A/N: Another chapter, yippie! Sorry for the ending, it can seem a little hasty, but I really wanted to give this chapter to you today as I'm not sure when I'll find the strength to write again! I hope you're going to enjoy it.
He was sitting in the almost empty bullpen behind the desk, which used to be his, and staring at the indefinite point in front of him. It was still a little difficult for him to believe that he was allowed to be there, considering his close relation to one of the kidnapped people, but it seemed that the higher-ups had no other choice but to let him work with his old team. It was one of those things he was glad for; if there was any team in this building capable of leading this investigation, it was this one. Yet, he expected that one of the first things he would say was going to be that he should go home and wait for any news, but it didn't happen. Yes, it was obvious that it wasn't the decision they made gladly, but still he heard that his knowledge of the people they were trying to find might be quite useful, and he was the only one of the three people, who came back and was available right now.
It was at this point when he realised, how poorly he actually knew the two men he spent most of the last three years with. It was easier for him to tell what hockey team they were fans of, or what food they liked to eat, or what was the thing, which annoyed them the most and other those kind of things, but he didn't really know the basics. For some time he didn't even know that Tom was Tom; he has met him as Matt, and only during their travelling around the USA he admitted that his real name was Thomas, but everyone called him either Tom or Tommy. And only by accident he got to know that the men was from North Dakota; he suspected that if they didn't happen to get this chance to contact the headquarters, he wouldn't have known anything about his family or where he came from. It also seemed that he didn't know quite a lot, as he was really surprised when he learned, that he didn't go to North Dakota when they parted on the airport, when Jack and Steve went to the plane going to DC. He was convinced it was the place, where they should look for him, but then he was informed that he went to Arizona and they couldn't get in contact with him now. And Jack had absolutely no idea why he would go to that state; he never heard Tom mentioning anything about this place, but the truth was that they never really discussed it. They only talked about Jack's family – and only once; the only reason for that was that the picture of Emily must have accidentally slipped out of his pocket, Tom found it, and they knew all along that he had a wife he wanted to go back to, after all he was one of those, who were supposed to leave that fateful day.
But, when it came to Tom – he realised that he didn't even know his real surname, it was still better than with Steve. Jack didn't even know if it was his real name or just an alias; he didn't mention having anyone in DC, even though he arrived there with him. It also dawned on him that he wouldn't even know where to look for him; it always seemed to be Steve finding him at the time when it was needed. Now he not only didn't know where he could be or where he was actually staying, but he wasn't even sure if his sudden disappearance wasn't suspicious. He didn't really want to think that the man, who saved his life and who he spent most of his undercover time with, could be in fact on the side of the organisation, but his mind was giving him a lot of scenarios and it was only one of them, and probably one of the most probable ones. There was also this possibility, that he was taken as well, but he doubted it; from what he was able to observe, Steve was one of the most careful people he's ever met and wouldn't allow himself to make even slightest mistake leading to being found.
He guessed he wasn't going to know the truth until they find him, but right now he was the only one of the three left, and he was kind of thankful for it. He couldn't imagine that he would have to sit at home and wait, unable to act; he knew that the possibility that they were going to find Emily and Darcy unharmed was really low, but there was this hope deep in his heart, which he decided to focus on. Even though his mind was telling him that it was hopeless, he had to at least try to find his little girl and bring her back to Sue, he owed it to her wife. It was all his fault that she was taken, of this he had no doubts, and it was the very least he could do. He couldn't even ask her to forgive him, he had no right for it and if it turned out that their daughter wasn't going to return home safe and sound... He didn't even want to think about it; he didn't want to believe that because of his stupidity something might happen to this little darling, whose only fault was that she was his child. He wouldn't be able to look into Sue's eyes again, he wouldn't even be able to make her see him; she would have every right to hate him, what she would surely do, and all this would completely destroy him.
