARN! You can't put in doubt your own judgment on a problem; you have to hammer your damn solution through the whole Galaxy, Genocide after Genocide for eons. And for what? To save us? And then set the traps of the mass relays for us just to turn the shit faster?" He turns to the hateful and astonished glare the hologram was giving him. "I just came from London, you know? I've seen how you preserve Architecture, or Art, or anything else! "Harvest" WITH A BULLDOZER? How many scientists you turned into husks? And poets? Or musicians? The genes of the species you just reduce to scrap to make those monsters" He signaled in the general direction of the battle overhead."Just fuck off! I've had enough of you."
The Reapers themselves were seemingly diminishing fire as to listen… The hated form of Harbinger slowly turned…
"YOU ARE DELUSIONAL, WEAK, DEFEATED"
"And you are irrelevant…always was"- And just gave his back to the Hologram, its portrayal of hate and shock distorting the face of that facade of a child, its immeasurable rancor tangible while fading away…
Just then Shepard asks the Geth with voice level. "Can you just hack the damn thing?"
War Theater, Sol System:
At the Orizaba:
"Something is going on down there! They're giving us a breathing… Shepard! Let's buy your kid all the time we can muster!"
"You heard the man! KEEP FIRING!"
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At the Normandy:
"Garrus! Reaper hot at Starboard!"
"Let the shooting stuff thing to me, just drive!"
"It's piloting you turian jerk!"
"Do it then! Keep close to the Station, Harbinger is avoiding to shoot at it for some reason and whatever Shepard is doing seems to be working, JUST GO!"
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Citadel, at the crossroad:
"Not sufficient data available, Shepard-Commander."
"WHAT?! So what was the point…"
"The Geth didn't state not to try."
"Damn…All right! Just what do I do?
"Raise your blade."
The barked laugh at the Synthetic's response had switched to a frown, then in understanding he summons the omniblade. And then a maniacal laugh!
The orange glow covered his entire arm and shoulder under thick scales, the vicious looking blade was five feet long. "Damn, all AIs have a penchant for drama!"
His vision is completely taken by data displays. The floor itself faded as less real as revealing the inner functioning underneath.
And it was breathtaking.
Millions of currents of energy and data crisscrossed in geometric rivers of light, among dark asteroids of lesser machinery to Quasars of high processing hubs. Right from the major one, shining alone like an ominous Red Giant, one brightest river of white light erupted in a straight line till just underneath him, then spreading like through a prism to the three paths ahead, in blue, green and red spectrums.
Commander Shepard looked at his feet. "Straight to the heart of the beast…"
Well, he just knew what to do by then.
And slashed.
The metal cried as it was ripped in shreds, strike after strike.
His implants were making miracles under the Geth.
No pain, no tiredness, just glee.
Maybe too much medi-gel.
Minor systems started to burst in sparkles, as he dug in even further.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
He was having the time of his life.
"Beating the Kobayashi Maru, asshole!"
There was a new urgency on that voice… Shepard's augmented senses got glimpse of signs flowing at his direction and far moaning and scraping sounds. The coward thing had called troops…
"WE GAVE YOU OPPORTUNITY ABOVE ANY SPECIES, WHO ARE YOU TO DARE CONFRONT US?"
He pauses to breathe, right ahead lies the main link, shining like an uncovered silver seam.
"Commander Shepard, Alliance Forces, Spectre to the Citadel Council…"
"YOU MOCK US REFUSING TO ANSWER"
"Oh, I think I just did!"
And strikes! The ommiblade sinks and melts into the hardware in a snake lunge. Shepard screams as all his body serves like a conduit and a Galactic hive mind rushes through like a typhoon. The energy burst and the blinding light are the last things he notes…
And then…
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Silean Nebula, Normandy SR-2
Six days before the Strike against Cerberus
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The airlock opens and Shepard stops. He looks at what he found at the step of his cabin and can't decide if he should frown or smile.
Smile that is.
He crouches and tries to hold breath while gently picking up his load. No chance, bright almond eyes flicker immediately behind the purple visor. The young quarian sighs and rests her helmet on his shoulder.
"Hi…"
"Sorry…How long have you been out here? Why didn't you call?"
"Humm? Oh! No, I don't mind, John! Don't you worry, you know I was used to this."
"You could have hacked in…" Her lover raises a brow and smiles.
"You bet I would just do it!... if I needed, I mean…"- Her voice sobers, last time she needed to do it was on one of his lowest. The voices he had listened, maddening him, she had to get there before…well, she did it anyway.
He knows. "And why didn't you?"
"EDI said you were doing important stuff for the mission, talking to people. I wouldn't meddle in…And I can walk, John…"
"Oh, you know I certainly don't mind about this either!"
He knows she is smiling right now. In a playful tone she says while tilting her head considering him. "I've asked Traynor about it. She told me all she knew was having beaten you again in chess, left in a hurry and then you were under lock up… I didn't know you as such a sore loser, John…"
"I'm not! Oh…" He smiles huge at the tease. He loves that accent of hers…it was like dating a Space Gipsy. "Look, to prove I'm above such things, how about I teach you chess then?"
"Traynor seems like a more suitable teacher…" No, she can't hold his hurt look and laughs. "Ok, but how does it prove anything?"
"I propose to teach a quarian genius a game based on logic and math. Or I don't care to have my ass kicked by a three finger foot or I'm just stupid!"
Oh, she liked that! She tries to go on without betraying it on her voice. "But then it wouldn't be much of a game. Where's the fun for you?"
"Oh my, here comes, "the lopsided smirk of evil"…" Tali thinks.
"Oh, you're right. We gotta make it more interesting somehow…" He pretends to think hard about it. "Oh, I don't know! Strip-chess is even possible? Maybe we could just give it a try anyway or something…"
"Bosh'tet!"
Not a bit of truth on the voice of that admonishment. By what Tali searched on the extranet about the rules of human chess while waiting outside the room, she wouldn't be the one stark naked soon enough…
The board on the table was as just left one minute ago and now forgotten. Shepard had already stored the blacks, minus the king. It was laid just turned aside. The virtual whites were almost all on their usual place as at the beginning of a game. Minus the king, the Spectre dropped it while rushing to get Tali. Both kings lay down. All other whites untouched…