He shook his head, he had to stop thinking this way. It was very difficult for his thoughts not to drift this way, when in the corner of his eye he could see Bobby, sitting behind his own desk. He was allowed to stay as well, even though initially he was supposed to be taken off the investigation. Only when he made a scene, that he had the same right to be a part of it as Jack had and categorically refused to leave, saying that he wasn't going to stay away and watch. They finally agreed for him to stay as well, but it made Jack only feel worse. He didn't even want to look at his friend, he had the right to hate him as well. Darcy wouldn't be in any danger if they didn't want to give him a chance to spend some time alone with Sue, he was actually surprised that they have taken her as well, but whatever was their reason, her life was at risk, too. Probably even more than Emily's, because they could use their daughter to lure him, while they completely didn't need Darcy.
They both jumped, when Myles stormed into the bullpen and looked at him with eyes full of hope, but he only sent him a guilty look. He had news, but definitely not the kind they were looking forward to hear.
"It seems that one of your friends suddenly decided to show up, Jack. D. is trying to convince the higher-ups now that you are still useful, and they should let you work with us even if you were asked to remain here now."
"Yeah, this way we aren't of much help at all, and only get more annoyed." barked Bobby, showing his displeasure at the fact that the whole team was in the conference room, while they had to stay there but both decided not to do much fuss in order not to be kicked out completely.
"You can stop now, because I was sent here to do the honours and invite you to join us."
They were at their feet within a second and almost ran to the conference room. Everyone's head turned to look at the door, when they almost stormed inside, and they had to be quite a look, but it was one of the last things they cared about. There were three chairs left and Jack's eyebrows moved up at the sight of Tom, sitting next to Tara. He wasn't really able to explain it why, but he actually expected to see the other one of his 'friends' there. Not that he had any preference, but since Steve has already been in DC, it was more probable for him to suddenly show up.
The truth was that they were pretty much nowhere. The only recording they hoped they would have let them down, because the camera just broke short time after it recorded Bobby walking out of the building after being summoned to work. The case was actually forgotten, given to another team and their whole focus was on finding Emily, Darcy, and as it turned out, one more person named Nancy. She was the main reason why Tom even thought of coming to DC, but it was when the lead led him to after she suddenly vanished and he realised that it wasn't accidental. He also realised that the sole fact that they went to DC might not be accidental either, and even though he wasn't sure it was even in their plans, he decided to go there as quickly as possible to warn Jack, but he turned out to arrive too late.
"I was supposed to leave yesterday morning, but there were problems with control tower and all the planes were delayed... I would have arrived in time to warm you if I had travelled as planned..." he said, before Jack was able to start shouting at him "And don't tell me I could call, because it's not like I have your phone number."
Jack only nodded, but one look at him was obvious that he didn't happily agree with him. Yet, he couldn't deny he was telling the truth, because they really didn't exchange phone numbers. Jack actually purchased his new cell phone after arriving in DC, and suspected that Tom did the very same thing, only in Arizona.
"Do you have any pictures of this Nancy?" asked D., who was this time working along with them and Tom shrugged.
"It was taken almost ten years ago, but she didn't change much. Her hair is only a little longer." he placed a photo of himself and red-headed woman on the table, and they could see that it wasn't very recent.
He could be right and she might have not changed much, but he definitely have. And if he didn't tell them the amount of time difference, they would have sworn that much more than ten years must have passed since that sunny day. Dimitrius attached the picture to the board, next to the ones of Emily and Darcy. But even though they had everything they knew written there, it wasn't even enough to give them a good lead.
"Don't worry, Jack. It seems that they have something other in mind than just killing them, otherwise Nancy would have been dead a long time ago" said Tom, when everyone parted to do the tasks they were assigned and the two of them stayed in conference room, to together prepare good information about who they were looking for. Hudson believed that it was a waste of precious time, but didn't say a word.
"This Nancy... She's your girlfriend..? Fiancée..? Wife..?" he couldn't help but ask, and Tom snorted in response.
"Not everyone is as lucky as you are, Jackie. I've met her during one of my undercover missions, tried to get her attention for most of it and all I got was three months of dating and one night we have spent together... I'm pretty sure she hates me now, convinced I used her, and she has every right to do so because I acted like a casual asshole, simply vanished into thin air in the morning... I didn't even get the chance to tell her that I loved her, she didn't even know my real name. I was checking on her every now and then, but it was the first time in nine years I got to see her. We didn't even exchange one word, I was careful so she wouldn't see me but they somehow knew, what she meant to me. I have to find her, I owe it to her. If I just left her at peace, she would lead a perfectly happy life, unaware of the fact that she once dated one of the worst kind of guys a girl could."
"You at least kept your distance, I was too selfish to think about the possibilities... I just wanted to be a part of my daughter's life, to have Sue back..."
"And don't reproach yourself for that. With Steve, we knew that it was going to be this way, this is why he decided to accompany you instead of following his usual suit and flying to Maine, to visit his wife's grave. He knew that you aren't going to be careful and he decided to do it for you, so he could warn you in case there was danger. Your friends seem to believe he's involved in all this, what is the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard."
"What is your theory then? Why did he disappear like that? And why didn't he actually warn me if you claim that's why he came with me?"
"I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it'll turn out to be a very good reason. By the way, why don't you go home and be with your Sue? I'm certain she could use your company, and I am going to be perfectly fine doing this by myself."
"She has a company of her best friend, and I'm sure she's going to be as fine as she can be with her child being missing and in danger."
"Don't you think she'd prefer your company instead of this friend's?" Jack could see the fire of anger appear in the man's eyes at the sight of his face expression "Seriously, Jack? You didn't stay away when it would be the most reasonable thing to do, but you want to do it now, when she actually needs you? Don't you think it's a little too late? Your daughter is missing and she is hurting as hell; do you really think that by distancing yourself from her, you're going to make it easier for her?" Jack shrugged, and for a short moment thought, that Tom was going to hit him. "I am not going to say that you shouldn't blame yourself, because it is very much your fault that this little girl of yours is missing, but it only means more that you owe her any support she needs! And you are going to go home now and be with her, because you aren't going to be of much use here while you could be there! I am perfectly capable of doing this by myself, and I have a way better knowledge about those people than you do, so don't start to "but" me."
Hudson could see that his friend was pretty adamant. It actually looked like he was going to throw him out if he didn't leave by himself so he just stood up and walked out of the room. For a moment he considered going to another room, but the truth was that deep in his heart he knew that Tom was right. He should be with Sue right now, even if only to beg for forgiveness, but they couldn't turn the time back now. If they could, he would probably stay away from her, even if it would break his heart completely. But it was too late now, and thinking of what he would have done if he had the knowledge he did now was even more useless. So he just walked out of the building and headed to her apartment.
He wasn't very surprised to find the door open. Her mind wasn't probably in the best of states, and she had to forget to lock it after Lucy left. But it worked for his advantage, allowing him to go in without alerting her. For a moment he wanted to change his mind and go to his place, but then he caught a glimpse of her on the couch. There was only one small lamp lit up in the living room, and it wasn't giving much light, but enough for him to see what he needed to know how much she was actually hurting. He wasn't able to turn around then; instead he slowly walked towards her and his heart was broken completely, when she looked up at him realising that there was somebody in the room. There wasn't even fear in her eyes, just pain and indifference to the fact that it could be anyone. He didn't know what do to, and was left completely speechless under her gaze. What was he supposed to tell her? There were just no words to describe what he felt.
He found himself falling to his knees in front of her, hiding his face in the material of her trousers. He wasn't able to hold it inside himself any longer and kept repeating that he was sorry, even though he knew that she didn't hear him. It didn't seem to matter though; he was surprised at the sensation of her hands going through his hair and he didn't even know how it happened, but the next thing he knew she was in his arms, pressed tightly against his chest, crying along with him. He didn't let her go, when they calmed down; it was a late night but neither one was up for sleeping. They weren't going to be able to even think about it until their little girl was going to be back with them. They just held themselves, sitting in silence and just the company of the other was enough for both of them.